A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Guys I'm really upset as think I screwed up with some friendsThey've recently started a new role and I put some complimentary comments on LinkedIn but they have said the company think it's weird I was commenting even tho it was all very complimentary and have done it before previous and no issuesI texted one of them a few nights ago and they didn't reply Is there any way to fix thisPlease be kind I'm really upset over this
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI messaged one of my friends the other day & they replied & we're arranging a future drink
Looks like things will be ok
Thank you everyone x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to all esp Cindy & wise owl
You couldn't even imagine how stupid & low I feel
It's been over a week
I sent a sincere apology & nothing
I really feel bad
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2020): I think you're trying too hard to score points with these so-called friends. It's quite unusual that LinkedIn would be chosen for the purpose of complimenting people; when it is obviously a site for professional and career social networking, and not a place for making shout-outs to your peeps and pals.
You call them friends, and it would seem you're doing all you can to ingratiate yourself; intending to seek their validation and approval. It would have been overlooked as a simple faux pas by people who love and appreciate you. Unless this is the final-straw, after a host of other gaffs or mistakes. Good and true-friends are forgiving; and don't just ignore you. They'd work it out.
It's been a week and no response? Then let them go! They're petty and unforgiving! It seems you may have no choice; they may have decided to let you go. You'll live!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (18 August 2020):
 Curious, OP, how you keep insisting that you posted nothing gushy, nothing personal... sort of implying that you did nothing wrong. As if you could not wrap your head around the fact that alas yes , you DID screw up this time, you posted something in the wrong venue ,causing embarassment to your friends. I agree that your
" friends " seem to be rather uptight , or maybe they aren't such good friends as you believe; I think a good friend could forgive such a minor
mistake, made with the best of the intentions.
Anyway, you can't unscramble an egg ,right ? You apologized. You delete your posts ( hopefully ). You did what you could to fix it. Let them stew over your oversight a few more days, in case they are still mad- and if they do not calm down and get in touch, then your best bet is to move on and make new friends , the ones you've got are too touchy !
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2020): This all sounds so childish. Clearly you never employed them, you are trying to get into their good books by praising them and kidding yourself this is doing them some sort of favour - like fake reviews on Amazon. You cannot see that instead of helping them it makes them look as though they have posted these spammy things themselves and makes them look non professional. If you want to get closer to someone do it the normal way, as a friend would with a friend, not trying to buy their appreciation and friendship by supposedly doing them favours... especially favours that make them look worse rather than better. Next time you get a bright idea offer and ask if they want it before you do it. But friendship and business do not mix.It is interesting that you posted things on a website about other people without them asking you or giving you the go ahead, but then on here you think you can tell us what we can and cannot say!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (15 August 2020):
 It's still not the right place to put such comments, OP
Keep that for Facebook and Instagram and such, sites that are MADE for this. While you say it wasn't personal, it also wasn't appropriate.
Just delete it and learn from this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's been over a week since I apologised
Heard nothing
The only complimentary comments were they were brilliant at their jobs & respected them a lot
They haven't replied to my apology
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe only comments I actually made was I respected them a lot & they were brilliant at their jobs
Along those lines
Nothing personal etc
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2020): If you can delete the comments, then just remove them. You can forward private IMs directly to the contact; but you should mind sending unbusinesslike personal-communications over websites that are specifically designed for business and recruiting purposes. I don't really think it was the company, I think it was your friends who were put-off by it.
Employers and prospective-employers review your credentials, job-skills, employment-history, and educational background on the LinkedIn site. There is no place or relevance of compliments regarding the subscribers; although you may send short messages to your contacts. Being mindful of the content. LinkedIn is designed for career and business-professionals to have a means to connect. Offering compliments is taking it's purpose out of context. It's not that kind of social network.
I don't think this rises to such a measure as not speaking to you. I can't imagine how weird it could be that it would draw such concern from an employer. I guess I would have to read your comments. You didn't offer them to us, so who knows? I'm also scratching my head...why would an employer address an employee regarding comments they didn't make on LinkedIn? Or any at all, for that matter?!! That's rather peculiar.
What's done is done. I don't really understand why you were compelled to use the site for sending personal-messages outside of the social media norms? It was inappropriate, but not a disaster. Perhaps your friends will recover from their embarrassment, and come to their senses. Meanwhile, don't fret over such petty nonsense. There is little you can do about it; if they are given to overreacting and dramatics. They'll get-over it, and you'll just have to find new friends if they don't.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2020): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi guys
Thank you for replying
I feel bad enough as it is
They weren't really gushy remarks but I was highly praising them
I'm so upset
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (14 August 2020):
It is inappropriate , and if not " weird " , at least it is unusual, to put personal comments , complimentary ot not, on Linkedln , which is a platform for professional networking, and the fact that in the past other people chose not to comment does not mean that it's a good idea and everybody would be happy about it.
Then again, this is just a minor " faux pas ", it's not that by posting compliments you have ruined forever these people's reputataion and chances for success ! Just delete your comments,let them jnow that you did , and leave it at that. You apologized already, and if your friends cannot get over something of such relative importance, maybe they are not real friends after all.
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A
male
reader, kenny + ♥, writes (14 August 2020):
 Yes linkedIN is for work, maybe you should have put what you wrote on facebook, or WhatsApp or something like that.
I think this will show how good friends they really are. You have already sent an apologetic text and received no reply. I would refrain from sending another.
You made the comment, its done, its pointless dwelling on it now, you can't unscramble scrambled eggs. The good thing about life is impermanence, nothing lasts forever and things blow over in the natural course of time.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (14 August 2020):
 Agreed. You might want to reconsider some of the comments you make on Facebook as well. Just because something is meant to be complimentary, does not mean it is helpful or appropriate.
Compliments can also embarrass people.
Delete the post.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 August 2020):
Go delete it.
LinkedIN is for WORK not for social commentary or compliments. POTENTIAL employers of these people will see this and they don't need to see YOUR compliments. UNLESS!!! You at some point where their boss and the compliment was in regards to work ethics, skills, effort etc.
Keep those kind of sweet praises to social media or in person. Because it IS weird to use LinkedIN as if it was Facebook.
You are OLD enough to know better.
Delete it and let them know. If they still don't reply, move on, make new friends. If they can't handle this (as odd as it may see) how good friends are they to begin with?
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