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| | *omewhat_anonymous's profile:No Nonsense, No Sugar-coating:
A straightforward FAQ
Q: Should I have an affair?
A: Absolutely not, I wish Jerry Springer was popular again so you'd know why and I'd see this question less than three times a day. No, don't say, "but..." the answer is still "NO" and you know it. NO! NEVER DO IT!
Q: Is my penis big enough? Why does it look different?
A: An average penis is 5-7 inches. Less than that can still do the job and if you are worried, use something besides what is between your legs. And if everyone has a different face, why would genitals be different in this aspect? They come in different shapes and sizes, so you're probably normal. Same with vaginas.
Q: We had unprotected sex, but he pulled out before he had an orgasm, how did I become pregnant?
A: Um, when did they stop teaching Sex Ed? Just because he didn't shoot, doesn't mean his dribbling precum didn't have sperm. It only takes one of his little tadpoles to swim across the finish line.
Q: Dude, my sister is so hot, should I ask her to have sex with me?
A: HELLS NAW! That's called incest and it is illegal. If you have a kid, he/she would probably be retarded or genetically defective in some way. You are only hot for her because she is the female closest to you.
Q: I'm 40 and want to date this 11 year old. Is this okay?
A: No, that is disgusting, you're a pedophile, get help.
Q: My significant other abuses me physically and/or emotionally and I want to stay, how do I go about this?
A: Leave. Leave him/her right now. You know those women on Oprah that you'd say are crazy for staying with the wifebeater? Well, that's you. Stand up for yourself, don't be a doormat, and walk.
Q: Everything is going great, why do I want to leave him/her?
A: Remember the first Matrix movie? The main agent said that the original Matrix design was a world with no pain or consequence. The human mind could not accept this and everyone woke up. It didn't work until pain and consequence were introduced. Think on that. There is much truth to reality. Other than that, you may have a fear of success, or be seeking a challenge. Americans do well under stress, we are used to it. We don't know how to handle things when they go well, much like a child doesn't know how to handle freedom.
Q; I'm a pregnant teen and don't know if I should keep this baby or tell anyone.
A: We'll I don't have a definitive answer, but let's hope this helps. First, I don't see how you will keep it from your parents at your age. Your best bet is to be honest and tell them right now. If you are worried that your entire life will stop and you'll drop out, let me hopefully provide you with inspiration. I have a female co-worker, she got pregnant when she was 16. She kept the baby and finished high school ON TIME and in mostly HONORS CLASSES! She finished college on time. She is now a teacher in her mid 20's with three kids and a husband that is the father of all three kids. She is finishing up her masters degree and she always has enough money to go on vacation, even though her husband works part-time and is going to school. Of course this is not the norm and it takes a supportive family/families and the guy has to be there too, but it is not impossible! NEVER have an abortion just because the guy threatens to leave. On top of that, a lot of young mothers are worried until the baby is born and would have regretted the decision to have an abortion. for more inspiration on this matter look at this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/for-all-young-women.html
Other people on this site that are very helpful that you can trust:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/flower_girl
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/birdynumnums |
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He still wants to be friends, but I want more
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. we were madly in love. i thought he was the one. i still do. he was kind of off with me for a few days. then he said he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he wasn't. he said he has too much baggage from ...
A. 18 August 2007: Good plan.... (read in full...)
I thought our date went really well but he hasn't contacted me since...
Q. There's a guy in my school that I have liked 4 ages, but a lot of other girls like him too. He's only a year older than me, when I am around him it's so obvious that I like him, because of the way I act. Anyway he found out I liked him then it was ...
A. 18 August 2007: Just call him and figure it out from there. Honestly though, if it has been two weeks, I am not very hopeful.... (read in full...)
The problem is his daughter -she is 30 years old and only calls us when she wants something - usually money but some kind of favor.
Q. My husband and I have been married 9 years. We each have 2 grown children. The problem is his daughter -she is 30 years old and only calls us when she wants something - usually money but some kind of favor. He can't say no to her. Not only is ...
A. 18 August 2007: Before i can really judge this one, how can you be sure she isn't sick? What is the supposed cause of this illness?... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend's family to like me?
Q. I wonder if anyone has any advice about how to "break through" to ones boyfriend's family. They maintain such a tight hold on him, none of the siblings are married and its not exactly incestuous, but. Whenever I try to push through the barrier, ...
A. 18 August 2007: If you've shown your willingness to meet them and all that, I think you've done your duty. But if that age range up there is correct and he is also close to it, he should have been his own person a long time ago. I think all you can do is make him ... (read in full...)
He still wants to be friends, but I want more
Q. i was with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. we were madly in love. i thought he was the one. i still do. he was kind of off with me for a few days. then he said he thought he was ready for a relationship, but he wasn't. he said he has too much baggage from ...
A. 18 August 2007: It is only six weeks, you may have strong feelings, but you don't really know him all that well in that period of time to say you were madly in love. Most relationships where that kind of language is used from the early stages usually end just as ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me, but should I give him another chance?
Q. Hi, I recently found out that my boyfriend of 3 months has cheated on me with his ex partner. He says it was only once, but I'm not sure. He could be telling the truth as we had a row and then he spent a few nights elsewhere with ex. He says hes...
A. 18 August 2007: It's only been three months, I doubt you're really in love. You may have strong feelings, but you are just starting to get to know each other and you already found out he cheated. What's to stop him again? How many other "one time things" will ... (read in full...)
My 16 year old daughter is dating a 48 year old man!
Q. This problem worries me A LOT and I really need your help, so please help! Apologies for the length... sorry! I'm a mother of two, been married to my husband for 20 years - my son's 19 and in university (living away from home), my daughter's 1...
A. 18 August 2007: RJ is right that perhaps you should get to know him better, and while age gaps are not a huge thing in many circumstances to me, but here it is considering the maturity level of most 16 year olds as compared to most 48 year olds. By the time she's ... (read in full...)
My ex is getting engaged, but i still love him.
Q. i really love my ex. we were together for over 8 months. i love him so much i think im obsessed. i can do anything for him. we had sex a couple weeks back and we wernt even going out. he is getting engaged now bcos of his parents. what do i do? i ...
A. 18 August 2007: Wait...what? He was with you not more than two weeks ago and now he's engaged to someone else and this is his parents' doing? You'll have to explain this a bit more.... (read in full...)
I think he is going to move near me but i'm not interested.
Q. Dear Cupid, I find myself with a dilemma. A friend of mine tried to hook me up with her uncle who lives in another state. We started talking online, but I wasn't really interested in him as a potential partner. I continued to talk to him though si...
A. 18 August 2007: If you are pretty sure this is why he is moving and you are sure you don't want a relationship, ask him why he is moving and if he tells you what you think you already know, tell him you don't want a relationship. It's that simple. Doing it is the ... (read in full...)
Some people say the age gap is perverted.
Q. Well basically i turned 15 late may and i really like this girl who is 12 atm and she will turn 13 in earlier febuary. Is it wrong for me to go out with someone 2 years and 8 months younger than myself? Like loads of people say its ok but then loads ...
A. 18 August 2007: Your age is fine at this point. It is just unsettling to some that at your age, that 2 years and 8 month difference is about 20% of your current life. How do you two match up on the maturity scale? That's what should matter here. ... (read in full...)
She doesn't ever flirt with me but my girlfriend thinks she will make a move on me. Am I wrong to talk to her? What should I do as I like her as a friend?
Q. Hi, I'm new here so be kind! Well, I'm 20 years old and have had a girlfriend for almost a year! We're really close, still both live with our parents but spend most of our time together. We do virtually everything together and share only a few...
A. 17 August 2007: Yeah, your girlfriend is paranoid. She sounds like she is jealous and annoyed. Deep down, your girlfriend probably knows you aren't about to stray away, but it annoys her a bit. Think about it, even if you trust your girlfriend 100%, if you heard ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts school.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and am almost back from a one year long distance relationship. What is bothering me is that all of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts ...
A. 17 August 2007: Again, what the other two guys said. Basically she is saying she doesn't have time for you when you should be an important part of her life. I mean, you proposed to her and then she says something like this? Maybe I'm wrong, but it sounds like s... (read in full...)
Freindship problems stemming from blaming others and telling lies. Any views?
Q. I have been friends with this girl (i'll call her friend A for this might get complicated!!) for three years and she has always seemed so wise and together. She knows what she wants and doesnt let anyone trample on her. I thought she was great and ...
A. 16 August 2007: Tramplers often cannot afford to be wrong either in their own minds or in the eyes of others.
Friend A is putting up a strong front. Admitting she's wrong is admitting weakness in her eyes. ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts school.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and am almost back from a one year long distance relationship. What is bothering me is that all of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts ...
A. 16 August 2007: Yeah, she is foreshadowing the end. She sounds like she's trying to get high and mighty and you have to realize that maybe she "ain't all that."
Sounds like she wants to explore and do her own thing, which sucks since you've been putting up with ... (read in full...)
How can I get things back to the way they were?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a problem with my boyfriend, actually he fell out of love with me and he asked for space. The reason why he asked for that is because he's tired of understanding everything from me. He keeps on telling me that I changed since I ...
A. 16 August 2007: All you can really do is hope that he starts trusting you again. You should also tell the ex off and why haven't you changed the password to your Friendster account? Change it and delete those pictures.... (read in full...)
How do I stop having these feelings for my ex?
Q. Okay I'm 16 and my ex girlfriend is 15. We have been broken up for just over 6 months and she has been with her most recent boyfriend for those 6 months. She really likes him and says she loves him (we are very close friends still) and he sounds ...
A. 16 August 2007: Did you just start having feelings for her again when she said she loves her boyfriend? If so, you may just be wanting what you cannot have. Do not come between them. That will only lead to problems. And if she leaves him for you, how can you be ... (read in full...)
Should I go after my ex, or this new older man?
Q. im soo confused latley. i split up with my long distance boyfriend a year ago and have been saying ever since that when i drive i am going to get him back because i think we split up because of the distance. i still love him and cant seem to get ...
A. 16 August 2007: How much do you know about the older guy? Do you think that mentally you're on the same level? Afterall, he's got almost 10 years on you and so far that is over 1/3 of his life and over 1/2 of yours so far. ... (read in full...)
Should I marry my fiance even although I am not in love with him?
Q. Hi, I have been dating my fiance for 1 year and we have just got engaged. He is a very kind, caring and thoughtful guy and would do almost anything for me. I have never been out with anyone who has so wanted to take care of me and thinks of me...
A. 16 August 2007: Never get married because you think "it is time." This just leads to problems. You don't exactly sound like you're a good match, even if he is a great guy and all. Of course you sound like you've been through a hell of an emotional ride. Maybe ... (read in full...)
I feel like the passion is dead and do not want to make the mistake by getting married to a man I do not love.
Q. I am 31, working as a senior management in a small company. He is 37 working in medical field We have been together for 4 months and have been friends for 6 months prior to our relationship. It was not the smoothest ride in the beginning ...
A. 16 August 2007: Yeah, this is ridiculous. You haven't known him that long. That is probably why he is getting divorced now. Yeah he had family responsibilities and all that, but he probably didn't really know who he was marrying at the time. The same here.
... (read in full...)
I'm missing out on so much coz I'm with someone but I don't want to leave my boyfriend coz he means so much...
Q. Okay well, me and my boyfriend of 4 months have had a really good relationship. The only thing that bothers me now is that other guys are noticing me too and are flirting with me and giving me compliments and stuff like that. There's one guy...
A. 16 August 2007: Forget about the older guy. He's playing a game. Maybe he wants what he cannot have or shouldn't have as you are with someone now.
Never leave something good behind on a "what if?" basis. ... (read in full...)
My wife and I don't get along - would it be wrong to have sex with my ex?
Q. My wife cheated on me several times. We started to divorce but then we decided to give it another try. I must admit I hold onto a lot of resentment for all the lies and deciet along with her excuse that it was my fault she cheated. Things were good ...
A. 16 August 2007: Yeah, end this now. You know what is right, you just hope that this will hurt her and feel like "outspiting" her.
Finalize the divorce ASAP! There is nothing left for you in this marriage. She cheated three times and that is three too many... (read in full...)
So how do I make him comfortable to express his true feelings without getting phobic?
Q. Simple question... How do I win my ex back?! He's got relationship and commitment phobia (according to his own words) we've been together for almost a year and we've been apart for almost a year as well, but we've been in contact now for about 2 ...
A. 16 August 2007: That's a hard one. He might just have to sort it out himself or get therapy. This is atouchy situation and anything you do could either draw him in or push him further. All you can really do is be there for him and hope he wises up. But you also ... (read in full...)
It feels like i'm doing all the work.
Q. my boyfreind allways used to ring me up all the time and now he never does, i do most of the ringing, i dont really feel like i get to see him much. Am i being silly or is this quite serious i dont no what to do?...
A. 16 August 2007: Talk it out and see how he thinks it is going. Is he older? Did he start college? Maybe things are getting crazy in his schedule and he is relying on the fact that you'll call him. It shouldn't be this way, but maybe he's taking it for granted.... (read in full...)
Should i change myself for him?
Q. I am 17 years old and fell for a friend of mine (23 years old). i just recently found out that he has feelings for me too. i have liked him for a long time and would really like for us to start a relationship together. the reason i fell for him in ...
A. 16 August 2007: No, don't change for anybody. Only change yourself if it is a healthy change, like if you have a habit of punching people randomly or something. But even if you were to change, doing it for someone else is the wrong reason.
Act your age and be t... (read in full...)
Is it normal for my partner to go on holiday with her father and our sons a regular basis without me?
Q. I am in love with a woman who at times is the highlight of my life. We have one son together and she has one son from a previous relationship. Is it normal for a woman to want to go away with her father and my sons on a regular basis( vacations, ...
A. 16 August 2007: Definitely ask her, afterall, she leaves with your kids too. You desreve an explanation. If she has none, then ask what she'd think if you took the kids on a family vacation and she wouldn't be allowed to come with.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend loved me sooooooo much but after 6 months she suddenly said that she is not intrested in me and I really don't know why...? I didn't do anything bad...
Q. My girlfriend loved me sooooooo much but after 6 months she suddenly said that she is not intrested in me and I really don't know why...? I didn't do anything bad... ...
A. 15 August 2007: You also may have taken things too fast. You say she loved you soooooo much, and sometimes the relationships that start intensely and seem like they quickly get more intense fizzle out and fall apart as quickly as they begin.... (read in full...)
She told me to break up with him so I did but I really love him and I want to get back with him.
Q. dear cupid.. Me and my godsister like the same guy, and he likes me and her. I asked him out and he said yes, then my godsister was mad at me. She told me to break up with him so I did but I really love him and I want to get back with him. What ...
A. 15 August 2007: Some would say never start a relationship that hurts a friendship. But would your godsister have gone for him and considered your feelings if you didn't go after him first?
If she's a friend, she should step aside. She doesn't run your life. I... (read in full...)
Will I give him another chance and how do I learn to trust him again.
Q. I have been going out with my man for 10 months we get on very well, but I have just found out that he is still in contact with an old girlfriend and one night when she called at his house they had sex. He swears he will have nothing else to do ...
A. 15 August 2007: Forget this. Who cares if it is a "one off"? How many other one offs will there be? This isn't Jerry Springer or Maury Povich where a one off is just a regular and every day thing.
She's meddling, he gave in, and somehow she knows a bunch of... (read in full...)
I'm getting mixed signals from my boyfriend.
Q. I'm getting mixed signals from my boyfriend. He is 19 and I am 18 and we've been together for around 18 months now. My problem is that about a month ago he started acting funny with me, blowing hot and cold all the time, never seeing me on my own ...
A. 15 August 2007: You'll have to get him to open up. It could be anything, but being his girlfriend, that means you're there for him and he should realize this. If he claims it isn't any of your business, tell him how it is making you feel neglected and therefore ... (read in full...)
I'm just really confused because he hurt me and I don't really want anything to do with him but I just can't stop thinking about him.
Q. I used to go out with this guy, and he really loved me. But he dumped me by text and it wrecked me. I thought I was over him, but now I realised that I'm not and part of me is saying that I do love him but I really dont want to love him. Now I'm ...
A. 15 August 2007: You want closure due to the way he did it and you're focusing on this, so the more you think about it, the more you think you want him back even though you know it is wrong.
For now, go out with your friends. Meet other people. Don't go crazy or... (read in full...)
I always swore to myself that I'd never be a victim, and just writing this, I feel like one...
Q. I have a boyfriend whom I love very much.. He's a nice guy, usually. And he treats me well. He'd never hit me, and he doesn't hurt me on purpose.. He's a little older than me, and sometimes I don't understand things, or I don't know things, and I'm ...
A. 15 August 2007: If you're 16-17 and he's over a decade older, you two shouldn't be together in the first place. There is something wrong there. ... (read in full...)
Just as we were saying goodbye we hugged for a very long time then came away slowly still holding each other and just stared into each other's eyes...
Q. I have been madly in love with this guy I met at college for almost 2 years. I have always felt that he has feelings for me but he finds it very difficult to show emotion due to personal reasons. I saw him the other week and we spent all day ...
A. 15 August 2007: He like you, but is afraid. You said he doesn't show much emotion due to personal reasons, this is part of that. However don't just sit around and let him keep you in his back pocket though.... (read in full...)
I found out my girlfriend made out with some guy and went down on him at that party.
Q. My girlfriend and I had been dating for a few weeks when she cheated on me with another guy. She confessed about it to a friend of hers, and told me about it at a party a week after it happened. She only told me she kissed him though. A couple ...
A. 15 August 2007: Yeah, forget about it. It doesn't matter if that first one was a "one time thing". How many other one time things will come up?
If she claims she loved you so much and days later went down on some other due, she'd full of crap. I doubt yo... (read in full...)
Is it okay that my 32 year old boyfriend said some thirteen year olds "look good?"
Q. Is it okay that my 32 year old boyfriend said some thirteen year olds "look good?" We were talking about teenagers for some reason and he said that but didn't go into their body parts or saying anything sexual about them. He babysits his 8 year ...
A. 15 August 2007: Even though it may be disturbing that he said it, acting on it is another thing. There are actually many 13-15 year olds that look like they are 18 and sometimes older. On top of that they tend to dress like hoochies.
Does he have a wanderin... (read in full...)
How and what do I do to win her over? I'm crazy in love with this girl and I don't wanna give up on her
Q. Now, I know what 99% of people are going to think, but I love her. I'm 18 and she's 16. We were together for just over 2 months (yeah, not exactly the longest relationship I know but I fell for her fast). Things were going great, she was the one ...
A. 15 August 2007: Yep. Stop. Those relationships that start off fast with people saying their in love withing a month or two tend to crash just as fast in most cases.
Walk away and see if she walks away too or follows you and tries to catch up to walk with you... (read in full...)
He'd rather masturbate to porn than have sex with me.
Q. I have been married about 5 years. My husband wanted to have babies when we were dating so I said I would but only if we get married. So then we got married. I got pregnant but he never wanted to have sex unless it was to make a baby. Once I was ...
A. 15 August 2007: You have two options. Neither are easy and both will harm the children, but you must decide which will hurt them less.
a) Keep the status quo in a loveless marriage and end up in a dysfunctional family situation, with your children growing ... (read in full...)
I'm so confused by his actions.
Q. Does he like me or not? There is a guy who I kissed a while ago, one of his best friends said he liked me but he doesen't want a girlfriend, he got hurt badly a while ago and just wants to have fun with his friends and not get hurt again. We do talk ...
A. 15 August 2007: Sounds like he is confused himself, probably from being burnt in the past. So he decides to confuse you and wants to keep you in his back pocket.
You can either ride out his emotional instability (not recommended), or make him decide. Make it ... (read in full...)
She doesn't think she deserves to be happy, and keeps leaving me.
Q. I have been dating a woman on and off for six months. The first four were bliss then she got scared and we spilt for a month, and recently got back together, and after two weeks of bliss, she left again, saying she does not know how to handle how ...
A. 14 August 2007: An all too familiar question. In most of my break ups what came out more often than not has been that I trreated her too well. I'm sure you have heard of the fear of success and that is what this is. You also mention that her father is an alc... (read in full...)
Two women love me, but I only like them as friends. How do I let them know?
Q. so thnx for reading. well i need sum serious advice and asap! their are 2 ppl who are completely in love w/ me and have confessed this to me...i how ever do not feel the same towards either of them.they are both females. and i only love as ...
A. 14 August 2007: Simply say that you wish to only remain friends and that is all you can offer. You simply do not feel the same way. If they want to talk about it, talk about it, but let them know it does not change things. If one or both cannot respect this dec... (read in full...)
My ex returned out of nowhere after 4 years, and now he's gone again
Q. I have an ex that I haven't spoken to in 4 years. He never wrote back when I wrote (once a year, Merry Christmas type emails) but recently responded to an email. I replied, and he responded with questions about where I was living etc. I answered ...
A. 14 August 2007: Some would do it out of random politeness and some would do it out of ulterior motives. I have no definitive answer. I once had a girlfriend whose ex called her every year around the same time. It was always, "Hey, how ya doing, remember when we ... (read in full...)
I can't seem to get over my ex even though I know I need to move on
Q. I feel betrayed by my ex. We were together for two years and with plans to marry. I gave him my virginity and he knew most of my secrets and family private stuff. I was the one who dumped him but because he started changing and betraying me ...
A. 14 August 2007: You are remembering the good moments and therefore have trouble letting go. I don't know your exact situation, but if he hurt you that badly, you must let go. You know those women who end up on talk shows because their husbands beat them and they ... (read in full...)
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