What's the difference between pushing for a date and glorified stalking?
Q. I'm not the best with women. I'm OK but not great. One thing I just can't seem to do is be persistent in pursuing a girl I really like because I don't want to be seen as a glorified stalker. If I ask a girl out and she says no, I leave it at that ...
A. 20 August 2013: Dear OP,
You already do it right: you take a 'no' for a no. Many guys still don't get that! They're being told they've got to be persistent.. but really? Can you force attraction to happen, just by determination? I mean, think of it the other wa... (read in full...)
Has porn ruined the rest of my life?
Q. Hi there, I started watching porn from a young age (11 years old) and stopped when I was thirteen and was wondering now, has porn ruined my life? I feel like it's disturbed me from a young age, I only realised when I was about 12 years old; I knew ...
A. 20 August 2013: Dear OP,
As Janniepeg and the others already said, your life is not ruined.
A certain amount of sexual thoughts and wishes is already normal at your age and would probably happen even if you'd never watched porn. Of course, you'd lack the det... (read in full...)
Am I gay, bisexual or just confused?
Q. I need advice from the gay community. I have always been fascinated by the female body, their anatomy, their ability of being able to multiple and intense orgasms and being capable to be stimulated by their clit or vagina. I think I would have ...
A. 17 August 2013: Dear OP,
Your fantasies makes you neither gay or bisexual. Because you don't fantasize about having an intimate relationship or sex with a man.
What you describe is called a fantasy or fetish with gender role-play and/or feminization. An... (read in full...)
Cougar needs advice - does he like me?
Q. Hi everyone. I am a 32 year old mother of 2 children. But I am stuck in a loveless marriage with an uncaring husband. However I have recently fallen for another man who is intelligent, has many of the same qualities as me, and ohh so gorgeous ...
A. 16 August 2013: Dear OP,
FIrst of all guys, let's stop the rude "advice" here!
OP, you are in an unhappy marriage and that's why this guy is so attractive to you. You feel like you slowly drown in a dull life with no love and he's the straw you're clinging ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to tell me that I am not her best lover. Why does she lie?
Q. I met my wife when she was 40 (now she is 46). She told me that, among almost 30 previous sex partners, I am her best lover. I can not believe her. My penis is only 5 inches and normal thickness. I am not bad in bed, but I know I am not the best. ...
A. 16 August 2013: Dear OP,
So, as it turns out.. you're actually criticizing your wife for not putting "everything" in to the act. And the number of past lovers makes you think she should be able to do whatever it is that you're missing. This is NOT her being un... (read in full...)
I can't afford sleepless nights because my flat mate won't get help for his problems!
Q. I have a flatmate (or roommate) who is essentially slowly but surely loosing the plot. I've been living in my flat for around 5 months? I'd been flat hunting for around a month at this time it got offered to me and it seemed cool (piano, record ...
A. 13 August 2013: Dear OP,
You're not selfish to move out, it's your right to sleep at nights! I'd find it the best thing to do if you are sitting him down one more time and tell him: "Look, Eric, I really like you, but lately I couldn't sleep or feel at home bec... (read in full...)
My fiance in arranged marriage is so cold to me. How do I make her feel what I feel?
Q. Hello all, I am engaged for more than a month. This is an arranged marriage. The problem is that my fiancee has been cold towards me since day one. We have discussed about this and she said she would like to be friends with me first before she...
A. 12 August 2013: Dear OP,
What did you expect?
There are at least two kinds of love: One love is passionate and romantic, full of butterflies in your stomach, heart ache and sexual desire. This love can never be arranged and planned. It can fade quickly, li... (read in full...)
Almost 29 year old guy.... never ever had a girlfriend. Hard luck loser?
Q. Hey everyone. Lots of thoughts/rants in relation to this topic. I'm turning 29 in a couple of months and have finished university, currently working in IT. Never had a girlfriend in my entire life, no woman has ever been interested in me...
A. 12 August 2013: Dear OP,
I can understand it's really hard when you're trying to find someone and it just doesn't work. I know several guys who only found first girlfriends later in life (one was even 40 years old). So, all I can recommend is keep on looking.... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to tell me that I am not her best lover. Why does she lie?
Q. I met my wife when she was 40 (now she is 46). She told me that, among almost 30 previous sex partners, I am her best lover. I can not believe her. My penis is only 5 inches and normal thickness. I am not bad in bed, but I know I am not the best. ...
A. 11 August 2013: Dear OP,
Of course there's a way out. It's just not an easy way out. So, you don't trust your wife to be telling you the truth. That's where you start from. You've tried therapy once, it didn't work. Well, then try again. I needed 3 psychoth... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to tell me that I am not her best lover. Why does she lie?
Q. I met my wife when she was 40 (now she is 46). She told me that, among almost 30 previous sex partners, I am her best lover. I can not believe her. My penis is only 5 inches and normal thickness. I am not bad in bed, but I know I am not the best. ...
A. 10 August 2013: Dear OP,
As far as I know, you've already posted this question once or twice and many agony aunts tried to bring you to reason. Since none of our advice could help you cope with your doubts and anxiety, please do something about it now! Or you m... (read in full...)
I can't imagine the feeling of walking down the aisle and listen to him promise things to me that he already promised to someone else.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for eight months now, I met him while he was still living and in a marriage with another woman. He states that they were separated though they still lived together, said I love you, and hasn't filed for a ...
A. 10 August 2013: Dear OP,
I also agree with llifton that 8 months are a very short time for two people to be a couple. And the marriage-and-kids-talk is too early, no matter if he was already married before.
Take your time with him and find out how deep his com... (read in full...)
I'd like to date again but I am in remission from cancer and worry every day that the cancer will return. How soon should I tell someone I'm dating about it?
Q. I am a 33 year old man who has been single for 2 years but I feel I am ready to get back out in the dating game again and see how it goes. However I am a little hesitant because of a possible terminal cancer diagnosis. Last year I was diagnosed ...
A. 9 August 2013: Dear OP,
I am very sorry you're going through this. The advice I'm going to give you is a bit of the touchy-feely kind but it's my experience from dating: Don't worry too much in advance about what to disclose when. Just look at the woman in... (read in full...)
My GF seem to want her mom-daughter see us have sex!. Why would this be?
Q. My girlfriend seems to be setting things up so that her daughter or her mother see us making love. Is this a more common desire for women than I realized? My girlfriend and I are sort of engaged to be engaged. she surrently lives with her mom and...
A. 9 August 2013: Dear OP,
This is not common. I don't want to play Freud but I'd say there must be an underlying family issue. Maybe there is some subconscious competition among the women in this house about who is more attractive, has the better sex life etc. So ... (read in full...)
Can you get that wet just from kissing?
Q. Hi! Yesterday we were in bed with my boyfriend and we were kissing (we haven't had sex yet) and I got really wet and I got embarrassed and I didn't want him to notice so we didn't go any further. Is ir normal to get that wet from just kissing?...
A. 8 August 2013: Dear OP,
Yes, that's perfectly normal. When I first made out with someone my panties got all wet and yes, I was also really embarrassed. But it's normal and it's a good sign if your boyfriend is such a good kisser. ... (read in full...)
First time advice for 2 virgins?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have decided we are ready to go beyond kissing. We are both virgins though she did have oral with a previous boyfriend. It doesn't bother me, but perhaps adds to my anxiety a little. Any first time tips? How should I initiate ...
A. 7 August 2013: Dear OP,
Don't add pressure onto the situation by wanting to be "her best" right away - it's okay if the first time is full of nervousness and a little awkward. The best I can recommend is that you process "gradually".. maybe not going "all the... (read in full...)
I think I may be gay and I'm really angry with myself. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Q. Hi. I'm hoping for a little help if possible. I'm 27 and I think I may be gay. I've always found myself admiring other women and their bodies but ignored my feelings. I have been quite angry and destructive for a long time and I think it may hav...
A. 6 August 2013: Dear OP,
I agree with what was said before. Before you figure out anything else, are you still happy in this current relationship? If not, can you fix it? If you can't fix it, then break up no matter whether you're lesbian, bisexual or not. You... (read in full...)
I am terrified to give blowjobs!
Q. I am wondering if this problem is common or if there is another qoman who has learned a way to deal with it. I am terrified to give blowjobs. Not only is the smell and taste horrendous to me, but i begin panicking, shutting down mentally, and go...
A. 5 August 2013: Dear OP,
Sometimes it takes all the courage you have to stay true to yourself. And risk disappointing someone. It's only then that you find out how strong their love or friendship really is.
He suggested that you stop giving him blow jobs. T... (read in full...)
Is it just the bipolar, or is he just a jerk?
Q. I have been with my partner for about 10 months, but it has been full of drama the whole time, and I don't know if I put up with it anymore or give up, so what do you think? Our story is...we meet online and were friends for awhile before started ...
A. 5 August 2013: Dear OP,
As far as I know, lying to your partner isn't a symptom of bipolar disorder. He may have lied to you about having sex with someone else (transvestite?), he lied to you about smoking and he lies to you about his motives to be on a dating s... (read in full...)
At what point is it OK to buy lingerie for your girlfriend?
Q. Me and my gf have been seeing for a year and a half now . I’m thinking I would like to get a special gift. I’m thinking about lingerie. when is it ok to lingerie for your girlfriend? Any advice about getting lingerie for a girlfriend? Is that ...
A. 3 August 2013: Dear OP,
The best gifts are those that a woman wants, but usually doesn't buy too often for herself because she considers it luxury. Maybe it's sexy lingerie, maybe it's a ticket to the opera, maybe it's a new pair of earrings..
So, if your g... (read in full...)
I can't get into a relationship because of past porn issues. Please help!
Q. To make a long Story Short, I use to have a habit of watching porn at night and during the time that i would watch porn I would pleasure myself, this would happen every night. I loved the feeling it gave me but this happened at the beginning of ...
A. 3 August 2013: Dear OP,
I'm not sure if I really understand everything about your problem.
It's one thing to have problematic porn consumption. But it sounds like you didn't just stop to watch porn, you also forced yourself to stop masturbating, which I don'... (read in full...)
Serious HELP! How do I keep a player interested in me?!!!!
Q. Met this guy who is very very wealthy, handsome and well connected yesterday. We swapped numbers and he has texted me asking me out. But he is saying stuff about how he wants me and wants me to go to his house etc. Obv he is a player and takes diff ...
A. 3 August 2013: Dear OP,
It won't work the way you want it. Because you don't have anything else to offer to him - besides sex. You're not important for HIS business, so he won't see you as a business partner. Also, he doesn't sound like he's particul... (read in full...)
Can you fall in love with someone without having ever talked?
Q. Can you fall in love with someone without ever having talked to them? I am in this date site. But I am not a gold member. So I can't talk to anyone, just when gold member contact me if I like their profile I can answer. I can get over hundreds em...
A. 3 August 2013: Dear OP,
I am sorry but I don't believe in love at first sight, especially not on the internet. I've had moments like this - several ones over the years - and they all turned out to be utter, stupid mistakes.
You don't know this man, you've... (read in full...)
What can a guy do to sexually attract a woman?
Q. What can a guy do to SEXUALLY attract a woman, be it a friend, girlfriend or spouse? I mean what can he do to get a sexual spark in her, to get her mind thinking or wanting, even subconsciously, to do something sexual with him? It's easy for ...
A. 3 August 2013: Dear OP,
The most simple answer I can give is to have a physically fit body. Just as men check out women's bodies, we check out men's bodies. And no matter if we tolerate physical flaws in our boyfriends and can fall in love with an overweig... (read in full...)
Is there a "polite" way to find and pursue casual sex?
Q. I'm not sure what this community thinks of "casual sex", but let me start by clarifying about myself. I'm a 28 year old guy, never had sex, never had a girlfriend, never gotten anywhere with a woman. What I always REALLY want(ed) was to find a ...
A. 2 August 2013: Dear OP,
Before answering your question, let me just tell you that I get how you're feeling.
It's hard to tell over the internet how much I understand this line of thought, but I do.
Okay, now here's my answer to your question: Yes, sure ... (read in full...)
Does anal bleaching cost alot of money?
Q. Hi this is for men and women to answer... I know other women have this.. Dark brown round their bum hole. I think mine is a bad case. Can men see this when having sex with a woman, does it put them off? Obviously it would have to be specific p...
A. 30 July 2013: Dear OP,
I don't really know if men are put off by this. But I used to worry about this and there's actually a cheaper solution than do anal bleaching. If you go to a pharmacy you can buy a cream that bleaches pigment spots and age marks. Anyway..... (read in full...)
I feel jealous because this guy gets a girl who is a virgin even though he probably is not one.
Q. This question might sound childish but it has been on my mind for quite sometime. I was dating this girl for awhile and found out she is a virgin. Now that is not the problem because I am one too but about a month ago I found out she was actually ...
A. 30 July 2013: Dear OP,
sorry if we agony aunts started a fight over the importance of virginity.. I can relate you want to lose your virginity to a girl you truly like. It's a smart choice and takes more patience than just having a ONS. It seems that you thou... (read in full...)
I feel jealous because this guy gets a girl who is a virgin even though he probably is not one.
Q. This question might sound childish but it has been on my mind for quite sometime. I was dating this girl for awhile and found out she is a virgin. Now that is not the problem because I am one too but about a month ago I found out she was actually ...
A. 30 July 2013: Dear OP,
I think there's a difference between how people perceive male virginity versus female virginity.
A woman who stays a virgin up to a certain age shows she's not "cheap" and not easy to have. That stems from an old tradition that d... (read in full...)
Dildo insertion is uncomfortable - I am a virgin. Any advice?
Q. Question: I have a vibrator/dildo (and I'm a virgin), and when I insert it, it doesn't feel good. It doesn't feel (really) bad, just kinda uncomfortable. Am I do something wrong? Any advice? [i use some lube]...
A. 29 July 2013: Dear OP,
Vaginas are made for penises, not dildos. While a dildo mostly feels like a stick and is a dead thing, a penis is warm and smooth and adapts to the shape of your body. You can never get the same pleasure from a dildo than from a real pen... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got angry with me and wants to break up because I didn't accompany her in to Starbucks, I'm considering giving her what she wants
Q. Story: We have being dating for just 3 years. We are both each other's first gf and bf. I am 28. She's 27. We are both Asians. I went to my gf's place to pick her and her sister up to attend their parents' event about 1.5 hrs away. They wante...
A. 29 July 2013: Dear OP,
You remind me of a boy I knew and once felt very sorry for. He was a nice and shy guy and was the boyfriend of one of my friends. She always belittled him, talked behind his back and basically used him as a household slave. In the end,... (read in full...)
He seems interested in me and I'd be happy to have a platonicc relationship but I'm attached
Q. A senior from my school recently started talking to me on facebook. He's really good-looking, the tall,dark, handsome mould actually. We were talking for about two days when he asked me out. I'm actually fine if things between us were platonic, but ...
A. 29 July 2013: Dear OP,
Yes, he is romantically interested in you. That's why you can't have a platonic friendship with him, it's not possible. If you keep meeting him, he will always hope for more. So accept that he doesn't show any interest anymore. It's jus... (read in full...)
Advice for job interviews?
Q. Hi, right this isn;t really a relationship question but I wondered if you could still give me some advice. I have a job interview coming up, and I also have to do an assessment centre before hand. I've been to one before and failed miserably as it ...
A. 23 July 2013: Dear OP,
Don't make everything depending on this one job. You sometimes need to go to several assessments and get rejected several times until you find the right thing. So go there with an attitude "if I don't make it this time, it's not the end ... (read in full...)
Does my unusual prefrence doom me to being alone?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles, I have a pretty vague question but I'll try and go into detail. I'm a 17 year old female and all my life I've only been attracted to middle aged women. I realized I was gay at about 11 years old, so I consciously knew how I ...
A. 23 July 2013: Dear OP;
I must warn you of something: I suppose that the women you've been attracted to in the past were straight and not interested in you sexually. So you've had innocent and platonic relationships and fantasized about these women in your fre... (read in full...)
Is she going to turn straight?
Q. I'm a butch lesbian and I'm in a relationship with a straight girl turned femme. I love her so much and I want her to be in my future, you know... those dreams that you have a partner for life. But something has been bothering me lately. I'm ...
A. 21 July 2013: Dear OP,
If I had a partner who was willing to touch his/her ex, but NOT me, I'd feel rejected. I don't know how realistic it is that you'll lose a former straight woman to a man, but that she doesn't want to touch you is kind of a mild warning ... (read in full...)
Would you date a guy with a background like mine?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old guy and I've never been in a relationship. I'm going to give an explanation as of why. In my teens I was essentially very shy and insecure and so didn't really dare to approach girls that I liked. When I was 19 I started to ...
A. 20 July 2013: Dear OP,
In short, would I date a guy like you? Yes. If there is some chemistry and we get along well, I wouldn't mind about that.
After a certain age, every man and every woman has some emotional scars, oddities, weird stories or some baggage ... (read in full...)
Having trouble adapting to a much more aggressive culture
Q. i need advice please.im asian and married to a german man, we are already 10 years together. I dont have problem with my husband, he is ok to me. im living here in germany with my husband for nearly 3 years.my problem is the people here. im still ...
A. 19 July 2013: Dear OP,
First of all I'm very sorry that this is your impression of germany :( I don't know thailand but I have some asian friends and I can imagine the culture is very different. Germans have a culture of showing their displease. I don't li... (read in full...)
How do I become better at dating?
Q. I'm 27, have Asperger's syndrome, do some voluntary work with disabled adults, and voluntary IT work for a living, and live in the United Kingdom. However, my problem is in regard to dating; for me it's hard to get a girlfriend. Maybe it's beca...
A. 19 July 2013: Dear OP,
You asked where you can meet people.
So, I would recommend that you can follow your interests and meet new people at the same time. Some suggestions:
1) Online dating (I know you don't want to because of security reasons, but I actua... (read in full...)
Am I just not date-able?
Q. I have been single for a year now and I am starting to get really frustrated with it. I am a attractive and interesting 22 year old girl. I am over weight, but I, and other guys I know find my body very sexy because of it's shape; I'm very hour ...
A. 18 July 2013: Dear OP,
You've been single for a year.. that's not really long. I know enough beautiful girls that have been single for longer. Being overweight might be a problem for a few men, but for others it won't be. No one is attractive to every one and ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend takes medication for depression and is no longer into sex
Q. just a quick question. my girlfriend is on zoloft for depression and it's really effecting her sex drive. before the medication, our sex was incredible. it was all the time and extremely good! now she's not interested in sex, and when we have it, ...
A. 18 July 2013: Dear OP,
I used to take zoloft for over a year. I think the ssri can affect sex drive (it says so on the package), but so can depression. So it could either be that the ssri is causing the low sex drive, or the depressive symptoms are still th... (read in full...)
I think I'm gay, but people can't just turn gay over the years, can they?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I think I'm gay, I'm 23 and for years I have been having gay thoughts and fantasies which arouses me and sometimes I can't help but mastubate to them but then I feel wrong somehow. I used to have a few girlfriends when I was ...
A. 18 July 2013: Dear OP,
I disagree that you can't turn gay - sexuality can develop and change a great deal over the years. I used to have a boyfriend when I was thirteen, then felt almost only attracted towards women and had a girlfriend until I was in my late ... (read in full...)
He couldn't get it up our first time together!
Q. I'm 31 and I went on my third date with a new guy (37) last night. We have known each other for about a month, but started dating just last week. The night went great and we had a lot of fun. We stayed up really late and he ended up spending the ...
A. 18 July 2013: Dear OP,
He gave you oral, complimented you on your looks and stayed with you after this weird first time. I'm sure he's attracted to you. Don't make this about you, you're not doing anything wrong.
If you really like the guy, just keep dating... (read in full...)
Is love really racist or Is it just my mind?
Q. Hi Friends, I am really trying to understand something here. I am working in a private sector firm and I like someone at work. I am an South East Asian and she probably is White/Mix. She started working at my company couple of weeks ago. When ...
A. 17 July 2013: Dear OP,
All you know of her is that she's attractive and the few things she said to you the first time you talked. This is more of a crush than "really liking" someone.
In that woman's situation, there could be a lot of reasons why she ... (read in full...)
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