How do I help my gf enjoy sex as much as I do?
Q. I'm 16 and I've been with my girlfriend for about 6 months. We're both new at sex and she just told me of all the times weve done "it" shes only REALLY enjoyed it once and I wish she enjoyed it as much as I do. Am I doing something wrong? How can ...
A. 21 February 2005: Which was the time when she really enjoyed it? What did you do for her that satisfied her that time? You are both new to sex so it may take a while, perhaps not so much for you from what you say, but for her to discover what she really enjoys. ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation harmful?
Q. I am 22 yrs male.....I have been doing masturbating since 17 yrs old. Usually i do it 4/5 times a in a month. I think its bad for me. But i cant stop doing this.. When i see pornography I started to do it.Is it harmful for me to do it 4/5 times in ...
A. 20 February 2005: It isn't harmful at all for you to do it fifty times a month! Please don't worry;there is nothing wrong with masturbating. It provides sexual relief and pleasure so do it as much as you want. It certainly isn't harmful to you physically and only ... (read in full...)
In a 7-year relationship with my first love... But maybe there is something better?
Q. Hi I'm in a 7 year relationship with my first love from school. I'm 22 and he's 23 we have a 3 bedroom house and a 3 year old son. Sometimes i feel frustrated because I want to marry and he's not sure, I don't want to pressure him but i feel ...
A. 19 February 2005: There could be something better out there but the grass isn't always greener. You are both young and have been together from a very young age so I guess neither of you have really been with anyone else. You are bound to be curious as to what you... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont kiss or touch me...
Q. I have tried everything to get my boyfriend to be loving towards me but he just won't. How do i gat him to kiss & touch me?...
A. 19 February 2005: First and foremost, you need to establish why it is that your boy-friend won't come close to you and the only way you can find this out is by asking him. He is meant to be your boy-friend, so why won't he touch you? Are you both very young? Is it ... (read in full...)
Her baby might not be mine. What do I do?
Q. Myself and my wife have split up. she is pregnant but had a one night stand and doesn't know if the father is me or this other guy. should i be present at the birth just in case the baby is mine?...
A. 19 February 2005: I am assuming the other guy doesn't want to know and isn't likely to be present at the birth? If you thought the baby was indeed yours, would you be present then? If the answer to this question is yes, then perhaps the best idea is to be present ... (read in full...)
Women my own age seem to lack the intimacy I'm seeking...
Q. Retired, financially secure at 67. I like divorced women in their forties and am having difficulty finding ones that go for men my age. No problem at all finding women my own age but they are not inclined to participate in anything but dining, ...
A. 19 February 2005: Now, what exactly is wrong with dining, dancing and beach walks? I enjoy all of the above and I haven't reached my forties!! Are you saying you want to have an intimate relationship with a woman in her forties? If she was only 40, there would be... (read in full...)
Told her how I feel... but she's not interested.
Q. Hi I've met this girl. I've known her for 14 months, but only recently have I told her how I feel about her. For the first time in my life I have actually feel for someone, and when she told me that 'she is really sorry, but she doesn't feel the...
A. 18 February 2005: I think you don't have much choice but to move on. It does seem as if this girl may really like you but not in the way that you want so you need to accept this and start to think about finding someone else. It isn't rejection, it is just that she... (read in full...)
Help! My friend thinks he has no chance with women
Q. Hi, my housemate, Gaz is suffering. He's having problems getting a girlfriend. As a result he seems to have fallen into a downward spiral of despair, plunging lower and lower into the depths of misogyny. He now claims to hate all women, stating ...
A. 18 February 2005: Dear Des Does Gaz have his housemates as examples of relationships working with women? I should think you may have reassured him that through your own experiences that not all women are bitches? Unfortunately, there is some truth that many women ... (read in full...)
We argue too much. Is he insensitive or am I neurotic?
Q. I have recently started living with my boyfriend, and it seems to be ok on the whole, however, I am not happy in the relationship. I keep trying to make it work and trying to be positive, but I can't help realizing that we are arguing more and more ...
A. 18 February 2005: I think you need to ask your boy-friend why he wants you with him and whether he can see a future in your relationship. Perhaps you need to explain to him that you feel as if you are playing second fiddle to the other interests and pursuits in his ... (read in full...)
Six years together and we have a child, but I don't feel a spark any more
Q. Hi, I am having problems in my relationship. I have been with my partner for 6 years and just don't seem to have any feelings left for him. But the main problem is we have a baby. I need help and advice on what to do. ...
A. 17 February 2005: You need to make certain that you don't have any feelings at all left for your partner. Not just because you have a baby but because you have had a long term relationship and somewhere along the line, you must have cared a great deal for each ... (read in full...)
He stopped talking to me, but I still want his friendship (and more!)
Q. hi I am 15 and I've been like obsessing over this boy who I feel sooo connected with. We totally love the same things and get on well and he's told me before that he thinks I'm fit and I think he is fit. BUT he doesn't want to go out with me. I ...
A. 17 February 2005: It may simply be the case that he isn't grown up enough to handle going out with you and now he is running a bit scared. You need to ask him what is on his mind and whether he would still like to be friends with no strings attached. It could well ... (read in full...)
We have a chemistry together, but he says he doesn't want a relationship right now
Q. My boyfriend has left me after nearly 3 years. I love him more than anything in the world, and after talking to him he's madly in love with me too... he just can't be with me! I don't really understand this. He says he just can't cope with a r...
A. 16 February 2005: Ask him! Explain to him that you don't understand why he needs time when you are both so good together. Are there some other unresolved issues that he hasn't explained to you because it certainly seems this way. There must be a reason why he can't... (read in full...)
We have a chemistry together, but he says he doesn't want a relationship right now
Q. My boyfriend has left me after nearly 3 years. I love him more than anything in the world, and after talking to him he's madly in love with me too... he just can't be with me! I don't really understand this. He says he just can't cope with a r...
A. 16 February 2005: Ask him! Explain to him that you don't understand why he needs time when you are both so good together. Are there some other unresolved issues that he hasn't explained to you because it certainly seems this way. There must be a reason why he can't... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go..?
Q. At what point in a relationship do you go begin to follow your head and not your heart? How do you know when it is the right time to give up on a relationship?...
A. 16 February 2005: I think you would need to consider giving up on a relationship when you really can't see a future together. You need to think about how you really feel for the other person and whether it is genuinely reciprocated. Is the relationship evenly ... (read in full...)
Sure, she's cute... so why am I repelled?
Q. I have a problem with my girlfriend. She simply is not attractive to me. Sure, she is cute and all, attractive to other men but I simply don't enjoy touching her. Sex can be good but infrequent and usually she starts things off and I want it to ...
A. 15 February 2005: I think you are viewing your girl-friend like a sister and the chemistry just simply isn't there for you. Have you found other women attractive in the past? Have you had this type of problem before? If you have, then there could be a pattern ... (read in full...)
Love my partner but want the new girl, too...
Q. Hi ya, I just need some advice. I've been with my partner for 2 years. I love her to bits. I've recently met this girl and I really fancy her but I love my partner. What do I do?...
A. 13 February 2005: It is fine to find someone attractive while in a relationship but to actually want them physically spells problems. To begin with, if you are really happy and in love with your girl-friend, you would simply dismiss any lustful thoughts about so... (read in full...)
We're so perfect together. Why won't he take it further?
Q. Is this Love or Obsession? I met this guy nearly 4 years ago at work, i didnt like him at first but after working together a few weeks we discovered we both had some sort of bond and an unbelievable chemistry. We connect like ive never connected ...
A. 11 February 2005: I think he seems confused and doesn't really know what he wants. Have you asked him why he won't take it any further? I guess you must have. He appears to not think much of himself either and yet, him just receiving your love should be enough ... (read in full...)
We're both married to others, but his attention is so appealing...
Q. I met a man 7 months ago as a friend living in the same road as us and we seemed to get chatting more and more and I suddenly realised one day that I fancied him. We have all gone out as a 4 some and the last time we went out he had said on the ...
A. 11 February 2005: This guy seems somewhat unscrupulous to me. You need to ask yourself a series of questions and, in a way, come back to reality I'm afraid. What exactly does he want from you? Just sex? (trying to get you purposely drunk seems to indicate that) Do... (read in full...)
Will I lose him to my "friend"?
Q. My best-friend has been flirtiing with my boyfriend. Do you think my boyfriend will fall for her even if he loves me ?...
A. 11 February 2005: Is she really your best friend? She isn't exactly loyal, is she? To put it simply, your boyfriend isn't likely to fall for her charms if he truly loves you but obviously, there would always remain a bit of a doubt. What does he say about this? Is h... (read in full...)
She doesn't seem in a rush for a relationship... do I ask her out anyway?
Q. Hey there, Until the beginning of this year, I've had a serious case of Social Anxiety Disorder. I've just gotten used to making friends, and now I'm attracted to someone! I wouldn't have any problem asking her out, if it weren't for the fact tha...
A. 11 February 2005: It seems to me that you aren't exactly satisfied with just being friends with this girl so I think you do need to find a way to test the waters... She appears rather shy and untrusting of men but this doesn't mean this has to be difficult necessar... (read in full...)
I stick around even when I'm lukewarm. Why?
Q. I am seeing this lovely guy for the past 3 months. I do care about him a lot, but that's all. I went out with a guy for a year because I didnt want to hurt him by saying I didn't want to see him any more. Why do I stay with someone that I really d...
A. 9 February 2005: Perhaps because you are frightened of being on your own? I guess you feel as if you are missing out on the sizzling passionate side of a relationship and the feeling that you just can't live without them? You need to try and find this for your own ... (read in full...)
She's unpredictable but she still makes me smile. I want it to work, so what do I do?
Q. Dear Cupid I am currently going out with a woman of 34years old coming up on almost a year now. we broke up at the end of October last year and I contacted her again in December. The reason I broke up was that I didnt believe that she loved m...
A. 9 February 2005: White summer shoes and a red shirt? Eating too much ice cream? Not holding hands? I wander what is important to this lady and if she would be prepared to meet you half way in a proper committed relationship. Have you asked her if she loved you? Have ... (read in full...)
I'm between two people I want. How do I choose?
Q. I am in love with a teenage college teacher & one of my really good friends but the problem is that my friend expects that I should be with them but I can't help that the fact. I am totally in love with this really good looking & amazingly kind ...
A. 9 February 2005: Keep them both as friends would be my answer. To begin with, if you really cared for your good friend and fancied them rotten then you wouldn't really be lusting after someone else!If you actually got with them, you would probably continue to lust ... (read in full...)
Should I marry the unmotivated bf and/or tackle the messy finances?
Q. I consider myself a strong, independant, focused young woman. I have an excellent job...graduated from college...I own my home, I brought 2 cars (no car note)...I have great credit, no children and I'm only 24! I have a boyfriend who is also a c...
A. 9 February 2005: Perhaps first you need to ask yourself whether you want to help him out of his money crisis? Let us say that he is willing to alter his spending habits and become more responsible but that he will need your support to do so. You need to ask yourself ... (read in full...)
Would my ex drop hints if she wasn't interested in getting back with me?
Q. My ex is with someone else, and she keeps hinting about doing things together with me maybe one day. She seems like she wants to keep in contact any way she can. Is there a chance of getting back together? And is she on the rebound with the other ...
A. 9 February 2005: I think she could be keeping her options open and trying not to burn any bridges along the way. Perhaps she is trying to figure out whether it will work with this guy but because she has a few doubts, is keeping you in the wings. Obviously she ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps in contact with his ex and I hate it!
Q. Does my boyfriend love me? I have been with my boyfriend for a year... I am 17 and he is 31. He was in a relationship for 4 years and owned a house with his ex, whom he finished with to be with me... He's always really nice to me, giving me co...
A. 8 February 2005: I think you need to know where you stand with this guy and you need to repeat to him your concerns. If he cares about you, he will attempt to make you feel more secure. You can inform him that you are not being immature, just worried. You sound ma... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is not nice to my lower-class friends
Q. dear aunt, i am a 22 year old bloke in a one year long relationship. the problem is that my girlfriend is from an upper class family background and she tends not to really associate with people of lower societal status. the problem is i don...
A. 6 February 2005: Does your girl-friend associate with people of the same class as her? You need to establish whether perhaps she has problems socialising in itself or just with your friends. What about you? Are you of the same 'class' as her? If not, what attracted ... (read in full...)
30 partners, 2 years without an orgasm. What can I try?
Q. I have had over 30 sexual partners and have been in a relationship for over 2 years but I cannot orgasm at all. I have used vibrators in bed, role play, dressing up, and every sexual position you could possibly imagine and I have had nothing. ...
A. 6 February 2005: You have already said the answer to your problem and that is that you do need to relax. It would be better if you could somehow forget about having an orgasm at all because all you are achieving is putting too much pressure on yourself to have one. ... (read in full...)
My new girl treats me great! So why can't I get ex out of my head?
Q. Dear Cupid, I split with my fiance of 7 years, about 4 months ago. We were constantly falling out, getting back together, falling out etc etc. It was a strange relationship, but it worked, somehow. People always said, we cant live tog...
A. 2 February 2005: I think you are still hung up on your ex because she was a challenge. You had an exciting relationship, probably loads of passion too. However, it wasn't stable and secure and you didn't really know what was going to happen next. It is differen... (read in full...)
Is anal sex safe?
Q. Is anal sex safe? If so, how do I keep it that way?...
A. 1 February 2005: Anal sex is the highest risk activity for transmission of sexually transmitted diseases. Use a condom if you are going to have anal sex and one which is extra strong to cope with the strains of anal sex. Be careful about touching the vagina after ... (read in full...)
Not sure what to do when ex-long-term boyfriend comes to visit
Q. A few months ago, i broke up with my long term boyfriend, i may be only 15 but i really need to get some advice on this, i really loved him, never felt towards anybody else like this before, and although we are still good mates, i feel like there is ...
A. 1 February 2005: Hi You could go about this in two ways. You could ask him how he feels for you as he continues to visit you. Is this purely as mates? Or you could explain to him that you still care about him and would love to give it another go. Either way, you... (read in full...)
I like sex... But never want to do it!
Q. My sex drive is gone and I would like to get it back, for me and my husband. I like sex but never want to do it and at one time I like to do it all the time but since I've been with my husband it's been gone. I did go talk to a consulor and to be ...
A. 1 February 2005: I think you firstly need to consider why your sex drive has diminished. Is is due to stresses at work? Perhaps not enough sleep? Is your relationship with your husband strained at all? It would be an idea to resolve any of these issues first to ... (read in full...)
A very messy end with my boyfriend: Feel like I can't trust anyone!
Q. Please help. I have recently split up from my boyfriend after splitting up with him he started ringing all my friends and colleges in work telling lies. I now have just found out that one so called friend spent nearly 2 hours on the phone to him ...
A. 31 January 2005: I think this is very much a case of sour grapes whereby your ex is trying to get in first and 'dish the dirt' on you, so to speak. He is obviously not happy with the break up and wishes to hurt you in the only way he can see how. This is why he is ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend never makes me feel loved or special, just watches porn. Should I stay?
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. i love him to pieces i really do, but he has never made me feel loved or special. just recently he has been making his own decisions and going out to do whatever he wants which is fine, i just get ...
A. 28 January 2005: The most important thing for you to do immediately is to try to restore your confidence as your boyfriend is certainly not offering you the reassurance and boost that you deserve. He wants to do what he wants to do which doesn't always include you. ... (read in full...)
My lesbian lover breaks my heart by keeping relationship a secret
Q. I'm in a relationship with another woman and have been for almost 4 years. Neither of us have had relationships with women before, in fact, my partner was married. All through her marriage she wasn't allowed to go out or have see her friends. Since ...
A. 27 January 2005: Your girlfriend is able to at long last be what she wants to be and be the confident, happy person she always wanted to be when she was married. It is down to you that she is content and more self assured. She has fun when she goes out with her ... (read in full...)
I am obsessed about my boyfriend's ex's!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 1 and 1/2 years now, I love him very much but I can't seem to stop hurting him! I live very near to him, and all of his ex's! There is the problem. Although he doesn't talk to any of them, I'm obsessed tha...
A. 27 January 2005: You are very insecure and the downside to this, is that you could ultimately push your boyfriend away. He needs to be aware, however, how much you are hurting. Why does he like you so much? Why does he want to be with you? I think you need to ask h... (read in full...)
Should I trust my boyfriend... Who has "commitment issues"
Q. Hi, I need your advice. I am 19, been with my boyfriend (23) for two years. He has a 4 year old boy from a previous relationship. He has big committment issues. I think it is because his ex was so horrible to him and wouldn't let him see his boy at ...
A. 27 January 2005: I think your boyfriend is untrustworthy and seems to enjoy receiving attention from girls, yourself included. I don't really think he knows what he wants. Whatever has occurred in his past does not make it right for him to treat you badly. He ... (read in full...)
Should we have sex or wait until he gets the all-clear?
Q. hello i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 months and we are planning to have sex but he has found out he has genital warts does that mean if we want sex we will have to wait till he gets the all clear or can we still have sex if we use ...
A. 26 January 2005: I am afraid it is best to wait until he has the all clear. Even if you do use condoms, you are still at risk as condoms may not cover all of the infected area. How did your boy-friend catch genital warts? It is a sexually transmitted disease.... (read in full...)
What should I do about guy I've been seeing (who has a girlfriend)
Q. I met a lovely guy recently and we were both instantly attracted to each other, we had one fantastic date but a few days later he hit me with the bombshell that he was seeing someone else and had been for several months but said it wasnt a very good ...
A. 26 January 2005: I think you need to tell this guy that he has to make up his mind as towhat he really wants as the way things are, he is basically having his cake and eat it. He needs to decide who he wants to be with and it may be an idea for you to try and not ... (read in full...)
I want him desperately but he does not want me. What can I do?
Q. Dear Cupid My husband (of four years) and I have been separated for just over a year. It was his decision to leave, and he has never given me any reason for ending it, other than to say he was sick of the arguments. He has always refused my reque...
A. 26 January 2005: My initial answer to this is to say forget him and continue to work on your confidence and build your life. However, I do respect your feelings and the fact that you don't want to fall out with anyone. Yet, this guy isn't giving you any feedback and ... (read in full...)
My partner and I argue and argue and argue...
Q. Hi, I am feeling really down right now because my partner and I argue all the time. I do love him and know he loves me but it is getting unbearable. It has been like this for some time now and we keep hoping it will get better. I am a disabled ...
A. 26 January 2005: Dear Shaz I think you have both got into a rut with arguing and it is getting out of control. This means that you aren't spending any quality time at all together and you are almost expecting to argue and flaring up very easily. You have got into... (read in full...)
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