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| | *omewhat_anonymous's profile:No Nonsense, No Sugar-coating:
A straightforward FAQ
Q: Should I have an affair?
A: Absolutely not, I wish Jerry Springer was popular again so you'd know why and I'd see this question less than three times a day. No, don't say, "but..." the answer is still "NO" and you know it. NO! NEVER DO IT!
Q: Is my penis big enough? Why does it look different?
A: An average penis is 5-7 inches. Less than that can still do the job and if you are worried, use something besides what is between your legs. And if everyone has a different face, why would genitals be different in this aspect? They come in different shapes and sizes, so you're probably normal. Same with vaginas.
Q: We had unprotected sex, but he pulled out before he had an orgasm, how did I become pregnant?
A: Um, when did they stop teaching Sex Ed? Just because he didn't shoot, doesn't mean his dribbling precum didn't have sperm. It only takes one of his little tadpoles to swim across the finish line.
Q: Dude, my sister is so hot, should I ask her to have sex with me?
A: HELLS NAW! That's called incest and it is illegal. If you have a kid, he/she would probably be retarded or genetically defective in some way. You are only hot for her because she is the female closest to you.
Q: I'm 40 and want to date this 11 year old. Is this okay?
A: No, that is disgusting, you're a pedophile, get help.
Q: My significant other abuses me physically and/or emotionally and I want to stay, how do I go about this?
A: Leave. Leave him/her right now. You know those women on Oprah that you'd say are crazy for staying with the wifebeater? Well, that's you. Stand up for yourself, don't be a doormat, and walk.
Q: Everything is going great, why do I want to leave him/her?
A: Remember the first Matrix movie? The main agent said that the original Matrix design was a world with no pain or consequence. The human mind could not accept this and everyone woke up. It didn't work until pain and consequence were introduced. Think on that. There is much truth to reality. Other than that, you may have a fear of success, or be seeking a challenge. Americans do well under stress, we are used to it. We don't know how to handle things when they go well, much like a child doesn't know how to handle freedom.
Q; I'm a pregnant teen and don't know if I should keep this baby or tell anyone.
A: We'll I don't have a definitive answer, but let's hope this helps. First, I don't see how you will keep it from your parents at your age. Your best bet is to be honest and tell them right now. If you are worried that your entire life will stop and you'll drop out, let me hopefully provide you with inspiration. I have a female co-worker, she got pregnant when she was 16. She kept the baby and finished high school ON TIME and in mostly HONORS CLASSES! She finished college on time. She is now a teacher in her mid 20's with three kids and a husband that is the father of all three kids. She is finishing up her masters degree and she always has enough money to go on vacation, even though her husband works part-time and is going to school. Of course this is not the norm and it takes a supportive family/families and the guy has to be there too, but it is not impossible! NEVER have an abortion just because the guy threatens to leave. On top of that, a lot of young mothers are worried until the baby is born and would have regretted the decision to have an abortion. for more inspiration on this matter look at this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/for-all-young-women.html
Other people on this site that are very helpful that you can trust:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/flower_girl
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/birdynumnums |
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I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, it sounds like he's willing to work this out later after some thought, but are you still willing to? If so, wait until you both can go into this calmly, when he can no longer call you names and when you figure out what you want.
Yeah,... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: Dr. Psych makes sense and earlier I thought of some of what she said too, but wasn't sure what measures to take. You could have the cops check out the computer and end the relationship, but also, I am not sure on this, it might incriminate you ... (read in full...)
Does his jealousy mean he still loves me?
Q. A few weeks ago my boyfriend broke up with me because he said he didn't know if he loved me or not. He said he still wanted to be best friends and he wanted me to keep something precious of his that he gave to me to wear when we were together, but I ...
A. 19 August 2007: He just sounds generally confused. It could even be that he loves you a lot and it freaks him out. But if that had been the case, he really should have talked to you about it instead of ending it.
If he's really not sure if he loves you, may... (read in full...)
My husband won't have anything to do with my parents.
Q. Husband acts like my parents don't exist. We've been married 11 years and up until a few years ago my husband made an effort to get along with my parents. Then our marriage got into trouble and we separated for over a year. Since we got back toge...
A. 19 August 2007: It would be nice if he came out and joined your family too, however, and maybe I am just reading into things here, but you said that he was "making an effort" until the separation.
Now that could mean many things. Did he have to try extra ha... (read in full...)
Everyone thinks i'm ugly.
Q. This has been making me feel depressed for a long time. EVERYWHERE I go i hear people call me ugly even at school too. I hear it almost everyday. No one even notices me or even look at me. My sister, and parents think i'm not that pretty either. ...
A. 19 August 2007: The only thing I can add is that this is emotional abuse. Perhaps a social worker or counselor would be of help to you at school.... (read in full...)
How do i tell my parents about my older women?
Q. I'm 16 and I'm going out with a 25 year old woman and we love each other very much. How would I tell my parents about us without them freaking out or anything?...
A. 19 August 2007: I think Kenny's solution is about the only one that can happen. The thing is, if you are truly in love and she's 25 while you're only 16, you'd either have to be REALLY mature for your age or she's really immature. Since you would probably have a ... (read in full...)
She wont leave us alone.
Q. My first boyfriend weve been going out for 8 months and my mom hates that were in love she keeps critiscizing us and if i have a headache " are you pregnant!!!!!??" or also like he said he doesnt like smoke she starts yelling at me that hes a ...
A. 19 August 2007: She's overprotective and probably will never trust any boyfriend you ever have. What she has to realize is that the more she criticizes and judges, the more she will push you away and the more likely you will do something you regret.
Schoo... (read in full...)
I don't have to worry if he just pulls out, do i?
Q. ok me and my boyfriend are attempting a quickie but we dont have time for a condom but if he pulls out we shouldnt worry right i understand preejaculation but has that ever really gotten someone pregnant?...
A. 19 August 2007: I qam just reaffirming what everyone says here so far. If you are looking for someone to tell you this is okay, I am sorry I cannot be that person.... (read in full...)
He dropped all of our plans and went to see his children.
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for over a year but he ws married before with 2 kids we have had plans this weekend his ex wife has jsut phoned an said that one of his kids is playing up and that he needed to be there so he has just dropped ...
A. 19 August 2007: He has kids and he cannot alienate them. He shouldn't have to choose between you or them, but you also shouldn't be handed the short end of the stick every time.
For more insight, I need more details...could you explain "playing up" a little m... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: I am tempted to agree with most of what is said, but I am also worried this is a knee-jerk reaction. Yes, it is potentially a HUGE problem, but I think we need more information here. Is there any more occurance of this in his journals? How does ... (read in full...)
He was all protective and I kind of liked that!
Q. Hi, i like a boy in my class, i thort he didn't like me because he had a fling with my mate but apparently i found out and he said he really likes me, after 4 years gone he finally talked to me and he said he wanted to meet me at first i ignored him ...
A. 19 August 2007: Try it out then. All the advice I see so far is sound. He might be giving mixed signals because it could be his first real potential relationship and not know how to handle it. ... (read in full...)
Should I still question him about the affair? How can he act like it never happened?
Q. On June 1 2006 I read an email that my husband had sent to one of my closest friends, she lived across the street from us. The email said that he had this hug guilt complex hit him, "It's not that I don't want to see you or talk to you, believe ...
A. 19 August 2007: Yeah, don't play the part. The friend may feel guilty and not know how to respond or face you (but that is no excuse), or she might be happy about what she's done. I don't know how long you've been trying to make this work, and I don't know how ... (read in full...)
I have put an end to contacting her. Was that the right decision?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm afraid I did something very stupid yet again, and this time I think it has really blown things apart. *Check my column to hear about my situation* Last night I dreamt about her. It was us getting back together. First thing I di...
A. 19 August 2007: Sure, good luck in whatever you decide!... (read in full...)
In an affair as secondary partner, it sucks!! But the drama, sex etc are mind blowing... Advice needed!
Q. Advice needed, in an affair as secondary partner, it sucks!! But the drama, sex etc are mind blowing and we have both lost control. So i have pulled away for both our sakes. Still want her but it aint lookin like shes leavin. I dont know why she ...
A. 19 August 2007: Man, you know what to do. You're just hoping someone will tell you what you're doing is okay. Well, it's not and you damn well know it. That's why she is ignoring you and carrying on like nothing happened. She feels guilty and wants to resume a ... (read in full...)
He never wants to have sex anymore...
Q. Well, you see, my boyfriend and I have had sex 4 times before. But now he seems very anxious about it and never wants to anymore. And when we are in the moment and he mentions wanting to and getting a condom I go get it and by the time I get back he ...
A. 19 August 2007: How old is he? If there is an age gap, maybe he feels strange about it and that you're too young. ... (read in full...)
Pregnant with my 4th child, and even though I have there father in my life, I still feel like I'm a single mother...
Q. I really need some help.I am pregnant with my 4th child, and even though I have there father in my life, I still feel like I'm a single mother. He contrubuts money wise, he does nothing with the children. We have two boys 8, and 6. He doesn't spend ...
A. 19 August 2007: He seems to think that money is all it takes to raise a family? You have to talk to him about this before you end up with a dysfunctional "pseudo family". He has to realize it is more than money. Is he working overtime? Can he cut back on hours ... (read in full...)
Could he go to jail for getting me pregnant?
Q. I am 15 almost 16 and I'm pregnant but will be 16 before the babies born and my boyfriend is 21 will he go to jail even though I'll be 16 before the babies born? And say I didnt put his name on the birth certificate and later on I do, can they still ...
A. 19 August 2007: He could go to jail. It is statutory rape. Every state is different, but usually you have to be eighteen and then you can have sex with anyone older than that. I think if you're 17,sex with an 18-19 year old is okay.
It all really depends ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend got mad at me and had sex with somebody she has known a long time... and doesn't see it as a big deal!
Q. Ya, my girlfriend got mad at me and had sex with somebody she has known a long time and considers her brother. Even before that i was jealous of her closeness with him. She adores him but i don't think he wants an intimate relationship with her. ...
A. 19 August 2007: You cannot really make her banish a close friend. If you were jealous of him in the beginning and were strict with her contact with him, it may have actually had the opposite effect. However she's the one that had sex with him and that was going ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to older women.... why?
Q. i am 26 year and i like older woman then me i dont understand why this is happneing to me. i am more attracted to them in all manner. what is your advice how to come out of this. i dont have any girlfriend....
A. 19 August 2007: How old is older? If that's your thing, why is it a problem?... (read in full...)
How can I up my libido?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 4 years, when my boyfriend and I have sex, he is in the mood so much more then I am. He does not like to forplay and but likes to go right to it. I cant get hot going right to it. so most of the time im just laying ...
A. 19 August 2007: I think he should just do the foreplay. It shouldn't just be all about his enjoyment. Why should he use your vagina without letting you have something more out of it?
I don't know about helping your libido, but everyone is different. And guys... (read in full...)
I feel like we are supposed to be together and she does too... But she has a boyfriend now!
Q. So my ex-girlfriend and I dated for 2 years and 11 months, and due to a huge miscommunication we broke up, and we are now starting to realize what we had and could still have. The only problem is she has a boyfriend now who she likes but she is in ...
A. 19 August 2007: Yep, what Flower Girl said. She is the one with the boyfriend so she'll have to decide and you have to let her know that you can't put your life on hold indefinitely to wait for her.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesnt want me to talk to girls - EVER
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 11 months already (14 of this month, which has just passed), and I truly and deeply love her to death. 5 months into our relationship, I moved from Daly City, CA to Tracy, CA and here's where the problem ...
A. 18 August 2007: You've got a lot of good advice here, however one thing that I think I would like to add is that the more she tries to keep you on this emotional leash, the more she will end up pushing you away. She must understand this. You will suffocate from ... (read in full...)
If a blood test is for appendicitis, will it also show if i'm pregnant?
Q. Does anyone know if wen you get a blood test that it will show if your pregnant? Becaus i got a blood test to see if i have appendisitis and want to know if the docter would tell ma mum i'm pregnant if the test showed. So does any one know if the ...
A. 18 August 2007: Yeah, what Dr. Psych said. If they do find appendicitis, then you'll probably need it taken out and whatever they knock you out with could harm the baby, so you should tell him.
But honestly, at your age, how do you think you're going to pull thi... (read in full...)
Help for a man that can't commit.
Q. Are there any books, articles, other help for MEN WHO CAN'T COMMIT/LOVE? When you google it, all you find are books warning women about these men or how/why women fall for men like this. How about HELP for the man himself??? (He wants it! He ...
A. 18 August 2007: I would trust Frank B. Kermit. I haven't seen him write a bad piece of advice on here yet. So a book by him must be pure gold!... (read in full...)
Is giving a man oral a bad thing?
Q. Is giving blowjobs a bad thing? I've heard half and half but I really want to know so I won't do something I will regret....
A. 18 August 2007: You are young, so I'd caution against it. But other than that, bad in what way?... (read in full...)
He could not get it in.
Q. ok i usually know this but um well me and my boyfriend tried having sex today see we were fine we had our clothes on but that shouldnt matter we knew where it went he was fingering me and well we just couldnt get it in? this is both our first time ...
A. 18 August 2007: As for the legality thing, It doesn't ever seem to be enforced here in the U.S. unless it is statutory rape. I found this link: http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
However, that doesn't mean you're ready for it. With your bodily response... (read in full...)
Does she like me or just see me as a friend?
Q. Hello, I recently found a girl I like, She gave me her phone number, how many day should I wait to call her? How can I tell if she likes me or if she just considers me a friend? One more knot for the rope, I am in Germany, my German is not very...
A. 18 August 2007: I'm not sure how the values are there, but she probably likes you. Maybe she thinks you're "That Hot American Guy." What other hints has she given you? You'll never know unless you try it out and see where it goes.
As for the amount of time to ... (read in full...)
He lost his job and wants some space from me
Q. My boyfriend has been out of work for the past month and I usually have the summer off due to my line of work. We've been arguing about petty things and our relationship has changed this past month. We're been around eachother 24 hours a day and it ...
A. 18 August 2007: He is sounding nervous, confused, anxious...He might feel like he's the one that should be earning the money here and now that he isn't, he might feel like less of a man. He might be searching for answers as to why it happened or maybe he is ... (read in full...)
On again, off again? How do we move forward?
Q. How do I win him back? Onagain, off again... he doesn't know what he wants... can't fully commit, butcan't seem to leave me alone either. Right now on a break as both are tired of the yo-yo of me wanting more and his not knowing what he wants. ...
A. 18 August 2007: Try it one last time, but put the warning out there that this is it. You cannot wait your whole life waiting for him to figure it out. Ask where he sees this all going and what he wants. If it is you he wants, what is the problem? He sounds like ... (read in full...)
Should I still question him about the affair? How can he act like it never happened?
Q. On June 1 2006 I read an email that my husband had sent to one of my closest friends, she lived across the street from us. The email said that he had this hug guilt complex hit him, "It's not that I don't want to see you or talk to you, believe ...
A. 18 August 2007: You need to address this. You have every right to as it affects you. Sounds like your counselor is an idiot. Your husband seems like a continuous fountain of lies. I'd probably end it get the divorce. However, he at least does care for you and ... (read in full...)
Is my abusive ex partner stalking me?!
Q. has anyone got any views on this? my ex partner, who can be abusive, said a few things to me when i was with him which makes me wonder does he stalk me. one time i was going to put a curtain up at my back door as you can see right into my house, and ...
A. 18 August 2007: Do exactly what Birdynumnums said.... (read in full...)
My husband wants to take me to a sex club and have sex with other people... but I don't want to!
Q. hello my husband at first sugested on having a 3sum for a while in the end i did mmf but now he wants to go to club to have sex with others i didnt feel comfortable about this but said yes to it we arrange to go. we got outside and i saw what typ...
A. 18 August 2007: Ditto on Flower Girl and HLSkitten.
You should never be forced into a situation you are uncomfortable with and he should realize this.... (read in full...)
He's got no money and can't work because of his bad leg... so his solution is for me to sell my body (sex-wise) for money!
Q. i gt bk with my bf in april after breaking up in dec.we gt engagd recently and he took me to his country to meet hiz parents.he says he loves me and does nearly everything i say we plan a lovly future but the onlything is he does nt want to work ...
A. 18 August 2007: Yeah, what is this guy a pimp? This is actually how some pimps turn innocent girls into prostitutes. "Hey baby, I know all the other girls, but it's you I love...just a few more 'jobs' and we'll have enough money to get married."
Forge... (read in full...)
In love with my classmate but he has a gf!!!
Q. hi! I am in a very big dilemma and hope that you will be able to help me out. Feel free to give your opinions. Actually, i has been 3 months since i started to love a classmate. At first i proposed him but he said that he is already going ou...
A. 18 August 2007: What Flower Girl said. Don't interfere with his current relationship. How would you feel if the tables were turned? Imagine going out with him, while some other girl is trying to seduce him. You'll have to wait it out, but don't wait around. ... (read in full...)
He says if I dont go out with him he will find other girls to 'chill with'
Q. Since i have been with m boyfriend he has made going out with my friends a chore. He will call me all the time, give me a curfew..(usually no later than 2am) otherwise he s implies i am a girl of ill repute. it got to the point that i am now always ...
A. 18 August 2007: He either wants to control you or he just doesn't trust you. Either way, he's got you on an "emotional leash." This is very one-sided. You don't deserve that. He'll either have to wise up or you should walk away. You can do better than this. ... (read in full...)
I had sex with him, but now he says I am too young
Q. I got Invited over a guys house that im seeing hes 19 and im 15...i met his mum and dad and their great they loved me and didnt seem to mind the age gap...we went upstairs 2 his room and 1 thing led 2 another...we ended up having sex and in the ...
A. 18 August 2007: He does really like you, it is just that he realized he is legally an adult and he's probably ready for college and you aren't that far along into high school. It isn't the age gap so much, it is the legality and maturity. He might also feel like ... (read in full...)
He was all protective and I kind of liked that!
Q. Hi, i like a boy in my class, i thort he didn't like me because he had a fling with my mate but apparently i found out and he said he really likes me, after 4 years gone he finally talked to me and he said he wanted to meet me at first i ignored him ...
A. 18 August 2007: Well, you're a bit young, so if you think you're ready for a relationship with him, try it out. No one can tell you if he really likes you or would leave, you have to try it out yourself. It says you're 10-12 years old up there, how old is he?... (read in full...)
Do I take a chance and get back with my ex?
Q. Help! I think I want to get back with partner and I know he definitely wants to make another go of it with me. We were together for 4 years and split in February though have kept in touch a few times by text. He's a really nice, honourable guy and ...
A. 18 August 2007: It could have just been that you needed a break from each other. You will probably get those feelings back in time, and you don't know that it will work this time, but if everything you said about him is truth and not just what you see, there is a ... (read in full...)
He is moving away and I am not sure what will happen with us
Q. Question for the boys! I have been seeing a guy from work for a few months. He asked me out and told me he has had a crush on me for years but we were never single at the same time. Since we started dating we have a great time, and are kicking ...
A. 18 August 2007: It might just be that he is really busy, yet if you are that important to him, it would be nice for him to call. However, I think you are right that he is trying to let it fizzle out, but he is probably doing it because it might seem easier to let ... (read in full...)
I love her, but I keep pushing her away!
Q. I have loved this girl for 2 years now an i know for sure she feels the same for me as she told me last year how she has feelings for me. I very stupidly said i liked her but wasn't interested in a relationship along with other excuses why i ...
A. 18 August 2007: I've had the same problem. I've been burned in relationships many times, and yes it hurts and takes a while to trust someone again. But you have to remember that not everyone is like this. It may not sort itself out in time, you'll probably have ... (read in full...)
I know online dating isnt the same as the real thing, but I do like this guy!
Q. I've been talking to this guy on MSN for about a year. He's a friend of my cousin. We live about a 3-hour drive from eachother. I have known him for more than a year and things have got serious to the point that he says he loves me and I admit that ...
A. 18 August 2007: I'd move on. I doubt that you'll get to see him much and carrying on a relationship through MSN is not a way to go. You know how you sometimes get excited before a first date with someone? I think in a way that's what this is and it's been ... (read in full...)
I have put an end to contacting her. Was that the right decision?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm afraid I did something very stupid yet again, and this time I think it has really blown things apart. *Check my column to hear about my situation* Last night I dreamt about her. It was us getting back together. First thing I di...
A. 18 August 2007: Perhaps she is thinking about the "later on down the road" thing too but now isn't a good time due to the distance. However, don't wait around for that. Move on, I think you can do that while still being friends at a distance. At a distance ... (read in full...)
He still wants to be friends, but I want more
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. we were madly in love. i thought he was the one. i still do. he was kind of off with me for a few days. then he said he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he wasn't. he said he has too much baggage from ...
A. 18 August 2007: Good plan.... (read in full...)
He still wants to be friends, but I want more
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. we were madly in love. i thought he was the one. i still do. he was kind of off with me for a few days. then he said he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he wasn't. he said he has too much baggage from ...
A. 18 August 2007: It is only six weeks, you may have strong feelings, but you don't really know him all that well in that period of time to say you were madly in love. Most relationships where that kind of language is used from the early stages usually end just as ... (read in full...)
I have put an end to contacting her. Was that the right decision?
Q. Hello everyone. I'm afraid I did something very stupid yet again, and this time I think it has really blown things apart. *Check my column to hear about my situation* Last night I dreamt about her. It was us getting back together. First thing I di...
A. 8 August 2007: Okay, first off, you aren't stupid. You are a bit emotional and on top of that, the internet makes it easy to now send something out before thinking about it. Back in the day, we had to write letters, sleep on it and had the chance to back out. ... (read in full...)
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