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| | *omewhat_anonymous's profile:No Nonsense, No Sugar-coating:
A straightforward FAQ
Q: Should I have an affair?
A: Absolutely not, I wish Jerry Springer was popular again so you'd know why and I'd see this question less than three times a day. No, don't say, "but..." the answer is still "NO" and you know it. NO! NEVER DO IT!
Q: Is my penis big enough? Why does it look different?
A: An average penis is 5-7 inches. Less than that can still do the job and if you are worried, use something besides what is between your legs. And if everyone has a different face, why would genitals be different in this aspect? They come in different shapes and sizes, so you're probably normal. Same with vaginas.
Q: We had unprotected sex, but he pulled out before he had an orgasm, how did I become pregnant?
A: Um, when did they stop teaching Sex Ed? Just because he didn't shoot, doesn't mean his dribbling precum didn't have sperm. It only takes one of his little tadpoles to swim across the finish line.
Q: Dude, my sister is so hot, should I ask her to have sex with me?
A: HELLS NAW! That's called incest and it is illegal. If you have a kid, he/she would probably be retarded or genetically defective in some way. You are only hot for her because she is the female closest to you.
Q: I'm 40 and want to date this 11 year old. Is this okay?
A: No, that is disgusting, you're a pedophile, get help.
Q: My significant other abuses me physically and/or emotionally and I want to stay, how do I go about this?
A: Leave. Leave him/her right now. You know those women on Oprah that you'd say are crazy for staying with the wifebeater? Well, that's you. Stand up for yourself, don't be a doormat, and walk.
Q: Everything is going great, why do I want to leave him/her?
A: Remember the first Matrix movie? The main agent said that the original Matrix design was a world with no pain or consequence. The human mind could not accept this and everyone woke up. It didn't work until pain and consequence were introduced. Think on that. There is much truth to reality. Other than that, you may have a fear of success, or be seeking a challenge. Americans do well under stress, we are used to it. We don't know how to handle things when they go well, much like a child doesn't know how to handle freedom.
Q; I'm a pregnant teen and don't know if I should keep this baby or tell anyone.
A: We'll I don't have a definitive answer, but let's hope this helps. First, I don't see how you will keep it from your parents at your age. Your best bet is to be honest and tell them right now. If you are worried that your entire life will stop and you'll drop out, let me hopefully provide you with inspiration. I have a female co-worker, she got pregnant when she was 16. She kept the baby and finished high school ON TIME and in mostly HONORS CLASSES! She finished college on time. She is now a teacher in her mid 20's with three kids and a husband that is the father of all three kids. She is finishing up her masters degree and she always has enough money to go on vacation, even though her husband works part-time and is going to school. Of course this is not the norm and it takes a supportive family/families and the guy has to be there too, but it is not impossible! NEVER have an abortion just because the guy threatens to leave. On top of that, a lot of young mothers are worried until the baby is born and would have regretted the decision to have an abortion. for more inspiration on this matter look at this: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/for-all-young-women.html
Other people on this site that are very helpful that you can trust:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/frank_b_kermit
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/flower_girl
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/birdynumnums |
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How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?
Q. How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?...
A. 10 September 2007: Sorry if it seems like I am responding to other people's responses, but hopefully it helps out the original person to ask the question, but to this "Um does your dad or mom have tons of friends of the opposite sex while they were married?? Yeah. I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a break, but I'm worried he will split with me for good?
Q. My boyfriend and I (both in college) have been dating for about 7.5 months now. I've had other boyfriends before but he's the first one I've felt strongly about; strongly enough to tell him how I felt. Just lately, we've been drifting. So we decided ...
A. 9 September 2007: Both in college means different colleges? Far away colleges? If so, then this is actually a natural time that relationships end. I'm sorry to have to say that, but it is truth. You'll both get busy with your lives and planning for future careers, ... (read in full...)
We only just met but are already arguing. Whats going on?
Q. Hi there im looking for HELP!!!!!!! i met this girl 3weeks ago and we are dateting for 1week. but whe had fights already and it was realy bad, but last night whe whent to friends and i had a alot to drink and we had a big fight over it, and i said ...
A. 9 September 2007: Yeah dude, you are not in love in this short period. You have strong feelings, but you can't love her if you barely know her. You are just anticipating a future that might already be in jeopardy.
If you're having fights already, it probably... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive and I have no family to turn to. I'm also pregnant. What can I do?
Q. hello everyone, i am hoping some one can help me iam in a abusive relationship he beats me bad and i love my boy friend i am pregnant 6 months with hes child and i have a 2 year old also hes we have been together 5 years no mater what ...
A. 9 September 2007: You are going to have to leave him if this continues and he may have to leave to find help. A friend of mine has a heroin addict husband and found a place that will do 6 months of rehab. He lives there during that time (but friends and family can ... (read in full...)
My folks think I'm an alcoholic druggie! How do I get them to see sense?
Q. Alright so I've got a problem going on with my folks, they don't trust me at all. They think I'm heavy into drugs, which isn't true, I smoke weed, and I think they've known that for some time, but they're under the impretion recently that I'm into ...
A. 9 September 2007: Well, I don't know what would happen to you legally since you smoke pot, but volunteering to take a drug test might work so they can at least see you aren't doing hard drugs, but confirm the suspicion that you smoke pot (or maybe don't do it for a ... (read in full...)
How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?
Q. How would you feel if your boyfriend had several female friends calling him throughout the day?...
A. 9 September 2007: Here's the thing, and responding directly to Sweet-thing in this as well, yeah, women can be very territorial. Men can understand this, but some of you women have to understand that men are allowed to have female friends and you have no right to ... (read in full...)
My husband gets so unreasonably angry to our children about everything, I feel as though I'm failing them for not being able to avoid this!
Q. Hi,I'm really down,my husband has a serious drink problem,he turns from such a nice person into a real nasty person after a few hours, Always sorry next day,but its the kids i'm worried about,the nightly abuse from his words to them is heartbre...
A. 9 September 2007: Okay, I looked over the fact that you are anonymous and cannot be emailed through here. I guess I will just post it here to make sure you can see it. Maybe it will help others too, and I ask the others who give responses not to respond to me so ... (read in full...)
My husband gets so unreasonably angry to our children about everything, I feel as though I'm failing them for not being able to avoid this!
Q. Hi,I'm really down,my husband has a serious drink problem,he turns from such a nice person into a real nasty person after a few hours, Always sorry next day,but its the kids i'm worried about,the nightly abuse from his words to them is heartbre...
A. 9 September 2007: He needs professional help and alcoholics anonymous or whatever the UK equivalent might be. Your kids retaliating is just them defending themselves from an undeserved attack. Get him into therapy or even couple's counseling on the side too, and if ... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my bf or tell him I was unfaithful? I feel guilty.
Q. Dear cupid, I have been in a serious relationship for exactly 3 years, I love my boyfriend to death but lately we've been going through a ton of problems, mostly trust issues. I had this strong gut feeling that he was cheating on me!!...
A. 9 September 2007: The big problem with Sweet-thing's advice is that it may eat away at you and screw you up. You may eventually need to get it off of your chest anyway. The best thing to do is to tell your boyfriend and lead it into a break up. If things have b... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife after she kept this from me??
Q. I've been with my wife since I was 19 and she was 18. We went to high school together and have a loving marriage of 15 years. Prior to our getting together ( a few weeks) she hooked up with another high school friend and I suspected they had had ...
A. 9 September 2007: Trev is correct. If she is looking at this as rape, many rape victims try to keep it hidden.
In either case you should not look at this as betrayal. If it is a rape case, then do not blame her for not telling you and figure out how she want... (read in full...)
I love him, but he has a 2nd girlfriend!
Q. we go to diffrant schools and he got a second girlfriend so that he will fit in then told me he wouldnt do aything with her but i found out he made out with her i love him and dont wanna break up with him cause i know hes having family problems ...
A. 9 September 2007: Yeah, get rid of him. No one gets a second girlfriend just to fit in. Not to make excuses for him, but if he is having a bunch of family problems, he probably doesn't know how to deal with it and is acting out in weird ways. Perhaps it makes him ... (read in full...)
My mum seems angry and it might be my fault... How do I approach her?
Q. Yesterday my sister and i had a little sibling fight. My mom got angry at us. She thinks it was mostly my fault. I don't think it was my fault because i didn't know that i was causing the fight. This morning she barged into my room while i was ...
A. 9 September 2007: Do what the first two posts say and ask how this could all be your fault if you don't think it is. ... (read in full...)
He said he wants to wait till my pill is sure to work, but I'm afraid by that point he'll just say he wants to wait again...
Q. I'm an 18 year old girl who's dating a 20 year old boy, and for the sake of it, I'll call him "Joe". Joe and I have been dating for about a month, and both of us have had sex before, so it's not like a mammoth decision or anything. The problem is ...
A. 9 September 2007: Well, he might really be freaking out about accidentally having a kid, and/or he could also be lying about having sex before and doesn't know what to do if you two actually do it. Perhaps he did have sex before and something horrible happened. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend went on a date with another girl, we splitted over this, now he wants us to start fresh again. Please advise.
Q. I had been going out with my boyfriend for over five years, we moved in together and things started going downhill between us, I was thinking that he was seeing someone else,so I started checking his mobile, I found a text he sent to his friend ...
A. 9 September 2007: You may love him, you may care for him, and the times you spent may have been special, but that doesn't mean you're compatible.
You couldn't trust him, but he can't trust you since you went through his phone. But all that aside, you lived to... (read in full...)
How can I help him change so I can enjoy a night out without his jealousy ruining it?
Q. last night i went out with a friend i havent seen in 5 months for a drink and my bf didnt stop texting me when i didnt reply back he would text me the same text until i replied and at 10 he sent one that said why i wasnt home yet he then phoned me ...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, he shouldn't have to join you all the time. He could get to know them at some point, and then his trust for them may come. But that is ridiculous. He should know, you have a life outside of him, especially being 200 miles away. Doesn't he ... (read in full...)
We've been best friends, yesterday we ended falling asleep naked in his bed, what can he be thinking of me now?
Q. I have been best friends with this guy, we'll call him James, for about three years. We have been apart for long periods of time, only getting to contact each other by phone or e-mail. Lately our conversations have become more "sexual" in nature, ...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, that's an odd one, lots of naked closeness, but no actual sex...Perhaps this is his lead in to a relationship, with sex, or perhaps he wants that relationship and is afraid that having a sexual relationship could kill friendship. Yet, I don't ... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, it sounds like he's willing to work this out later after some thought, but are you still willing to? If so, wait until you both can go into this calmly, when he can no longer call you names and when you figure out what you want.
Yeah,... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife after she kept this from me??
Q. I've been with my wife since I was 19 and she was 18. We went to high school together and have a loving marriage of 15 years. Prior to our getting together ( a few weeks) she hooked up with another high school friend and I suspected they had had ...
A. 8 September 2007: Okay, so your beginnings aren't as magical as you once believed. Yes, it has opened up a can of worms. But do you have anything else now to doubt? How are the other things/times in your relationship? If the answers are no and good, then ... (read in full...)
What don't guys have that makes them not have kids?
Q. Hi, well this is going to sound qiuet like am a dope, and a bimbo but am really wondering this, I was watching a program and they said that the guy can't have kids, and i started wondering that they say a girl can't have kids if she never has had ...
A. 8 September 2007: Guys have sperm that fertilize the egg. Women have the egg, so the baby grows in the woman because the sperm leaves the man and goes into the woman. Menstruation is a cycle that helps prepare the body for the possibility of getting pregnant... (read in full...)
Unsure about what I'm hearing about a potential boyfriend. What do you think?
Q. ok first off i am dating a boy lets call him "j", well he seems like such a sweet guy, hes a sophmore in high school, i am in my last year of middle school. well my cousin goes to the high school, and she admitted that she wanted a boyfriend and she ...
A. 8 September 2007: They could be making it up out of jealousy. They could be telling the truth. He, of course, will always say what you want to hear. The only thing to do is stay with him if things are going well. If he keeps pushing for you two to have sex ... (read in full...)
He said I will forget about the age difference once we give it a chance. Any views?
Q. I meet a guy a month ago..who's 24 i dont think he realised how old i was ( 17) when he came over started talking to me and asked for my number, i wasnt sure of his age either. A few weeks ago he added me on facebook and he saw how old i was as...
A. 8 September 2007: I think the first response to this raised many good points. He might be thinking of a more mature relationship than you may be ready for, yet you should be really cautious if he's already suggesting drinks. He could be much less mature than the ... (read in full...)
How do I ease my squeeze?
Q. I love, care and respect my fiance to no end. I have so much love to give here yet she feels that I am smothering her. What do I need to do to make her feel more comfortable with me and not feel like I'm smothering her. I want her to be happy for ...
A. 8 September 2007: I think little laura0 put it best. How exactly are you showing her your love? Perhaps you are seeming too needy. Perhaps you are giving her a bunch of gifts and she feels you're buying her love. Let me answer your question with a question:... (read in full...)
It's my cousin! What can I do?
Q. Please, can somone help me? I am in love with my 1st cousin and she has feelings for me but I don't have a problem with her being my cousin but she has been told she would be cut out of familys life if it ever was to happen so i think she's scared ...
A. 8 September 2007: I think part of this is you wanting something you cannot have. Is it worth her getting booted out of the family? Are you sure you wouldn't be booted from the family? There's a higher risk that you'd have deformed or retarded children if it ever ... (read in full...)
Should I marry her??
Q. Dear Cupid: I met a girl two and a half years ago at my church. At the time she was 18 and I was 27 and we were both virgins. At first she was shy, but then she got my phone number from a mutual friend and started calling me on a regular basis ...
A. 8 September 2007: 1. Probably both. 2. Because you do love her. 3. Probably not...at least not yet. Let me paint the picture for you. Two people getting married simply because they feel guilty for not being virgins. Just as sex doesn't make a complete rela... (read in full...)
What should I look for when a relationship is over?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been dating for 1 1/2yrs. we are both 21. We both love one another dearly. The last few weeks we have been arguing over little things. We both get defensive and emotional. Now he is ready to call it quits. He said he is not ...
A. 8 September 2007: No harm in trying to work it out if you don't think the problems are that bad. See if you can figure out what is triggering it and what was going on in your lives when it first started. Try to make him understand that it isn't that bad, unless... (read in full...)
I cheated, and he wants to see me again. What should I do?
Q. ive been seeing a guy for about 3 months. he's really nice and genuine but im not in love with him. he tells me he loves me. the other night i was out with some male company, people who i have known a while. we weren't particularly sober, we had a...
A. 8 September 2007: DO NOT DO IT AGAIN! If he has a partner too, then say you can't. Not being in love with your partner doesn't mean much. Do you mean that you don't see yourself ever falling in love with him, or that it is too soon? If you mean that you don't ... (read in full...)
Does he still have feelings for me?
Q. About three months ago i split up from my first proper bf, we had been together for about a year and generally had a really good relationship. I had to split up with him because i was really depressed at the time because i was being bullied ...
A. 8 September 2007: Well, that is a tough one to decide. He could still have feelings for you, or he may have been legitimately been pausing to think of how he felt and how much he should actually tell you. The role of a boyfriend is to stick by his girlfriend a... (read in full...)
I am 23 and have fallen for a 14 year old!
Q. i am a 23 year old male, and i have a 14 year old friend i have meet and known for a while, we get on really well, and her parents seem to trust me and her. but i think i maybe fallin in love with her, and i think she feels the same way, im not...
A. 8 September 2007: Hmmm...you might have the best of intentions by staying friends with her. However, many mistakes were created by having good intentions. Considering how you feel about her, I'd say that there might be a chance that a mistake could happen here. ... (read in full...)
Should I trust my wife after she kept this from me??
Q. I've been with my wife since I was 19 and she was 18. We went to high school together and have a loving marriage of 15 years. Prior to our getting together ( a few weeks) she hooked up with another high school friend and I suspected they had had ...
A. 8 September 2007: It was 20 years ago and you weren't with her at the time. Let it go. It is strange that she kept it secret, maybe she thought it was too close to when you two started going out and it felt weird to talk about. Especially if she remained friends ... (read in full...)
Nervous about a potential 1st boyfriend! Help!!
Q. (Ill try and keep it short) Im 15, never had a bf and never kissed. Now I like someone and he likes me back. Im pretty sure he'll be asking me out very soon. But im soooo nervous! Ive never opened up to a guy like that and Im not really sure how...
A. 8 September 2007: You are young. Awkwardness is often expected. Don't worry, and don't over think things. He'll probably understand your position. As for the kiss, don't focus on how bad it might be, focus on how you feel. The first kiss, go with the flow. ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl and she doesn't like me back
Q. well i really like tis girl and i very sweet to her!!!!!! but she doesnt like me back so wat should i do and i cant get over her !!! so wat should i do...
A. 8 September 2007: Well there is a school of thought that the best way to get a girl is to be a cocky asshole and she'll start liking you. Well, that maybe all fine and well, but if you are not naturally an asshole, good luck making tht work long term. Unfortuna... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend hasn't texted all day. Is this normal?
Q. Is it normal in a relationship for your partner to have the odd day where they don't contact you at all? My boyfriend hasn't texted me at all today you see. I have this romantic ideal where the guy beats a path to your door all the time but I ...
A. 7 September 2007: You are being completely unrealistic. I expect this question from someone half your age. People get busy. It happens. You get busy, don't you? ... (read in full...)
He's never cheated on me but when he left his phone at my house there were texts on it from another girl!!!
Q. hi... I've been with my boyfriend for a while now. He tells me he has never cheated on any of his ex's, and I believe him. Recently I've been on holiday for 3 weeks, when I got back he told me he'd really missed me and been so bored while I was ...
A. 7 September 2007: a) You shouldn't have gone through his texts.
b) He never texted back. It could be an ex that cannot let go that he is avoiding.
c) Do you know who this girl is? Could she be a relative? Does it have a name programmed in or is it just a num... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and my ex wont stop telling me how great her boyfriend is. Shes a good friend but I'm getting sick of it!
Q. hi am 16 and my ex wont leave me alone, she call me 24/7 and she always talking about how great her new BF and gettinng sick of her crap, and i really do not know what to do. she a really nice friend but sometime it feels like she never liked me or ...
A. 6 September 2007: Yeah, you have to ditch this one fast. How can she be a friend if she cheated on you every two months when you were going out. End this FAST!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's sister and niece live with him. Is it unfair of me to want to start our married life without a ready made family???
Q. My boyfriend's sister and niece live with him. He is so sweet to help her out because she is in college and a single mom and just trying to make it in this world. Well guess what? I am a widow who gets $126.00 a month for my son, I have 2 jobs, a ...
A. 6 September 2007: It is not selfish of you. But why would you have to wait until the niece is 18? How many years of college does his sister have left? He really should at the very least put that down as her "move out" date. Otherwise, she'll never learn to fend ... (read in full...)
My family treat me bad and i'm worried when my guy comes to stay he will be verbally abusive to them..
Q. i feel stressed from the way my family is treating me as i failed my exams so cant go to college. in result im going into depression and seem to take it out on my bf alot. my bf is coming round in 2 weeks to stay and while im at work he going to be ...
A. 6 September 2007: Perhaps he shouldn't stay there for those two weeks. Se if he can find other arrangements. If your family is treating you badly, they might treat him with disrespect since he is there with you.
In the meantime, don't get depressed doing nothing.... (read in full...)
Because I would have ovulated and even if I am not pregnant is it safe to carry on having unprotected sex?
Q. Ok well a long story short I came off the pill [that I was on for about 2 years] to start using comdoms with my boyfriend [who I've been with for over 2 years]. But the problem is we keep having unprotected sex because we are still in the habit of ...
A. 6 September 2007: Geez, you know the answers to all of these questions. All of them are the obvious answers you don't want to hear.
YES! You could be pregnant.
No! Don't drink alcohol if you are.
NO! Don't keep having unprotected sex.... (read in full...)
Where can I find a Counselor?
Q. Okay I have come to realise that I have some SERIOUS emotional issues and I think I need counseling. Actually I know I do, I won't lie... I'm borderline crazy. Well I definitely have a lot of emotional and psychological problems anyway. I ...
A. 6 September 2007: Since you're anonymous on here I don't know your age, but some colleges have these services for free for a few sessions. In the US, health insurance also covers some of it, but I don't know if that works in your situation. Doctors usually know the ... (read in full...)
After asking me out he told others he didn't have a girlfriend!
Q. I wanted to go out with this guy for a long time and I thought he was so perfect for me. He finally asked me out and I was so excited, but a couple days after I agreed to say "yes", he told all of his friends he didn't have a girlfriend. How can I ...
A. 5 September 2007: Just because he asked you out doesn't make you his girlfriend. It means you'll be going on a date. Unless you two made it clear that you're seeing each other exclusively, you're not his girlfriend and he's not your boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and want to move on, but my new boyfriend hasnt suggested we live together
Q. Hello beautiful people, please help me to see the truth, here is my problem…… I am divorced for one year but still living with my husband. We have been unhappily married for 3 years. It’s a camaraderie relationship with no other feelings involve...
A. 4 September 2007: Good luck!... (read in full...)
I really like my boss and he was all flirty with me this weekend
Q. i have been workin in this bar for about 7 weeks now on caravan sight and i have known this 24yr old for a yr now, hes my boss. he has a girl friend of 20 and im only 17. ive liked him for ages and i think hes always known it, he always kept his ...
A. 4 September 2007: He might, but it doesn't mean to jump on this opportunity. He's got to end it with his current girlfriend first. But being that he is a boss, you must realize what may happen in the future if you do start seeing him and the relationship goes sour. ... (read in full...)
I am 23 and have fallen for a 14 year old!
Q. i am a 23 year old male, and i have a 14 year old friend i have meet and known for a while, we get on really well, and her parents seem to trust me and her. but i think i maybe fallin in love with her, and i think she feels the same way, im not...
A. 4 September 2007: Maybe you're also too close to her. Do you hang out with many other females? If not, you should start. It might take your attention off of her and you may start feeling the same way for one of them.... (read in full...)
Still living with my ex and want to move on, but my new boyfriend hasnt suggested we live together
Q. Hello beautiful people, please help me to see the truth, here is my problem…… I am divorced for one year but still living with my husband. We have been unhappily married for 3 years. It’s a camaraderie relationship with no other feelings involve...
A. 31 August 2007: No matter what was said or how you two feel, this is pretty much a new beginning for you despite your past. It is probably too soon for you to move in together and perhaps he realizes that. Although it would make sense from a practical standpoint, ... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: Dr. Psych makes sense and earlier I thought of some of what she said too, but wasn't sure what measures to take. You could have the cops check out the computer and end the relationship, but also, I am not sure on this, it might incriminate you ... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: I am tempted to agree with most of what is said, but I am also worried this is a knee-jerk reaction. Yes, it is potentially a HUGE problem, but I think we need more information here. Is there any more occurance of this in his journals? How does ... (read in full...)
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