After one date he starts asking about sexy pictures. I like him but the vibe has changed
Q. Happy Easter fellow agony aunts! So, I am in need of some advice of this guy that I have been speaking/ seeing... so here we go! I have been speaking to this guy for pushing on 4 weeks now, we met on “tinder” and if I’m being honest, at first...
A. 6 April 2021: Drop him.
Already looking for sexy pictures this early on tells me he isn't worried about offending you. VERY bad sign.
Politely move on. No drama, no long explanations. Just tell him the chemistry vanished when he asked for pictures, and do... (read in full...)
What to do in regards to an ex friend and her repeatedly calling my land line phone?
Q. Hi and thank you to everyone who takes the time to respond to my question. A couple of months back I posted on here about a so called " friend' with whom I had a falling out. She sent me a text that she had contacted the school board that I am ...
A. 6 April 2021: I remember your previous post. The woman really is specimen. Glad the school board dismissed her.
Assuming the landline is not on a VoIP system, you could record the messages with your cell phone. I imagine you have an app on it.
Then sa... (read in full...)
Its time to call out my friend for her terrible behavior
Q. What am I to do ? I have a « friend ». For years I’ve known that she sometimes badmouths me behind my back. Today I got a piece of written proof. SHe has a terrible temper and she looks for excuses. It’s never her fault; it’s always someone e...
A. 5 April 2021: Never mind calling her out. She'll just blame you or someone else, and you already know that.
Cut her loose. Ghost her.
No drama, no announcements, just ghost her. ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to quit his job as a university professor to work at McDonalds
Q. We've been in Australia for 7 years now, and my husband works as a professor in a local university. He told me three days ago he wants to quit his job so he doesn't have to work from home, and would prefer to work at the local McDonald's as "a...
A. 9 March 2021: Yeah. That too. ... (read in full...)
My husband wants to quit his job as a university professor to work at McDonalds
Q. We've been in Australia for 7 years now, and my husband works as a professor in a local university. He told me three days ago he wants to quit his job so he doesn't have to work from home, and would prefer to work at the local McDonald's as "a...
A. 8 March 2021: As a person who has worked in a highly regulated, legal/financial industry I can tell you that over the years some of my colleagues and I have fantasized about doing the same thing.
I don't know about the legality of such a move and how it would... (read in full...)
My husband is leaving the country with our daughter for a woman he's been having an online affair with for 6 months
Q. I've changed names for anonymity. I'm married with an 11-year-old daughter, Sarah, and my life's generally been good. Now I'm questioning about staying married to my husband after his confession on Saturday about an affair. A typical af...
A. 8 March 2021: First piece of advice: speak to attorney. I do not believe your husband can legally take Sarah away, especially out of the jurisdiction without a legal agreement. If he does, that is kidnapping, and you can contact police.
Second piece of advic... (read in full...)
Is there anything wrong with never coming out as gay?
Q. I am a 36 years old man who is single. I have known since I was about 13 years old that I was gay. I have never been in a relationship with anyone (male or female) and I never came out of the closet. I always hear of people coming out of th...
A. 27 February 2021: Not in my opinion.
You can come out, or not, and if not, you can change your mind any time.
It's about what works for you, and not what others say.
... (read in full...)
Would you block someone for being strange even if you knew them?
Q. Years ago now I had communication with a guy who asked basically to have sex and/or hang out. We stopped talking and i forgot why until finding the old messages more recently but i messaged him a while ago and he ended up blocking me on facebook ...
A. 20 February 2021: I agree. I think the reason he blocked you is because you were a casual fling he had years ago, and has long since moved on with his life. As suggested, he might have a family of his own now, in which case it would be totally inappropriate to renew ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to masturbatein front of me
Q. How can I get my husband to masterbate in front of me. Hes gotten more comfortable with the idea and will now do it for a like 30 seconds then he stops and we have sex...but I want him to do it untill he finishes so I can see him climax and his c...
A. 16 February 2021: You know, if a man asked this question about his girlfriend, we would call it sexual harassment.
I agree, leave him be. He's not going to get over being shy about it, so get over this unhealthy obsession and stick to what you already enjoy.
... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend doesn't know how to be in a relationship
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year now. This is his first real relationship and we live together. We are passed the honeymoon phase. He used to text me all the time, now I hear from him 2-3 times during the work day. He is really into ...
A. 14 February 2021: My husband and I only exchange 2, maybe 3 texts a day, and those are good morning, enjoy lunch and home soon. Unless we're both slow that day or something unusual is happening.
We're busy working so not really into texting. Besides, we live toge... (read in full...)
Is this normal for someone who stopped speaking and just block you on one thing and keep on other stuff ?
Q. Hi everyone. I'm not really asking for help just seeing If anyone else has had this happen I was with this guy for 5 months last year who I found out he has a trust issue and holds a barrier up if he gets too close to someone Anyway cut long s...
A. 14 February 2021: I think you're reading too much into this. He likely forgot to block you on those sites.
I wouldn't wait to see how long it takes him to block you. Why play these games with yourself? Block him and move on. ... (read in full...)
Is this appropriate conversation between a father and daughter?
Q. do you think its appropriate for dad to tell his adult daughter in her twentys that he use to change her diapers and when he gets older she can change his ...
A. 13 February 2021: I agree with the others. He likely did change your diapers, at least once in a while, and I suspect it was said in jest.
Frankly, I think even asking this question is a bit ridiculous. ... (read in full...)
My g/f is Muslim we are hiding it from our families. How do go about bringing us into the open?
Q. I have been dating a girl for a few months. We met online through a dating app. I feel like she is everything that I have been searching for in a partner. I realize that our relationship is still very young and of course there is still time for ...
A. 12 February 2021: Her parents will know you've had some sort of association before your introduction. Common sense will tell them their daughter didn't just bring in a man she's just met off the street.
If you go in with a guilty conscience, her parents might pi... (read in full...)
My ex treats me like a friend with benefits
Q. When you and your guy break up after years of being in a relationship. Why would the ex boyfriend say he wants to be friends, yet when HE wants sex then he’s all over me trying to get some and that’s ok to happen. But other times when he’s over my ...
A. 9 February 2021: You're no longer a girlfriend. You're not even a friend with benefits. You're just a hook up.
There is nothing confusing about this.
He wants sex when HE wants it, not when you want it.
Time to move on.
... (read in full...)
My g/f is Muslim we are hiding it from our families. How do go about bringing us into the open?
Q. I have been dating a girl for a few months. We met online through a dating app. I feel like she is everything that I have been searching for in a partner. I realize that our relationship is still very young and of course there is still time for ...
A. 7 February 2021: So, your girlfriend's parents' preferences are to be accommodated while your parents' are to be corrected.
Her parents are 'easy going about most things' despite wanting their daughter to marry one of their own, while your parents are 'ignoran... (read in full...)
I cried during a film and he handed me a box of Kleenex
Q. Hi. Would this bother you? My boyfriend and I were watching a movie a few days ago. I cried during one scene as it reflected a situation I had gone through in my real life. All my boyfriend did was hand me a box of kleenex. He didn't say anything, ...
A. 1 February 2021: It doesn't sound cold to me.
I'm not overly emotional myself, and the odd time I do feel sad, I really don't want anyone fussing over me. It's just annoying.
Getting mad at him for something like this is a stretch, I think. ... (read in full...)
How do I respond without putting him off? I'm not sure if he just wants a casual relationship
Q. I met a guy at work around a year ago for a few weeks - we saw each other around a few times. Nothing more too it. He added me on Facebook the other week and we have really hit it off , chatting non stop, very interested in my life etc ,obviou...
A. 19 January 2021: I agree with the recommendation not to pursue anything with a colleague, but as it will likely come up again with another man, you could respond with something like:
'I can understand that. I'd prefer to take things slowly and see where they lea... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have experience with anyone with narcissistic rage?
Q. Thank you for any help offered. People are busy so it is appreciated. I have a friend who I have been or now had been friends with for several years. She has been through a bad time of late having lost custody of her daughter due to mental h...
A. 14 January 2021: Since she has already reported you to the school board, then I think your response it totally appropriate. At this point you could leave allow her the opportunity to leave a few more nasty, abusive messages, but you probably don't need to. Wh... (read in full...)
Should I keep their affair a secret?
Q. My ex-wife had an affair with one of our best friends. It was very physical, and they exchanged a lot of sex talk and intimate photographs of each other which i still have. When i discovered the affair i copied as much as i could as it went alo...
A. 13 January 2021: Keep it a secret.
In fact, unless you have some legal reason for holding on to their intimate photos and correspondence, I would destroy them.
Your kids deserve to enjoy their friendships unburdened by the misdeeds of their parents.
His... (read in full...)
My long distance husband keeps asking for money
Q. My husband and I have been together 4 years. For the most part it's pretty good except for money. He relies on me too much to take care of things financially. I should mention hes been back and forth we don't live together as a married couple ...
A. 13 January 2021: Agreed. The words 'Green card scam' were running through my mind like a digital news ticker.
This IS all about money for him. And at 36-40 years old, you should be wise enough to see him for what he is.
He shouldn't be 'contributing' t... (read in full...)
How do you politely get out of a one-sided conversation?
Q. I'm currently living with my adult brother and 70-year-old father due to the lockdowns, and have been since March. Being in close proximity to each other has made some issues really obvious. A huge one is that my dad talks all the time about things ...
A. 13 January 2021: Think of constructive criticism like a painful vaccination. Necessary sometimes, but they can be very painful. Thankfully the latter only lasts a few seconds. Try doing that with the first one.
With people like your dad you have to be blunt an... (read in full...)
Male compliments female co-worker. Does he feel he can trust her not to take it out of context?
Q. Okay, speaking hypothetically here. You have a male and female who are coworkers. They are friendly but not friends. They don’t hang out outside of work, but they are the ones who turn to each other with work problems and sometimes personal issues. ...
A. 13 January 2021: Agreed, it's just a compliment. Your colleague told you he likes your style. Nothing more to read into it than that, at this point.
However, I would tone down the flirting. You may both be decent people, but you're as human as anyone else and you'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's strange actions have made me totally lose interest in him
Q. Okay.... I started dating this guy for a year. He lives at home with his Parents he’s 30 he has a son and he’s going through a divorce. This weekend I went to his house. I saw a lot that I didn’t see before. His mom babies him and he just h...
A. 13 January 2021: He's a tosser.
I'm a private person myself and we didn't go about undressed or barely dressed, and I understand some families are a bit more...laid back where that is concerned.
My issue is that he lives with his parents, his mother babies hi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend finally proposed after 15 years and now I'm not sure if I want to marry him
Q. Please could I get some advice on my love life? I'm so torn, basically i've waited years for my boyfriend to propose, in fact i'd more or less given up on the idea and emotionally exited the relationship but now he's suddenly decided he wants...
A. 11 January 2021: Your boyfriend proposed because he sensed you losing interest. He pulled b ack when you were too hungry. now that you've pulled back, he's pursuing you. Maybe you should be this way in any relationship-let them pursue you.
I don't think you're b... (read in full...)
My girlfriend has too much time on her hands and its driving me crazy
Q. Hi there I wrote before about my girlfriend always wanting to talk on the phone and text. I had a discussion with her and she said she would try not to be so clingy. Unfortunately that didn't go far. Today she said I don't message much a...
A. 11 January 2021: Let her freak out. It's high time this woman had a taste of what it means to be outside your grace.
People like her, these self absorbed people who care nothing about the needs and boundaries of others, lure their victims in by pretendi... (read in full...)
Trouble with a friend who borrows money and won't pay it back
Q. Hello So, my friend seems to have money issues. I don't mind helping out sometimes but recently I found out after I borrowed 200.00 a mutual friend also gave 200.00 so I sort of expected mine back. However, she said shes broke and needs it. A...
A. 10 January 2021: This is a simple problem with a simple answer.
Whatever funds you've already loaned her, write it off in your mind. Assume you'll never see it again, and when she blocks you, block her and keep it that way.
She can't manipulate you i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has stayed friends with all of his exs on social media
Q. I'm looking for advice and trying to figure out if I'm being paranoid or not haha. Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together 2 years, live together, have a dog and want a family. We are in love and happy most of the time... Except when it comes ...
A. 10 January 2021: As I often do, I agree with Honeypie.
You can't decide, for him or anyone, what is right or wrong and what they or can't do. You can only decide what you're prepared to live with.
I don't think this is something you can live with, and I don'... (read in full...)
Should I feel like a slut?
Q. Should I feel like a slut?? Ok backstory, I (16/F) I met this guy (16/M) that was attractive and I wanted to get to know him. For a good week we would see each other every day and play basketball and exchange glances. At one point it was night and...
A. 25 December 2020: I agree with your dad. I don't see you as a slut, but more as a foolish young girl desperate to please. This is not something you should define yourself by, but learn from.
The minute a guy asks for a blow job, or any other sexual favour, the conv... (read in full...)
We broke up and now I'm not invited to the wedding where my daughter is to be the bridesmaid
Q. Hi I broke up with my partner in June and moved out as he wouldn’t we are still on speaking terms and get on better now than we did we have 3 children it was my birthday last week and his family didn’t even get me a birthday card I still get on ...
A. 25 December 2020: I think your daughter should be bridesmaid whether you're invited to the wedding or not. If she chooses not to, it should not be based on what you think or feel about it.
If this break up is fairly recent, then everyone will need some time to ... (read in full...)
How to say no to a friend?
Q. How to say no to a friend? My childhood friend wants to come for Christmas with his new bf. Due to the COVID pandemic, this is not OK with my husband and me. Otherwise we would be happy to have have them stay with us over the holidays. My ...
A. 28 November 2020: I second Honeypie's advice to go with the autoimmune explanation.
... (read in full...)
Am I the bad guy or did I do the right thing?
Q. I graduated uni this year and am leaving town at the end of next week.. I dated a girl during second year of uni, and then it was going badly/she was being shady and flaky and talking to HER ex (she slept with him after we broke up, and also went on ...
A. 5 September 2020: You did the right thing and you acted with class. She behaved badly back then and being a woman doesn't give her some protected status.
Chin up. Well done! And please keep your distance from her. Maybe she'll learn something from this and make... (read in full...)
It's SO NOT FAIR that he gets to deduct from child support whenever he wants and says I'm taking advantage of him! I'm SO UPSET!
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm feeling quite sad and upset tonight. Seeking some advice on how to process what I am feeling and/or what to do about it. I wrote for advice a month ago (I think) about this topic, but at that time it was focused on how my daughter ...
A. 5 September 2020: I'm going to take a different view here. I think $1200 is rather high.
If you're struggling this hard then it's time to review your budget.
Kids don't need the absolute best of everything all the time. Do you want them to stress themselves o... (read in full...)
My partner did some work for me and I thought he's give me a break on the cost but he didn't
Q. I have been with my partner for 10 years, we live together.The relationship is a bit rocky. He is a builder. I own a rental flat that needed some work doing to it. He did the work and has now sent me an invoice for his labour, for quite a large sum ...
A. 14 August 2020: I'm of the same mind as some of the others, that you should have agreed to a price before the work was started, and not expect him to help you profit at his own expense.
As one or two of the other aunts have pointed out, it would be differen... (read in full...)
I think I screwed up with friends and don't know how to fix it
Q. Guys I'm really upset as think I screwed up with some friends They've recently started a new role and I put some complimentary comments on LinkedIn but they have said the company think it's weird I was commenting even tho it was all very complim...
A. 14 August 2020: Agreed. You might want to reconsider some of the comments you make on Facebook as well. Just because something is meant to be complimentary, does not mean it is helpful or appropriate.
Compliments can also embarrass people.
Delete the po... (read in full...)
Girl I Dated Months Ago Is Gossiping And Trying To Start Nasty Rumours About Me
Q. Well, semi ex gf. We dated and she kept insisting she wanted a relationship though I wasn't sure because she was really flaky and kept cancelling and rescheduling on me, provoking me by telling me how much of a handful she was, insulting me and ...
A. 9 August 2020: I'd ride this one out. The woman, as you observed very early on, is unstable, and lacking in character and maturity.
Reduce the times you might bump into her, remain calm, and let her spend herself. She will eventually exhaust herself and anno... (read in full...)
Am I high maintenance or what?
Q. Hi everyone I had a date tonight that i just feel confused about. Would love to unpack with you all and get information. A guy I've had 2 dates with already invited me to his friends' "party". I was told it was saturday and assumed it would be ...
A. 9 August 2020: Ghost him.
I agree with your assessment of him, acting like you've been married 10 years and at a couples' function.
If he does reach out, be polite and formal (the way you would with a stranger). If you end up having a discussion about... (read in full...)
My married lover broke it off and is now trying to have sex with his asexual wife!?
Q. My married lover broke off our 5 year relationship after his wife saw some messages exchanged between us. We are still in touch. But he has now told me he attempted to have sexual relations with her last night and failed. He's always maintained the ...
A. 9 August 2020: I don't know why I even bothered reading this, and I drew the line at your first question asking why he's trying to have sex with his wife.
His marriage and what he does in it are none of your business.
He didn't betray you. You tried to ins... (read in full...)
My husband said he would slap me if I did that again
Q. Please advise My husband and I went for a hike yesterday with hope we would be able to socially distance. We wore our masks of course. As he was studying the trail map another man (masked) came and stood next to him also wanting to look at the m...
A. 9 August 2020: I'm with your husband on this one.
If you'd shouted at me, then shoved me I WOULD have slapped you. And there would be no apology.
I suspect you're very sensitive on every point.
The way you process it is you accept that there are li... (read in full...)
I think we might break up. How do I cancel on boyfriend's birthday
Q. Hi all, I need advice! How should I cancel on my boyfriend. His birthday is on Friday. He is divorced and moved back in with his parents he has a son with his ex. She text him last week saying she wanted to get back with him! Since then he’s...
A. 17 July 2020: Just say what you said here.
That was pretty rude and brazen of him to ask about gifts.
Send him an email that you won't be coming, it seems he's getting back with his ex, and wish him the best.
Then block and delete.... (read in full...)
How does agreeing to coffee or a walk suddenly change direction like this?
Q. A good friend passed away last year. It was very unexpected. Her husband [widower, I think you call him] contacted me yesterday afternoon and asked if I would like to go out sometime. I was pleasantly surprised and told him I would. Now today...
A. 10 June 2020: My opinion, I don't think you should ask him what he meant. Contacting him after this message is badgering him.
He lost his wife, and suddenly, so he's still grieving. His message is not about what he thought you wanted, but a realisation of what ... (read in full...)
I need tips for dealing with the mother of my ex!
Q. My ex boyfriend of 3.5 years broke up with me almost two months ago, and his mom keeps contacting me. Why would she do it? I always had the feeling she didn't like me during the first years we were together as we have very different views ...
A. 3 June 2020: If she's in another country, it should be easy enough to block her, and change your privacy settings on any social media accounts.
If you don't want to cut her off so suddenly, then you could gradually increase the time it takes you to respond,... (read in full...)
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