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... Send *exybum a private message | | | *exybum's profile:Hiya I'm from England.
I came to dearcupid for advice and was instantly intrigued, ever since I've enjoyed passing advice stemmed from my own experience, to help other people through tricky situations. You come across a wide variety of situations on this site and I beleive the more I read, the more i learn about other people and how the world goes round...... |
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I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 23 March 2006: UGGGHHH - I think thats pretty disgraceful, take it you like being deceitful to your HUSBAND, I think you've shown that you don't even have a slight bit of decency by admitting it to him. You are a completely untrustworthy person (there are words I ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my friend's boyfriend, and I *know* it's wrong!
Q. I really need some help. I have been friends with this woman for over 20 years. We hadn't spent much time together in recent years, but started hanging out again recently. My problem is that I am extremely attracted to her live-in boyfrien...
A. 7 March 2006: Well done for confessing to your husband it shows you have respect and do care for him, even if you have shared a kiss with someone. Jacquie is spot on. Its ok to be attracted to other people, however when you're already in a loving relation... (read in full...)
We're on a break from each other, but she won't discuss the problems we're having...
Q. My girlfriend and I am currently having a "break" to get some space. We have been going out for 3 years and have bought a house and been living together for 2. We broke up last week, very amicably and we talked about things sensibly. She says she ...
A. 7 March 2006: Heya I've sent you an email but its just taking a while to go through, thought I'd let you know x... (read in full...)
I've been so strong but will I regret not having him in my life?
Q. After being left for other women 10 months ago, I still can't seem to get a grip on my life. I really enjoy not being lied to, cheated on or emotionally and mentally abused. I thought I had my mind set and was being strong, doing the right thing ...
A. 6 March 2006: You've overcome most of the hurdles in getting over this man. You've built your own confidence by setting your boundaries. You KNOW you can't trust him. Why should you anyway he has hurt you and I'm sorry to say it but he doesn't care. He doesn't ... (read in full...)
She keeps me away from her ex who she sees every weekend...
Q. My girlfriend is still good friends with her ex. They suffered a miscarriage when they were together, which is obviously terrible, and it is something they can only talk to each other about, as I (for one) don't know how she felt, or what sh...
A. 6 March 2006: She wants to keep the past and the present seperate? Then why is she still dabbling in her past with her 'ex' whilst being with you in the present! I've had a pregnancy that didn't work out, nothing will prepare you for it. And no one will be able... (read in full...)
He doesn't give me oral so should I for him?
Q. I always go down on my partner cos he likes it and enjoys it (i dont). I dont let him cum in my mouth tho because i dont like it. When i ask him to go down on me he wont he makes excuses. Am i right to give to him even tho he dont do the same for ...
A. 6 March 2006: You should only ever do what your comfortable with. Everything goes two ways in relationships. You're putting yourself out for this guy and he's not doing the same back. I should expect that the reason you don't like going down on him is because you ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions for "pillow talk"?
Q. i have an amazing boyfriend, but there is one tiny problem, i need help on pillow talk, it's not that i am bad but just that i run out of things to say, any suggestions on wat i can say to him. he is tall dark and handsome. he looks like tyres...
A. 6 March 2006: So errr what do you two have in common, why are you together in the first place? I don't mean that in a rude way... I mean are you like a really intimate couple who has nearly tried everything and need freshening up? Or are you a new couple that are ... (read in full...)
I am getting mixed signals from my ex and don't know what to do
Q. About six weeks ago my bf of a year and half broke it off, suddenly, saying he didn't want to date anyone right now. About a week before I had panicked and told him I thought he wasn't in to the relationship. He had been busy getting a new job, and ...
A. 6 March 2006: You two are going through a break up cycle and its being dragged out for a lot longer than nessessary. You two sound like nice people and are obviously fond of each other, but have gone separate ways and now its time to move on. You keep calling ... (read in full...)
Scared my son will start getting sexual
Q. i am a 29 year old mother of a 14 year old son.i have noticed recently that my son has started dating and i am so scared that he will start engaging into sexual activities. i do not know how to talk to him about this matter and i do not want him ...
A. 6 March 2006: Is the father around? Its always harder with lads because the only contreception they can take control of is the condom. At least with girls you can get them on the pill or something. Sit down with leaflets and the lot. You need to make sure he ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my cheating girlfriend or not?
Q. Looking for help. My girlfriend cheated on me at a party or to be more precise, with her ex while she was getting ready for it. I found out, after her friend had walked in and caught them and my gf told her not to tell me. I confronted her, and at ...
A. 6 March 2006: Right I'll keep this one short and simple: Can't beleive your still with her Leave her NOW!!! Run as fast as you can!! And NEVER turn back!... (read in full...)
I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 6 March 2006: Do you realise how bad this is!?!? Lets put it into some perspective for you. Imagine you have two children and they have kids that sleep with each other. Imagine your grandchildren sleeping with each other. I think its disgusting that you ca... (read in full...)
I had sex with him but he was so ugly, I didn't want to be seen with him! It's over but I keep thinking about him??
Q. weve been going out with my bf for 2yrs with a 3mnth split in the middle. we split because i couldnt deal with him joining the army. when we were apart i ending up having regular sex with this bloke. he was very good in bed and i liked his ...
A. 6 March 2006: Maybe it would be a good idea for you to go cold turkey for a while. Give yourself a chance to get a grip on the situation at hand.
Seems like your current boyfriend (the one who joined the army) has upset you and as a result you went on the rebo... (read in full...)
She was too needy, so we split and now its even worse...
Q. I broke up with MY ex of a year and a half almost a month ago. She was excessively needy and had to be around me 24-7 other than work. I tried to have nights out with out her and told her ther were to be as such. Then she ended up coming to where...
A. 3 March 2006: Good for you and good luck! Sorry your 'friends' didn't understand, more fool them for liking the stalker!!! They'll eat their words when she turns on them! LOL!!!!! This is a stage that I think everone at least once in their lives. You find out ... (read in full...)
We're on a break from each other, but she won't discuss the problems we're having...
Q. My girlfriend and I am currently having a "break" to get some space. We have been going out for 3 years and have bought a house and been living together for 2. We broke up last week, very amicably and we talked about things sensibly. She says she ...
A. 3 March 2006: Another thing I've noticed is that it seems the more I persue my own life and get back into my own hobbies the more secure I feel and capable. I love my boyfriend and will give him the world and more, but if he doesn't love me or pull his finger out ... (read in full...)
I had sex with him but he was so ugly, I didn't want to be seen with him! It's over but I keep thinking about him??
Q. weve been going out with my bf for 2yrs with a 3mnth split in the middle. we split because i couldnt deal with him joining the army. when we were apart i ending up having regular sex with this bloke. he was very good in bed and i liked his ...
A. 3 March 2006: I agree with Smeedle, you say you didn't treat the guy bad because you went out with him all the time! Is that a joke, because it was followed by 'I was scared to bump into someone I know' If you don't grow up you will never be happy. I dread t... (read in full...)
We took time out last year, now a text message I snooped at on his phone makes me doubt him!
Q. i don't know what to think or do?!? my boyfriend and i have just celebrated our 6th yearly aniversay and i know he loves me very much. we run two businesses together and are renovating a flat together. we had some problems last year and he took ...
A. 3 March 2006: I don't beleive him and I think he is lying to you, he's got a stable life with you and a frilling life her. I'm sorry to say this to you as I don't want to upset you, but thats quite a serious text message and you know it and I think that you know... (read in full...)
We're married but he says his paycheck is HIS... Right or wrong?
Q. Hello. I was wondering what you think. If my husband of 6 years who I have dated for 13, is the sole provider of me and our two young children,besides me working part time nights, does he have the right to control all finances and claim that his ...
A. 2 March 2006: I'm not married myself and have not been in a relationship for nowhere near as long as this, but I'll give my view on it, thats all I can do.... You two are married TOGETHER and have children TOGETHER you live TOGHETHER I take it you eat TOGETHER... (read in full...)
We're on a break from each other, but she won't discuss the problems we're having...
Q. My girlfriend and I am currently having a "break" to get some space. We have been going out for 3 years and have bought a house and been living together for 2. We broke up last week, very amicably and we talked about things sensibly. She says she ...
A. 2 March 2006: Hey I'm so glad you feel llike that, it just proves it can happen!!
I give all the advice myself and don't take it, but I'm in a similar situation with my own boyfriend. We're on rocky ground, but I've just started pursuing my own interest... (read in full...)
We never established a date and I don't know how she really feels about me...
Q. Hey all, Just to let you know where i'm coming from, i just broke up with my girlfriend of nearly two years, we've decided its for the best and we've moved on to other people. I'm pursuing a crush on a girl i just met about a month ago, and I...
A. 2 March 2006: Ok, well you should go for it. If she comes out then make it clear its a date, buy her a rose, it can't get any clearer then that, try not to let your nerves get the better of you and become cheesy!!!
I thought she may have hesitated because ... (read in full...)
She was too needy, so we split and now its even worse...
Q. I broke up with MY ex of a year and a half almost a month ago. She was excessively needy and had to be around me 24-7 other than work. I tried to have nights out with out her and told her ther were to be as such. Then she ended up coming to where...
A. 2 March 2006: After reading what you wrote in reply to all of our sugestions I change my mind about being stern with HER its your FRIENDS that need telling! Why are they encouraging her to come round. Its not their responsibilty to 'take her on'. Sit your fri... (read in full...)
Bored with EVERYthing...
Q. I'm bored with life. I'm unhappy at work, I'm unhappy at school, I'm unhappy at home and I'm unhappy with my bf. Any suggestions on improving my life? Please help xXx...
A. 2 March 2006: Thanks for the extra info..... So you must be towards the end of your A-Levels. You've probably learnt most of the stuff there is to learn on your course so take it in your stride and be PATIENT you have to sit those exams otherwise the la... (read in full...)
We're on a break from each other, but she won't discuss the problems we're having...
Q. My girlfriend and I am currently having a "break" to get some space. We have been going out for 3 years and have bought a house and been living together for 2. We broke up last week, very amicably and we talked about things sensibly. She says she ...
A. 1 March 2006: This is a very hard question to answer. It seems as if you've tried everything and in a sensible manner at that. I almost think the only thing to do is leave her be for the time being, give her some space, she's obviously been craving it. See how ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me three times but now I've met someone who is really great...
Q. i am currently in a relationship. i met the guy when i was 14 i am now 18. he has cheated on me three times twice with my best friend and once with someone i didn't know. it hurt me alot. i cheated on him once but i was very drunk and i was only a ...
A. 1 March 2006: I want to adjust my reply that I posted earliar today. I want you to ignore my advice, because after reading the advice that misbunbury gave you I think you should take that.
I don't think I've ever seen such a spot on perfect answer on dear... (read in full...)
When his lover came to the door, I was devastated. How can I ever get over the emotional pain and go on?
Q. im really hurt over how my ex cheated on me. we had been together for 6 years and both enjoyed our time together. i had been in a relationship with him at school and 10 years later we met up and started to date. he is now 34 and im 33. it all seemed ...
A. 1 March 2006: It could help you is you let him know how much damage he has done. You say he is still texting you well you could tell him you want him to stop contacting you or you could change your number. The more he contacts you the more he digs up them raw ... (read in full...)
We never established a date and I don't know how she really feels about me...
Q. Hey all, Just to let you know where i'm coming from, i just broke up with my girlfriend of nearly two years, we've decided its for the best and we've moved on to other people. I'm pursuing a crush on a girl i just met about a month ago, and I...
A. 1 March 2006: Hi I just want to ask you a few questions to help build my understanding a bit more.
1) Do you know this girls name? Its just when you said you didn't manage to get a screen name it sounded a sif you didn't know her name.
2) How old are you?
... (read in full...)
She was too needy, so we split and now its even worse...
Q. I broke up with MY ex of a year and a half almost a month ago. She was excessively needy and had to be around me 24-7 other than work. I tried to have nights out with out her and told her ther were to be as such. Then she ended up coming to where...
A. 1 March 2006: Forget being sensitove to this girl, she is stalking you. You need to sit her down and be very stern with her. Lay down your boundaries and make them clear and cut.
Tell her exactly why you split up with her, this might make her realise how far ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to respect me?
Q. I work for my partner and I also work part-time as a receptionist. I would consider myself intelligent and hard-working but my boyfriend doesn't show me much respect. He often criticises me and I really resent it when he does. He also has a secretar...
A. 1 March 2006: Show him that you can be happy without him and won't fall apart, by claiming some time apart in order for him to smarten his attitude!! If he thinks anything of you he will contact you and apologise and hopefully give you a great well deserved gift! ... (read in full...)
Am I paranpid or should I be concerned?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months now, Im 18, hes 19. Its the longest relationship we've both had. My problem is, I get so paranoid over every little thing. At the beginning, everything between was perfect like it always is, but ...
A. 1 March 2006: It does sound as if you are being paranoid. It doesn't sound as if he is cheating on you. Its ok for him to talk to girls and boys, because its YOU thats he's decided to be with. Its YOU that cuddles him and has him as your boyfriend.
Its p... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheated on me three times but now I've met someone who is really great...
Q. i am currently in a relationship. i met the guy when i was 14 i am now 18. he has cheated on me three times twice with my best friend and once with someone i didn't know. it hurt me alot. i cheated on him once but i was very drunk and i was only a ...
A. 1 March 2006: You've been with this guy since you were a kid and he's cheated on you with your 'best friend' and another girl. You say you done it back. Well you've stayed with him so you must care about him, but it doesn't meen you can't move on in life. You ... (read in full...)
Keep thinking about my ex...
Q. im with my boyfriend and have been with him 4 about 2-3 months but i still kepp thinkin about my ex, but the thing is i love my new boyfriend and dont wana lose him! i was only with my ex for a monoth so how cum i keep thinking about him????...
A. 1 March 2006: What happened between you and your ex, how did you meet, split up what was that month you were with him like? It would be easier to answer your question if you fill us in on your last relationship and your new one. How long had you and your ex ... (read in full...)
I caught my 10-year-old daughter masturbating!
Q. I hope you can help me with this because i just dont know what to do! I have a 10 year old daughter who is very happy- go lucky and has lots of friends. Last week i walked into her bedroom to find her straddling her bedcorner and thrusting. I told ...
A. 28 February 2006: As if you never done that!!!!!! Well you might not have straddled your bed post, but at least she wasn't straddling a boy! She is just growing up and starting to feel new things in her body! When she starts to grow bossoms if she touches them, are ... (read in full...)
She expects me to wait for her...how can I get her to see how I feel?
Q. hi, my girlfriend recently returned from a year away visisting her dad in australia we were together for around 9 months and at the time both agreed that we would end the relationship when she left.we kept in touch and now she has returned were an ...
A. 28 February 2006: I would be worried, why does she want to go alone. Have you asked her if you can come? If so what did she say? It would be interesting to know if she puts up resistance to you coming with her and what her reasons for that resistance would be. ... (read in full...)
We have broken up but he doesn't turn up to agreed meetings
Q. I am having some problems with my ex, 21, since our split after five months. I am 33, we are both gay, and we had a wonderful, honest relationship. However, after New Year he suddenly chose to end things saying things were not working for him....
A. 28 February 2006: You're obviously going through a hard time dealing with this split. Its been 5 months and still no renunion is in sight. I know you probably don't want to hear it but it sounds like this guy is too chicken to tell you the truth. If he can't make it ... (read in full...)
I'm always after reassurance from my boyfriend and I want to change!
Q. Any tips on how to be more independant in a long distance relationship, and refrain from constantly seeking reassurance? I've been hurt before, where I loved someone more than I got loved back; now I'm constantly looking for things, words, and thou...
A. 27 February 2006: How many hobbies do you have and how many things do you do for yourself? I'll try to give you some advice, but it might not be that good because I am in the middle of giving myself a confidence boost. I'm the same as you and always seek reassurance, ... (read in full...)
I want her to have her first orgasm with me...
Q. i have been with my girl friend for over a year and lost my virginity 2 her a few months back although she had a sexual partner before me she has never had an orgasm. i really want 2 give her her first one to return all the pleasure she has given ...
A. 27 February 2006: This is a bit of a weird situation. She says she wants to experience it with you but pushes you away when she comes close! The only reason that I can think of that she would do this is because she might not be relaxed enough to feel a full orgasm! ... (read in full...)
It feels like we are still together but we've broken up...
Q. she broke up with me i love her to death. she says she still wants to be part of my life. after the brake up we hung out and had sex more the once. i whant to get back with her. she just whants me as a friend. plus everytime we hangout it feels like ...
A. 27 February 2006: Tell her how you feel and do it A.S.A.P because the longer you drag you it out the harder it will get to admit your feelings. Relationships sometimes need a bit of effort put in to keep the magic there, so do something romantic and admit to her how ... (read in full...)
Is there hope for us again?
Q. Help. I’m confused. I have recently split from my boyfriend of six months and the whole thing has devastated me. Anyway, I have been the stronger one and have not been in touch with him for several weeks. Then, yesterday, he e-mails me asking if I ...
A. 22 February 2006: Maybe he wants to meet up with you and is sincere. You said he replied quickly. He might've realised this after then tried to sound 'cool' or 'not too clingy' by saying 'oh, you will have to text to remind me'.
He could've just said that to put ... (read in full...)
How do we get the trust back?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together since last March. In October he cheated on me with a girl he knew from university who is in love with him. I found out but I believe he never liked her and he has proved this and he has not contacted her since. ...
A. 22 February 2006: Your post nearly made me cry because I relate to it so much. I started using this site on Feb 14th, because I was just constantly agonising over not being able to trust my boyfriend.(We split up on Feb14) I love him too, but he cheated on me. I ... (read in full...)
Should I worry about my husband having online texts with an old gf, everyday?
Q. my husband spends hours several nights a week having MSN conversations with an old girlfriend, they also TXT each other most days. I'm not happy but he says I have nothing to worry about. Should I be worried ...
A. 21 February 2006: I would be quite anxious and hurt if my husband was doing this ( I'm not married by the way!) To sit and have long MSN converstaions and texting every day I would definatly be worried. Do you trust him? Would he be doing anything beind your back?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend says my penis hurts her during sex. Can you help?
Q. My girlfriend has trouble with my penis hurting her vagina during intercourse. she says it feels like its pulling the skin. can you help?...
A. 21 February 2006: You need to give her more foreplay, may sound weird but you literally need to wet her up a bit more, turn her on more. If she is 'dry' when you two are trying to have sex it will hurt and will feel incredibly uncomfortable! I don't know how to ... (read in full...)
For my 14th birthday, my BF wants us to lose our virginity to each other, but I don't know if I'm ready...
Q. Hi everybody I am a 13 y o and turn 14 on the 20th Feb but my bf and I are going out to celebrate. We are going to a kids' nightclub and I'm really exited. He has been saving up for 5 months for my present and I am looking forward to it, but then ...
A. 20 February 2006: Don't do it!!!!! If you are not sure that are ready right now then just don't do it please! Most people look back on how they lost their virginity and regret it because most people done it just to loose it!!! You and your boyfriend sound as if you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't let go of the idea of my ex, and it's driving us apart!
Q. I'm a simple, average girl who has my Mr. Right, but now my relationship with him fell apart because of my ex. He kept insulting me about my past whenever he saw my ex, but the thing is, he knows that I love him so much and he knows that I hate my ...
A. 20 February 2006: I agree with the person above it is hard to answer this question without knowing more, however I can say that my boyfriend (who is now my ex) kept doing his to me. I was in contact with an ex-boyfriend. It was a bit silly this guy I was in contact ... (read in full...)
Bored with EVERYthing...
Q. I'm bored with life. I'm unhappy at work, I'm unhappy at school, I'm unhappy at home and I'm unhappy with my bf. Any suggestions on improving my life? Please help xXx...
A. 20 February 2006: I go through that all the time and the trick is too just keep on trying new things all the time. It would be interesting to know how old you are, before advising what you could try. How do you spend your time out of school and work? Do you do things ... (read in full...)
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