Did my boyfriend leave me because our relationship was too intense?
Q. Do rebounds ever last?...My now ex bf of 2 years (Age 22) who I lived with, left me (age 19), 3 months ago for another girl who is only 17. He seemed to go out with her almost immediately, but I can't understand how emotionally he can move on so ...
A. 2 June 2005: It could have been the case that things were too intense for him and that's why he left and went with someone else. However, it also suggests that he hasn't matured emotionally. From that point of view, you are better off without him. It probably... (read in full...)
Never been popular with girls, but now I'm confused by my options!
Q. Hi. Growing up I've not been very popular, but in the last few months... I don't know, but the girls have one hell of an attraction to me? I hear it every day. I don't know what to do, but let me start off with: I started grade 8 and like I said ...
A. 2 June 2005: Perhaps you should just think about having fun. You really like Laura. Have you told her how you feel? This may be a start. Perhaps she won't be interested now but it is worth a shot. You like Jessica so why not spend some time with her as frie... (read in full...)
Can I let my boyfriend know that I'm finished with our time apart, without seeming to rush things?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were dating for 6 months, and a week ago, we decided to "take a break". The reason why is because we both thought things were "different intimately", but the feelings are still there for the both of us. We agreed that we were ...
A. 2 June 2005: I think the best thing to do in this situation is to feel your way really. You firstly need to find out how he is feeling. You can discover whether he is happy spending time alone or whether he is filling his days with work and socialis... (read in full...)
We hit it off wonderfully, but is there any chance we can survive the distance between us?
Q. Hola agony-aunts! Recently I've developed strong feelings for a friend I've known for the past 3 yrs. She now attends college in a different town except during this summer where she is back home until next fall. While on a trip to the town where ...
A. 2 June 2005: Long distant relationships can work providing there is plenty of contact through telephone conversations, emails, etc. It also depends on your depth of feeling and trust for each other as to whether it would work. Your biggest problem, however,... (read in full...)
Our mismatched sex drives are making me wonder, "Are we normal"?
Q. Making this short, I've been with my girlfriend for 3+ years and living with her for 2+ years. We are both early 20s. I have a very high sex drive and she has a pretty low one. She will get 'sore' after 15 minutes or so, or she definately will if ...
A. 31 May 2005: Mismatched sex drives is a problem that many couples encounter but it can be overcome. The problem is that she may feel under pressure to have sex and this could be further reducing her libido. In theory, quality is better than quantity and it is th... (read in full...)
My husband seems to care more about his ex-wife than he does about me...
Q. I am married to someone who was divorced 2 years before we married. It seems though he won't let go of his ex wife. Every time she asks for something he jumps to do it. I know they were married for 11 years and knew each other for 16, but I fe...
A. 31 May 2005: I don't believe you are over reacting. For starters, he went behind your back and saw his ex wife, so this destroys trust. Secondly, he jumps whenever she asks, and this further questions his loyalty to you. She reckons she could have him back and ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about the old flame. I mean, I just can't get him out of my head!
Q. I am a 25 year old lady who is 5 months pregnant, but am in love with an old flame who is involved with someone else. I can't get him out of my head and I know I have to get him out of my head for my baby's sake but I just can't stop thinking bout ...
A. 31 May 2005: Perhaps seeing him all the time isn't helping matters. It is keeping it fresh in your mind. You do need to draw a line under this though. You are pregnant and I am assuming the baby isn't his. You need to develop your relationship with the baby's f... (read in full...)
Can someone tell us some sex positions we can use, so he doesn't keep slipping out?
Q. Hi, I am in a very loving relationship that seems soon headed for marriage. My question is this... My guy is not all that well endowed and when we try it "doggie style", he keeps slipping out. Can you recommend postions that might make this adv...
A. 31 May 2005: Try sitting on him and instead of moving up and down, move forward and back. This will stop him falling out and I think you will both find it a satisfying position. Have fun!... (read in full...)
Why would my husband comment that I'm a lesbian, when I'm not?
Q. My husband and I have been married 13 years. But when we argue he makes comments that I'm a lesbian. I'm totally heterosexual. So why does he make those comments?...
A. 31 May 2005: Good question. Why don't you ask him?! Do you have a normal sex life? Perhaps he is wanting more from it that he isn't telling you. You need to find this out. Exactly what does his comment refer to; that you look like a lesbian or that you somehow... (read in full...)
My ex wants to keep in contact and it's really messing with my head!
Q. I posted a problem in April about me and my boyfriend. He had texted another girl behind my back. Well everything really went downhill from then. He is now my EX-boyfriend and i feel pretty messed up inside about it all. I decided to give him a ...
A. 30 May 2005: He could be missing you and that's why he is still contacting you or he could just be savouring the power he still has over you. He is being totally unfair. Don't respond to any of his text messages, ignore him totally if you see him. He hasn't ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I lose my boyfriend... to a computer game!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we moved in together nearly 2 months ago. We are enjoying living together but the time he spends on the computer is causing a problem. He really enjoys a particular pc game and will spend every ...
A. 30 May 2005: Suggest he buys a diary so you can book appointments to see him! Seriously, you need to talk to him about this. Rather than complaining to him about the amount of time he spends on his computer game, explain how you feel. Say that you enjoy being wi... (read in full...)
I'm so shy around him that I can hardly speak. So how do I tell him I want him for all time?
Q. I have liked this guy for 15 years. In fact I think I am falling in love with him. I don't get to spend much time with him and when we do see each other we hardly speak because I am too shy. He recently ivited me to his flat so that I could see ...
A. 30 May 2005: You can't be too shy if you spent hours talking to him at his flat! I think if you tell him that you want to marry him and have his babies, it might just scare him off! Instead, find the courage to suggest going out together, perhaps for a drink, a... (read in full...)
Don't want to leave my son's dad, but I love someone else! What do I do?
Q. I dont know what to do. I have a 14 month old with my partner but I am seeing someone else who I love. I can't leave my partner though because I need his support financially and to be a dad to his son. What shall I do?...
A. 30 May 2005: Morally, what you are doing is wrong. You are cheating on your partner, the father to your son and this isn't fair on him. Is he at all aware of what you are doing? Essentially, you are using him for money and suppport. What about the other chap? Is... (read in full...)
In every relationship I've had, they fall in love with me, and I feel... nothing.
Q. Well, I will make this as short as possible. But, the problem is, it has been going on my whole life. I have always had really good relationships and all. I think it might be me... Let me explain. Every relationship I have gotten into has been lon...
A. 26 May 2005: You need to spend some time on your own working out what exactly it is that you want from a relationship. Write it all down. Perhaps you want excitement, a challenge. Maybe they have to be more intelligent than they have been, I don't know. It see... (read in full...)
My b/f left me for someone else. Now he's back, we're having sex and I'm confused!
Q. I am a very confused person right now. About a year and half ago, by boyfriend of 5 years cheated on my with someone he works with. He said that we would work on things and it wouldn't happen again. So I forgave him, but he left me for her ...
A. 26 May 2005: I think the first thing you need to do is figure out what it is that you want from this 'relationship'. Are you happy to continue things as they are or do you want more? Once you have extablished this, then you can consider asking him what he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends don't acknowledge me at all... and there's more...
Q. I have been dating "Bob" for 2 years now. He is 27 and the man of my dreams. However, there is this one situation with friends of his that has me quite confused. He is friends with this married couple named "Shelly" and "Nick". This couple ...
A. 24 May 2005: Say to 'Bob' that you want a serious word with him and that you want him to really listen to you. Explain how hurt you feel that 'Shelley and Nick' refuse to acknowledge your existence and that you are confused as to why this may be. Explain ... (read in full...)
I still have strong feelings for my ex-bf but I'm with someone else!
Q. I'm in a relationship now, and I'm very happy with the guy. But I still have feelings for my ex. Him & I were together off & on for 3 years before I got with the guy I'm with now. I still have feelings for my ex, and I will always love him..but ...
A. 24 May 2005: This all depends really on what your relationship was like with your ex-boyfriend. You say you were on and off. Why was this? Was it a secure, stable relationship? It doesn't really sound like it was. Perhaps it was more based on excitement and ... (read in full...)
I know he cares about me, but he keeps breaking up then coming back!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 yrs and we lived together for about 2 1/2 yrs. About 8 months ago things started getting rocky and he decided to move out for a while and we would try to work things out. Since then, we have had an on again ...
A. 23 May 2005: Well, I would quote the elastic band theory that is advocated by the book 'men are from mars and women are from venus' but I think your boyfriend isn't really living up to the description of 'boyfriend' and he is stretching the elastic band so much, ... (read in full...)
My boss keeps asking me out...
Q. I just recently started seeing my boss. He keeps asking me out, but I feel like I'm using him, not for money or anything like that, but for the attention I get from him. The reason I haven't said yes about dating him is, one I'm still in love wit...
A. 23 May 2005: Keep to your original plan. Refrain from saying yes to your employer. You give reasons as to why you shouldn't go out with him. You aren't over your ex and the age difference feels too much. You haven't given any reasons why you should go out with... (read in full...)
Lately, it seems more like I love my boyfriend as a best friend. He's just not romantic.!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a long time and lately, I have been having some doubts about our relationship. I feel as if I am going to be stuck in one spot with him forever. He never does anything romantic, he hardly tells me he loves me ...
A. 22 May 2005: I think that because you have been with your boyfriend for a long time, things have slipped into a rut. The way that you are feeling is perfectly normal. As he isn't romantic, the excitement and shine has faded from your relationship and you feel ... (read in full...)
Eight weeks until the wedding... and I feel trapped.
Q. I am 29 yrs old. I have been with my girlfriend for seven years - she is also 29. She is a wonderful person - kind considerate, loving, thoughtful, etc We are due to be married in eight weeks. I am struggling with being married because I lov...
A. 22 May 2005: Its simple really; don't get married! If you are having doubts then it would be foolish to get married and eventually break this girl's heart. It doesn't seem as if you are ready to committ. You still want to lead the single man's lifestyl... (read in full...)
Somehow, I just don't think I'm any good at sex!
Q. I feel that I am rubbish at sex. I have had several sexual partners but always feel that I am doing it wrong and am not giving them enough pleasure. I enjoy doing foreplay with them but when it comes to sex, I feel that I am not moving in the way ...
A. 20 May 2005: You don't say whether you are male or female but the advice will be the same. If you feel you aren't doing it right, ask them if you are! Ask your partner what pleases them as you would very much like to give them pleasure. When you are moving, ask ... (read in full...)
Should I stay with my boyfriend, even though I know he's cheating?
Q. I'm in my last month of pregnancy and my boyfriend recently started to cheat on me. At first he was always here for me and now it's like he wants nothing to do with me. I feel that it is me, but is it really me or is it him? Should I stay with him?...
A. 20 May 2005: There are always two sides to every story but cheating is against all the relationship rules. He is very much disrespecting you by doing it, particularly as you are pregnant and about to give birth. Have you spoken to him about what he is doing? H... (read in full...)
What's wrong with me? Why am I be punished for what other women did to my boyfriend?
Q. I am living with my bf for nine months, known him for 3yrs. I'm wearing a promise ring he gave me, but for months now he tells me he loves me but that he can't love me to the fullest the way I want. He has had other gfs in the past and went to the ...
A. 19 May 2005: It seems to me that it is his past that is interfering with your relationship and it is this that he needs help with. It isn't you. You are putting in all the effort to make it work but it seems almost as if he has given up trying. He got used in ... (read in full...)
A difficult choice: two men want to marry me!
Q. Wealthy man or sexy man? I have two chasing me, and almost cannot believe how this blew up all of a sudden. One is stable and caring, another is like lightning bolts in terms of our chemistry, and just kissing him gives me chills. It woul...
A. 19 May 2005: Other women only struggle with this choice if they are very lucky! But seriously, when you have doubts like this and are indecisive, it is always best to do nothing. Don't marry either of them! You can see advantages and disadvantages with being ... (read in full...)
Five years together, a house and a puppy... but no engagement yet!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years this coming weekend. We have a house together and are in process of purchasing a puppy. BUT, he hasn't popped the question yet. He says it will come in due time, but I'm getting sick of waiting. I kind of ...
A. 19 May 2005: Do you think he is the right one for you? Is it absolutely essential that you marry? Say for example you don't get married, would you consider leaving him to find someone else to marry? These are all the questions you should ask yourself. Okay, ... (read in full...)
Although I'm engaged, I want to ask someone from work to hang out. What do I do about my fiance?
Q. I am engaged to be married - I started this new job and I am VERY attracted to someone here that is single and we flirt back and forth often. I want to ask this person to hang out but I don't know what to do about my fiance. Please help! ...
A. 18 May 2005: Grow up first and foremost, stop being so selfish and think of your fiance. How would you feel if they were doing this to you? I think you need to face up to the situation that you are in and consider breaking it off with your fiance in as tactful ... (read in full...)
I know that my adult son is demanding and troublesome... so how do I stop caving in to him?
Q. I am in love with a wonderful man. Someone who for the first time in my life truly appreciates me, who is gentle with me (unlike my previous partner), who buys me attractive gifts, takes me places and makes me feel secure, feminine and truly wanted. ...
A. 16 May 2005: It seems to me that you are very much aware of what the problem is so that is certainly a very good start. Don't be too hard on yourself, though. You are behaving as any good mother would. You are trying to provide for your son even though you know... (read in full...)
Three to six minutes is about my average in bed... and it makes my wife angry...
Q. Hi everybody I think my question is not uncommon. I ejaculate within 3-6 mts. I try to think about my work, my boss and any other non-sex stuff but it doesn't work out. My wife gets angry with me whenever this happen. I think some people out here...
A. 16 May 2005: Your wife getting angry with you probably isn't helping matters! I would suggest that you initially concentrate on your wife. Plenty of foreplay whereby you touch, stroke and caress her. Use a vibrator on her if she likes. It may be an idea for her ... (read in full...)
He tells me that the porn mags and movies are no big deal, but they are to me!
Q. I have been with this guy for 5 yrs. He is not a very open person, it is just the way his family is. Anyway, I'm 37 and he is 27. He recently proposed. I accepted. I have never been married nor has he. I do have 2 teenagers but they are not the prob...
A. 16 May 2005: I think the main issue here is not being addressed. The fact that your boyfriend is looking at porn and it seems to do this mostly behind your back, appears to be a symptom that there is something amiss within your relationship. I'm not suggesti... (read in full...)
Thinking about having sex with my boyfriend, but I don't know how he really feels about me.
Q. Hi, I've known my bf for like 5 months now, but we have only just started going out. I don't know if he actually likes me. We live far apart and he is always busy at the weekends. My mate lives like down the road from him and I usually go to her ...
A. 14 May 2005: If you aren't sure, don't do it! Find out first if he does really like you before you get intimate. Consider how you would feel if he only wanted you for sex. Would that be okay? If not, don't let anything sexual develop until you really are ready... (read in full...)
My ex and I ran into each other after 2 years, and it's reignited an old flame.
Q. Split with my ex-girlfriend 2 years ago, bumped into her in a club last week. When we were together I was with someone else, I admitted this, we gave it another go but it did not work out, mainly down to trust issues. She never really forgave me for ...
A. 14 May 2005: Does it matter if she does want you back? It shouldn't. You said you are in a relationship and happy. Are you really? It strikes me that for you to have these thoughts about your ex suggests that you can't be entirely happy in your current ... (read in full...)
Does sex have to be performed naked? Will I look odd if I want to leave some clothes on?
Q. Hello, My question is about sex. As I am a virgin female aged 20, I am nervous about sex mainly because I don't want to be naked. I am not embarrassed but think it would be nicer to leave some clothes on or use a blanket to feel less exposed ...
A. 14 May 2005: I don't see any reason why you shouldn't leave on some clothes. A T-shirt perhaps. You don't have to be naked to make love but it will be good if eventually you do feel comfortable enough to be naked. This will be all about building up confidence ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hugs other girls, but not me...
Q. Why wont my bf hug me when he sees me, but he hugs other girls? ...
A. 14 May 2005: Ask him! It isn't exactly the actions of a boy-friend, not to hug you. Ask him why he feels the need to be familiar with other girls but not you. More than likely he will not have an altogether positive response which may require you to dump him... (read in full...)
I can't seem to stop feeling sad and worthless, but I want to feel good and special...
Q. I am 32 year old woman from South Africa, and while searching Google I found your web-site. I am hoping that I can get some help from you as I have reached the end of my tether. I am an overweight woman, not obese, and not unattractive. I have...
A. 13 May 2005: You have begun to do the right things to increase your sense of self worth; by having your teeth and hair done and starting a new business but you also need to deal with the inner you. It does sound as if you are still depressed and you need to ... (read in full...)
We split up just months before the wedding; now he has a new girlfriend. Can we fix this?
Q. I am 26 years old and my ex partner is 32. We split up about ten weeks ago, two days after his birthday where we had a brilliant day and he told me that he spent it will the most important thing in his life. We had been engagement for two years ...
A. 13 May 2005: He may not be over you, indeed. However, this could be due to the fact that he is confused and has been for quite a while. Possibly the wedding did scare him, the enormity of it all perhaps and the committment it involved. The fact that he is sayin... (read in full...)
I've fallen hard for my online boyfriend, but he has one odd and annoying habit...
Q. I have been chatting to this guy on the net for 9 months now. I have fallen so hard for him and he has told me that he feels the same way. We get along so well most of the time, but he has this habit of going offline when we have an argument and ...
A. 12 May 2005: It can happen, people can fall in love, meet and live happily ever after through online dating but more so is the case that people meet, then fall in love and live happily ever after! This can also happen through online dating but you do have to ... (read in full...)
Worried that my mate and my ex are going to meet up...
Q. I've recently broke up with my girlfriend. I was very much in love with her but she ended it. The other day, my mate said that she has texted him about meeting up. He said he wouldn't do anything cos he knows how I feel, but I'm feeling very ...
A. 12 May 2005: I believe that if he is a good mate he will allow time to pass, for you to feel better and for your ex girlfriend to also not immediately jump into another relationship. This is likely to be doomed from the outset, it would be too fast. She also ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend won't swallow. Can I talk her around to seeing it my way?
Q. hiya, I was just wondering. I have been going out with my gilfriend for 3 years and I really want her to swallow my cum. Are there any ways in whichI can get her to do this? Thanx...
A. 11 May 2005: Try swallowing it yourself and then you can find out exactly what it tastes like. When you have done this, then decide whether you would wish to inflict this on your girlfriend. Seriously, if she hasn't swallowed it in the last three years, c... (read in full...)
What are the signs of a cheating partner?
Q. Hello, what do I look for when I suspect that my fiancee is cheating?...
A. 11 May 2005: Here are some signs that may be indicative of unfaithfulness but remember, they could apply to other things such as stresses in life and other events that may make him seem defensive. 1. Washing more frequently, a distinctive smell of aftersha... (read in full...)
While my g/f rediscovers herself, she doesn't want a boyfriend. Now what?
Q. Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me last night, because she has found a new her, and has a new, more positive view on life. She said that now she needs to rediscover herself on her own and not be with anyone while she figures herself out. She sa...
A. 11 May 2005: I'm sorry to try to make you face reality but if she was also head over heels in love with you, why would she break up with you? Even if she does want to be independent and find her way, she would still want you by her side, she would still want to ... (read in full...)
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