Have I blown it??
Q. hey, Iv'e been seeing a friend for 3 weeks and last night i was going to ask him to make official between us but i think hes blown me off. We walked home after going to the pub with friends and he said he was tired and wanted to go home alone be...
A. 5 September 2007: You might still be OK, but I think you're right that playing games has affected the way he feels, so I think total honesty is your only option here. Tell him you were trying to make him jealous, and you feel really silly about it now, and you'd like ... (read in full...)
Is is too late to ask for a change?
Q. Ok I've been seeing this guy for about 7 weeks. It started off being some casual fun, but has since developed into something more serious, calling and txting several times a day. We agreed to keep things 'open' when we started. We both enjoy snogg...
A. 5 September 2007: Well, it can't hurt to ask! I think that if this would be a dealbreaker for you (i.e. you wouldn't want a long-term relationship unless this condition were met) then you should broach the subject, otherwise things will just get more and more serious ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends 8 year old daughter isn't very happy with me!
Q. Hi iv recently begun a relationship with a woman who has an 8 year old daughter...the daughter is not happy about this as she has had her mothers attention for the last 6 years with no other interferance from any one else...conciquently she (the ...
A. 19 March 2006: OK, well, I can assure you I didn't mean to be offensive. I was trying to make a practical suggestion, based on my own experience of dealing with my mother's boyfriends as a child. I felt very uncomfortable with any physical intimacy being shown ... (read in full...)
I'm a great wife and mother-but his bad behaviours are so unfair and I'm hurt!
Q. My husband and i have been married for 9 years with 4 children between us, However i have never been highly sexed and he has, he says i haven't paid him enough attention in our marriage and states this for the reasons that he hasn't come home on ...
A. 18 March 2006: I'll be honest, this bloke doesn't sound like he's particularly worth bothering with - he's rude, deceptive and shows a lack of respect towards you which must be very upsetting. I suspect that in his mind, the sex issues are the key to all of this - ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends 8 year old daughter isn't very happy with me!
Q. Hi iv recently begun a relationship with a woman who has an 8 year old daughter...the daughter is not happy about this as she has had her mothers attention for the last 6 years with no other interferance from any one else...conciquently she (the ...
A. 18 March 2006: You say "we give her all the attention we can but still want our time together too" - I'll be honest, at this point you may need to accept that this girl's feelings come before yours and your girlfriend's, however hard that may seem to deal with. ... (read in full...)
He's choosing weed over me and I don't know what to do.
Q. hi erm.. well rite now im sat alone in my bed room because my boyfriend has chosen his friends and weed over me! i suppose it is my fault 4 actually not saying anything to him wen he smoked it in front of me bt not when hes leaving me on my own all ...
A. 18 March 2006: Well, if you insist he chooses, I think he will choose his social life, to be honest. He sounds very domineering in the way he threatens you. Without knowing more about this though, it's hard to know how best to advise you. You don't say whether you ... (read in full...)
I dread his weekly drunken breakdowns.
Q. My b'f is overseas working, long distance, and when he goes out with his mates to the pubs, he drinks- gets tipsy, and when he drinks too much, he calls me or sends me texts early hours of the morning saying he misses me, and that he cant go on ...
A. 18 March 2006: This guy is a really sloppy drunk, as many men are. If it's been going on for a while, I think the best thing to do is for you to talk about it with him when he's sober, and come up with a plan that'll keep you both happy. My suggestion would be for ... (read in full...)
I want to tell him I like him when I see him, but how am I to do this?
Q. Hi there I am in a dilemma, over a boy (shock horror) I have been friends with him for about 8 years, not mega close- but catch up occasionally, I saw him a couple of years ago before he was to go to Australia with his girlfriend and he asked me...
A. 17 March 2006: I can share a really positive experience which may help you build up the courage - my boyfriend and I were close friends for six years, and we finally got together three years ago. I can honestly say that friendship has proved the best possible ... (read in full...)
I divorced him, but now he's announced his engagement I am devastated!
Q. We were married for 22yrs, a turbulent marriage, but loved each deeply, 3 grown up children now, my ex was a heavy drinker and an angry man. After a few break ups my ex always begged for another chance. In the last 3 yrs i've had cancer twice (now ...
A. 17 March 2006: Sandy, I really think you would benefit from some sort of outside help here. You're so upset that you're not thinking straught, and you need some support in this situation. If you're in the UK, contact Al-Anon (http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/) who ... (read in full...)
I'm under 30, retired and so bored with life...
Q. Dear Cupid (and his little Cupid and Cupette helpers), I am b-o-r-e-d. Each day I try to do something exciting, something amazing, something cool... But at heart I am really, seriously, 100% A1++ bored. I am most content lazing on a sofa, l...
A. 16 March 2006: Find a chick, is my advice! No, seriously, there's so much good you could be doing in the world. You'd feel better about yourself if you channeled some energy into helping others, maybe as suggested below through voluntary work. Alternatively, if ... (read in full...)
I never developed breasts and I don't feel like I could ever really satisfy a man's needs.
Q. I'm a twenty four year old female with sex issues. I find it hard to enjoy sex because of my physical shortcomings - I have never developed breasts. I don't mean that I have small breasts, I have literally NO breasts at all, just nipples. My sto...
A. 16 March 2006: Thank you all (belated thanks!) for your help on this one. I know really that you're all right when you say I just need to work on my confidence, and I'm doing my best to work on this, with the help of my boyfriend who couldn't be lovelier. I'm ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a guy that has a pregnant girlfriend. HELP!
Q. i am having a relationship with a guy whose in a relationship and his girlfriend is 5 months pregnant. we are both 30 something and educated people, but i cant help it. he is so what i am looking for after a 7 year sham of a relationship what shall ...
A. 16 March 2006: Think about this. Is he REALLY what you're looking for? When you picture your ideal man, is it the kind of guy who is willing to cheat on his pregnant girlfriend? I don't think so. This isn't really a relationship, you're the other woman here. Also, ... (read in full...)
How much time does she need before I let her know I like her?
Q. I just started working at a new job christmas week and of course there's a girl there that im starting to fall for(i think she knows too). We get along great,never a dull moment between us, and i think she is at least attracted to me, if not more. ...
A. 16 March 2006: Well, if she seems happy enough, I'd say go for it now - but keep things low-key just in case she's hiding some sadness. Why not arrange a works night out, so you can all have some fun together? By making it a group thing, you won't be pressuring ... (read in full...)
I don't think I'm his type, I'm not rich.....but he seems to be!
Q. hey! i'm just wanting some advice coz there's this situation that is doing my head in big time!! To cut a long story short..before i went out with my boyfriend which is like 5 years ago there was this other bloke that i had a fling with and ...
A. 16 March 2006: I think I can tell you what's going on, but I don't think you'll like it; sometimes we have to be cruel to be kind, so I hope you appreciate that what I'm about to say isn't a deliberate attempt to hurt you, but rather an objective view of the ... (read in full...)
I want him to be with me, but he doesn't seem as interested anymore!
Q. Well, on New Year's Eve i slept with this guy, it was really unlike me but something made me do it. Then, since then he is all i can think about, at first, he was really nice, and i have stayed around his house a few times since then. However, now ...
A. 16 March 2006: The best advice I can give you (in addition to the sensible suggestions below) is that you should not be drinking around this guy. When you're already emotional about someone, getting drunk with them is a really bad idea, as it tends to make you ... (read in full...)
She says no body was as perfect as me, but I don't believe her!
Q. A Question to all you woman out there, my wife tells me guys are attracted to women more from a phyisical stand point, women from a emotional. that a mans body, penis size are not important. I cant believe my wife who has been with better body, ...
A. 15 March 2006: For the record, I agree with your wife. It's not all about physical attraction; if it were, the world would be an extremely shallow place. I know from my own experience that insecurity is a terrible demon to have hanging around your neck - these ... (read in full...)
She couldn't get over her ex, so she broke up with me
Q. My first girlfriend recently split up with me. She says that she hasn't gotten over her ex. We seemed to be doing ok since we were only seeing each other for a month. Is she lying and if not should i call her and ask to be friends?...
A. 15 March 2006: There's no way for me to know whether she's lying - you know her, so you have to make the judgement yourself. It's always worth trying to stay friends, especially when you're young and the relationship didn't last long, but you should onnly bother ... (read in full...)
I wasn't in the mood, but he still got his relief, so should I be worried?
Q. 2 nights ago, my boyfriend of 15 months wanted sex and I wasnt in the mood. After pestering me for some time and not getting anywhere, he went to the toilet and relieved himself. Should I be worried? I dont know what to do....
A. 15 March 2006: Well, it's better than finding someone else to help him out! Sorry, I don't mean to be flippant, but I do think you may be overanalysing this. What exactly are you so worried about? Is it the thought that he might be angry about what happened? If ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to have sex...any tips?
Q. I don't know how to have sex.it is really embarassing. Do you have any tips? ...
A. 15 March 2006: I agree with Irish - I'm not going to give you technical tips without knowing more about your situation. I can reassure you a little though. The other aunts are right that you should read up on the subject; there are lots of books that will explain ... (read in full...)
I'm leaving my husband soon and I want a relationship with my married friend from the ice cream shop.
Q. Dear Cupid, I am an unhappily married woman with 2 children. My plan is to leave when my husband finishes school in June. There is a married man who is a friend of mine. His daughter and my daughter are classmates. He also owns an ice cream sto...
A. 15 March 2006: As I've said to a lot of people on this site before, it's a really bad idea to make decisions regarding potential relationships whilst still entagled in a current relationship. When you're with someone who makes you unhappy, your judgement is bound ... (read in full...)
How much time together with his children's mother is too much time?
Q. How much time together with his children's mother is too much time? My boyfriend, who I have been with for 10 months now, has two children with his ex-girlfriend. He and her had a solid relationship for about 7 years and an on-off relationship for ...
A. 15 March 2006: This is a difficult one, because it's not as if you can expect him to just cut off all contact. Is she always there when he sees the kids? This seems a bit excessive - it's nice for kids to have Dad Time sometimes, and it would probably make you ... (read in full...)
Could my BF's viewing of exploitative child porn have just been a fluke?
Q. I wrote earlier, about my bf looking at underage girls, child porn, or whatever. I wasn't trying to find out what an appropriate age to be looking at this is. For the record he is 20. I was hoping to see if this would be considered a normal thing ...
A. 15 March 2006: You haven't really said much about the nature of the porn in question, and I think this could be an important factor. Now, I am NOT trying to justify anything, I'm a female myself and the idea of kiddy porn is obviously repulsive - but I'm wondering ... (read in full...)
I get breakfast in bed, but I don't really feel that I belong at my boyfriend's house, since he hasn't asked me to move in...
Q. I have been in a fantastic loving relationship for 5 months now. My boyfriend lets me stay at his house every night of the week. He is very giving; for example he cooks, does housework and makes me breakfast in bed. Lately he has been getting ...
A. 15 March 2006: I'm with mystify on this one - whether it's official or not, you are essentially living there, so where's the harm in helping out a bit? Apart from anything else, if you keep refusing to do so, your man is much less likely to actually want you to ... (read in full...)
Could my BF's viewing of exploitative child porn have just been a fluke?
Q. I wrote earlier, about my bf looking at underage girls, child porn, or whatever. I wasn't trying to find out what an appropriate age to be looking at this is. For the record he is 20. I was hoping to see if this would be considered a normal thing ...
A. 15 March 2006: You haven't really said much about the nature of the porn in question, and I think this could be an important factor. Now, I am NOT trying to justify anything, I'm a female myself and the idea of kiddy porn is obviously repulsive - but I'm wondering ... (read in full...)
My life is a mess and I'm starting to cut myself. I need help!
Q. Hey I'm 14 years old, and my life is a mess seriously. I dunno what to do. My brother is 19. He lives with us and he's on drugs. He does heroin and other drugs most days. My family argue and it's like started to get to me. I've started cutting ...
A. 15 March 2006: mystify - I'm worried you've misinterpreted my point in my earlier post. I wasn't trying to tell this girl she needs to be ashamed of her scars. I was speaking from my own experience, trying to make her understand that if she lets herself slide into ... (read in full...)
In a month of dating, we've only seen each other four times. It's not enough for me!
Q. This is really bothering me. My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a month and we've seen each other about 4 times. It's been almost 5 days since we actually talked to each other. 4 times isn't enough for me, and in order for this r...
A. 15 March 2006: I'm assuming you're both quite young, based on the fact that this is a first relationship for both of you. Considering you've only been together for a month, I've got to say that you seem to be expecting a lot from this boy - I'm not convinced you ... (read in full...)
Anyway, *she* is dishonest and *I* am developing stalker-like behaviour because of it...
Q. I can't trust my girlfriend #1 and I'm way jealous of her #2! Here's the deal.. I met a BEAUTIFUL girl, 10 out of 10, in the looks category. She's fun to be with, she tells me she loves me and I believe her, and we've been together since O...
A. 14 March 2006: Seriously, who CARES if she enjoys the attention? As long as she's not DOING anything, she's behaving perfectly well. I'll be honest with you Casey, I think you're heading down the wrong path. This is your problem, not hers, and you need to find a ... (read in full...)
My life is a mess and I'm starting to cut myself. I need help!
Q. Hey I'm 14 years old, and my life is a mess seriously. I dunno what to do. My brother is 19. He lives with us and he's on drugs. He does heroin and other drugs most days. My family argue and it's like started to get to me. I've started cutting ...
A. 14 March 2006: I agree with everyone else - it would be a good idea to confide in an adult about this. But I also have some other advice.
It sounds as if all the trouble with your brother is really getting on top of you, especially the conflict he causes i... (read in full...)
Can I get my fiance back into my and our son's lives?
Q. My ex-fiance and I broke up about 2 months ago. He blames me for our relationship ending, but he's the one who broke it off. I'm still in love with him but he wants nothing to do with me besides discussing our son, and it's probably because he's ...
A. 14 March 2006: I'm sorry, but I've got to disagree with chav123's advice below. It would be really wrong of you to try and use your son to get this man back. Your ex is entitled to see his little boy, whether you two are a couple or not, and any attempt to bargain ... (read in full...)
She said she was happy to see her ex and that makes me feel awful...
Q. My girlfriend says she was really happy when she saw her ex boyfriend today. I felt super bad. Is it okay for her to say those kind of things? She never says she is happy to see me....
A. 13 March 2006: You know, your question has helped me today. I've decided that as soon as my boyfriend comes through the door today, I'm going to give him a hug and tell him how happy I am to see him. We haven't got any problems, but you know, sometimes you should ... (read in full...)
My BF already has another girlfriend, whom he lives with. But he says he loves me!
Q. Hi, Wonder if you can give me some advice. My boyfriend of 1 year already had a girlfriend when I met him. After 2 months things got serious with us and we started getting feelings for each other and spending every spare minute with each other. ...
A. 13 March 2006: Well, just because you live with your parents, that doesn't mean he can't leave his girlfriend, does it? People do live alone you know. It sounds to me as if he's stringing you along a bit - I mean, you call him your boyfriend, but he's really not; ... (read in full...)
Not sure whether to believe that my boyfriend has slept with as many girls as he says...
Q. I am 16 and my boyfriend is 15. Last week I lost my virginity to him. He has told me that he's slept with over 15 girls but I don't know whether to believe him. First we tried it with me sitting on top of him with me facing away. It hurt me so I ...
A. 13 March 2006: I can't help noticing that you haven't told us anything at all about WHY it is that you're with this boy? You're clearly having trouble trusting him, and whilst a lot of teenage boys lie about their experience, that doesn't mean teenage girls should ... (read in full...)
I pulled back my foreskin and now it's stuck!! HELP!
Q. Im 14, and i today i was finally able to pull back my foreskin all the way (since it was a bit tight). But once it was there, the foreskin wouldn't go back. The foreskin is now just behind/under the head (well the coronal sulcus). I cant really get ...
A. 11 March 2006: Go to the doctor's, as soon as possible. Seriously. Yes, it's terribly embarrassing, but surely this particular bit of you is important enough that you should make sure it gets the best possible care? This really isn't the place for emergency ... (read in full...)
We're only just friends, but I can't even get over her after 7 months!!!
Q. I’m 21 and have been in love with a girl for two and a half years but we have never been in a relationship. It started the summer before I went away to University, and as I went away I didn’t want to lose contact. I tried not to let this stopping me ...
A. 8 March 2006: Have you ever had a conversation with her about your feelings? If not, then I think it couldn't possibly hurt to try. I'll be honest, it does sound as if she's more interested in being friends than anything else, but it's worth confirming this with ... (read in full...)
After a month, how do I know if I really love him?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a month now. We're both trying to take it slow, we've had bad relationships in the past and we both are trying to make this work and not make the mistakes we've made in our past relationships. WE want a ...
A. 8 March 2006: I think you're getting a bit too hung-up on this one. After a month, no-one can honestly say whether they're in love, in my opinion - and that's not because of your age, it's just because you barely know each other! I realise you don't want to get ... (read in full...)
I didn't set him up! What can I do to get him to talk to me again?
Q. I split up with my ex nearly four months ago. Since then I have seen him three times. He txtd me three days before my birthday a few weeks ago to tell me he was in town. I thought he had just done this to make me jealous as I had not heard from him ...
A. 8 March 2006: Seriously, it sounds as if you're not quite being honest with yourself here. Why are you texting him all the time, even after he's asked you to leave him alone? The whole pub story is very confusing, but it sounds to me as if he feels utterly messed ... (read in full...)
My bf's parents won't let him go out.....now he wants to break up with me
Q. I have a problem I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 weeks. We've been on a few dates together and everything has been going fantastically well and we are both very much into eachother. However, recently, he had some problems at home, h...
A. 8 March 2006: Yes, back off. I don't mean this in a nasty way, but you two have only just started to get to know each other - it's much too early to be putting any pressure on him. It sounds like he has problems at home, and you should let him know that if he ... (read in full...)
My ex and I have a son together, but I still really want to be with him!
Q. i have a 3 yr old son with my x , well at the moment he is my x, we've been broken up for nearly 2 yrs now but we was still having sex, this near our son will be 4. i am still in love with him and don't know how to move on as his love is the only ...
A. 8 March 2006: You poor thing - I really feel for you. You've had a difficult time in life and it's no wonder that you're struggling with relationships when you've been deprived of normal family interaction. I'll be honest though; it sounds as if you've got ... (read in full...)
Can't make boyfriend cum by giving head. Why?
Q. Ok I have a problem. I have been with my bf for a long time now, and I have never ever been able to make him cum by giving him head. He tells me its awesome and that he love it when I go down on him, and his whole body shakes when Im doing it. He ...
A. 7 March 2006: Have you talked to him about this? It might just be that he's making a really big effort not to come, either because he thinks you won't like it or because he'd rather go on to other things first, if you know what I mean! It definitely sounds like ... (read in full...)
I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 6 March 2006: Realistically, something is only going to happen in Germany if YOU want it to happen. You don't mention whether you're happy with your husband, but whether you are or not, you should really think about your recent actions - you haven't behaved very ... (read in full...)
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