A
female
age
30-35,
*rueLoveWaits2016
writes:I've been having issues w/communication frequency and attention w/my bf. We met online and have met in person a couple times. He came up for almost 2 weeks almost a month ago and everything is always amazing w/us when we are physically together (not talking about sex). Yesterday I had had it and pretty much poured out my feelings. After apologizing and blaming himself, we both came to the conclusion that we were running in circles. I wished him goodnight and he did the same. All day today I haven't heard anything from him and he usually messages me at least a GM text after I get hurt or upset. We chat through social media and I can he has been active today posting things on his pro/liking things etc. Is it normal for this to happen? Does he need space? (btw we are in a long distance relationship). The avoiding me is really hurting me because that's the opposite of what I need and I'm unsure if this is his way of breaking up. Btw yesterday he did say he didn't want to break up.
View related questions:
long distance, met online, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (25 January 2017):
 You're not cut out for an LDR and you're not compatible because he doesn't need the same amount of contact with you - it doesn't mean he doesn't like you the same way.
That said, you're not compatible and you need someone local.
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (25 January 2017):
TrueLoveWaits2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAn update: Its been pretty frustrating as he hasn't initiated contact in 3 days unless I have contacted him 1st. He told me he would change and that he f'ed up. Granted I did get on his case yesterday again, but I think its done and he isn't interested. This just tells me doesn't think about me in the same way I think about him. That is the hurtful part, granted we still vid chatted, but still. Should I give it a few more days?
...............................
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (25 January 2017):
TrueLoveWaits2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do love him, but its hard w/someone that doesn't make an effort. I know that if I leave him, he will regret it, not that I'll take him back or anything, but in my experience they always come crawling back. I started seeing a guy (before my current bf), we met online as well and dated a month before he moved long distance. He became so distant and when I pressed him for answers he asked for "space" and we stayed "friends". After 2 weeks I reached out (dumb I know) and I didn't hear from him until 3 months later. He talked about wanting to come down to see me, how he missed out etc. I know they always regret their decision.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 January 2017):
 You have both only met a couple of times and already this relationship sounds very intense. You are wanting him to be there for you emotionally but have you contacted him today? Why don't you reach out to him. LDR are hard and it sounds like this one is not going to last as it is already showing way to many cracks.
...............................
A
female
reader, TrueLoveWaits2016 +, writes (24 January 2017):
TrueLoveWaits2016 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHe does as he has mentioned it before. I told him it hurt me, but this time, I'm putting my foot down, I haven't been super harsh on him or really demanded anything from him. In a couple months, I am supposed to visit him, but I will tell him I am planning on not going unless something changes, which ultimately means the end of the LDR. It will be painful for me, but a lot less painful then loving someone who doesn't put in effort. I think he believes I won't leave and I hope this is a wake up call if not he loses out. My ex also thought I wouldn't walk, boy was he surprised when I did. He always tells me how lucky he is to have found someone as smart/pretty as me, he also says that he is lucky that I put up w/him. It hurts when he says, hey I'm gonna do better from here on out and doesn't message for a whole day.
...............................
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (24 January 2017):
I don't think either of you are cut out for an LDR, as you've posted quite a few times about how it's not working, particularly regarding his communication needs differing from yours.
Not all LDRs work - most don't. You seem to have too much of an issue with this to make it work.
...............................
A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (24 January 2017):
 It is even harder to keep the intensity in a long distance relationship than in real life - I use that phrase advisedly. After all, what is it based on?
He has realised that he needs to let some space into the communications. I would allow him to do that if I were you and see what happens.
Can he live without you? Well of course he can. Is he prepared to? That's a different question.
...............................
|
