A
female
age
51-59,
*eliable_gal
writes:This is a letter I am sending to my husband.. I have no idea how he is going to respond.. So if your a guy.. Please feel free to reply.. That way I can prepare myself.. For whatever transpires. Thanks"Since I spoke to you about us.. You made it very clear that you don't believe in counseling of any sorts.We have tried to communicate but it all seems to be about day to day things. They matter but they don't begin to touch on the things that plague our marriage.Unfortunately you made it very clear that you don't listen to 90% of what I talk to you about or have to say on things.. So I really don't know where that leaves us.You have asked for a kiss once in 3 months.., Last thursday before I went to work. I figured maybe if you were asking. I should try to do better. I laid down with you yesterday.. You gave me your back. I tried running my hands over you.. And I was told I was messin you up.. I rolled over the other direction to see if you would follow and wrap your arms around me.. You left the room..I guess my statement about you loving me but not being in love with me was far closer to the truth then either of us expected.As for secrets.. I have none.. But perhaps you would like to share with me what yours is.. Since you brought it up.I don't know if we should separate agreeably or get lawyers.. Because in God's honest truth.. I can't fix our marriage by myself and we are equally at fault for where it is now. It hurts me greatly.. Everyday that we do not try to make this good.. Living in 2 separate worlds under 1 roof.I feel like having a good cry.. But I think the tears would be pointless. Ex pending emotional heart break and unappreciated energy that I really need to store for my childrens well being."Signed,Love and confused Reply to this Question
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female
reader, reliable_gal +, writes (15 February 2013):
reliable_gal is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the advice. Currently we are still together.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 January 2013):
 the letter is all over the place.
basically you are unhappy and he is not listening.
I agree that counseling is in order.
If he refuses to go then ending the marriage is your only option.
you can't fix it yourself you are right.
I like Tisha's post.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (23 January 2013):
 "My Darling Husband, I am very unhappy. Our marriage is a mess and we need outside help to fix things. I am prepared to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work. Do you want the marriage to work? It is either a YES or a NO. A Yes means counselling, probably a lot of it with 110% input from both of us, however if you decide that "No" is your answer, be man enough to tell me so that we can Divorce."Poster - either your hb is in this marriage or he is out of it - there is no fence sitting - you sound very unhappy with the situation so be strong and do something about it. Push him for a decision - give him a time limit - say one week to decide. If he decides to the negative, then either he moves out or you pack your bags and leave.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786 +, writes (23 January 2013):
 Hi, I would not send him the letter. It seems the relationship has a number of issues and including the lack of physical interest by your partner.
I am curious , do you think he has someone else? No kisses , no sex, no communication, no interest in making the marriage work. Seems like the marriage has lost its spark or his interest is some where else.
I would opt for a seperation, the time apart will give you time to decide whether the marriage is worth fighting for.
Be strong, be confident, take time in yourself, dress, use make up, take up a hobby. Dont make him the focus of your life. You said it, you seem to be doing everything to make the marriage work, there lies your answer.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 January 2013):
 I'm not a man but I think you need to be really clear here.
"Husband, I love you but this isn't working. I want to fix it and I hope you want to fix it too. To fix things, which are so badly broken, we need outside help."
"If we don't get it in the form of marriage counseling, we're going to get it in the form of divorce attorneys. My vote is for counseling. What''s your vote?"
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