A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:has anyone got any views on this? my ex partner, who can be abusive, said a few things to me when i was with him which makes me wonder does he stalk me. one time i was going to put a curtain up at my back door as you can see right into my house, and he said in a joking way 'dont put that up as when we are split up i cant come and see whos in the house'. i also have to park my car away from my home at night and he asked me did i always put my car in the same place every night. it makes me wonder does he stalk me. but i thought stalking was when people constantly ring you or come bothering you etc..
View related questions:
my ex, split up, stalking Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2007): I have been "stalked" by an ex once before. It's a way for people like that to feel like they still have some sort of control. Before you run to the police or take any serious legal action try this...
You MUST cut off all contact with your ex if you haven't already. (Now, if you for some reason agreed to be "friends", which a lot of people do, at least cut off all contact for 60 days). Change your number, invest in caller ID, change your email, make any social networking account (like myspace or facebook) private... make it impossible for him to reach you. To be safe, YES, put up that curtain! I believe that it's a punishable offense for him to be lurking on your property, or to be a "Peeping Tom" from a distance. If it's possible, park your car somewhere else and please be safe. Knowing basic self defense can save your life. Heck, I carry pepper spray in my purse whenever I know I'll have to walk alone.
In my experience stalking was a way for my ex to see when/if I was beginning to move on. This could be very painful for him and if he is stalking and finds something he doesn't like he will most likely A. Get bored with it all and stop or B. Go completely bonkers. Hope for option A, but prepare yourself for option B.
A
male
reader, somewhat_anonymous  +, writes (18 August 2007):
Do exactly what Birdynumnums said.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 Should you be suspicious? By now you should be convinced. He said both things deliberately to let you know that he is watching you, and that IS Stalking. You should notify the police and get a restraining order. Keep a journal and enter everything with dates, phone calls, things he says, visits, bumping into you in public places. Put curtains on your windows. Make sure your doors and windows have good locks. Let ALL of you neighbours know that he doesn't belong there anymore and to notify you or the police if he is near your house. Tell all your family, friends and a trusted co-worker about the situation as well, in case you need to call someone, they will already know that he has been a problem. It could have been an empty threat. He might not be any problem at all in the future, but if he is, you will be ready to handle it. You should be on your guard in order to keep yourself safe. Good Luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (18 August 2007):
 Stalking come in different ways and the phoning and pestering are things that are easy to prove if you ever needed to go to the police about it.
Him looking through your back window is an invasion of privacy and trespassing if he is in your garden, and i think it would be classed as stalking.
If you are worried about him doing this you could see about getting some cameras fitted to the front and back of your house, or see if you can get an injunction out on him stop him coming near your house.
Take care.xx.
...............................
|
