Do you think I was unfair?
Q. I recently had a break down in a relationship and am struggling with feelings of guilt and regret, I am 64 and my "boy"friend was same age. He was in rented lovely cottage in great location but very expensive, he had lost his property previous...
A. 4 March 2022: Good grief!
The man is far worse than I originally thought.
You handled this with class, OP, and you ABSOLUTELY did the right thing.
Well done!... (read in full...)
I don't want a relationship with my husband's parents right now
Q. My in laws made it a rule last year that I cannot come to their home, RV or Cabin without being vaccinated. His parents also said a lot of bad things about me in the past year very hurtful things. His parents didn’t want him to marry me. He moved an ...
A. 3 March 2022: I don't blame you for not wanting to have them in your life, and think you can give yourself some time.
Eventually though, I do think you should consider mending the bridge with them. They are family, and estrangement will put unnecessary pressure... (read in full...)
Do you think I was unfair?
Q. I recently had a break down in a relationship and am struggling with feelings of guilt and regret, I am 64 and my "boy"friend was same age. He was in rented lovely cottage in great location but very expensive, he had lost his property previous...
A. 3 March 2022: You did the right thing!
As I was reading your post, my gut began to clench thinking you would end up saying you'd sold your home, taken out a mortgage on a bigger one, then given up your job. Much to my relief you did not!
A life partner is ... (read in full...)
My husband sees nothing wrong with prostitution
Q. Hubby and I were chatting. We watched a program and it featured a prostitute. I asked if he would condemn a woman for her past if she was a prostitute before he met her. He said no he would not. He said if it was in her past and she no longer does ...
A. 24 February 2022: Something else I should add...
This was a casual hypothetic scenario that your husband is not likely to encounter. His answer reflects that. He may think/feel/act very differently if he was single, met the woman of his dreams, planned a lifelong... (read in full...)
My husband sees nothing wrong with prostitution
Q. Hubby and I were chatting. We watched a program and it featured a prostitute. I asked if he would condemn a woman for her past if she was a prostitute before he met her. He said no he would not. He said if it was in her past and she no longer does ...
A. 24 February 2022: I agree with the others. Not condemning someone for something they no longer do is not the same as condoning it.
A person might not judge someone who used to be an alcoholic, but that doesn't mean they agree with alcoholism.
... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 18 February 2022: Hi anonymous,
Prior to reading your post, I'd never heard of Churg Straus, so I Googled it and from what I've read I can only imagine how much pain you've been in. Over time it can wear you down physically, psychologically, and spiritua... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 17 February 2022: We love having you, Kenny. :)
... (read in full...)
Thank you to everyone
Q. We've all been through a lot these past two years, some more than others. We've had the pandemic, lockdowns, toxic news, job losses and business closures, personal tragedies and the like. During this, many people have given their time and energy ...
A. 16 February 2022: Same to both of you, thank you. :)
... (read in full...)
Why is my ex saying we did not have sex when I know we did
Q. I split up with my partner last year for a few months and despite messaging him he never responded. Fast forward I had a few drinks and actually don't remember leaving the pub I was in but I walked to his pub and all I can remember was standing in ...
A. 14 February 2022: I suspect he's afraid of being accused of rape, you having been drunk during it.
I'd stop asking. ... (read in full...)
Should I continue talking to the football manager, or leave it?
Q. Hi there Hope everyone is okay and your keeping yourself all safe from covid, the story begins and it’s not often about football. I love football, I’m a fan of the game and used to play when I was younger, and wasn’t that good but I still enjo...
A. 13 January 2022: I believe this is the third time you've submitted a question about this football manager, so you're already coming across as needy to me.
I can't find the other questions, or I'd have included links to them, but this situation sounds very familiar... (read in full...)
Things went downhill after I complimented her on her 'hour glass' figure
Q. I recently moved here from Scotland. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high-school teacher in her early 30s. We had been talking for a good half-hour and ...
A. 11 January 2022: Agreed on all of your points, female anon. It's nice to encounter someone who remembers that study.
You're right that everyone's gaze lingers longer on the female form than the male one, and about the body as a whole, not just its parts. ... (read in full...)
Getting involved with my yoga student
Q. Im a yoga teacher training and try to be a leader in the community. Slowly, I noticed him taking coy glances at me. He started asking many more questions and making more direct eye contact. When he looked at me, his gaze would soften. He began to...
A. 10 January 2022: Agreed. I wondered the same about this questions, but you never know. The discount sounds like a good idea.
... (read in full...)
A former colleague's sister contacted me to say I'd overstepped
Q. Hi aunts a female colleague who used to work at the company I work at, recently left to go back to university. while I was sad to see her go, I wished her good luck and we remained in contact for a few months. then out the blue, I get a message fr...
A. 10 January 2022: I agree with Honeypie's advice to keep copies of whatever conversations you still have as evidence.
As stated, there are a few possibilities here. One that the two of them are up to no good, another that the sister is acting independently of your ... (read in full...)
Things went downhill after I complimented her on her 'hour glass' figure
Q. I recently moved here from Scotland. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high-school teacher in her early 30s. We had been talking for a good half-hour and ...
A. 10 January 2022: I don't see this is as a man/woman issue, and I'm not seeing any misogyny here. I think the OP was simply a bit forward in offering ANY kind of opinion. The lesson is, even if you think your opinion is a compliment, keep it to yourself until y... (read in full...)
Is it possible my boyfriend's history of abuse could fuel his sexual tastes?
Q. My boyfriend always has to or wants to stick at least his fingers if not a vibrator in my anus to be able to get off. Why? I know a lil of his past history and he could have been abused in some way. Would something like that cause people problems...
A. 7 January 2022: I assume the reason you're asking this is because if it is rooted in prior abuse, once you solve the abuse issue, the sexual tastes will also be 'solved'. This will not happen. Whatever the cause he enjoys it and it causes him no harm or gri... (read in full...)
Have I already blown it with her?
Q. I'm really struggling with this girl I like. We've been on a few dates but because of how her last couple of boyfriends were with her she's got this impression that I'm the same and am gonna treat her like s*** basically. She's not said outright ...
A. 7 January 2022: I agree with Honeypie, and will add...
You're not even formally dating this woman and you're already in 'Penance Mode', which is a bad place to start in any relationship, romantic, platonic or professional.
Also, once you start this way, ... (read in full...)
Things went downhill after I complimented her on her 'hour glass' figure
Q. I recently moved here from Scotland. I met a really attractive and intelligent woman at a party a few weeks ago. It was a public event at an art gallery. She was a high-school teacher in her early 30s. We had been talking for a good half-hour and ...
A. 7 January 2022: It was very rude of you to offer any kind of unsolicited opinion about someone else's body. Even if you mean to be complimentary. She may have misunderstood your compliment as you suggest, but it's just as likely she was put off by how forward y... (read in full...)
Should I respond to my friend's comment about infidelity?
Q. Hi everyone, I was talking to a female coworker/friend last week. She is married. SHe was telling me about another woman's husband that we both know, who was cheating. My friend said he does his "extracurricular activities, but they all do.." I ...
A. 6 January 2022: No need to say anything. I would not encourage this woman to discuss her marital problems, assuming she has any, with you.
This is often how affairs start, so I wouldn't encourage those kinds of conversations.
... (read in full...)
People asking for money on social media
Q. Hello ?? Social media has been a good way to make new friends. I have made a couple of long lasting friendships, however, it's also frustrating when you talk to people and they seem to feel it's okay to ask for money. Most times it's men ...
A. 6 January 2022: The people asking you for money are not genuinely seeking friendship but lack proper manners, or are desperate enough not to care.
These are people seeking money, casting a wide net on social media in hopes of ensnaring people like you. They wan... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for wanting the games to stop?
Q. Have been having a few irritating games being carried out in our situationship. Just annoying. I felt I was being toyed with I said it must stop and now he is ignoring me and turning away when he comes near me. Am I being out of line expecting t...
A. 2 January 2022: There isn't much to go on here, so I'll answer in general terms.
If you have to ask/tell someone to stop playing games with you then they aren't the person for you.
You wouldn't tell someone to stop punching you in the face and stay with them, ... (read in full...)
How do I approach him about the question he wants to ask me?
Q. Hey everyone, I need some help, this might be a long one sorry! So I’ve met this boy online (Tinder) probably about 6/7 weeks ago now / Start of November last year. We have been talking every single day since then. He’s stayed at mine multiple times ...
A. 2 January 2022: Yep, what they said. ... (read in full...)
Why does husband sulk when he doesn't get his way?
Q. My husband sulks if he doesnt get his way .. its driving me mad .. he gave up work to start retraining in January ,which I admire as hes 48 ... hes always sulked but seems more now we are together more .. he buys rubbish off the internet just to put ...
A. 29 December 2021: I can understand wanting some time and space to cool off after an argument but if this is how he typically behaves after not getting his way, then I have to agree with the other poster's opinion that it's passive aggressive.
I imagine he isn't ac... (read in full...)
Should I forgive him after he admitted to watching porn?
Q. I don't even know where to start Me and my boyfriend / ex boyfriend had a lot of problems. I could never deal with his past but I kept trying. And 2 days ago he told me something new from his past, and I was so hurt that I only had one thought ...
A. 29 December 2021: If watching porn is a deal breaker for you, then I say forgive him, but move on.
He may be very fond of you, but I don't think he has the same 'boundaries' you do, and may be trying to squeeze himself in to your definition of a good man.
No m... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I haven't spoken in two weeks
Q. I have been with my partner over four years though we have had many ups and downs, primarily because I feel he doesn't want commitment. He says he is committed to me, wants no one else yet he doesn't want marriage and evades the topic of moving in ...
A. 27 December 2021: OP, unfortunately only the site owner can delete your question, and he hasn't been around lately.
... (read in full...)
Do I just not respond to text from friend? Its been a troubled relationship
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles ! First of all, thank you for the help and support you’ve given me over the years ! And I wish you all the best in the new 2022 ! Hopefully it will be much MUCH better than the previous two ?? Long story short – after DECA...
A. 21 December 2021: The fact that she lives in another continent makes this even easier.
IGNORE all calls, texts and messages from her, and any of her enablers. You don't have to make any announcements or declarations, just ignore them.
This fixation folks h... (read in full...)
How do I handle my controlling sister in law without damaging relationships?
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost seven years and together for almost 11. I've always had a good relationship with my in-laws...BUT. I have also always felt like I've had to tiptoe around his only sibling (a sister who is a year older ...
A. 21 December 2021: I suspect the problem is she is a bit controlling and you're a bit pliable, as Honeypie says.
For the Christmas suggestion, I would have simply said, you already have a gift for your in-laws, but thank her for the suggestion. Be upbeat, but don'... (read in full...)
Why would someone make a deep fake of my husband?
Q. My cousin sent me a link to a Facebook group she visits a lot, about things in the local area in her town, which is about 40 minutes drive from us. The link she sent me was a video of my husband cuddling another woman, who was wearing a bright...
A. 21 December 2021: Further to the advice given, besides what you secretly find out on your own, keep a copy of the video stored away as potential evidence (against your husband if it's real and against this person, whomever they are, if it's fake).
Besides that I w... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has allowed his ex girlfriend to move in with him
Q. Hey there! I got in a relationship 3 months ago with this amazing guy and I really like him. We have been spending all of our weekends together and have been on two trips. The relationship with him was going great until last month when he told me ...
A. 21 December 2021: I thought you handled this perfectly.
You haven't bad mouthed her or him, you haven't made any demands. You've been honest and clear about your own boundaries.
My suggestion is you stay the course. Having a platonic female friend move in w... (read in full...)
Is this the end of Dear Cupid?
Q. Is this site reaching the end of its life? Not to say that I want it to be but are we actually providing a genuine service to anybody any more? Back in the "good old days" we'd have a couple of hundred questions posted every month. Now we do...
A. 20 December 2021: The site is still running, and yes, questions and answers are still being moderated, but a number of the well established aunts/uncles had personal issues to deal with.
Then Covid struck and it seems the corridors around here are almost as empty... (read in full...)
My husband and I are going away for Christmas and its really upsetting my family
Q. I’ve made the decision to go away to Barbados with my husband for Christmas this year and it’s gone down like a lead balloon with my family. But the truth is every year something always kicks off in my family which spoils the whole holiday and I ...
A. 18 November 2021: I happen to like Piers Morgan.
As for your issue, I can relate. Most of our Christmas holidays have been monopolized by 2 people, one of them being my mother, who makes the same declarations about what Christmas is really about and how she's do... (read in full...)
My wife won't go topless at a nude brach
Q. my wife and I have been to nude beaches and she likes looking at nude men and I would like her to take herr top off but she refuses...I don't understand why...
A. 18 November 2021: Your wife may be working up the nerve. It may take her several visits.
She's there for what she wants, not what you want. Likewise with you, so just make the experience a relaxing and pleasant one for yourself. Nevermind what she or anyone e... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hired a maid to clean his house now can't afford her and wants me to pay
Q. Hello and thanks My bf and I have been together for a year. He hired a maid to clean his house and now can't afford to pay her. He asked if I could help. I don't even have a maid. I'm surprised, hes healthy and quite capable of cleaning his ...
A. 20 October 2021: Good for you! It sounds like you handled this perfectly, so there really isn't anything for you to do. You don't have to convince your boyfriend, and he doesn't have to like it. I would act normal around him, but if he's going to brood about... (read in full...)
My girlfriend in the hospital were the nurses talking to her in a sexual manner?
Q. Do u think my gf saying that in front of me was meaning it w a sexual undertone. She been in hospital for a week from the covid vaccine bs that gave her blood infection and she about died. But she almost done recovering. Or am I being paranoid...
A. 7 October 2021: I think brain fog is real. You need to get some sleep, possibly get out, reconnect with friends, or take up a hobby or something, or all of the above.
In my opinion their comment was a harmless joke and nothing sexual at all. Offering an adult... (read in full...)
My longtime friend blocked me because I couldn't pick him up from the airport?
Q. This is a friendship question. I've been friends with this guy since sixth grade and we're both currently 34 years old. He informed me this past Thursday he was flying in to the States where I just moved (he lives in Mexico) and and asked if I cou...
A. 7 October 2021: I'd say it was an overreaction.
He shouldn't have asked for a ride from the airport to begin with. If he can afford a plane ticket, he can spend the extra few dollars on a taxi. Airports are notoriously busy places, and parking a hassle. ... (read in full...)
Do you think I have a right to be upset at my husband for complimenting another woman in my presence?
Q. Is it normal for your husband to compliment another woman in front of you? For example, yesterday he told this acquaintance of ours in my presence that she looks like she is in good shape after we ran into her and her husband at the mall. I have put ...
A. 26 July 2021: I think he could have left it at 'you look great'. Adding that she was in great shape was a bit forward, regardless of whether or not you had gained weight.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is very clingy
Q. My new bf is really clingy. I'm 33 and he's 29 and I adore him but he is always needing to be touching me somehow, or hugging or kissing and k find it really overwhelming. I tell him and he gets upset or offended as if I don't like him when I say ...
A. 31 May 2021: Drop and block him. As was said already, this is not love, it's entirely selfish.
The more you care about how he feels the more he'll play you. Act as though you don't care, even if you have to rake it.
At this early stage people generally... (read in full...)
Should I try to pressure Jack into going to prom so he won't regret it later or just let him and his friends do their thing?
Q. My youngest son, Jack, is graduating from high school this year. He is refusing to go to prom. Instead, him and a group of friends are just meet up and do their own thing (they are talking about going bowling, than having a pool party at their ...
A. 29 May 2021: High school prom is frivolous really, and no you should not pressure him to attend.
Many people don't attend high school prom and don't seem to regret it. ... (read in full...)
My sister broke up with her boyfriend for a new guy and now I don't want to talk to her
Q. My sister 33 left her bf of 6 years in December. She didn't tell me they were having problems until after the breakup. Then she suddenly met someone else and was saying how happy she is. Her ex did so much for her so I stopped talking to her after ...
A. 29 May 2021: I don't see how it's any of your business whom your sister dates, and having met a person a couple of times hardly makes you an expert on that person.
Whatever the reason her past relationship broke down is none of your business. That you would al... (read in full...)
I found out my ex is a registered sex offender and don't know what to do with the information
Q. Hi dear cupid. In November last year I found out my then boyfriend is a registered sex offender and has seven years to go on the registry... I took a photo of the paper I found as evidence. he was never going to tell me... I walked ...
A. 27 April 2021: I agree with Honeypie.
... (read in full...)
Lack of care, or being over sensitive?
Q. Trying to cut a long story short. I have had various problems with my Heath since giving birth to my second child 7 months ago. Over the past few weeks I have been suffering with pain down below and this evening it was so bad I couldn’t move from ...
A. 12 April 2021: I don't think you're being overly sensitive either.
In future, it might be best to act as if you're a single mum and do what you can for yourself, and seek help from reliable family or friends.
My advice is to not to explain all this to him.... (read in full...)
Do I let my teenaged son know I seen him making out with his friend? Do I tell his dad?
Q. I have a son who is 14 year old son, Chris. He broke his leg and is on crutches. He is getting around okay on the crutches but I was worried about leaving him home alone, afraid that he would fall down, especially in the bathroom. Chris asked if...
A. 8 April 2021: Why do you need to talk to Chris about this at all?
What do you hope or expect to accomplish besides possibly embarrassing him? Chris and his friend would not trust you, they'd see that you have a big mouth.
No need to say anything to anyo... (read in full...)
After one date he starts asking about sexy pictures. I like him but the vibe has changed
Q. Happy Easter fellow agony aunts! So, I am in need of some advice of this guy that I have been speaking/ seeing... so here we go! I have been speaking to this guy for pushing on 4 weeks now, we met on “tinder” and if I’m being honest, at first...
A. 6 April 2021: Drop him.
Already looking for sexy pictures this early on tells me he isn't worried about offending you. VERY bad sign.
Politely move on. No drama, no long explanations. Just tell him the chemistry vanished when he asked for pictures, and do... (read in full...)
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