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My husband wants to quit his job as a university professor to work at McDonalds

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Question - (8 March 2021) 6 Answers - (Newest, 9 March 2021)
A female Australia age 51-59, anonymous writes:

We've been in Australia for 7 years now, and my husband works as a professor in a local university.

He told me three days ago he wants to quit his job so he doesn't have to work from home, and would prefer to work at the local McDonald's as "at least you can't work from home there!".

"No more Zoom meetings, no more work from home, all good, really!"

We moved here from California in late 2013, and life here is good, yes, we do both miss the U.S, but things are good here, we've got friends, our adult children come to visit every so often.

However, my husband told me he's not enjoyed the job as much since the coronavirus pandemic started and he feels working in McDonald's or a Subway store would give him a change of scenery.

But wouldn't that be illegal over here, for someone like him on a visa?

He's quite insistent about quitting his job and said "It's a good honest job, I NEED to do this!".

But, in reality, how many McDonald's would hire a 56-year-old to work behind the till or at the drive-thru, and isn't this a job stereotypically for young people?

I wonder if my husband is depressed, but he will NOT discuss it.

His quitting a job like this is not normal, and it's not like quitting for a job that's unrealistic.

I'm concerned over the whole thing, but he says he has to do this.

What would happen to our life / lifestyle if he did quit? I'm worried about finances etc.

Currently I don't work as I didn't need to when we lived in the US.

I'm concerned over the whole thing, it's making me stressed with worry.

What would you do in my situation?

Paula (name changed for anonymity)

View related questions: depressed, university

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (9 March 2021):

Honeypie agony auntI know of 3 very good high school teachers who have decided to "retire" early and start another career. One has been a teacher for almost 25 years. She is just done with the politics, the BS, and the lack of teaching kids critical thinking.

Now she isn't off to flip burgers, I think her new job will pay almost twice what her salary was as a teacher but she didn't switch for the money.

She LOVES working with kids and teens and she excelled in my books as an educator and a role model. It's a crying shame.

But I digress, your husband needs to use HIS critical thinking skills and figure out a few things, 1 - where does he stand with immigration/visa rules 2, can get support the both of you with this new McD job (or will YOU also have to start working and this ALSO need a work permit/visa).

I can only imagine how sucky it is to try and teach through Zoom. It's horrible. I have talked to both kids and teachers and they all hate it. My youngest says it's so much harder to pay attention when you sit and watch a teacher on a screen, it's harder to interact and stay focussed. I attended a Zoom call recently and for someone who is half deaf, it's hard. I can't read people's lips as easily as I can in person. The sound quality was sucky. I really understand who your husband feels the way he does. :(

Maybe he can look into doing this McD job on the side ( if legal with the Visa) until the Covis situation is over?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States + , writes (9 March 2021):

Fatherly Advice agony auntPaula asks, "But wouldn't that be illegal over here, for someone like him on a visa?"

Well that's an interesting question. I just took a look at conditions of temporary and provisional Visa's in Australia, and temporary Visas cap out at 5 years. Now if you have provisional visas the rules are a lot more complicated. It's also likely your husband is an engineer.

Having said that, I spent 2 years in Australia on a non working visa, I stayed as long as the money lasted. If I could do it again I would. I'm quite jealous of you, living in the land of OZ with no job.

So if your Husband wants to work at McDonalds he is probably going to have to talk to an emigration specialist. Food service isn't exactly (even a little) skilled labor. He would be more likely to get permission if he was to work as an engineer.

A lot of educators Take a one year sabbatical to work in the industry, for pretty much the reasons your Husband wants to leave education. That seems a better option than flipping burgers.

Or is it just a question of overstaying the visa, violating the terms of the visa? or just going back to LA LA land.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (9 March 2021):

Ciar agony auntYeah. That too.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada +, writes (8 March 2021):

Ciar agony auntAs a person who has worked in a highly regulated, legal/financial industry I can tell you that over the years some of my colleagues and I have fantasized about doing the same thing.

I don't know about the legality of such a move and how it would affect your immigration status in New Zealand, but I can empathize with him.

Your husband feels trapped, with the weight of the world on his shoulders. This talk of working at McDonalds might be just that-TALK, despite how certain he may sound. He NEEDS to be able to explore options, that he can do something different. I myself, came close to quitting my job last summer, even speaking to our manager about it. I wanted something menial, but the conversation with her helped and I decided to crack on. Every so often I need to remind myself that i can leave any time.

And you'd be surprised how many mature people McDonald's hires. The one closest to my house has several people much older than your husband. Mature people are generally low maintenance workers, who aren't using the job as a stepping stone to something better.

My advice is to let your husband talk about this as if you're ok one way or the other. Chances are he will eventually talk himself out of it. The more resistant you are, the more desperate and determined he'll be.

He could consider speaking to his superiors about reducing his workload. You can encourage him to explore other options by ASKING him what else he might like to do.

Something you need to understand here, you've enjoyed a very comfortable life, compared to your husband, and those of us who have to earn a living. You may have had your own struggles, but they pale in comparison to the person who has to work to provide for others.

You don't have to circumnavigate traffic, or find a seat on a crowded bus. You don't have to deal with clients, colleagues, supervisors, managers. You're 'contribution' to your household is not subject to annual review, and you don't have to book time off. Every day is Saturday for you. Covid cost you NOTHING.

If you want to help and support him, you could look at getting a job yourself, even part time, to help offset his reduced hours/pay if he does make any career changes.

If you're not prepared to do that, then at least listen and let him talk.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2021):

There is something wrong. It doesn't seem as simple as suffering depression. How would he support the two of you on a fast-food server's income? I speculate he's going through something more on the brink of a psychotic episode or mental-breakdown. He's not even reasoning, and he's totally ignoring your concerns. Well, that might be the normal dynamics of your marriage; where he just does whatever he wants without any collaboration or discussion with you. He doesn't need your permission, but what he's doing will drastically affect the financial situation and foreign residency status for both of you!

The upside is, you'll probably be flying back to the US shortly!

I suggest you call an immigration attorney to find-out how such a drastic change will affect his visa eligibility status? Going from a skilled-job under the sponsorship of the university to a non-skilled job he's far over-qualified for. I think a job-changeover has to be for the same occupation that you currently hold. He's not thinking clearly and may require psychological-evaluation. As always, it's the husband! Making some crazy lateral move against the protests of his wife; and in defiance of all reason and logic! No regard for the repercussions or the possible effects it will have on his immigrant status!

Well, a nomination application must be lodged for the same occupation he holds...so good luck! When he's notified his job application is rejected, that will settle matters as far as that goes; but if he resigns his position at the university, they may not take him back.

From all indications, he may not be mentally-capable of handling his job anymore. He needs to take time-off under the care and treatment of a good therapist. I'm sure the university will allow it.

It's unlikely he'll get a job anywhere without the right qualifying documentation and meeting the visa residency requirements. His reasoning and behavior is irrational; and he may be too mentally-impaired to handle any job at the moment.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (8 March 2021):

kenny agony auntI can't quite get my head around why a university professor would want to give all that up to work in a fast food outlet, i think he has taken leave of his senses.

You say that you are already worried about finances if he did quit, and quite rightly so because he would be taking a gargantuan cut in pay. And also combined with the fact that you are not working at the moment, i think he is being rather selfish in this decision, and he needs a reality check.

Assuming you still have a mortgage, and combined with all the other day to day bills, and running a car, or cars, how on earth is are you going to pay for all of this before you run in to problems?.

Being a professor you would of thought these bases would have been thought of, and covered, but obviously not. Which is why i think he may be having some sort of crisis.

All you can do in this situation is talk to him, and emphasize the fact that this is a stupid, and rather purile idea, and could ultimately be the road to your downfall.

If he is not happy with his current job, i would have thought that with his professional qualifications, and experience he could find a job that he could be happy in that pays more that the local fast food outlet.

If he does actually leave to pursue this crazy idea, maybe the only other person that could possible help may be a psychiatrist.

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