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| | *omewhat_anonymous's profile:No Nonsense, No Sugar-coating:
A straightforward FAQ
Q: Should I have an affair?
A: Absolutely not, I wish Jerry Springer was popular again so you'd know why and I'd see this question less than three times a day. No, don't say, "but..." the answer is still "NO" and you know it. NO! NEVER DO IT!
Q: Is my penis big enough? Why does it look different?
A: An average penis is 5-7 inches. Less than that can still do the job and if you are worried, use something besides what is between your legs. And if everyone has a different face, why would genitals be different in this aspect? They come in different shapes and sizes, so you're probably normal. Same with vaginas.
Q: We had unprotected sex, but he pulled out before he had an orgasm, how did I become pregnant?
A: Um, when did they stop teaching Sex Ed? Just because he didn't shoot, doesn't mean his dribbling precum didn't have sperm. It only takes one of his little tadpoles to swim across the finish line.
Q: Dude, my sister is so hot, should I ask her to have sex with me?
A: HELLS NAW! That's called incest and it is illegal. If you have a kid, he/she would probably be retarded or genetically defective in some way. You are only hot for her because she is the female closest to you.
Q: I'm 40 and want to date this 11 year old. Is this okay?
A: No, that is disgusting, you're a pedophile, get help.
Q: My significant other abuses me physically and/or emotionally and I want to stay, how do I go about this?
A: Leave. Leave him/her right now. You know those women on Oprah that you'd say are crazy for staying with the wifebeater? Well, that's you. Stand up for yourself, don't be a doormat, and walk.
Q: Everything is going great, why do I want to leave him/her?
A: Remember the first Matrix movie? The main agent said that the original Matrix design was a world with no pain or consequence. The human mind could not accept this and everyone woke up. It didn't work until pain and consequence were introduced. Think on that. There is much truth to reality. Other than that, you may have a fear of success, or be seeking a challenge. Americans do well under stress, we are used to it. We don't know how to handle things when they go well, much like a child doesn't know how to handle freedom.
Q; I'm a pregnant teen and don't know if I should keep this baby or tell anyone.
A: We'll I don't have a definitive answer, but let's hope this helps. First, I don't see how you will keep it from your parents at your age. Your best bet is to be honest and tell them right now. If you are worried that your entire life will stop and you'll drop out, let me hopefully provide you with inspiration. I have a female co-worker, she got pregnant when she was 16. She kept the baby and finished high school ON TIME and in mostly HONORS CLASSES! She finished college on time. She is now a teacher in her mid 20's with three kids and a husband that is the father of all three kids. She is finishing up her masters degree and she always has enough money to go on vacation, even though her husband works part-time and is going to school. Of course this is not the norm and it takes a supportive family/families and the guy has to be there too, but it is not impossible! NEVER have an abortion just because the guy threatens to leave. On top of that, a lot of young mothers are worried until the baby is born and would have regretted the decision to have an abortion. for more inspiration on this matter look at this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/for-all-young-women.html
Other people on this site that are very helpful that you can trust:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/flower_girl
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/birdynumnums |
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I want her, but can't have her. I have ethics, but they are weakening. Please advise.
Q. She is with a buddy of mine. It was love at first sight, atleast for me, she compliments me completely. It is against my ethics to break up a relationship, even if she is my one and only, plus she has too much integrity to leave one man for another ...
A. 19 September 2007: Good luck, but I must also say to you that many of us have said and will say that we have found the most compatible one or soulmate, only to be completely wrong.
Realize that you must wait until their relationship ends, but also realize that you... (read in full...)
What are the chances that I may be preganant?
Q. i really need some help i know it was stupid but ok my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time yesterday we did it twice the first time with a condom then the second time to be able to get deeper we didnt and he came just as he pulled out so how ...
A. 16 September 2007: In any case there is a chance you could be pregnant, but if he started to drip right after he pulles out, how do you know he didn't acidentally start dripping right before he pulled out? This could definitely increase the chance.... (read in full...)
What is he thinking? He says he's impressed with my maturity and enjoys our conversations.
Q. What is he thinking? Please analyze this with me and offer your opinions and suggestions. Thank you! I met a man who is ten years older than me (I am 25 years old) on an internet network about four months ago. We have been exchanging email...
A. 16 September 2007: As paranoid as 88jane's post seems those are always chances. Online dating isn't the good idea it seems to be. A lot of people that are on there end up there because they can't handle a relationship and thinks this will save them part of the ... (read in full...)
Why have I started to get irritated with my girlfriend over little things?
Q. im 18 and have been with my girlfriend two years and have recently began to get a bit irritated with her over little things. She is quite immature and her mum is also and she is quite spoilt and manipulative and always thinks she is being hard done ...
A. 16 September 2007: It might just be taking its toll on you. Maybe other things are bothering you now too and it amplifies the effect of her annoying tendencies.
Take a step back and ask yourself where you see this whole thing going. Do you see it going much lon... (read in full...)
I want her, but can't have her. I have ethics, but they are weakening. Please advise.
Q. She is with a buddy of mine. It was love at first sight, atleast for me, she compliments me completely. It is against my ethics to break up a relationship, even if she is my one and only, plus she has too much integrity to leave one man for another ...
A. 16 September 2007: Been in that situation many of times. You know what you must do. You must wait. It is hard, but you say he is an idiot and will probably lose her anyway. She may just come running to you. Or you may have to make the effort after it happens. ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance he likes me? What can I do?
Q. Okay so i have a big crush on my friend that i have known since we were 3. He is a month younger than me so he got put into the year below me and he has just come to my secondary school. We dont hardly talk now but sometimes i feel him staring at ...
A. 16 September 2007: Well, don't just walk up to him and ask, talk to him and work it in the conversation. Or have a conversation and judge how well that goes. Have you told anyone about your crush? If so, maybe word got around to him and he's thinking about you the ... (read in full...)
He's cheated on me twice and has hi me 3 times... I've found somebody else, but I'm not sure where to go from here
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for a year now and hes cheated twice and hit me 3 times. he was genuinlly sorry but everytime i try talk to him about it he ignors me and the only person i feel i can talk to is another boy and now me and him keep sleeping ...
A. 16 September 2007: You don't know? It is obvious, leave the cheating abuser. You don't need that. If he had been genuinely sorry, he wouldn't have done it, especially multiple times.... (read in full...)
What are the chances that I may be preganant?
Q. i really need some help i know it was stupid but ok my boyfriend and i had sex for the first time yesterday we did it twice the first time with a condom then the second time to be able to get deeper we didnt and he came just as he pulled out so how ...
A. 16 September 2007: Pretty much exactly what RCN says. A condom is so thin, it doesn't really help him get deeper. The only thing I can add is asking how long after the first time was the second time? Was it soon, and did he clean himself? You may have just ... (read in full...)
How many times a week should a guy in my position masturbate in a week?
Q. Am really wondering how often somebody without a partner especially a boy(20-25yrs) should mustarbate in a week if its right at all...
A. 16 September 2007: There's no set number. Basically, you're okay if it isn't interrupting your normal life. If it gets in the way of going to school or work or paying your bills because you just cannot stop, then you're experiencing a problem.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to mess with other girls when she's in college?
Q. It's very hard to see my girlfriend in college while I'm still in high school and I'm feeling extremely lonely. If you love someone, is it ok to mess with other girls when she's in college?...
A. 14 September 2007: Um, HELL NO! Of course it isn't okay and you damn well it isn't. Do you want her to mess around with other dudes just because you aren't there? There's a reason why it is called cheating. If you really "love" her, you wouldn't be thinking of ... (read in full...)
How can I ask out the girl I like? Any tips?
Q. i really admire a girl in my skool. i want to ask her out face 2 face but dont kno how? any tips on wot i cud say? how to start? how to make it less emarassin? fanx...
A. 14 September 2007: I agree with that last one...fanx? cud? wot? Ditch all of that. Act like she's not a girl you really like. How much easier is it to talk to someone you are not infatuated with? What would you normally say? Talk to her like that and once she ... (read in full...)
I had sex, but the condom broke and he came ouside me and onto my stomach, should I be worried?
Q. Last Friday I had sex, but the condom broke and he came ouside me and onto my stomach, should I be worried? I'm not experienced with sex and I didn't think anything of it until my boyfriend said he was kind of freaked out. I was at my most fertile ...
A. 14 September 2007: It depends on when it broke. If it broke when he was inside of you, then some sperm could have slipped through from his pre-cum, but it is much less likely as I believe a lot of condoms have spermicide. And if you are sure all of his sperm came ... (read in full...)
I showed her how to do the problem, but I didn't flirt with her or make any jokes. Now she seems very angry...
Q. She rejected me about 1 week ago. She is my friend and I made sure that she only wanted to be friends, she said yes. I really liked her for several years (just about how long our friendship has been). Anyway, today a different girl asked me for h...
A. 14 September 2007: No, this is how some people just are, you did nothing wrong. Even though you were rejected, it doesn't mean that she didn't like the attention. Now that you're giving it to someone else, it is making her jealous. Perhaps she is even reconsidering ... (read in full...)
Can a 17 year old be jailed for impregnating a 14 year old?
Q. can a 17 year old male get put in jail for getting a 14 year old female pregnant...
A. 14 September 2007: It may depend on what state you are in. I think it is usually not until you are 18 that you can be jailed and then I've even heard that if you are 18 you can have sex with someone two years younger or less.
However, in most states I think th... (read in full...)
If a female family member is home alone with her relative's husband, what are the chances she will have sex with him?
Q. what do think the chances are of a female family member on the wife's side having sex with the husband if she moves in with the husband and wife. especially if she is alone with him alot while is wife is at work....
A. 14 September 2007: There is no one size fits all answer. It depends on both of those people. Do you have a reason to distrust either of them?... (read in full...)
I love him and he loves me but he used to be my teacher; should I back off? He's afraid of the ramifications
Q. ive fallen for my ex teacher.I am 18 hes 27.We get along great.I told him how i feel ,and he feels same!however he is scared to take it further because of his job.its making me so angry that two people cant be together when we're both adults.He ...
A. 14 September 2007: If he's freaking out, it might be best to leave it at least for now. Although if you are not a student at the school now, he might be freaking out over nothing or just what his colleagues might say.... (read in full...)
Would getting in shape and getting a job make me more attractive?
Q. Looking for a womans advice here... I'm not in the best of shape (I'm not fat, but I ama bit above average), and I'm unemployed atm, I was wondering if I would appear more attractive to women if I got into bettr shape and landed myself a job. ...
A. 13 September 2007: I am no woman, but i can tell you that most of them will say: OF COURSE!!!... (read in full...)
In love with the girl I can't have, how do I go about this?
Q. Alright, i have several questions. I have been friends with this girl for several years. I have told her how i felt a few times and each time, she kindly rejects me.Yhe last time i told her how i felt was about 2 fridays ago. I really really like ...
A. 13 September 2007: A lot of times we fall in love with what we cannot have...that isn't accurate, we WANT what we cannot have and it kills us inside and drives us crazy. It's basic psychology and a fact of being human. How to get over it? You probably can't i... (read in full...)
Want to turn a straight guy bi and I have a boyfriend...
Q. If you have a boyfriend and you love him so much that you'd do anything to be with him and you want to turn a straight guy bi, is it still cheating even if you don't want to date him?...
A. 13 September 2007: Straight guy bi? Does that mean you will do something with him sexually? Then OF COURSE IT DOES! If you mean you're turning him bi just to do it and not touch him, then I have to question what the point of that is and why you won't just accep... (read in full...)
I have no interests anymore, and no motivation. Please help!
Q. Hello everyone, I need some help from anyone willing to give me advice. In the past I have made many bad decisions in life. My parents have never been a very good influence in my life at all, and still aren't, and I have not many friends, as I move ...
A. 12 September 2007: I think you're just tired. You're paying for past mistakes and no one has been there to guide you. You move around so your life is fragmented and you never have time to finish something you may have started. Your subconscious is feeling like ... (read in full...)
I'm married to a great man, but I think I'm in love with his brother, who makes me feel really special.
Q. I'm married to a great man he works hard for us but things havent been going well for a while i feel the love has gone out of our relationship. He's quite a bit older than me but his brother makes me feel really special he's made a few pass...
A. 12 September 2007: Eeverybody that has answered this so far holds a piece of the puzzle. They're all right and so are your friends.... (read in full...)
18th birthday and no gift...
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a problem, and I'm not sure what I should be feeling. Today is my 18th birthday. I've had a brilliant day in all, and I'm very thankful for everything I recieved.. But something has got to me. A month or so ago I split up w...
A. 12 September 2007: Yeah, I'm with DJ. You "just got sick of her" and now you expect a gift. Seriously, you're not together any more, why would you expect anything from her? Have you even established that you're still friends? ... (read in full...)
I was in an abusive relationship and we have a son. He wants us back, what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend and i broke up about a month ago and we have a 7 mo old son. Our relationship was unhealthy we fought all the time. We both physically abused each other i quit talking to all my friends and did what he said when he said it. Now he is ...
A. 12 September 2007: If he was abusive, then hell no. What's to stop him from abusing your son. But then again, you said you were abusive too. What's preventing you from abusing him? Perhaps you and your ex need counseling, whether or not you get back together.... (read in full...)
We've been fighting for seven years. Can we work this out?
Q. Hi, well I am in a situation that I don't know how to get out of. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 7 years. All of 7 we fight. She is very aggressive, tempered. I am kind of scared of her but then again I'm not. Everyday we argue. ...
A. 12 September 2007: Leave her. Now. You don't deserve being hit. I think you're more worried about what she'll do if you tell her you're leaving her, but you must.
How much love can there be if you're scared of her. Look at what it is doing to you, triggeri... (read in full...)
I cannot get an erection while masturbating. What should I do?
Q. Hey, I am worried. I cannot have an erection when I want to, even when thinking about sexual fantasies. I've tried to masturbate in the past but I just don't get aroused by pretending. Any time I even try to put my hand on my penis, it tickles ...
A. 11 September 2007: Maybe you're body is bored. Or maybe your mind. Change something up, like the way you do it or look at something instead of just thoughts.... (read in full...)
I feel really bad on her boyfriend and wouldn't have got involved if I didn't want to really make a go of it with her.
Q. Hi guys. Just wondered your take on this. I'm in an affair as the other man. We are very much in love an it would be amazing for both of us if she were available (bottom line is she aint!!!). Now they aint married an no kids an she thinks she can ...
A. 10 September 2007: Thinking you can see a future in this is no excuse for what you're doing. If she's really in love with you, she'd have left him by now...or is she in love with him too? Well, now it just gets complicated.
She's got to come to a decision... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?
Q. How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?...
A. 10 September 2007: Sorry if it seems like I am responding to other people's responses, but hopefully it helps out the original person to ask the question, but to this "Um does your dad or mom have tons of friends of the opposite sex while they were married?? Yeah. I ... (read in full...)
Is it easy to get laid in college?
Q. Alright, so I'm wondering if the rumours about how easy it is to get laid in college is true. I'm in my last year of highschool so I really look forward to moving out and going to college and whatnot, and everyone goes on about how easy it is to ge...
A. 10 September 2007: It depends on the college, but in many it is easy. There are many parties and much drunkenness so it can also lead to those easy opportunities to make a mistake. And in some colleges, it is also easy to get an STD.... (read in full...)
Is he ready to finish with me?
Q. I have a boyfriend and when we are together everything is really great. The one problem is we don't see much of each other, when I make an effort to meet him he is really vague towards me and doesn't call when he says he will, what to do!?...
A. 10 September 2007: He could be ready to end it, but let's not jump the gun on that one. Has he been vague only recently? And when you do see him are things still great?... (read in full...)
I'm going crazy. Should I call him or is it too soon?
Q. My boyfriend (27) and I (26) have been dating for two years. Two weeks ago, he told me he's not in love with me anymore and that he needs a break. He was everything a girl could ever dream of in a man. He truly could not have been a more perfect ...
A. 10 September 2007: Well, he might have met somebody else, but I don't think so. It could be pressure of the changes in schedules and such, but there might be something else going on he isn't telling you. He said he wanted to marry you, and have kids and that wa... (read in full...)
She never calls me, I always have to call her first yet she calls her friends with no problems.
Q. dear cupid Hope you are fine. I have a girlfreind who I love so much, but the problem is that, I don't know if this girl loves me as much as I do her, this girl does not call me at all, I have to call her everytime... even if I send her air time... ...
A. 10 September 2007: The first response can work as some girls (and guys) just don't know how to handle a relationship. However, some girls think that the guy should be doing ALL the work. It is frustrating, but sometimes the best way to judge is how she is with you ... (read in full...)
I have been with my boyfriend for thirteen years. I recently feel as if I want to get married and start a family but he doesn't...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for thirteen years. I recently feel as if I want to get married and start a family but he doesn't, I am unsure if I should call it a day or just carry on waiting....
A. 10 September 2007: It has been thirteen years. If he hasn't proposed yet, it is unlikely he will. Don't stay withhim to wait for a proposal. You have to ask yourself, is it worth dumping him and ending what you have because he doesn't want an official marriage? ... (read in full...)
My friend said stuff to her on my computer (my MSN) so she thinks I'm a complete weirdo now.
Q. OK so I've got a bit of a problem and it's bugging me big time. A couple weeks ago I went on a few dates with a girl and I really liked her, usually if I'm with a girl my intentions are pretty obvious, but with her it was different, I really liked ...
A. 10 September 2007: There's not a whole lot you can do. All you can really do is tell her what happened, try to continue on as if the creepy messages weren't sent, and hope for the best. Meanwhile smack your "friend" upside the head.... (read in full...)
I think I may have got myself into a difficult situation and I need advice.
Q. Hi, I think I may have got myself into a difficult situation and I need advice. A few months ago I came out of a long term and very long distance relationship. It had been very difficult and I was crushed when it ended. Nearly two months later I ...
A. 10 September 2007: It seemed like you began to get over him if you stopped comparing them. But to help you out more, what kind of emails is your ex sending? Is he being friend-like or is he being mean or is he saying how much he misses you? And how far will you and ... (read in full...)
If we do split up how am I going to tell him I'm pregnant? He's been getting phone calls saying I'm cheating on him when I'm not!
Q. I just found out I'm pregnant - I did a test last week and it said yes, I'm scared but that isn't the issue here. I don't really have any symptoms except feeling bloated [I only took a test because I'm 3 weeks late] does this mean I'll miscarry? B...
A. 9 September 2007: Just tell him the truth. You'll need to tell him eventually. If he is so unsure, agree to have a DNA test when the baby is born, unless there is a way to do it before you have the baby. It still may look like you are trying to change his mind and ... (read in full...)
We all played spin the bottle and I ended up having sex! Help!
Q. i had a birthday party yesterday, well it was my mums birthday party and all my family came and all my mums friends came. me and my cousin got very drunk and we went upstairs out of the way, we was playing spin the bottle and the things where gettin ...
A. 9 September 2007: This is not something to simply forget. That is why the world gets so screwed up, people forget about the mistakes of the past and then repeat them. This is something to think about and ask yourself how it got so far. That doesn't mean dwell on ... (read in full...)
He says that he's not sure about getting married anymore. He wants to be sure before we even get officially engaged.
Q. Hello, about a month ago, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. It was very low key (there wasn't even a ring) and he said that we were going to redo it later on to make it more official. I was really excited of course and I can't wait to start my ...
A. 9 September 2007: I agree with pleasehelpme. He is going through a rough time, and his friend's divorce has probably scared him into taking a step back. You're a victim of bad timing. He may have had some slight cold feet about making the engagement official and ... (read in full...)
Since I know that electrical faults can cause house fires I've become paranoid. Please help.
Q. I know when you read this a lot of you are going to say i'm paranoid and maybe i am but what can i do? Well i'm just absolutly scared of something bad happening like a fire or something at home, i don't know why i just am. The thing is its ruin...
A. 9 September 2007: You might be Obsessive-compulsive or have a lot of anxieties. In fact you sound like me, but to the extreme. I have a lot of weird fears like this too, but think it through and that is why I never got to the point you are at. Some times I think ... (read in full...)
Don't know whether I have the right to be mad but seems to me he's playing games with me!
Q. I'm tired of a lot of things. I'm talking about A LOT of things. How is it that certain boys become somewhat of a weakness for me? I was sort of seeing this guy. I guess I say that because when we hang out... and he acts a certain way with me. He ...
A. 9 September 2007: Sweetie, you've got every right to be mad. He's confusing you because it sounds like he's pretty damned confused himself. I don't know if he's intentionally playing games or just doesn't know what the hell he is doing. It is possible that he's ... (read in full...)
Am I being unrealistic when I sit here and hope to experience that magic feeling?
Q. Hi I'm very confused right now. I'm in my 30s looking for something which most people I speak to say will never happen. I've been in a few relationships, with the longest being for 6 years which ended last year. The reason we finished is that I am ...
A. 9 September 2007: I am tempted to both agree and disagree with the responses already made. It really depends on how realistic your expectations are of others and what you think will create that magical feeling. That being said, most people think they know what they ... (read in full...)
Since I cheated too, we're "even-steven," but I don't know if this means he will be unfaithful again.
Q. My boyfriend cheated on me the other day. But...i did the same to him... i cheated with an ex. He knows, i told him, and he told me he cheated on me. We're being honest with each other, which he really appreciates. But he said he was upset and mad ...
A. 9 September 2007: I am agreeing with the first response. You sound like the kind of couple that instead of working out problems will just try to get even with each other in a hurtful way. I guess you could rtry it and see if it really is cool, but it may not be. ... (read in full...)
I am currently in a marriage where all we do is argue. I feel at times my wife is treating me like a child.
Q. I am currently in a marriage where all we do is argue. I feel at times my wife is treating me like a child. There are times when we have gone out and she has embarassed me in front of friends and family. About a year ago I had a slight breakdown and ...
A. 9 September 2007: I agree with the first two responses. Have some self-respect and then demand respect from her. Stand up for yourself.
You are seeing the signs of your split rear its ugly head again. Then be prepared for this to be a recurring theme. If you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a break, but I'm worried he will split with me for good?
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in college) have been dating for about 7.5 months now. I've had other boyfriends before but he's the first one I've felt strongly about; strongly enough to tell him how I felt. Just lately, we've been drifting. So we decided ...
A. 9 September 2007: Both in college means different colleges? Far away colleges? If so, then this is actually a natural time that relationships end. I'm sorry to have to say that, but it is truth. You'll both get busy with your lives and planning for future careers, ... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?
Q. How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?...
A. 9 September 2007: Here's the thing, and responding directly to Sweet-thing in this as well, yeah, women can be very territorial. Men can understand this, but some of you women have to understand that men are allowed to have female friends and you have no right to ... (read in full...)
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