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... Send *exybum a private message | | | *exybum's profile:Hiya I'm from England.
I came to dearcupid for advice and was instantly intrigued, ever since I've enjoyed passing advice stemmed from my own experience, to help other people through tricky situations. You come across a wide variety of situations on this site and I beleive the more I read, the more i learn about other people and how the world goes round...... |
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Would you keep cheating if you could get away with it?
Q. Here is one for the girls and the lads.... If you cheated (whether you were drunk or sober, intentional or unitentional) and you got away with it. I mean either your partner didn't find out, or your partner did find out and either forgave you or d...
A. 28 February 2017: Hiya Shania... No idea if you are still on this website or not... I stumbled back on here after nearly 10 years as on of my friends was having some trouble so I directed here and got curious.. I just wanted to post to say... it did not happen ... (read in full...)
Would you keep cheating if you could get away with it?
Q. Here is one for the girls and the lads.... If you cheated (whether you were drunk or sober, intentional or unitentional) and you got away with it. I mean either your partner didn't find out, or your partner did find out and either forgave you or d...
A. 22 March 2006: P.S he is an ex boyfriend now, I'm just wanna figure where I went wrong. I think I gave him my trust and he abused it, any feedback is appreciated........... (read in full...)
Am I a feak for having a "fat" vagina?
Q. im kind of worried about something, and i could use some honest answers from guys (or girls if they know!) well its weird, but i think my vagina is too fat. im not overweight, but for some reason it seems like the outer lips are too "puffy". im ...
A. 22 March 2006: Hiya, everyones vagina is shaped in different ways. Some peoples outer lips are bigger then the inners, some people have bigger inners than outer!
Some people even have bigger lips on say the left side then they do on the right. You are not Abno... (read in full...)
My guy friend seems to be moving our friendship in a new direction. At least, it seems that way...
Q. A guy friend of mine just told me last night that if soulmates were real and that people could complete another person, I would be that person to him. He went on to say how much he values me, and that I'm a great person. We've always said "I love ...
A. 22 March 2006: Hiya, I think he definatly wanted something to come out of it. He was trying to take your friendship to the next level.
He wants to be your boyfriend and he wants you to be his girlfriend, He wants a relationship, thats what he was trying t... (read in full...)
Would you keep cheating if you could get away with it?
Q. Here is one for the girls and the lads.... If you cheated (whether you were drunk or sober, intentional or unitentional) and you got away with it. I mean either your partner didn't find out, or your partner did find out and either forgave you or d...
A. 21 March 2006: Hey Shania thanks for your insight, but I'm posting this question because this is what he has done to me. I have never cheated on him, like you said my consience wouldn't let me, plus I have respect! However I think he knew he could get away with ... (read in full...)
What can I get my man that's special when he comes back?
Q. My partner will be returning from working overseas to visit, I haven't seen him for almost a year, and we have always remained faithful to eachother and we aren't out as a couple. When he comes to visit, I want to get him something specia...
A. 21 March 2006: Ummm, a small portrait of you and him, a poem , music c.d. The list is endless, what does he really have a passion for!?
Hey here's an idea why don't you get a camcorder and have a day with him when he visits. You can record the whole day of s... (read in full...)
I have a great boyfriend but fancy a girl at work like crazy!
Q. Ok, I'm 21 and have a great boyfriend who would do anything for me and always treats me right blah d blah but I can't help to think im gay. I work in the usual workplace where everyone is bitchy and stubborn! however there is this new girl an...
A. 21 March 2006: Hello I'm just wonderring.... I've read a similar question;
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-really-like-this-girl-at-work-and.html
Take a look, could it be the girl you fancy who posted the question? Even if its not I still think you should... (read in full...)
How can I leave him without him making me guilty for it?
Q. Hi, I am 40 years old and I have been married for 09 years. I don´t have no children. I have been living a very unhappy life because I came to live since 2002 with my husband to his home town and he is suffering because his both parents are old and ...
A. 21 March 2006: He is mentally dominating you. You should be able to choose what you do in your life not him. If you want to work, you should get a job and he'll have to accept it! We are not in the victorian times anymore this is the 21st century!!
Inste... (read in full...)
I feel resentment because my wife sees sex as a "chore" and shows no enthusiasm! Any tips?
Q. I'm wondering about womens attitudes towards sex. I know everybody is different but allow me to explain. I work rotating. This week I'm working nights, 11 pm - 7am. This doesn't leave us much time for sex. We also have two teenagers runing...
A. 17 March 2006: Hiya me again! I just thought I'd add its hard to answer this question as I am a women I don't understand a mans frustration, (and I'm sort of time -at work!!) Maybe you could try and get Eddies attention and see if he can help, mans point of view ... (read in full...)
I feel resentment because my wife sees sex as a "chore" and shows no enthusiasm! Any tips?
Q. I'm wondering about womens attitudes towards sex. I know everybody is different but allow me to explain. I work rotating. This week I'm working nights, 11 pm - 7am. This doesn't leave us much time for sex. We also have two teenagers runing...
A. 17 March 2006: Hey I thought I'd let you know there's a similar sort of question with a brill answer posted recently, might be beneficial to have a look ' I wasn't in the mood, but he still got his releif, so should I be worried ' the question was posted on March ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 17 March 2006: Hiya Andrew
Sexybum here with a long list of helplines applicable to the uk. Have tried to cover all aspects that appear to prop up on dearcupid and all ages, hope it is useful.....
1) CHILDLINE 0800 1111 or www.childline.or... (read in full...)
I told her I wasn't a virgin!
Q. hi im 18 years old and still a virgin because i wanted to wait for someone i liked, now i have been seein this girl who is 1 year younger things are going well an i think this will be the 1!!!the thing is she is quite experienced and i tld her im ...
A. 16 March 2006: I will keep my reply short and simple,
When I lost my virginity I lied to the guy and told him that 'of course I wasn't a virgin!!!' He took my virginity without even knowing it!!!
I was too embaressed to admit it to anyone for many years, in fa... (read in full...)
New feature: Ratings by question asker
Q. Hi guys if you go to the "top agony aunts" link (www.dearcupid.org/people), you will now see ratings by question asker. I'll shortly be rolling this out to your column page too so you can see your ratings at a glance. Thanks! Andrew PS. As...
A. 16 March 2006: I saw the new scoring almost instantly and am quite chuffed to be in the top ten! I remember when I first came on this website I showed my ex some of the answers I put down and he started scoring them all as poor, don't know why!!! Obviously I saw ... (read in full...)
She claims never to have "flicked the bean"... Is this normal!?
Q. I have a question that I'm appealing to the women to help me with. My wife of 20 years, claims she has never masturbated. Not once in her life. Is this on the extreme end of normal/common? I have a hard time imagining that. I'm not saying it's ...
A. 16 March 2006: If she's been married to you for 20 years then I wouldn't understand why she would make it up. I guess there must be some women out there that actually are telling the truth when they say they havn't done it! I mean... do you have any specific ... (read in full...)
Sex with my girlfriend only lasts 5-10 minutes! What can I do to slow down?
Q. My girlfriend and I have sex once in awhile, but we don't last 5 to 10 mins before I finish. Is there any reason for it and how can I fix it? Also, her cherry hasn't even broke, but she feels me pushing on it when we do have sex. Is there anythin...
A. 15 March 2006: ok here's some advice, but you before it works you will need to pull your girlfriend in on it, it takes two to tango therefore it should take two to learn the tango correctly, not just one, maybe you can print off your letter and string of answers ... (read in full...)
I wasn't in the mood, but he still got his relief, so should I be worried?
Q. 2 nights ago, my boyfriend of 15 months wanted sex and I wasnt in the mood. After pestering me for some time and not getting anywhere, he went to the toilet and relieved himself. Should I be worried? I dont know what to do....
A. 15 March 2006: I don't think there is anything to be worried about. Cor, sometimes I wish my boyfriend (ex) would've done that instead of nagging me all night!!!!! If you are not in the mood then it doesn't mean he doesn't need relieving, he would've had all that ... (read in full...)
New feature: Add an aunt as a friend (favourite)!
Q. Hi guys, we now have "social networking" where you can add friends to a list of favourites. I still need to add the functionality to see all their posts but you can start building your list. There is an "add as a friend" link on the question pag...
A. 15 March 2006: Fantastic idea, thats a good way to overcome potential spamming, if you remove someone from your list does that stop them frrom being able to email you?... (read in full...)
Am I lame for being so excited to know I make her happy?
Q. i recently read my girlfriend's AIM profile and it says in captions "(a certain date) - happy again" i felt so happy because that certain date was when i asked her out or when we became official. i jumped up and down 10 times and i did push ups even ...
A. 10 March 2006: No you're not lame at all, thats so nice, I wish I could make a man react like that! Take it you are happy again!........ (read in full...)
Basically, I'm seeing my boss and it's so frustrating
Q. I am currently in a relationship which is difficult as I am constantly feeling unloved and uncared for although my bf tells me he loves me etc. I just always feel second best, basically I'm seeing my boss and it's so frustrating as we did fall madly ...
A. 10 March 2006: Never say its my insecurities and not his. When you are in a relationship with someone and they care about you then they take your feelings on board and try their best to make you happy.
How long have you guys been seeing each other? I wonder i... (read in full...)
Don't know if my ex and I can ever get back together. Do I wait and see or take a chance with someone new?
Q. My bf broke up with me a couple of months ago. He's wanted to get back together a few different times. He says his feelings haven't changed at all, there's just other stuff going on with him. The last part is definitely true, he's got a lot going ...
A. 10 March 2006: Firstly I don't think you go with his friend. You said at the beginning of your letter you would do anything to be supportive and that you love him and see yourselves getting back together. If you go with his 'mate' you will probably hurt him, and ... (read in full...)
Smeedle and Willy-W?
Q. I'm not sure this will get published, but... Should "smeedle" and "willywombat" get together? They're clearly in lurrrrrrrrrrve!...
A. 10 March 2006: LOL, oh dear this has gone too far, you are actually making me blush! Willywombat is women, so am I!! hehehe, her picture was of a cute guy, and somebody ELSE said that they had thought 'he' was cute! I had a little giggle about it.
I must sen... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 10 March 2006: Hiya Andrew,
From reading the suggestions that Mrs M, Mags, posted about agony aunts directing people to services that may not be in their country, NHS, Brook Clinic etc.etc. I would just like to say I've done this a few times as its been obvious ... (read in full...)
My girl slept with a guy from work... And broke my heart right two.
Q. Hi there. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 years. We've been engaged for about 5. In February I found out she had slept with a guy from her work. I've since found out the lad has done this to a number of girls who work at the hospital where they ...
A. 9 March 2006: Ahh, I do understand you, its funny about this site, you know as your getting your 'withdrawel symptons' you can keep posting questions, I find it extremely helpful to answer the questions, when you hear about so many other people in the situations, ... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 9 March 2006: hahahah, you do make me laugh, anyway, better stop spamming this answer! You see a discussion board wouldn't be so bad would it!... (read in full...)
I don't feel good about myself anymore since my abusive ex-fiancee!
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anyone could give me advice please. I want to feel good about sex or my own sexual values (what are those anyway?)but I was in a verbally abusive relationship in which I have my virginity to him and now I don't feel good about ...
A. 9 March 2006: Honey, please go to your docter and tell him how you feel, they help with things like this as well you know!
I felt so bad about myself and they suggested counselling, I thought it would be a waste of time, why do I wanna trudge through all the ... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 9 March 2006: hehhehehe... (read in full...)
My female friend is getting it on with her own sister! How should I deal with this?
Q. One of my friends (who's 16) recently told me her and her sister are so close they even have sexualy contact. She told me they perform oral sex on each other and I find this very disturbing. Her sister is 14 and they have apparantly had this ...
A. 9 March 2006: Hey, I do feel for you I've just read all of these answers you have received so far.. I bet they haven't helped too much as you've got one group telling you to keep quiet and another group telling you to speak up. Don't let these answers confuse ... (read in full...)
A one night stand wanted to keep in touch, but then told me about another woman! What's this??
Q. I met a guy back in mid November, I am in my mid 40's, he is 40. It was supposed to be a one night stand, that ended up being more... Shortly after Christmas I heard from him, vis a text message that he was in a real mess with huge problems, he ...
A. 9 March 2006: hehehhe lol, I thought 'he' was cute as well!!!!... (read in full...)
His mother is his life, will this relationship last?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 19 years. He does'nt want marriage or commitment - he has never been married before and lives with his 91 year old mother who is his life. What do I do don't love him anymore I only see him on Saturday evenings ...
A. 9 March 2006: His mother is very old, 91 years old!! I should expect she needs a lot of looking after. If she is his whole life, then he must now be very anxious at the fact that he could loose her soon and must be making the most of his time left with her and ... (read in full...)
My girl slept with a guy from work... And broke my heart right two.
Q. Hi there. I've been with my girlfriend for 9 years. We've been engaged for about 5. In February I found out she had slept with a guy from her work. I've since found out the lad has done this to a number of girls who work at the hospital where they ...
A. 9 March 2006: Honey, I know how you feel cause I just found out my boyfriend cheated and has been cheating on me. I wasn't in a relationship for as long as you. But from reading your letter I just have to say something to you.I'm sorry you feel like this. Its the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's family hates me and I can't handle much longer!
Q. im so pissed off that my boyfriend's family hates me we did get on, now i can't even bring myself to even go to his house or even phone his house phone!!!! wot can i do???? i am only in my middle teens but i know that this boy is the one for me, i ...
A. 8 March 2006: Hey chill, I know you've probably heard this before.. But when I was mid teens I met this guy who I totally loved.. I beleived we were made for each other and would get married and have babies and have such an exciting life, Thats what your HORMONES ... (read in full...)
He kissed me, but also my friend.....does he really like me?
Q. There is this guy that i really like and i know that he likes me, we have kissed. i know that he is a bit of a player and i dont want to get hurt. I am a virgin and i know that he is very experienced and i don't know if he just wants sex. I do ...
A. 8 March 2006: Yes, sorry hun, but the fact that he kissed your mate after kissing you does sound like he's just having a bit of fun, I'd suggest you forget about having a relationship with this guy NOW! While your still in the early days, you and your friend both ... (read in full...)
My bf's parents won't let him go out.....now he wants to break up with me
Q. I have a problem I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 weeks. We've been on a few dates together and everything has been going fantastically well and we are both very much into eachother. However, recently, he had some problems at home, h...
A. 8 March 2006: I agree with missbunbury, the lad is having problems at home and maybe its not such a good time for you two to be getting involved with each other, you don't want to end up wrapped up in his personal problems...
You sound quite young and I would ... (read in full...)
Should you expect everything in a relationship to be perfect?
Q. I am trying desperately to work things out with my girlfriend. We broke up about a month ago but I really want to try again. Our relationship was not perfect for a couple of months before it ended, but it still had A LOT going for it. My q...
A. 8 March 2006: Maybe it would help if you told us the reason behind you split...Girls canbe very complicated creatures... (read in full...)
Finding this whole sex thing pretty hard work!
Q. I have a hard time being connected with my body during sex. I cant seem to shut my mind up - I just constantly concentrate on trying to have an orgasm or trying to get "wet" - but I can never seem to relax and enjoy it, I do have orgasms but somt...
A. 8 March 2006: Oh love, what do mean 'fix yourself'. You are not broken! And bless you, you don't need fixing. It sounds as if you are not comfortable with your sex life at the moment. Are there other deeper issues that are bothering you, or do you feel pressured ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your views on DearCupid.org
Q. Hi everyone Thought I would introduce myself. My name is Andrew and I'm the guy who runs this site... Yes, it is just a one-man-band! I'm looking for ideas on what new features to add to the site and want YOUR input. I am thinking of the ...
A. 8 March 2006: Hiya Andrew
I'm enjoying your site so much I can't help but to come on everyday. Its such a good idea and its also really therapeutic. You find yourself taking your own advice and realising things you never realised before. I think you are resp... (read in full...)
I've fallin' for this guy......but he only wants sex!
Q. I am a seventeen year old girl and i have recently seen sense. When I was 15 i'd jump into bed with just about anybody and i was known as the class tramp. Fortunately, now i have started to respect myself and realised that affection is not gain...
A. 7 March 2006: Good words from WillyWombat.
You don't want anyone to tell you to move on because you know thats probably what your going to have to do. Either that or give in and shag him (and he is likely to go once he's had his cake) PLEASE bear in mind that... (read in full...)
His cousin is getting in between our relationship with eachother!
Q. Cousins! Me and my boyfriend have a loving relationship.However, his female cousin is interferring,all the time.She has told me she loves him, and in her own words "If he wasnt my cousin,I'd 'rag' him senseless" Also told me "You've got comp...
A. 7 March 2006: What is it with cousins wanting to sleep with each other !!!!! ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
First of all I understand how tricky this situation is because like you said she is a member of his family! But honestly does everone know how she's behaving... (read in full...)
My boyfriend can't enter me easily during sex!
Q. i dont know if it is just nerves but i am having problems with my boyfriend being easily able to enter into me to have sex. is their anything i can use to make insertion easier?...
A. 7 March 2006: Lubricant and more foreplay for you could make it easier. Have you had a very active sex life with each other before and the problem just cropped up? Or are you experiencing a problem with starting a sex life with each? ... (read in full...)
Apart from sex, what can I do to keep him interested?
Q. My boyfriend is 26 and i'm 19.He was like the male character from a romance novel before.Now he's losing it for me.Im not ready to have sex with him.what can i do to keep him interested in me? I really love him and he says that he loves me.Please ...
A. 7 March 2006: Don't just have sex with him to keep him happy. Don't do it until you are ready. PLEASE take the advice that irish and smeedle have given you. Establish the lines you are willing to cross and be confident in yourself. At the end of the day if he... (read in full...)
I keep my daughter from seeing her dad as little as possible..am I choosing the right path on my daughter's behalf ?
Q. I wrote in yesterday and tried to respond…but there was an error…“I’ve been so strong but will I regret not having him in my life?” Thanx for your insightful advice on this one, I don’t have anyone else to discuss this with and appreciate all your ...
A. 7 March 2006: I think you know you are better than this guy and can do better. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean you should take him back and be unhappy. From what you've written you've proven that are actually quite a strong person, despite the ... (read in full...)
Did I make a mistake..showing my bf my posting on Cupid.org?
Q. i reccently wrote a question on here, releasing how i feel for my boyfriend and our relationship. i don't know why well actually i guess its because i wanted to share how i felt, but i showed my boyfriend what i wrote. i guess it was a really stupid ...
A. 7 March 2006: Sharing it should have bought you closer because your trying to communicate with him. You have done nothing wrong bless him he's probably just shocked! Let him read it in his own time and give him a chance to come round. He needs to discuss his ... (read in full...)
Attracted to my friend's boyfriend, and I *know* it's wrong!
Q. I really need some help. I have been friends with this woman for over 20 years. We hadn't spent much time together in recent years, but started hanging out again recently. My problem is that I am extremely attracted to her live-in boyfrien...
A. 7 March 2006: Well done for confessing to your husband it shows you have respect and do care for him, even if you have shared a kiss with someone. Jacquie is spot on. Its ok to be attracted to other people, however when you're already in a loving relation... (read in full...)
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