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... Send *exybum a private message | | | *exybum's profile:Hiya I'm from England.
I came to dearcupid for advice and was instantly intrigued, ever since I've enjoyed passing advice stemmed from my own experience, to help other people through tricky situations. You come across a wide variety of situations on this site and I beleive the more I read, the more i learn about other people and how the world goes round...... |
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Would you keep cheating if you could get away with it?
Q. Here is one for the girls and the lads.... If you cheated (whether you were drunk or sober, intentional or unitentional) and you got away with it. I mean either your partner didn't find out, or your partner did find out and either forgave you or d...
A. 28 February 2017: Hiya Shania... No idea if you are still on this website or not... I stumbled back on here after nearly 10 years as on of my friends was having some trouble so I directed here and got curious.. I just wanted to post to say... it did not happen ... (read in full...)
Are heels when naked sexy or slutty?
Q. Do guys consider it sexy when a woman wears heel naked during sex early on in a relationship or do they simply get the impression that the girl is a slut and begin to treat her like a fuck buddy? ...
A. 4 April 2006: heels, are dangerous! heheheh mens bits are sensitive!! Maybe each man thinks its different it would just depend on the type of bloke you've got, whetehr he's a pig that would look at a women as a sex machine (in which case he's not worth it) or a ... (read in full...)
Am I being 'slutty?'
Q. I went on a date several months ago, where at the end of the night my date and I dry humped only. On the second date, he and I made love in the front seat of my car. On the third date, things got a little more serious and I wore heels only, and ...
A. 4 April 2006: To be honest only you can say. It would depend why you were doing it and if you were happy or not. Do you feel comfortable with what has happenned? Are you happy about it and quite content? If you are then I don't see what the problem is!? I don't ... (read in full...)
Hey Moderaters how do you know if the question is a hoax?
Q. Hi there, A question about dearcupid.org. I read one question on here and someone suspected it of being a hoax. How can you tell whether the article is a hoax or not?? A.N. Other??...
A. 31 March 2006: Because it will be a stupid question and way of the ranks of normality and in fact it will be way of the ranks of weirdness!
Some people just post things to get a rise out of people and I think this just takes advantage of the agony aunts ca... (read in full...)
I stayed after school and ended up having sex with my ICT teacher!
Q. I really fancy my ICT teacher. Then last night I stayed at school late to finish my dida (ICT ) coursework, and during that time, me and my teacher were talking and he leaned over and kissed me. We ended up having sex and now I don't know what to ...
A. 30 March 2006: Hiya me again, just to say that after reading Willywombats follow ups, I think that she could understand you more than anyone else who has answered this question. From whats she's written shows that she can understamd where you are coming from, see ... (read in full...)
I stayed after school and ended up having sex with my ICT teacher!
Q. I really fancy my ICT teacher. Then last night I stayed at school late to finish my dida (ICT ) coursework, and during that time, me and my teacher were talking and he leaned over and kissed me. We ended up having sex and now I don't know what to ...
A. 30 March 2006: I'm sorry about this Willy Wombat but I am going to have to completely disagree with you on this one! You cannot say that she is just as much to blame as this man is. That's not true at all, she is 15 and he has abused his power, taken advantage of ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 with facial hair can any one help!
Q. At what age should i be looking to shave at as im 14 and already I have facial hair. what should i do please help asap...
A. 30 March 2006: You don't have to be any particular age to start shaving. I started shaving my armpits when I was 12! I got shaving advice from my big sister and also spoke to my mum about razors and hair removals.
Best thing to do is speak to your parents ... (read in full...)
His night time habits are hurting me and I feel used, please help!
Q. hi My partner and I are going through a really bad patch and arguing frequently about sexual problems. The main problem is my partner has nocturnal emissions every night and i feel hurt the next day, we argue and then it starts again. He also c...
A. 29 March 2006: Right then I stick with my original advice. You really need to go get some professional advice for his nocturnal emmisions, I think you should go with him and hear what the doc has to say, because it will help you understand as well. I also still ... (read in full...)
Found my brother and our stepmum in flagrante!
Q. I am 15 year old girl and yesterday I caught my 17 year old brother having sex with our 30 year old stepmum. I was totally disgusted at the sight of brother and stepmum going at it like rabbits the moment they caught sight of me they jumped out of b...
A. 29 March 2006: I think you need to print out your question and your answers and show it to your dad... (read in full...)
I think he has lied about his ex and him being together when we were. What should I do?
Q. Hi, feeling a bit down and confused at the mo. I've been seeing my boyfriend now for 6 months and i guess we've actually formally been together for about 3, we were sort of just seeing eachother before then. around christmas time i found ...
A. 29 March 2006: To tell you the truth honey I don't think you should trust him at all, It is only 6 or as you say 3 months into your relationship and you already have problems this big!! Not a good sign, get out now! I know that is not what you want to hear, but ... (read in full...)
His night time habits are hurting me and I feel used, please help!
Q. hi My partner and I are going through a really bad patch and arguing frequently about sexual problems. The main problem is my partner has nocturnal emissions every night and i feel hurt the next day, we argue and then it starts again. He also c...
A. 29 March 2006: Have you thought about going to a marriage counsellor, there seems to be issues here that need to be confronted, and it could be more beneficial if done in a professional manner.
I can't reallt give you any more advice because I don't know what... (read in full...)
I'm 30, he's 16, I love him but he won't meet me!
Q. hi, well I'm confused he's 16 I'm 30 we like each other and get along too. We met on the internet but he's saying he wants to wait 1 to 2 years for we meet. How can i cope with the distance and without seeing each other we are falling in love too. ...
A. 29 March 2006: I would question your state of mind to be feeling this anxious over someone who is very young. I wonder why it is you want to be with someone with suchan age difference.
To tell you the truth I think he is wise not to meet you. For all he knows you ... (read in full...)
I am sexually inexperienced..so do I make a play for my brother's best friend?
Q. Hi I have a question well its two questions really. I like my older brothers friend and I think he likes me, I'm unsure what to do about it because number one he's my brothers friend and I'm not so sure that it would be good as it could jeopardise ...
A. 29 March 2006: I don't think you should try and start any type of relationship with your brothers friends if it is only in order to have a sexual experience. The relationship would be worthless and I doubt it would make you feel any better.
If you guys really l... (read in full...)
Shall I contact my celebrity crush?
Q. Hi Again! I have something thats troubling me. Just recently I have become depressed. I have been watching "24" since it began and my feelings for Kiefer Sutherland have suddennly grew. It started off as admiration for him as he is a wo...
A. 29 March 2006: I think that you should write the letter. In it don't write about how much you want to meet him and ask him about his life etc... because to be honest that is very unlikely to happen. Also it might scare him off reading your letter and giving you ... (read in full...)
He was so apologetic, but now he hasn't even called me back!
Q. Ok i wrote in yesterday about my boyfriend always putting his friends before me and our plans. now i have another problem.we spoke on the phone last night (he rang me by the way, i never gave in) and he was so appologetic and swearing he will never ...
A. 28 March 2006: Just chiil, he phoned you yesterday, and you only posted your original question yesterday. If you thing sto improve then it won't happen over night. If you WANT to persue a relationship with him and you want him to pay you more attention then you'll ... (read in full...)
He keeps letting me down and going with his mates instead! What am I supposed to do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and up until lately things have been fantastic, the problem is he keeps letting me down with our plans for a night out with his mates. We make arrangements then as soon as he gets a sniff of the pub he ...
A. 28 March 2006: Glad to be of service x ... (read in full...)
My ex bf and I are just friends but what's a good way to make him see..we could be more?
Q. My ex and I still keep in touch..what is a good way for us to stay friends and maybe make him see that he might want to be more than just friends in the future?...
A. 28 March 2006: I agree with the writer below, the only way to let him see you could be more is by telling him what you want. If you don't then you are not likely to move forward and probably unhappy or nervous in your 'friendship'
I've done this before, ... (read in full...)
My dad is cheating on my stepmum..I want to tell her but fear ruining everything! What should I do?
Q. ok this is long, i apologize: i found out my dad cheated on my stepmom, and not only lied to her but to me and my siblings a lot as well. he cheated with a girl (who used to be my friend) who is a month younger. i found out and confronted them both, ...
A. 28 March 2006: Hello there, this a long answer but here goes.....
It will be unpleasent there's no doubt about that. I think that you guys should tell her. Its going to be found out anyway, these things always come out in the open sooner or later. If the girl... (read in full...)
He keeps letting me down and going with his mates instead! What am I supposed to do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and up until lately things have been fantastic, the problem is he keeps letting me down with our plans for a night out with his mates. We make arrangements then as soon as he gets a sniff of the pub he ...
A. 27 March 2006: I don't think you are being selfish at all. The thing is with relationships when you firast get together you only see each other through rose tinted specatcles. Soon after the honey moon period where's off you start to see their true colours, ... (read in full...)
We had sex with a condom, but I think she may be pregnant...!
Q. Could she be pregnant? Hi there. I am worrying that my girlfriend might be pregnant. On the 18th of this month we had sex with a condom and I have cum inside of her, but with the condom still on. Can she be pregnant? It is now the 27th. Please hel...
A. 27 March 2006: Hello there, she is extremely unlikely to be pregant. Really she should only have a chance of being pregant BY YOU if the condom split or was broken in any way, or came off. She also wouldn't be able to tell if she was pregant until after she had ... (read in full...)
He says our seeing eachother has to be a secret, what's this about?
Q. met this guy, was kissing him for a week,really nice but then he dumped me and went back to his ex girlfriend however said he still wanted to remain friends which was good because we are in the same circle of friends. but now we are still texting ...
A. 27 March 2006: When you say you are still texting and meeting up... Is it in a flirtasious way or is it completely plantonic? Does his girlfriend meet up with you, or do you two just meet up your own.
The reason I ask is because I wonder if his girlfrie... (read in full...)
How soon should after being dumped should you start dating?
Q. Hi, i was just wondering how soon is appropriate to start seeing someone else after spliting up with a long-term boyfriend. I am in position where, my boyfriend dumped me about 2 weeks ago (after 3 yrs) and a male friend of mine has told me that he ...
A. 27 March 2006: There is a popular time period people like to give and that's three months. It gives you enough time for your wounds to heal, get back in control of your feelings, you know get your ex fully out of your system and you still have the desire for a man ... (read in full...)
Call for moderators to help out with DearCupid!
Q. Hi everyone, This is another appeal for volunteers to be moderators. You get to approve and categorise questions and approve answers. If you could spare say ten minutes a few times a week, then this could be for you! Just add your name in thi...
A. 27 March 2006: I'd like to help, but if I did I would like you to give me some advice / guidelines.... help me know what to let through and what not to let through. Also how much stuff do you pass to each person, can you set guidelines of how much you are willing ... (read in full...)
I want him so badly..but he won't leave his gf! What shoulld I do?
Q. Hi. i currently work at a firm and since i have started there i have liked the look of him, but i never took any action. anyway we had a works doo at christmas and we started talking and began to get closer as the night went on. i found out that he ...
A. 24 March 2006: I'm sorry to be so blunt but I think he is a player. He was goin behind his girlfriends back with you, you were just fun to him, as his girlfriend is obviously just fun to him. He is the type of bloke who can't and won't face up to his actions. You ... (read in full...)
Site news: Forums now live!
Q. Hi people The forums are now live (www.dearcupid.org/forum or click the link at the top right of the screen). This is very much a work in progress. So, get on over there and get started. Any relationship QUESTIONS or PROBLEMS should sti...
A. 24 March 2006: Hiya, was just wonderring what the permalink is on the message boards??... (read in full...)
Site news: Forums now live!
Q. Hi people The forums are now live (www.dearcupid.org/forum or click the link at the top right of the screen). This is very much a work in progress. So, get on over there and get started. Any relationship QUESTIONS or PROBLEMS should sti...
A. 24 March 2006: Cool, ta Andrew I just posted something in one of them, hope to get a converstaion started, I really need to sound off this morning so you couldn't have created them at a better time! Lets hope it kicks off well!
Thanks Sexybum x ... (read in full...)
I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 23 March 2006: UGGGHHH - I think thats pretty disgraceful, take it you like being deceitful to your HUSBAND, I think you've shown that you don't even have a slight bit of decency by admitting it to him. You are a completely untrustworthy person (there are words I ... (read in full...)
Can you be in love with someone yet cheat on them?
Q. Is it possible for a bloke to cheat on his wife/ fiance and still be in love with her? Can you still be in love with someone and cheat on them?...
A. 23 March 2006: Every person is different as to what they want out of a relationship. There are those that are happy with open relationships and then there are those who wish to have their lover all to themselves.
Each is entilted to this and cannot be critised... (read in full...)
Had a one night stand last night and now I feel bad... Why?
Q. I had sex with a guy i know last nite. I am not normally the kind of girl who has one nite stands. I feel so guilty and i can't understand why i feel that way or why i did it really. I got ditched by my ex quite some time ago but still i feel like ...
A. 23 March 2006: Hey there, don't be so hard on yourself! You know I think I'd feel the same as you. I 've just split up from someone and altough I'm getting comfortable with the split I don't really know how I'd ever be able to 'be' with any one else in that way... ... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of an attitude problem? Any Advice???
Q. I have a huge attitude problem and it's getting in the way of me and my boyfriends relationship. He keeps telling me that if this keeps happening, we're going to be over. I have a couple examples for you: Ex.#1: Last night, we just got done ma...
A. 23 March 2006: I'm going to give a short answer and it is yes I do think getting real help for this is EXACTLY what you need to do. You are very wise as you have already admitted your problem and already worked out that outside help is the way forward for you.
... (read in full...)
He's strong willed, and that attracted me. But should I just let him be right 100% of the time, because he feels it's his role?
Q. I started seeing someone, we've been talking for a month now, and we are intimate. He is a very strong willed and strong minded black man. He has a lot of beliefs about certain things and of course I am a writer and I have my own opinions and I ...
A. 23 March 2006: I think he sounds patronising and controlling. Are you looking for a father figure? You could stay with him and develop low self esteem because you will not be aloud to speak even your opinion without being told off, or you could find a man who ... (read in full...)
Have I fallen into the friendship trap?
Q. I am wondering what it means when someone your intrested in suddenly begins to call you buddy all the time. I have never revealed my feelings towards this woman, but i think that intuitivly she knows Im intrested and that she bagan calling me buddy...
A. 23 March 2006: I think you have figured it out for yourself already, I am the type of girl that hangs around with blokes and soemtimes you can sense when they want soemthing more. I make a consious effort to establish the fact that we are only friends. It does ... (read in full...)
We can never have ongoing conversations. We need help!
Q. Silence that is causing boredom in our relationship! When me and my girlfriend are just sitting down in front of the tv or sitting in the car, there are times when we would have nothing to say to each other and get totally bored of one another a...
A. 23 March 2006: Wow, maybe you are reading too much into this!? From what you have written I would suggest completely the opposite! How much time do you spend together and what do you do in yuor time apart. If the answer is nothing then that's where the problem ... (read in full...)
I need some advice on how to leave my boyfriend!
Q. how do i leave my boyfriend of five years? he tells me to call the cops when i ask him to leave. what do i do? he does not hit me....
A. 23 March 2006: Why does he tell you to call the cops? To move him out of the house? What country do you live in? I'm just wonderring because in the UK you CAN call the cops to come and get him out of your house, he would then be prosecuted for Domestic Abuse! What ... (read in full...)
I have no friends at all. Do I have social anxiety??
Q. hiya ppl, I realy dont know what to do!!im at college and have absolutily no mates at all. I feel like i should be going out and having fun because im young but find it so hard to make friends. I think i have social anxiety? I am always really wo...
A. 23 March 2006: Yeah I agree with what ladybaby has written you don't need to worry about age. My friends range from 16 - 40 and I'm 19! I have to admit I find older people easier to chat. I have a small group of 'friends' or aquantancies that I can go to for ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and we dated but he keeps dissapearing. I cant get him out of my head. Please help!!!
Q. ....firstly i went on a date with him, which he was late for, i liked him so much, but he didnt call the next day like he said he would. When i text him, he said hed been shopping! He then rang me and asked to meet him again and we briefly met ...
A. 23 March 2006: To tell you the truth I think you are onto a lost cause here hun. I don't see this going anywhere. This 'relationship' has turned sour before it has even started!
I was quite shocked to read that you dated his mates to get close to him! How does... (read in full...)
I love him but I can't resist the temptation to cheat on him. Any advice??
Q. hi, I am in a turmoil.I have been with my current boyfriend for about 3 years on and off.I'm 17 and going to university in september, about 2 hours from where i live now. I know that you will all probably start having a go at me, but i have cheated...
A. 23 March 2006: I can understand where you are coming from to a certain extent. I say that because I know how you feel, up until the point of cheating. You see I didn't cheat on my ex so I don't know how to answer that bit. But I can understand other bits you are ... (read in full...)
How can I get over my anxiety to want to be with her all the time?
Q. Help! I'm trying to understand and get control of my anxiety! Here's the -rather complicated- situation: My girlfriend is going through a divorce although has not yet moved out of her ex's place as she is waiting for her new apartment to...
A. 22 March 2006: I've got a small suggestion and it might seem a bit far fetched, but all advice is beneficial in some way!?!?! From reading your letter I would say that its obvious that as your relationship is building your constarints are becoming more and more ... (read in full...)
How do I stop my boyfriend "tapping" me?!
Q. My boyfrined of two months has a habit of "tapping" me which is beginning to drive me nuts! He taps me when he puts his arm around me, when I wake in the morning for a cuddle, he taps me. I've tried to make a joke of it and ask him if he's sending ...
A. 22 March 2006: Why don't you tap him back, just as much, maybe even more. There's a famous saying:
Actions speak louder than words..
So tap him back and let him see for himself how annoying it is, hopefully that'll stop him!!!... (read in full...)
Would you keep cheating if you could get away with it?
Q. Here is one for the girls and the lads.... If you cheated (whether you were drunk or sober, intentional or unitentional) and you got away with it. I mean either your partner didn't find out, or your partner did find out and either forgave you or d...
A. 22 March 2006: P.S he is an ex boyfriend now, I'm just wanna figure where I went wrong. I think I gave him my trust and he abused it, any feedback is appreciated........... (read in full...)
How do you know a lady is interested?
Q. Need Help Ladies. What signs do you give out when you like a guy? What are the things you do that us men should be aware of when you are attracted to us. I know you must act a certain way, do certain subtle things, etc. Looking for any types of...
A. 22 March 2006: If I like a guy I just can't help but flirt. I'm quite a confident girl, If I fancy a guy I put most my efforts into getting to know them to see if they are what I desire or not. I form friendships first.
Therefore; go along to things they are... (read in full...)
Am I a feak for having a "fat" vagina?
Q. im kind of worried about something, and i could use some honest answers from guys (or girls if they know!) well its weird, but i think my vagina is too fat. im not overweight, but for some reason it seems like the outer lips are too "puffy". im ...
A. 22 March 2006: Hiya, everyones vagina is shaped in different ways. Some peoples outer lips are bigger then the inners, some people have bigger inners than outer!
Some people even have bigger lips on say the left side then they do on the right. You are not Abno... (read in full...)
Would you keep cheating if you could get away with it?
Q. Here is one for the girls and the lads.... If you cheated (whether you were drunk or sober, intentional or unitentional) and you got away with it. I mean either your partner didn't find out, or your partner did find out and either forgave you or d...
A. 21 March 2006: Hey Shania thanks for your insight, but I'm posting this question because this is what he has done to me. I have never cheated on him, like you said my consience wouldn't let me, plus I have respect! However I think he knew he could get away with ... (read in full...)
I'm married but have slept with my cousin!
Q. hi im a married women about three weeks ago we all were having a few drinks at my house a few of my friends and my cousins where there when everyone went to bed my cousin asked me to stay up to help him with the computer after awhile he was getting ...
A. 6 March 2006: Do you realise how bad this is!?!? Lets put it into some perspective for you. Imagine you have two children and they have kids that sleep with each other. Imagine your grandchildren sleeping with each other. I think its disgusting that you ca... (read in full...)
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