A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my gF of 6 years recently move out. said that she did not love me anymore and wanted to be on her own. a little back ground when we met she was my tenant and it grew it to a relatinship she came from an abusive relatinship and had 3 kids. she live in one of my properties for 4 years did not pay any rent and recently bought a house for her and her kids to live in. i live in another state but visited every weekend and was look to move there next year. well i tried several times to sit her down and make her see that her finance were important for her and her kids but she would never listen. i stayed because i loved her and want to see her do good. after we move to new house she said that she would help me with mortgage payment of $1500 that was back in may she paid nothing and would always have an excuse. i told her to pay the light bill she paid it the first month and it has not been paid since july. i recently paid it myself after she moved out. she was also collecting tenants rent and instead of depositing into my account would keep it. i was a point that i wanted it to end and i told her she need to be resoponsilbe not only for her but for use as a couple it was like i was talking to myself. her biggest complaint was that i was talking down to her but how many times do i have to ask you to help me. instead of helping me i felt she was stabbing me in the back. in june she kept 1400 of tenant rent july i had to pay $1000 to someone she borrowed money from. she said that she wanted to leave in sept but did not move until NOV one thing i can't figure out is i spoke to her during this time even trying to make her stay (how crazy) she would shut down and not say anything at one point she balled up in the fetal position and did not say anything. also recently she we were talking and she said that he job had to send her to the doctor and they gave her Depression pills.i feel bad becasue i tired to help her and feel like i was used and there was no appreciation for what i did ? i think all her issue are still going to follower her i even told her this but she still did not listen?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to everyone for your response. she would of been smart to save some money but she didnt and even wanted me to pay for her to move. It is really sad that you try to help people and they take your kindness for weakness. to shown how crazy it was when i stopped giving her money the 2nd week afer she ran out of gas. i tired to help her to get her credit /life in order but she just would not listed i stayed because i always thought that she would wake up and see the reality of life. once again thanks everyone
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks to everyone for your response. she would of been smart to save some money but she didnt and even wanted me to pay for her to move. It is really sad that you try to help people and they take your kindness for weakness. to shown how crazy it was when i stopped giving her money the 2nd week afer she ran out of gas. i tired to help her to get her credit /life in order but she just would not listed i stayed because i always thought that she would wake up and see the reality of life.
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A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (28 November 2010):
 You are really stating something you already know. If you feel you have been used….you have been used. Your biggest problem now may be not continuing to listen to her and feel bad about her situation, only to step in and try to help her again. Have you considered she may have used the same story with other people and received money and sympathy from them?
Unfortunately there are people who begin a history of taking advantage of others who care for them. They put a lot of effort into creating a false sense of shared feelings and a relationship, yet avoid physical contact or wanting to be together at all. One crisis turns into another crisis, and things seem to be an increasingly sad situation.
You didn’t state what your specific question was, nor if you are still involved with her. Fair warning…you may find soon that your credit has been ruined, identity theft, legal repercussions, all that will be linked to you, not her. This could impact you many years to come. You may also check with your police department to see if criminal charges are appropriate. You may also find that she becomes nasty and defiant when you refuse to support her anymore….be careful.
No one ever wants to feel like a fool, however, sometimes we let our emotions control our brain and make us unable to think rationally. If a friend of yours told you the same story, what would you advise them? I’m sure you would tell them to run, and run fast. Chalk it up to a lesson painfully learned. However, if you continue to bail this woman out of her problems, you will find that there is little sympathy for your plight. You have already recognized that you were taken advantage of, do not give this woman the satisfaction of thinking she can manipulate you any further. Some people make a career out of manipulating someone who actually does love and care for them, yet they never feel the same. You may be surprised if you knew about her background and how many times this game has been played.
Try not to dwell on what has already occurred, but become proactive and remove yourself from her and the situation. If she is still currently living in your home or one of your properties, go forth with the eviction process. Realize that you will most likely not recover any money from her, but you will have stopped being drained. I definitely agree with the other answers posted. It sometimes hurts to hear the truth, but it’s necessary.
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (28 November 2010):
 Yup. You were played like a fiddle. The situation was perfect for her.She had a man who let her live rent free, and only had to see or sleep with him on weekends.
How you did not figure this out for 6 years is beyond my comprehension. Or maybe you did know in your heart she did not love you, but in some ways you were still trying to win her heart with money, and what you got in return was a warm body to lie next to.
For you to beg her to stay tells me that you knew, but you just didn't care. You were willing to "pay" her to stay.
You wanted to help this woman but you cannot help someone who does not want to help themselves.
This is very dysfunctional relationship and its best if you have no contact with her or you both will continue down this spiral. You were both using each other.
You let her get away with all this by not being firm. You do not ask a tenant to pay rent. You demand it or kick them to the curb. And she knew you didnt want to get rid of her so she took advantantage of it. So you cannot blame anyone but yourself for letting this happen.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2010): Of course you feel used, she played you like a complete sucker for 6 years. Now she's found a way of surviving without you although something tells me you're still paying her way.
Look this is not her fault, you're the one who let her get away with this, if someone kept shoving money at you and did nothing when you took their money then why would you stop? How can you expect her not to use you when it was just so easy for her? She literally didn't have to do anything but sleep with you and she got quite wealthy from it. You even paid her debts, you knew she was crap with money and unreliable but you still let her collect your rent and skim money from the top and not even give it to you.
I bet she even kept some and told you your tenants didn't pay her.
You really are in trouble here, she has you wrapped around her finger, even now you're putting this down to some kind of depression, even now you're looking for ways to excuse her. You're even hoping she'll get "better" and it seems like you think you should be rewarded for letting her play you like a fool. That after trying to buy her love that she owes you.
She owes you nothing, you gave her all that money, and even when you demanded she pay for things she didn't bother. I bet she had a great sob story excuse every time and instead of making her pay you probably gave her more money.
She played you from the start, she gave you a sob story from the start and then just continued to bleed you dry.
Move on, stay away from her, she used you and she's probably still using you. Take away the money and hand outs from her and she'll come crawling back looking for more. Stop this, stop trying to buy the love of a woman who doesn't care about you at all and see what happens when she comes crawling back telling you she;s made a mistake you'll know what the real story is.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (28 November 2010):
 She behaved in a reprehensible dishonest way.
She has abused your trust completely. You can never trust her ever again. She stole your money. You gave her far too much rope to abuse you financially, because you trusted her too much.
It is a good thing that she has gone.
She has probably found a new victim to milk for money.
And she is a poor money manager.
If you stayed with her she would have continued to milk you for more money.
If she ever comes to you for more money say no, whatever she comes up with as her so called excuse. She's stolen too much from you already.
You are not responsible for her debts.
Speak to each of your tenants and make it clear in writing to each tenant that she no longer has an authority to collect the rent, just in case she tries.
Change all your passwords, especially bank passwords, just in case she tries any con trick.
Make sure the Bank has been informed, in writing, (signed by you and dated) and get a Bank acknowledged dated receipt that they received that document, - Where your document states that she has no authority to act for you, in any capacity.
She is a con artist.
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