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*appygirl

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*appygirl's profile:

I love to help people.I give great advice for others but awful advice for myself.I've been through a lot and consider life a wonderful journey full of ups and down. I believe I am wise through my years of traveling and seeing the world.I would like to help out anyway that I can because I think that is the reason we are here. To help each other.

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How do I get the feelings back after my wife had an affair?

Q.   My wife confessed to having an affair before we got married. This is 7 years in to our marriage. 20 years after being married she has a couple of affairs. I had no clue. Didn't ask to be told. Over 12 years have past since than and it still effects ...

A.   12 September 2008: you should try marraige counseling. you obviously lost a lot of trust and respect for her. You need to work out your problems together, because there is an underlying issue under all this. women cheat because they are not having their emotio... (read in full...)

I am the other girl and I want him to get caught cheating because I hate his girlfriend! How do I get caught on purpose?

Q.   I am the other girl. Slowly i'm realizing that he's a complete jerk and this all might not be worth it. I do enjoy being the other girl because I hate his girlfriend. How can i GET caught on purpose?? I want her to know, I want him to get caught. I ...

A.   12 September 2008: you're in your late 20's and by now you should be more mature enough to know these are immature games you a planning. Why are you spending your time & energy over this when it can be focused on other productive things. You hate his GF, but hati... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend so much, but this other guy is blowing my mind! I feel like a love-sick puppy!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am 23 years old, and have been dating my boyfriend for almost eight years now. We are high school sweethearts. It has been great, he is such a sweetheart and takes really good care of me. I have so many feelings for him and I am so ti...

A.   12 September 2008: what you are feeling is the rush of excitement of someone new. it's lust and infatuation. Chemicals are going off in your brain that literally is driving you crazy. We all get this way at the beginning of relationship. However, if you break up... (read in full...)

How do I pick one of these two men? I'm crying buckets of tears trying to figure this out!

Q.   I am responding to the others who seem to be in the same boat. I fell in love with D at age 18 he is 30 years my senior he was my first and only...he has protected me urged me to go to school and many other pos. things He is also married. 18 years ...

A.   12 September 2008: Wow. you are in a tough predicament. It's a hard decision that only you can make. But by reading your story,If i were you I would give J a chance and just remain friends with D. Although D is your first love, sometimes you have to move on. It's... (read in full...)

My problem is that I find myself being jealous over my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend who is dead, I also find myself reading his e-mails, and getting angry over messages to any woman, how do I get over these feelings?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for...exactly 17 months. We live together, are in a "commited" relationship, and get along really well. A year ago, his ex-girlfriend passed away in a tragic accident, and the year before that his father ...

A.   11 September 2008: i don't think talking will help. He is in mourning right now. I don't think one year is enough to heal. It's normal for you to feel jealous, but you cannot compare his ex to you. Or the love he has for his ex..and the love he has for you. It's two... (read in full...)

She won't return my calls after I had to cancel our date for a valid reason!

Q.   About 3 weeks ago, a girl that I liked and liked me sort of "asked me on a date." She wanted to go boating with me, and I said I'd do it, and we agreed on a date to meet. She was thrilled about going with me. Well, turns out, the boat rental ...

A.   11 September 2008: definitely don't give up. She made an effort and it's time for you to do the same. Give her a call on the phone and talk to her. She'll be happy to hear your voice if you are sincere with apologizing for canceling on her... (read in full...)

Is it me or is it his verbal abuse?

Q.   I'm 29 my boyfriend of three yrs.is 37. He has raised my three yr. old son since the age of five months. I love him very much and find it difficult to leave him though at times think I should. He is verbally abusive to me, most of the time in ...

A.   11 September 2008: I think us women put up with so much from our men because we love them so much. We excuse bad behavior because we tend to look at the good and ignore the bad. What it comes down to is how do you value yourself? Obviously he is degrading you. Are... (read in full...)

Guy blew me off so I sent him an apology! He said he'd get back to me..what does this mean?

Q.   Well this guy that i dated kind of blew me off, so I sent him this really cool apology letter. and I text him and ask did he get it and he said yes, he's thinking he will get back to me. What does that mean?...

A.   11 September 2008: why would you apologize to him when he blew you off? And why text to see if he got it? I think it means you need to give him his space because i doubt he will write back. Guys don't think or work that way... (read in full...)

Before we marry he wants me to sign a prenuptial contract, my heart says yes but my pride says no!

Q.   Im in my early twenties, my partner is in his thirties. basically we are getting married next year but before we do he wants me to sign a pre nup, i am quite offended by this as now i believe he doesnt trust me. his not a millionaire but has his own ...

A.   11 September 2008: I use to think like you. But after going through a divorce, i now see that marraige has a lot more to do with partnership than love. If you love him, then his money shouldn't matter to you. He is being logical and protecting himself. I... (read in full...)

How to stop being a hopeless romantic? I am sick of being nice and going nowhere.

Q.   Hi, I am a 22 year old guy, have never been on a date, and am very shy around girls. I have only been "close" to a few girls in my life, but never anything serious. Anyways, when I do get closer with them, I try to do little nice things for ...

A.   11 September 2008: thatonekid is right. We are biology attracted to strong males who are confident, outgoing, funny. We feel protected and secure. We love nice guys too but as a boyfriend, if you smother us, we can't breath and need our space. Also, it seem... (read in full...)

I am not able to forget my affair, to be able to carry on with my marriage!

Q.   I am a 44 years old man married for 10 years with 2 small adopted girls. I am a complete family man, however 5 years back I seriously fell in love with another woman. She was married too with no children. She was ready to break her marriage but I ...

A.   11 September 2008: "i hurt her and i hurt myself" Uh,,what about hurting your wife? I don't want to judge, but how can you have done the "right" thing by staying with your wife? You do not love her anymore. You say your ethics are real, but obviously you didn't... (read in full...)

I am not able to forget my affair, to be able to carry on with my marriage!

Q.   I am a 44 years old man married for 10 years with 2 small adopted girls. I am a complete family man, however 5 years back I seriously fell in love with another woman. She was married too with no children. She was ready to break her marriage but I ...

A.   11 September 2008: Sometimes we want what we can't have. This woman is the fantasy life that you imagined it to be in your head. But in reality, if you were to be married to her, all those fantasy would be out the window. And then you'll probably spend days thin... (read in full...)

We've been seeing each other casually but my feelings for him are growing! He keeps blowing hot and cold, why?

Q.   Ive kind of been seeing this chap for a few months. We decided we wanted things to be casual but i feel there changing between us now. My feelings for him are growing but im not sure how he feels for me. He keeps blowing hot and cold and im not ...

A.   11 September 2008: if you agreed to a casual relationship then that is how he sees you. He doesn't feel the need to answer your calls or text right away because you're not his girlfriend. If you have feelings for him, the best way to do it is not tell him just yet... (read in full...)

Isn't it hard enough being single? How do get through this embarassment?

Q.   I'm knocking on 30 and have never been in a serious relationship. Honestly, I haven't been on many dates either. No one seems interested in me. More and more my single friends are getting married and the married ones are having children and I ...

A.   11 September 2008: Guys love confident, outgoing girls. You seem very shy. there are ways to attact men. Smile, flirt be a little outgoing. The truth is...comments like that shouldn't bother you. There is no shame in being single. sometimes the grass is greener... (read in full...)

I am eleven years old, and I can't stop thinking about sex, and having sex, how can I stop this?

Q.   Hey aunts and uncles im 11 and lately i have been really into sex and i want to have sex really bad. Any ideas on how to stop this feeling?...

A.   10 September 2008: i agree with what everyone has said. it is your hormones that are acting crazy. you're body is changing and this is all normal. What's not normal is to act upon it. 11 is way too young to lose your virginity. You're emotions/mind need to catch up... (read in full...)

What can I do to stop worrying about my boyfriend's fidelity?

Q.   Ok well I met this guy.. I fell in love.. Usual stuff really! Well he's been distant with me lately... And he is on holiday and not even texting me... Oh he is in the saem country so he can it is possible... And I know it is also possible that he is ...

A.   10 September 2008: he's probably acting distant bacause he since you are being clingly and insecure. So he needs some space right now. The more you push he will pull away. So i say take a step back, give him his freedom and know that he loves you. You have your own ... (read in full...)

Is this a normal procedure for massage sessions?

Q.   My partner and had a couples massage in a posh hotel in Egypt. He chose the hot stone massage and I the Thai, one. He was on a massage table and I spent the hour being contorted on a mat on the floor. I was given eyeshades to wear but appa...

A.   10 September 2008: I've had many massages and i have to say they do it differently in all parts of the country. what you describe would never happenend it the USA. We are very strict. However i've had a massage in Vietnam where I they did everything differently. And ... (read in full...)

He says he misses me, but I always feel like I come second fiddle. I don't understand!

Q.   so this problem I had since last week continues. I just want to know what others think regarding this situation. So to summarize relationship between me and him, we first met at a party early this year in the east coast, where he lives. I am in the ...

A.   10 September 2008: Since he lives on the east coast, he is looking at you as a girl in the west coast he can hang out with. For some fun and if he's lucky..sex. He does not consider you his girlfriend, so what is the point of introducing you to his friends. he'l... (read in full...)

Is this his way of keeping me attached or is he just bored?

Q.   I was dating a known player for a short while and he got super serious. He asked me to moved in, insisted I got to know his family (hes 27 and only ever brought 3 girls home), and even said he loved me numerous times (I disagreed with him, tho to ...

A.   10 September 2008: If he is a known player, then you and sex/dating is just a game to him. having you around feeds his ego and makes him feel desirable. if you want something more serious with him, unfortanately you are not going to get it from him. He is in playe... (read in full...)

We differ on how to bring up children, now I'm sleeping with her daughter. What should I do?

Q.   This is the picture. I am 56 my partner 53 My 4 year relationship with my partner has suffered a major set back after over 1 year of continued arguments and disputes regarding the attitude between my partner and my 12year old daughter so much so ...

A.   10 September 2008: "Shockingly, I now feel I can love and make love with both the mother and her daughter equally but for different reasons." Okay, you need to wake up from la-la land if you think you can keep this going on. It's obvious that the step-daughte... (read in full...)

Did I do the right thing for breaking up with her because I thought she deserved better?

Q.   I broke up with my girlfriend of almost 2 and a half years. She is devastated. She gave 110% to the relationship but I could not return it. She feels used and thinks that I am an awful person. She did deserve a better fate for all that she put into ...

A.   10 September 2008: Personally I feel like you made the right decision. It takes a lot of courage to know that she wasn't "the one" for you and end the relationship. Personally i wish my ex husband did that to me and let me go so I can find the one who deserves... (read in full...)

What does the phrase "I did love you but I am in love with you" mean to a guy?

Q.   I have heard men say " i do love you but im not in love with you" but what does it mean opposite of that " I did love you but I am in love with you" What does that phrase mean to a guy? ...

A.   10 September 2008: He loves who you are as a person, but unfortunately who you are is not who he's IN LOVE with. Kinda confusing, but it happens all the time. People fall out of love and realize they still care for the person but just doesn't love them... (read in full...)

How am I suppose to face my crush if he hates me and knows that I love him?

Q.   how am i suppose to face my crush if he hates me and knows that i love him?hes 7 years older than me.........

A.   10 September 2008: First of all, You do not LOVE him. What you are feeling is lust and infatuation. Also sometimes we choose crushes we know we have NO chance with. Honestly, he's an adult you are a minor. This will lead to no where. You can still admire him, resp... (read in full...)

Am I being rational in giving him some space and hoping he will come around, or should I move on?

Q.   I have been dating a man for about 20 months. In March he was promoted and it has been very stressful for him, including traveling a great deal of time. He was recently gone on a six week trip to seven different cities with only a day or two rest in ...

A.   10 September 2008: I think you are just making excuses for his behavior. You should definitely Move on with your life. he obviously moved on with his. Good luck... (read in full...)

What can I do to stop hurting? He stopped trusting me...

Q.   We were together for 2 years. Wehad our issues, or maybe he did, I don't know. Maybe I did. Apparently I did. Who knows... Anyway, he was jealous. At the beginning, he told me, but it was just mild, once every blue moon, kinda cute jealousy. S...

A.   10 September 2008: First of all, you need to take a deep breath and look at your situation from a logical standpoint and not an emotional one. You have to admit that you are in a verbally abusive relationship which could be more damaging than a physical one. No one ... (read in full...)

Was this really a one-night stand?

Q.   Am so confused! 2 year ago i met a guy n we became friends. last year we were invited 2 a party n he showed more interest in me. later that night we went 2 his place, he wanted sex n i said NO. We kept in touch n 2 weeks ago i went 2 his place n we ...

A.   10 September 2008: unfortunately all he wanted was sex and not a relationship. If he is "avoiding you like hell". i take it that he got what he wanted so now he's moved on. That is what happens when us girls give up sex before we make them work for it. They only thin... (read in full...)

I'm being ignored by someone I'm trying to love...

Q.   To Anyone Who Can Offer Prospective: I recently moved to a new state about 700 miles away to attend graduate school. I've felt pretty lonely here, where I had come from before I was a social butterfly who had friends anywhere I'd go, which has ma...

A.   9 September 2008: i agree with Iris49. Letting go is one of the hardest things to do. However you boyfriend is giving you hints that he's not into you anymore. No matter how much you try to hold on..it takes two people to make a relationship work. I know it's ha... (read in full...)

How can I tell my wife that we need to separate?

Q.   hmm well i hope you can help ! iv been with my partner of 10 yrs now im 27 and she is 44 ,we have a son who is three and we love him to bits . unfortunately our relationship is very stale and even tho we laugh together and go out together as a ...

A.   9 September 2008: there is no easy way around this. You can't help how you feel, and life is too short to live in a unhappy marraige. YOu do need to sit her down and tell her exactly what you want and how you feel. Just make sure to say it in a nice way without ... (read in full...)

Should my girlfriend accept all my flaws or should I change for her to prove my love?

Q.   Hey there aunts and uncles of Dear Cupid. I have a sort of problem from an argument i had yesterday with my girlfriend. She said that if i really loved her i should/would want to change some aspects of my behaviour to make her happy, but i argued ...

A.   9 September 2008: You shouldn't have to change yourself. I think this has to do with modifying some of your behaviors to make a relationship work. Relationship is give and take, and if you are always taking and not giving then it is unbalance. Three times a week... (read in full...)

Does he really like me or is it just too much too soon and too good to be true?

Q.   I went to Spain recently on holiday and have met a man that I could really fall in love with. After having a string of negative possessive relatiosnhips and also having a very unaffectionate family background it was a breath of fresh air for me as I ...

A.   9 September 2008: I think what you are feeling now is complete lust over this guy. We all want to find the "one" but i don't think this is the guy for you. First off, you don't even speak the same language. How are you to communicate and carry on a conversa... (read in full...)

He suddenly cut me off from his life! I thought we had something special and I'm deeply hurt!

Q.   How do you deal when a friend w/benefits breaks-up with u via email and gives no reason. I'm in a world of hurt? Is it normal for me to feel depressed, suicidal, and devastated being dumped over email with no explanation? I dont date a lot. I...

A.   9 September 2008: I dissagree with confronting him. He didn't tell you upfront because he's a coward. He took the easy way out with less confrontation. As hard as it is, you have to let it go and let him go. You're friends are right..why do you want to know this... (read in full...)

I'm not calling this guy again but why did he give me his number? He never responded!

Q.   Ok, now what happens when the case is this: I had a terrible fall out with my boyfriend and I went out to think things over and in fact I was thinking I should leave him, because he did something I felt was really wrong.Our relationship was not ...

A.   4 September 2008: move on with your life and don't think about him. You have to read the book "He's not into you" Don't take it personally. Guys will give out there numbers to anyone, if he really really like you he would call within 3 days. He's giving you hints, s... (read in full...)

Age differences - should people's reactions matter?

Q.   I am a 34 year old male who has just begun dating a 19 year old female. I love being with her and adore her greatly, she is mature for her years , fun, serious when neccessary and has all the qualities of my ideal woman! However, I am concerned ...

A.   1 September 2008: Age should not matter but ultimately you are going to take away some of the best years of her life. This is the time where she finds who she is and grow into a woman. She really doesn't know what she wants. It's all about maturity, wanting ... (read in full...)

My wife of 5 years left me, for my best friend. I want her back! What should I do?

Q.   I am looking for what to do? My wife of 5 years left me, for my best friend. She also left me with our two kids. She says that i don't make her happy anymore. I love her so much that i don't know how to take it. I had to quit my job to take care of ...

A.   1 September 2008: YOu need to be strong and get a grip. You are a man, and men do not want women who leave them. Let her go. If you take her back she will only treat you like dirt and disrespect you. Do you really want that? for yourself and for your kids? I know... (read in full...)

He cheated to be with me...will he do it to me?

Q.   I really like this guy and he has cheated on his girlfriend (my best friend) to be with me and I am scared that when I do get with him he will cheat on me. Is this true?...

A.   1 September 2008: no guy is worth over losing a best friend for. I can't believe you did this to her. Shouldn't you concentrate on apologizing for hurting your best friend and getting her back..instead of this loser who has been with both girls? Guys come and go, ... (read in full...)

Am I at the right age to father a child? What do you all think?

Q.   Hi, What is a right or optimum age to have a baby? I'm 22 and I feel like I'm at a prime age to father a child of my own. My girlfriend (same age) says we are too young and that we should wait. We both work full time so we have regular income a...

A.   1 September 2008: if your gf is reluctant then you should wait. Only when both of you are 110%sure. This is a major life decision and not to be taken lightly. What if you break up..then you have to fight custody ectect. I think it's best for now to concentr... (read in full...)

Are rebounds O.K?

Q.   I'm a 31 year old female and I've been in 2 relationships back to back (kind of overlapping actually)combined total of 12 years. My current or ex, depending on how you look it, and I are pretty much through with ALOT of heartache. Is it so wrong to ...

A.   1 September 2008: If you know it's a one night stand. make sure you don't get your emotions involved. Don't spend hours on the phone getting to know each other. You could end up falling for the guy and then you have to find another guy to get over this guy. Keep ... (read in full...)

Are rebounds O.K?

Q.   I'm a 31 year old female and I've been in 2 relationships back to back (kind of overlapping actually)combined total of 12 years. My current or ex, depending on how you look it, and I are pretty much through with ALOT of heartache. Is it so wrong to ...

A.   1 September 2008: i think you need to use this time to heal. Take a break from men and relationships to focus on yourself. it's okay to be alone and figure things out. A rebound sounds good because that love high gets you over your ex, but the problem is what ... (read in full...)

Is he interested or just playing a game?

Q.   I started talking to a guy on msn through some friends we have in common. We got on well and have been out to the cinema and to lunch together. Since then(about 2 weeks ago) we have spoke on msn or text mostly everyday. He texts me to ask how my day ...

A.   1 September 2008: He likes you but not sooo into you where he would call or ask you again. However, he's keeping you around just in case no one is around to fill his ego. So basically he doesn't see a potential for a relationship. I say move on, and when you do,... (read in full...)

Should I chase her or just get over her? I need an outside perspective!

Q.   my ex broke up with me about 4 months ago and i still cant get over her. heres a little history about us. we where together for 4 years. she cheated on me 3 times and broke up with me a few times cause her parents made her. i left her once to be ...

A.   31 August 2008: I know it's hard but you have to let her go. Although you love her and feel comfortable with her, if she cheated on you 3x..that means she does not respect you and love you. And why do you want to waste precious time who won't appreciate you? Try ... (read in full...)

Right now I need to focus on me, and not the recent break up, and recover from being emotional needy and clingy. Any help?

Q.   How do i let go of hope, hope the phone will ring, hope ill get a text message etc.. hope hope hope.. its because the last thing he said was "Im sure well see each other again one day" and " I just dont want anyone right now but we can talk" I would ...

A.   31 August 2008: I am going throught the same thing as you. I believe the thing we need to do is discover ourselves again. Find out what makes us happy besides having a man in our lives. Start taking classes, volunteer, go to the gym. The key is to keep busy and ... (read in full...)

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