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She told me she was pregnant and I felt my heart shatter into pieces!

Tagged as: Forbidden love, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 July 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 5 July 2011)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have badly fallen for my professor, (spare me the lecture, i've heard it all). I've liked my professor for 2 years, and felt a deep connection with her the first time I met her, she began teaching me and although I didn't think it was possible those feelings just grew stronger.

I didn't mention my feelings to her because it wasnt the right thing to do, I thought i'd wait until I graduate, so I kept my feelings to myself for another year, my feelings became stronger she was always in my head, the first and last thing on my mind she was all I could and can think about. So finally after graduating I plucked up the courage and decided I would tell her how I felt, but then she told me...she's pregnant.

I felt my heart shatter into pieces, I just don't know what to do? how do I move on? how do I forget? would it be a good idea to try and keep in contact? because i'd rather have her as a friend then nothing at all.

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A female reader, sappygirl United States +, writes (5 July 2011):

sappygirl agony auntSometimes, things aren't meant to be, and in this case, you have to just accept that she's not the one for you.

What you had with her is a massive crush. It feels like love and hurts like love, but it's not love because love is between two people who feels the same way about each other. Sometimes we pick people who we know are unattainable. It's easier that way.

The truth is, there is someone else out there perfect for you who has the same qualities that she has. You are graduating soon, and moving on with your life. You will meet new people and one day you will find your future wife. Time will heal all and one day, believe it or not, you are not even going to remember what your professor looks like. Until then, focus on finding a good job and creating a career for yourself so that your right woman will come along.

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia +, writes (5 July 2011):

Aunty Susie agony auntI think you need to let go and move on. I don't think being friends with this woman will help you at all. You need to get stuck into dating, going out with your friends, trying to have a good time. Distractions and keep busy, and in time, you will move on with your life and get over her.

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A female reader, Starlight673 Italy +, writes (4 July 2011):

Starlight673 agony auntAre you sure it's not infatuation? Because I had the same problem with my professor. I was obsessed for 3 years, he turned me down(in a really bad way...so consider yourself the luky one. he wasn't pregnant, but he told me that thinks I'm stupid, unattractive etc. and that he wouldn't even consider it if I was the last female on the planet!so...you get the idea). I tought about it a lot and now I'm certain about one thing. I didn't love him. I just considered him as role male figure...so think about it. There's no need to feel bad about it. Consider it's like a great experince that helped you in difficult times, gave you reasurens etc. Talk to your professor and ask her to become friends instead I think that she's a better person that I tught mine was. and trust me in a couple of years you'll smile at this situation and probably laught too :)

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