A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship for 4 years, when my boyfriend and I have sex, he is in the mood so much more then I am. He does not like to forplay and but likes to go right to it. I cant get hot going right to it. so most of the time im just laying there not feeling anything. I dont want to be like that cause its not fair to my man and plus i feel stupid doing it. so sometimes i make myself hot so i can enjoy it when he wants sex. or he lays there and somtimes touches me even though I know he does not want to. how do I make myself in the mood when we dont do forplay. I cant get in the mood. and also I can go weeks with no sex, dont get me wrong hes realy good at sex. i mean its not him, but im never wanting sex. my mind wants it but not my body. why is all this happening and what can i do to make it better cause its not helping our relationship.
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male
reader, somewhat_anonymous +, writes (19 August 2007):
I think he should just do the foreplay. It shouldn't just be all about his enjoyment. Why should he use your vagina without letting you have something more out of it?
I don't know about helping your libido, but everyone is different. And guys a lot of times need to have sex more than women. Humans and animals were built to reproduce, that's why our testicles are so sensitive to pain. We'll protect them to much greater lengths that way. Even though we were built to reproduce, men aren't on a complex schedule. It's 1) get ready, 2) release, 3) Recharge, 4) repeat, while women have monthly cycles..
So when he's got enough new soldiers ready, his body says "okay, it's time to send these guys off to do their job" and he gets horny. That's why guys masturbate more, they physically need to let it out. Some will argue this, but then you have to ask why it's been proven that guys who have orgasms more often are less likely to develop prostate cancer or other problems. Hope this can at least help you understand it more.
A
female
reader, so sick +, writes (18 August 2007):
First of all...I TOTTALY UNDERSTAND!!!! I am in your position also!!!!!!!!! ITS CRAZY..you said it perfectly! My bf likes foreplay but still...when he actually puts his dick in it just doesnt have much feeling ya know!? I understand...its like my mind...it want to have sex and love it and enjoy it soo much...and sometimes I have more feeling than other times...but at the same time I just dont want to actually have sex..i can also go weeks w/o sex but my BF wants it all day every day! I want to want to have sex more and enjoy it more...i want more sensation down there!!! PLEASE HELP US!?
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 You should not have to make yourself in the mood, love making is a joint thing and i think this may be the problem.
You boyfriend is being very selfish in the way that he wants to have sex with out the foreplay and because you know he does not want foreplay you find it hard to get aroused.
Has it always been like this or is it something that has happened more recently? have you got any other problems in your relationship? are you or your boyfriend under any stress?
You really need to sit down and have a talk about the way you are feeling and see how he is feeling and why he is not interested in foreplay, maybe after that if you think you could do with some help then you could visit your doctor and see if they could refer you for some sex counselling.
Take care.xx.
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