My partner says we should be having sex 4 times a day
Q. My partner of 11 yrs told me we should be having sex four times a day. I don't think that's very realistic. Is it time to release him to seek other people who want to spend the time he wants in sexual activity?...
A. 20 October 2019: He sounds dull, so I'd say it might be time to let this one go.
... (read in full...)
Could you explain his behaviour?
Q. Theres a guy at work who I initially fancied. We flirted quite a lot and he seemed like a nice guy. I thought he was really into me as the signs were obvious. However these past few weeks he seems to have changed. He still flirts (a lot) but he ...
A. 14 October 2019: Once he sensed you might be serious about him, he's putting some distance between you, but it's more than that. If he was just trying to keep you at bay, he would stop the flirting and possibly hint about being interested in someone else, in a ... (read in full...)
The Guy I'm Dating Apparently Abused His Ex Girlfriend. Should I Dump Him?
Q. So I met this guy on Tinder and I've been for a drink with him. It went pretty well and he's really attractive TBH (tall, dark, handsome, muscular, works in IT which I also do.) There are a few things about him that bug me a bit like it takes ag...
A. 14 September 2019: You don't know for a fact that she was abused, or was even referring to him.
That's not what got my attention. It was your description of his behaviour in your second paragraph. 'If you're charming enough' and 'I hope you're good company'... (read in full...)
Is what is happening to me financial abuse?
Q. Would you call this financial abuse? I go to work and support my husband who has little respect for me anyway. He also pressures me to sometimes support his parents as he so desperately wants to please them, even though they are just using him and ...
A. 18 August 2019: Continue with the divorce proceedings, but keep quiet about it. Don't give him or any of that bunch a chance to sabotage you. Change important passwords & security questions, secure your finances and anything else of value.
Consult an attorney... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend about these men obsessing over me and stalking me at college?
Q. I am feeling really overwhelmed because I feel like I have no one to talk to about this, not even my therapist knows what to do, so please read me, please! and give me your advice. I am in college studying art and in a long term relationship. I have ...
A. 22 July 2019: First, NO, I do not think you should discuss this problem with your boyfriend. It will only give him more to worry about, which in turn will make you miserable.
I'm going to take a different tack here.
It's possible that your boyfriend is not... (read in full...)
He quickly gives offers of help but wont do paid work for me.
Q. I became friendly with a guy who did work for me. We became friends on facebook so I suppose lost the trader/customer boundary. However he has let me down a few times now but if I have posted about needing something ie a code checker for my car or ...
A. 21 July 2019: Those are quick easy favours as opposed to work which tends to be more involved.
Also, while being paid for services rendered can be liberating for many as it keeps the boundaries clear and frees folks of being indebted, for some it creates ... (read in full...)
I'm off to a spa weekend by myself, my boyfriend didn't want to come and he wants to stop me going too!
Q. I have booked myself a spa break in a classy hotel as a treat and my boyfriend is saying its a dodgy place to go in a hot tub with strangers in a bikini for a woman. He kept saying men could try and chat me up. I don't understand this Im going ...
A. 21 July 2019: Yeah, it seems to be a thing now, like baby showers.
Not wrong at all. He's allowed to be annoyed and you're allowed to be ok with it.
Go, relax and enjoy yourself. ... (read in full...)
I'm single and pregnant, despite complications with the baby the father doesn't want to know about us.
Q. So I was dating a guy for 2 months, going really well then he ended the relationship due to the fact he didn't like the fact I have children, 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant with his child, (implant broke) he said when he found out he ...
A. 21 July 2019: There is nothing 'hormonal' about being upset that the man you're with is on dating sites. So don't be so quick to write off valid grievances as some kind of womanly weakness.
The complaint is valid, even if the way it was expressed was ineffect... (read in full...)
I've really had enough of my lazy partner
Q. Hi what do you do when your partner is so lazy we both work he is a labourer and I am a carer we’ve been together for 5 years we have a 3 year old son I came home from work this afternoon been up since 5am came home hoovered the house dusted ...
A. 14 July 2019: You have more than enough on your plate, working, raising a child, and running a household to be chasing after a grown man to do his chores as if he were a 10 year old boy.
You're already exhausted. What you need is LESS to do, not more.
Unde... (read in full...)
Why is there so much pressure for women to stay youthful?
Q. As I am getting older I’m finding that outside influences make me conscious of my aging and like there is somehow something wrong with me or less attractive about me because I’m a woman getting older. It seems that every se one ad on is about how to ...
A. 30 June 2019: I suspect you've relied on your looks a little more than you're willing to admit to yourself. My own experience has been quite different. I love getting older. I'm in no hurry to be 90, but I would not go back to being in my twenties. I'm tr... (read in full...)
My husband's behaviour towards my daughters has grown terrible
Q. I’ve been with my husband for 8 years. We have a 3 year old child together and I have two girls from a previous relationship ages 9 and 10 who don’t see their biological dad. When my husband and I first got together he was excellent with my girls an...
A. 30 June 2019: OP, it's a bit late, but I'm going to add my two cents anyway, and I'm going to take a different tack.
Keep it simple, because at the end of the day, this is a simple problem. It's not an easy one, mind you, but it is a straightforward one.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very casual about his daughters' privacy and I find it very very odd
Q. Ive been seeing a guy who's super awesome. We're both single parents of two girls each. They stay the night frequently. My girls are 9 and 13, his are 9 and 11. Despite having lived in an all girl house for the last 5 years or so, my daughters and ...
A. 19 May 2019: Your boyfriend's involvement in bathing his daughter and checking on them while they're using the washroom is weird.
I'd be hard pressed to find any culture in which men practiced this with their daughters. In societies all over the world througho... (read in full...)
Just found out he cheated the entire relationship. Should I give him chance?
Q. I have been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years now. Our families have meshed and we've gone on many trips together, have gone through many experiences and have even told each other I love you half a year into our relationship. He lives on...
A. 12 May 2019: You're 33 now and have already invested 3 years into this relationship.
Do you want to be back here at age 43, asking the same question, having invested 13 years?
He may love you. He may want to build a life with you, but he also wants the f... (read in full...)
My partner is giving his children extra money and I'm not happy about it
Q. So I have been with a man for a little over 2 years now. He has two children from a previous marriage. He pays child support for these children. Everyone gets along, there are no hard feelings about anything. On the children's most recent ...
A. 29 April 2019: What kind of father would the man be if he never paid a cent over what he was court ordered to pay?
Can you imagine a father who provided food, shelter, clothing, but absolutely NOTHING else? No glasses, no braces, no school lunch money, nothing ... (read in full...)
Can't understand why my lesbian g/f would be taking birth control for the sole purpose of not getting pregnant
Q. I'm struggling how and if to bring this up with my partner as I want to be sensitive and not offend her, I'm not sure if I'm getting red flags or being paranoid. My girlfriend and me are in a long distance relationship. She is having some birt...
A. 19 April 2019: If she's the hyper organized, 'prepare-for-everything' type, she might be taking them on the slim chance that she's raped or something.
Otherwise I don't see the point, but I doubt she's cheating on you. She was open and honest about it.... (read in full...)
Are these warning signs after a second date? Should I give it a go or run?
Q. Hi all, I am mentally quite stuck and would really appreciate some advice. A bit of background. I am 35 years old and have had 2 relationships in my life. One for 3 years from the age of 24 and one for 6 years from the age of 28. Both were fl...
A. 13 April 2019: It's your intuition and plain common sense telling you to be wary.
She's unstable and has vague boundaries. Passionate, quick to judge, and present herself as a victim. Don't be too quick to believe the rape stories. I'm not saying they're ... (read in full...)
I have no clue what I did wrong and don't want to ask because I'm afraid it will make her even more angry
Q. Me and this girl we have been together for a while and recently went through a rough patch. We are slowly getting through it but today something happpened that has really confused me. We were talking on Snapchat when she said something that annoyed ...
A. 26 March 2019: Similar to what's been said, I would ignore it, and ignore her. There was nothing wrong with what you said or how. This is just her way of keeping you on your toes and in 'penance mode'.
Let her reach out to you when she's in a better mood and... (read in full...)
I broke up with my violent boyfriend, he wants the ring back but I paid for it!
Q. I have just broken up with my boyfriend of twenty years due to his violent behaviour. the thing is he says he wants the ring he bought me back which is expensive but I feel like in all fairness I have paid for the ring as I gave the cost of the ring ...
A. 24 February 2019: You're determined to keep this chapter of your life open as long as possible over a ring?
Give him the damn ring back and be done with it, for Pete's sake.
... (read in full...)
Somebody keeps hacking my boyfriend or is he cheating?
Q. I keep finding my boyfriend on multiple dating/cheating sites and find his search history is filled with things like: Women near me to have with tonight? I have asked him about it and he says he didn't do it. Tat someone is hacking him. Is that ...
A. 24 February 2019: He's lying.
Why would a hacker try to set him up with hot women instead of emptying his bank account?
... (read in full...)
What is more important for a long term relationship: sexual attraction or comapnionship?
Q. The last two relationships I was in were with two very different types of people. One was with a guy who flirted with me from the day we met, and who I was strongly attracted to. Once we broke the ice we couldn't keep our hands off each other. The ...
A. 3 February 2019: Considering we spend more time out of bed than in it, I'd say companionship.
... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants his Playstation
Q. Hellooo Everyone, I'm going to try and keep this simple. My boyfriend and I were meant to be going to visit his family for the weekend. On Saturday, I will be home alone for about 7 hours while everyone goes and watches a football game ...
A. 2 February 2019: You're right. It's HIS PlayStation, which he has donated, in a sense, for use among his flatmates. He doesn't have to loan it to you and it was selfish and childish of you to demand it.
Yours isn't the only relationship in his life that matters.... (read in full...)
Were my in-laws out of line or did my brother overreact to an innocent question?
Q. My in-laws have a problem with boundaries and they are kind of are drama queens. My younger brother on the other hand is more of a private person. So my wife and I had a six month old baby. On Christmas Day, we all had our families over (m...
A. 2 February 2019: I'm going to go against the grain here and side with your brother. He could have been more delicate in his response but then your in laws could have shown better manners. We've had a number of people on the receiving end of these types of questio... (read in full...)
Why is he so reluctant to move in together?
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months is reluctant to move in together. We have discussed it and he has said that he wants to, in the next year. But when I try to talk about it he gets grumpy and seems uninterested and irritated. For example, I had to go home ...
A. 23 January 2019: I agree with the others and I would take it a step further and suggest you spend less time in his home.
If he wanted a roommate, he'd have one. If he wanted you to move in, he'd have invited you to by now. He lives alone because he likes his own ... (read in full...)
Do I have to tell him to delete my number from his little black book?
Q. Hi , I met a guy online just one time . He didn’t mention to meet me again but some times he text me . I am not native English speaker. A guy always texted me out of the blue. I think he wanted to contacted me as backup plan. Whenever I...
A. 23 January 2019: Any kind of response, even a rejection, is still paying attention to him. Ghost him. Block and delete him.
The fact that you didn't consider him worthy of an answer will say more than some desperate sounding message.
... (read in full...)
Before her pregnancy she would flirt all the time... now Nothing.
Q. Recently i changed job and got close to a girl here. She used to behave with me like she is my girlfriend. She is married but she even asked me to be her "Boyfriend" forever. We did heavy flirting and she also told me she'd kiss me when we go for ...
A. 1 January 2019: It means her life is going to change dramatically and her priorities have changed.
Your flirting is now just dirty and irritating to her so stop it.
Cut ties with her. She's not your friend and you were never hers.
... (read in full...)
I feel like the laughing stock because I want boundaries
Q. I'm wondering if this situation is worth breaking up over. Right now we're on the brinks because I'm mad about it. The guy I've been seeing for almost a year now is a hippie, I'm not, though i like to party with hippies sometimes. We had a brief ...
A. 1 January 2019: 'he said he's not cutting off his backup supply of pu**y if I'm not sure about us.'
That's as far as I got. I just couldn't read any further.
He's a loser. Toss him.
It should go without saying...block and delete. Treat him as though he d... (read in full...)
My girlfriend went behind my back and told my parents about our future plans. Am I right to be hurt?
Q. Hi everyone I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 2 years, the majority of this has been long distance (10 hour flight). We've been trying to find ways to close the distance and one way is to get married so i can sponsor her. I felt ...
A. 1 January 2019: I wouldn't be hurt by this, I'd be furious and I'd call off the wedding. At least for the foreseeable future.
First off, her rush to get married so you can sponsor her for entry into Britain is highly suspicious. If she can't obtain a VISA on ... (read in full...)
Accused of being antisocial for turning down a guy?
Q. My dad loves to accuse me of being anti social and saying "that's why you have no friends". We were at a friends place and there is a single guy there who I see a couple times a year. We aren't friends (acquaintances) and we do not share interests. ...
A. 30 December 2018: My advice is to stop telling them things, even conversationally. Too many people assume that when they're told things they're advice is wanted or expected.
You can't control what others do, only what you do, so don't give them opportun... (read in full...)
Male friend wants to discuss sexual fantasies ....he has a girlfriend!
Q. No, I am not looking to make him my boyfriend Just want to know if its normal for men with girlfriends to want to talk to their female friends about their sexual fantasies? he even asked if i had a boyfriend and when i asked why he said because...
A. 29 December 2018: If this guy was really a friend he would already know if you had a boyfriend. My friends did.
What you're describing is a just man you talk to and I can tell you he is not looking for platonic female friends.
Block and delete. No good can come... (read in full...)
Is ‘bird’ just slang for ‘woman’ or ‘girl’?
Q. When a guy calls you a bird is it just slang for woman/girl. I text a guy friend to rearrange meeting up as he wasn't feeling well and joked that it was nurses orders for him to get better and that I couldn't find a nurse in uniform emoji t...
A. 29 December 2018: I don't know why you didn't just Google it. ... (read in full...)
My abusive father has turned the family against us. Does anyone have any words of support/similar stories?
Q. Hi, Im just seeking stories of others if anyone has gone through something similar. It would be comforting to hear, as I know there is little to be done about my current family situation. Last year I decided to cut contact with my father due to hi...
A. 29 December 2018: This may have all happened last year but it's still very recent.
First of all, remember that you're free. You no longer have to humour anyone or swallow your anger for the sake of peace.
Those relatives who choose to keep their distance f... (read in full...)
My friend has been asking why she can't get a partner. Should I tell her what I think?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles! My friend recently started asking me seriously (up until now it was purely rhetorical) why she can't find a partner. Should I tell her what I think? It's just an opinion, I'm not a shrink. I'm afraid that she migh...
A. 29 December 2018: Yes, if she asks for your opinion and you think it's a sincere request then answer truthfully. She might be very upset by what you have to say, so keep it brief. Don't volunteer examples. Instead let her ask for clarification.
At the very least sh... (read in full...)
Should I even try to remain friends with her after the way she acted?
Q. The other day I went to dinner with my friend who I actually considered one of my best friend so we were having dinner and it w and We ordered our food and both of ours took a long time to come but hers came before mine and she ate hers and she ...
A. 27 December 2018: Cut her loose. No final goodbyes, no explanations, no drama. Just ghost her. Block and delete.
If you cross paths in public, be formal and courteous the way you would with any acquaintance. ... (read in full...)
Is my roommate pleasuring himself with my clothes?
Q. I have three roommates. Two of them, a man and a woman, are married. He doesn't give me the creeps or weird rape-y looks, and my gut feelings have always been spot-on in the past. However, this time, I think I have physical proof of sexual ...
A. 27 December 2018: Obviously we can't know for sure, but it's definitely suspicious.
I would handle it this way: tell others about it, innocently, and ask if they have noticed anything similar with their clothes. Don't speculate about what the substance is (ejacula... (read in full...)
Boyfriend buys another woman a puppy
Q. My boyfriend of five years ordered an unborn pedigree puppy for a female friend. She walks his dog when he is at work. During the time he sought out, and checked out breeders, I told him that I found this to be a highly inappropriate gift. During ...
A. 27 December 2018: Yeah, I agree about the dog breeders. There are already a lot of lost and abandoned animals. Anyway...
As Honeypie says, gifting a dog (or any animal) is not, in itself, a romantic gesture. Friends and relatives do the same. It's a bad idea in ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend refuses to use his sex toys with me
Q. Hi I'm having a sexual problem with my boyfriend any advice you could give would be helpful thanks.. My boyfriend never tells me what he likes in bed he always says he likes what we are doing.. The thing is I know he likes porn actually I think it...
A. 19 December 2018: You've been bullying and brow beating him to perform for you and trying to recruit your therapist and now strangers on the internet to join you, but HE'S the sex addict??
I agree, leave the man alone. What you're doing is called sexual harrassm... (read in full...)
I want to show him I care but I also don’t want to be a burden or an annoyance
Q. I was dating a guy for only 6 weeks. Things were going really well other than he wasn’t feeling good. Long story short, his symptoms have gotten worse and he’s not been working much and under going testing and imaging to see what’s wrong. So far, ...
A. 19 December 2018: 6 weeks of dating isn't really long enough for that kind of intimacy. He's not ready for you to see him like this and your not quite relationship is not strong enough to carry that load.
If it's been 2 or more months, as Honeypie says, then it'... (read in full...)
He asked me out as a joke but I said yes ... how do I face my friends?
Q. My crush asked me out as a joke and I said yes. I was sick the day after and I wasn’t at school. My friends texted me about it. Apparently he had told most of my friends. Now I have to go back to school. I don’t really like him a lot. I just ...
A. 2 December 2018: Just say you assumed he was joking and acted accordingly. Be very matter of fact. Do not keep defending yourself or explaining, it will look suspicious.... (read in full...)
Is this a sex addiction?
Q. Hello. I think I am sex crazed. I want to have sex all the time. When I get home from work. In the morning. When we are showering. And when we are out, all i think about is how I can't wait to go home and have sex. We are both extremely sex...
A. 2 December 2018: It doesn't sound like an addiction to me, just someone who has recently discovered something and can't get enough of it. The novelty will wear off eventually and you'll just enjoy it without being obsessed about it. ... (read in full...)
I work as a cam girl but don't want my boyfriend watching other cam girls
Q. I work as a cam girl on a website. This is actually my second job to make extra cash. My boyfriend was aware of this before we started dating. Few days back he thought that since I was working as a cam girl it made it ok for him to join one of t...
A. 2 December 2018: Yep. You are. It doesn't matter if your boyfriend knew of your second job before you began dating and it doesn't matter WHY you do it. What matters is you do it. There are plenty of other ways to make money besides the sex trade. Keep ... (read in full...)
Our sex is becoming just sexual gratification for his sordid fantasies!
Q. I need help. I'm concerned about my boyfriends sexual orientation/preference. We have been dating for 4 years now, as the 4 years have progressed his sexual habits have changed. He isn't tame , it's always got to be depraved , he's always got to ha...
A. 2 December 2018: My opinion is that you should stop having sex with him immediately. No weaning, no compromises. Just stop cold turkey. Tell him you find it all revolting. Keep it brief and very blunt.
Then silence.
Do not try to soften the blow or spare hi... (read in full...)
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