A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married over ten years and my relationship is in tatters, my husband has a very controlling nature and the past year has got worse, the physical abuse has stopped but the emotional abuse is just as draining, will he ever change and is it worth me trying anymore?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you to all who gave me their advice,counceling is not an option i have started to stand up for myself and need to build on my confidence,i have read many different sites on the web which have helped a great deal.thanks again.
A
male
reader, Dr. John  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 First your husband needs to admit that he has a problem.
Then and only then is it a possibility that he will change.
If he refuses to believe there is a problem then you are up against a block wall and there is no sense in even trying because he will not move.
Another thing is that this behavior may be and often is deep seated.
Quoting from an article I am giving you the link to, note how these problems arise.
"As babies and young children, they grew up in hostile surroundings where emotional and physical violence were 'normal.'" According to one expert, a male who is raised in such an environment "can absorb his father's contempt for women very early in life. The boy learns that a man must always be in control of women and that the way to get that control is to scare them, hurt them, and demean them."
Please do not be put off by the fact that this site shows the bible's viewpoint because there is lots of valuable information for you here and the series of articles are unbiased. Please, I emplore you to read them. The scriptures are sited simply to show you where in the bible the information is found and in no way is to make you look them up and read them.
I sincerly hope that you find the help you are looking for in this information. Doc
http://www.watchtower.org/e/20011108/article_02.htm
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (8 March 2008):
 Leave him End of .........................
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A
male
reader, Paladin +, writes (8 March 2008):
 To begin with a man should never hit a woman. Regarding verbal abuse, other than the visable scars from physical abuse there really isn't much difference. Actually most bruses go away after a short time but emotional abuse typically lasts a long time. You need to decide if this is as good as it gets or if there is a better life out there for you. If you think that doing the same thing over and over again will get you different results you are seriously mistaken.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 March 2008):
 You need to be assertive and gain back your rights.Get back your rights as an equal partner and you may even have to leave him for a period of time until he changes or come to your terms.
If you are there, he will not change unless he goes for counseling. It will get progressively worse if you allow him to control you.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique +, writes (8 March 2008):
 If you love him and don't want to walk away from him and what you've built together than maybe try talking to him, getting some help for you as a couple and trying to find a way past all this.
I personally believe a leopard doesn't change their spots but it has been known.
Theres only one person that knows when enough is enough and when theres something to re-build on or whether whats gone on has killed everything that was once there and thats you and only you can make the right decision but make sure its the right one for you not him.
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