A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Not really a relationship question but any help is appreciated. Recently A Series of Unfortunate Events has made it's way onto Netflix and I have a female friend who absolutely loved it. She and I both share a particular liking for the series and through text message conversation I mentioned that I really loved the book series and she said she did as well. I mentioned that I should dig up my old copies and re-read them and she mentioned she had no idea where hers were. I asked if she had the hardcover copies of the books and she said that when she bought way back when, she could only afford the paperback version of them. Recently I found the entire collection in hardcover on the internet and bought one for myself and now one for her and I intend to give it to her as a birthday gift in a little over a month.My question to you guys is this. Is there slightly more creative way of surprising her with these books as opposed to just showing it to her and saying Happy Birthday?Any ideas are welcome. Thanks so much!!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2017): If one of my guy friends, even one of my longstanding guy friends, gave me a gift that was THAT thoughtful, and expensive, and time-consuming to put together, I would think that he wanted to be more than friends--- or, at the LEAST that he was somewhat open to that option if I felt the same way. I am a big reader, so I see books as potentially quite a romantic and personal gift, especially if it is a whole series of a fiction-fantasy sort. I only point this out because this kind of gift may spur your female friend on to see you as more than a friend. Especially if you take a lot of time to turn it into a surprise treasure hunt...This is absolutely sweet, kind and sensitive...however, I would be very wary of doing all this. If she then asked you out, it sounds like you would flat-out refuse her. She might then think that you led her on.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (7 February 2017):
 "My question to you guys is this. Is there slightly more creative way of surprising her with these books as opposed to just showing it to her and saying Happy Birthday?"
Obviously not the real question you were asking as we can now see from your responses.
It's going to be a super surprise. Well done.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 February 2017):
 I think it's a lovely present, but it's an expensive one and that's why I asked, as it's not normally wise to buy friends expensive gifts. It is thoughtful, though.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAgreed. If your intentions are purely and truly platonic and friendly then there should be nothing to worry about. If the other person misinterprets the gesture then I really don't feel it's the fault of the gift giver. And like I said, I feel that books don't really say "I want to be more than friends" (unless you're buying fifty shades of Grey). Sure they were a bit pricey but again my intentions are purely friendly so I really don't think it makes a difference.
Thanks for the response Aunt honesty!!
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A
female
reader, AskCatherine  +, writes (7 February 2017):
Hey, i think that is such a lovely idea and im sure she would appreciate it greatly.
I love creating diffetent ways of giving someone a gift, so its not the usual you know?
You could maybe put them into a box? So she wont be able to feel what it is. Or maybe do like a little treasure hunt. Each place, she finds a book. Hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 February 2017):
 I don't understand why a guy cannot buy a nice present or others think he has an ulterior motive or that he wants more than friendship. Where has kindness gone? Why do people think that their must be more?
Anyway OP such a lovely present, what a great friend you are. Depending on your personality if it was me I would probably pack them in a kettle box and write something like ' for you to enjoy when relaxing '
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys. Thanks so much for your suggestions. As two of you pointed out, there is no ulterior motive whatsoever (hard to believe right?) but we've been friends for about 3 years and we both know where we stand. I also feel that there are other gifts that would give off the "I want to be more than friends vibe" but I feel books convey a much friendlier vibe as opposed to a romantic vibe.
Again, thanks for your suggestions
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (4 February 2017):
The others have given good suggestions. I have an inkling there may be an issue, though. What do you want with her? Do you really just see her as a friend and go out of your way like this for all of your other friends? Or do you hope she may see you as more than a friend after such a nice gift?
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (4 February 2017):
You could write a series of clues that she has to follow in order to get her gift. For added sparkle make them rhyme.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (4 February 2017):
 How thoughtful of you. I anticipate she will be delighted that you actually put thought into the present.
Regarding handing it to her, the only thing I can think of is to "disguise" it as something else so that it is a complete surprise when she eventually finds it. Perhaps wrap it in many layers so that she has to keep unwrapping (like "pass the parcel") or put it inside a big box, hiding the book in packing materials, so she has to dig for it.
However you decide to hand it to her, I bet the thought behind the present will delight her as much as the present itself.
As you are going to such lengths with this present, do you perhaps have an ulterior motive? Are you hoping this friendship will turn into more?
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 February 2017):
 Mate. I think she would be chuffed at the fact you actually took note and listened to the reason she bought the paperback in the first place, hence the gift of hardback. Very thoughtful. you could say something like " Unlike the title, I had a fortunate event of finding these for you, hard copies like you wished for ages ago...Happy Birthday"
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