While my g/f rediscovers herself, she doesn't want a boyfriend. Now what?
Q. Hi, my girlfriend broke up with me last night, because she has found a new her, and has a new, more positive view on life. She said that now she needs to rediscover herself on her own and not be with anyone while she figures herself out. She sa...
A. 11 May 2005: I'm sorry to try to make you face reality but if she was also head over heels in love with you, why would she break up with you? Even if she does want to be independent and find her way, she would still want you by her side, she would still want to ... (read in full...)
My bf wears his wedding ring on a chain around his neck. It makes me feel like I don't count!
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly two years. He has been divorced for about a year or so but he still wears his wedding ring on his necklace. This makes me feel like I am nothing in comparsion to his ex. He never tells me he loves me. When I a...
A. 11 May 2005: It seems to me as if your boyfriend is still clinging onto the past by wearing the ring around his neck. As he is divorced, he shouldn't still be wearing it. Also, he should understand why you have a problem with it for this very reason only. I ... (read in full...)
Nothing I do seems good enough for my fiancee and her kids... and I'm always in the wrong!
Q. I have a very troubled relationship with my fiancee. It seems every time we get back on our feet something knocks us down again. I gave up the bachelor's life with all its trimmings to move in with her and her two children and I'm doing my level be...
A. 6 May 2005: Firstly, what were your reasons for giving up so much? Did you do this to pay off your partner's debts as it seems rather odd that you would give up two jobs as well as a nice car when you would most certainly need them. Do you constantly push the ... (read in full...)
I have lots of male friends, but I can't seem to form romantic relationships...
Q. Hi, I'm worried that there's something stopping me from forming a relationship. I have always had quite a few male friends, men have been interested in me for sex, but I rarely meet anyone who wants to actually have a relationship with me. When I...
A. 6 May 2005: You may be putting across the wrong vibes unconsciously so that men are reading you wrong. They may sometimes think you only really want something casual and other times, they may be scared off when you realise how much you feel for them. Give y... (read in full...)
I didn't get to enjoy our threesome... and now I can't stop thinking of the other guy!
Q. I am married to a wonderful man. We wanted to spice up our love life so asked one of my husband's male work colleague to join us in a threesome. But after I gave him oral sex he backed out of the idea. Problem is, I want to take it further,...
A. 6 May 2005: I think you need to spice up your love life and not by having an affair as this could lead to so much heartache.You may receive sexual satisfaction but at the cost of losing your husband. Do not have contact with this other man and put that occasion... (read in full...)
She accepted my proposal 6 months ago, but now she says I might not be The One..!
Q. I have been in a relationship for almost 2 1/2 years. I asked her to marry me about 6 months ago she said "yes." After that, I thought we were going to live happily ever after. Now she tells me that she is confused, doesn't know what she wants he...
A. 6 May 2005: Not really, the ball is in her court and you giving her time and space is the right thing to do. She, I assume, is aware that you are doing this and aware that you aren't pressurising her which is good. After a while, perhaps it would be a good ide... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his interest in porn magazines?
Q. I have been with my partner for about a year now. He works away a lot and when he asked me to join him for a week I jumped at the chance. While he was out working I was left in his hotel room and I came across some porn mags. I was really upset ...
A. 2 May 2005: I don't believe you should worry simply because your partner works away a lot. I also don't think him glancing at porn mags is a threat to you or your relationship. However, I don't think its 100% normal for men to look at porn. If a man is in an ... (read in full...)
Is he just being a "lad" or did he mean it about not wanting to move in with me?
Q. Hi, I overheard my boyfriend saying to his mate that going travelling for while would be a good way to put off moving in with me. Is he likely to really mean this, and not want to move in with me, or is he just being a lad? I haven't asked hi...
A. 1 May 2005: It could have been a flippant comment made to his mate to make him look as if other things were more important to him than a relationship. A lad type thing to say, all to do with creating a certain image. However, it could also have been the trut... (read in full...)
Could it work out with my guy in Tunisia?
Q. I met a guy in Tunisia and he wanted to marry me, but when I got home to England he seemed different over the phone. Could this had worked out for us being so far away from each other?...
A. 1 May 2005: It could be that what you experienced was simply a holiday romance and that once reality set in, feelings faded. It could have worked out providing you both felt strongly for each other but it would have meant you somehow spending what time you coul... (read in full...)
Turnabout is fair play, but she won't give me oral any more!
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. 2 years ago she stopped giving me oral sex butI give it to her every time we make love. How can I get her give me it return ?...
A. 1 May 2005: By thrusting her head down there??! Seriously, have you tried talking to her about it? If you have gone two years without oral sex, I would imagine you would have at least hinted about her not doing it! Perhaps she really doesn't like doing it, it ... (read in full...)
My husband has moved out, has been texting our neighbour and says he doesn't love me any more!
Q. 6 months ago checked husband's mobile phone, found texts from my female neighbour! I have twins (4 yrs old now). We've been married for 7 yrs this Aug. I thought my husband and I were soulmates; this is my second marriage. I adore him! He had a tu...
A. 1 May 2005: You aren't going mad, its just that so much is happening that is traumatic for you. I would say that your husband has problems because of his childhood, because of the way he is treating you now and because it seems he could be suffering from dep... (read in full...)
I might have waited too long to tell her about my feelings...
Q. I've had feelings for this girl since I met her 2 years ago. She is my best friend and we do almost everything together. Because I thought she was uninterested I never made a move. She got together with this guy and a year and a half later, he has ...
A. 1 May 2005: I think in this situation, you have put the ball in her court and she has to decide what to do with it. If she is as confused as she says, then she shouldn't really be with this other guy but she has to make up her own mind. Continue to be friends ... (read in full...)
I have days when I think I love my boyfriend... and other days when I just don't know.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend now for 2 and a half months. The problem is some days I really love him and then I have other days when I think I don't if I do. I don't want to finish with him because I know that I will miss him so much and I also ...
A. 1 May 2005: Perhaps you aren't ready yet for a fully committed relationship. However, judging from what you say, although he gives you unlimited love and affection, you still feel a bit left out of his life. Perhaps this is what the real issue is here, that you ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in her, but she's only 16. Do I tell her or wait until she finishes school?
Q. Dear cupid, I have got a problem. There is this girl that I like but she is 4 years younger than me. I'm 19 and she is 16. The next thing is that I am a technician at the school she goes to. So what do I do? Do I tell her how I feel, wait till ...
A. 30 April 2005: Striking up a friendship with her initially could be a good idea. You may have already done this but continue to work on it. Ask her about her interests and family life and what she is going to do when she leaves school. I can't see any reason w... (read in full...)
Is it OK if I say yes to the boy I fancy, or would that hurt his ex's feelings?
Q. A boy asked me out and I really fancy him but he only just dumped another girl. Should I say yes or will it be offensive towards the girl he just dumped?...
A. 26 April 2005: This all depends on what she may still feel for him and what their relationship was like, how long they were together. There really should be some time in between relationships before forging ahead with another one as this gives the person time to ... (read in full...)
During sex, he called out someone else's name... and I know her!
Q. I'm totally crazy about my boyfriend and thought I could trust him. Now I'm not so sure. A couple of nights ago he called out a girl's name while we were having sex. I know the girl, he always told me that he just thought of her as his mate's ...
A. 26 April 2005: He probably is trustworthy; just because he called out her name doesn't mean to say he has been doing anything with her but it does seem as if he was thinking about her, fantasising about her which in my book is wrong. He should have been calling ... (read in full...)
He has work, college and me to deal with... He said I was too much "drama" and dumped me.
Q. My boyfriend of almost nine months broke up with me 2 days ago because I gave him too much "drama." The supposed drama I gave him was pressure to be sweet to me and to not snap at me constantly. We have been so good for each other and so happy un...
A. 26 April 2005: It could be because he is under so much stress that he feels he can't handle the relationship at the moment. People deal with stress in different ways and some of us are better at coping with it than others. It seems he isn't too good at dealing ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend just isn't interested in sex, but he says he fancies me...
Q. My boyfriend is never interested in sex. He says he still fancies me and wants to be with me. So what do you think could be the problem?...
A. 25 April 2005: There could be a variety of reasons why he isn't interested in sex. It could be stress at work. He could have a very low sex drive. It could be performance worries. It could be a whole range of psychological reasons; things that are on his mind. T... (read in full...)
She flirts, I drink, we argue, we split. We do this again and again. Do we quit?
Q. Me and my partner have been together for three years off and on. We argue because she flirts with guys. She is possesive, she tries to control everything I do. I normally start drinking, as am an alcoholic. I go to mum's and then stop drinking, ...
A. 25 April 2005: It seems almost as if you are feeding off each others bad habits and have got into a rut, a kind of vicious circle. You need to find ways to break this. It strikes me that you both could do with some outside help. Have you considered couple c... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with my best friend's girl...
Q. I'm in love with my best friend's girlfriend. I have only known her for 2 months but I feel very close to her and can tell her anything. What should I do?...
A. 24 April 2005: Consider your best friend first and foremost. She is already with someone and it would be wrong to encourage a relationship with her. They may not stay together but then they may. No one knows what the future holds. At this moment in time, she is ... (read in full...)
I know I was an idiot, but can I fix things with her?
Q. Hi, I messed up badly with this girl I really like. I got really drunk and acted like an idiot and now she hates me What shall i do????...
A. 24 April 2005: Say sorry repeatedly to her. Say you didn't mean to act like a complete idiot and that you really like her and would she give you another chance. That's about the most you can do apart from grovelling! The rest is up to her. If she decides she does ... (read in full...)
Our engagement announcement was postponed when I discovered her cheating...
Q. I'm 26 and have been with me Girlfriend for 8 years now. She once used to be my sisters best friend and as we got to know each other we found there was so much deeper stuff between us. Life’s been dandy (don’t get me wrong there have been some real ...
A. 23 April 2005: The affair she had (which we hope she isn't still continuing) could have been due to her fear of committment or wanting attention. You love her, that's why you have stuck by her while she basically finds out what she wants. You must be so worried. I... (read in full...)
Six months ago he went from being a wonderful partner, to a threatening, angry, unhappy man...
Q. I'm 36, have 2 teenage kids from previous marraige. 5.5 years ago I met this wonderful man (on the internet)who treated me and my kids fantasticly.I fell in love with him and moved 350 miles away from my friends and family to live with him. We...
A. 23 April 2005: He is doing something wrong. He is hurting you. He tells you the things he doesn't like about you (does he tell you anything that he does like?) He is intimidating and belittling in public (is he like that at home too?)He insults you and calls you ... (read in full...)
When we argue, he calls me hurtful things. Am I at fault?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having problems latly, and when arguing, he starts calling me fat, lazy, messed up and other hurtful things. I have got a bad attitude problem. Is he saying all this stuff because I make him??...
A. 23 April 2005: No, I think he is more than likely saying all these things because he is trying to hurt you and he simply isn't very nice! Do you insult him? Because if you don't, why should he you? Try asking him in a quieter moment if he honestly means the things ... (read in full...)
I think about him all the time, because we got on so well... so why didn't he try to contact me?
Q. Hi, I met this man who I really like. We got on really well. I know him because we have some of the same friends, but lately I haven't seen him or heard from him and I can't stop thinking about him. Nothing happened, so I don't know why I feel ...
A. 21 April 2005: Why not try and get in touch with him? Can you do that? There is a possibility that he is shy and isn't sure of how you feel for him. There is also the possibility that other things are going on in his life. You need to find out for your own peace ... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. I went a bit far with my ex boyfriend. When he fingered me I bled. Does this mean I've lost my virginity?? Will I bleed again if I have sexual intercourse? My boyfriend keeps reminding me about how it would be like on our wedding night.. The thing ...
A. 21 April 2005: You are still a virgin and will remain so until you have intercourse. You may bleed but it isn't anything to be concerned about as it is normal so please do not worry about this. In terms of stitching back up, do you mean literally?? Again, do not ... (read in full...)
Our little arguments are stupid and they make me depressed. How do we get beyond this?
Q. Hi I have been going out with my boyfriend for a year and a bit now and I know we are deeply in love. We can't get enough of each other, but the only thing is recently we have been having arguments about stupid things, like I don't want to gi...
A. 21 April 2005: Are the things that you are arguing about stupid? Perhaps they aren't to him or even really to you. It seems you may need to discuss a few things when you both have a quieter moment and uncover any issues you both may have. You need to be able to ... (read in full...)
He won't divorce his wife, but maybe that doesn't matter...
Q. I have been living with a man who is 24 years older. I'm 40. He is still married and won't get divorced because he doesn't want to upset her. I don't love him any more but would feel guilty if I left him....
A. 19 April 2005: I think there must be a bit more to this situation than what you have said here. You are living with him but he is still married to someone else but he won't divorce her for fear of upsetting her? Why is that? They aren't sharing a life together ... (read in full...)
What do his actions mean? And why is he so nasty to me?
Q. Sometimes i think this boy luvs me cause he stares at me and then next minute he's all nasty. What does it mean? from foxy...
A. 18 April 2005: He probably is fascinated by you and probably does like you but there is peer pressure to consider and he doesn't want to look daft in front of his mates despite what he may feel. He could be covering up his feelings by being nasty to you. He is ... (read in full...)
His depressions led to our break up, but now he's getting treatment and I miss him so much!
Q. My boyfriend broke up with me recently, completely out of the blue. We had lived together for 3 years and been together for nearly 5 years. The main reason that he gave me is that he's been feeling very depressed and is worried about dragging m...
A. 18 April 2005: He broke up with you because he felt he could be dragging you down with his depression. However, you have found that when you are together, you are comfortable and happy with each other. It seems odd in a way that he made the decision to split which ... (read in full...)
Is she just using her divorce as an excuse?
Q. My girlfriend says she needs 'time out', she's going through a divorce. But she was going through a divorce when we got together. What changed? She says she still loves me. ...
A. 18 April 2005: Ask her. Find out if it is due to the divorce that she needs time out or if there is another reason she hasn't communicated with you. Explain how she was going through her divorce when you first got together and that you are concerned that things ... (read in full...)
Girls: Do you prefer sensitive guys or muscly show-offs ?
Q. Dear GIRLS!!! I have a theory about the type of guys you like and need some advice. I think that most girls when they are in their teenage years prefer muscly, jerky show-offs, and then adults prefer sensitive guys. I'm pretty sensitive, and I ...
A. 16 April 2005: It all depends on the girl! When I was a teenager, I was shy and sensitive so I wouldn't have been able to handle a muscly show-off! I'm an adult now, still a bit on the shy side and sensitive and still prefer the sensitive type. However, saying ... (read in full...)
He's gone strange and secretive, and he doesn't seem interested in our son any more...
Q. Me and my partner have been together 1 yr on 26-04-05 and we were until 4 wks ago living together quite happily, or so I thought. I have a son of 6 months, and me and my partner have been together since I was 12 wks gone. But just lately he has b...
A. 16 April 2005: Why in the world do you have to choose between moving in together into your own place and celebrating your anniversary? Why can't you do both? You aren't being demanding wanting to spend time with him like you used to before. Something is amiss he... (read in full...)
There just doesn't seem to be any way to get back to the way we used to be!
Q. How do I get over this guy??? I am 13 and he was my first boyfriend. I really liked him, I thought I loved him at one time, but I was never sure, so I don't think that I really did, but I really really liked him. We went out for a year. We have ...
A. 16 April 2005: You are trying to deal with feelings of hurt right now so it is really hard for you to act normally around this boy. People much older than you would also find it far from easy too so please don't give yourself a hard time. It would be a little e... (read in full...)
I need guidance and advice on great sex...
Q. I have a boyfriend that is really into sex. I am into it very much too. But I am very afraid to show emotion during it. I do not know what to do with my hands and I really do not know what to do, period. I need sex advice now. Tell me what to do to...
A. 15 April 2005: I think it may be too easy to say just go with the flow and be yourself as I imagine you have already tried this. I believe the best thing to do to start with is to ask him what he would like you to do. Contrary to popular belief, not all men like ... (read in full...)
Very affectionate in private, but when he's with his mates, it's like he doesn't even care!
Q. I am going out with this boy I've really liked for ages. When we're alone, he's really clingy and that, which I don't mind. I quite like it, but when we're at school and he's with his mates he doesn't hug me or want to kiss me or anything else. W...
A. 14 April 2005: It's simple really, you can't change him, only time will when he has grown up which probably applies to 'anonymous' below. Boys don't like to show affection in public because it goes against their strong, macho image. They like other boys to think ... (read in full...)
I'm scared of my abusive boyfriend
Q. Please help I just got beaten very badly and need advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. He and I have had a completely trustful, honest, supportive relationship. Yet every now and then it can be a verbally abusive ...
A. 14 April 2005: I think your safety and security is of paramount importance but I believe there is a bit more to this situation. You say your relationship can be verbally abusive. Does that mean you both are verbally abusive to each other? You have said that you... (read in full...)
I have a few questions about sex with my boyfriend...
Q. Hi. I have a few questions. I've been with my guy for almost 5 years. We have been off and on, but he has been the only guy I've been having sex with. In the beginning, the sex was good. It was fun and we'd do a lot of positions. One of the tim...
A. 13 April 2005: Firstly, I think it is highly unlikely that the guy that you slept with before 'stretched' you even if he was bigger than your boyfriend. Stretching tends to more so occur with giving birth than with sex. Kegal exercises whereby you tone your pelvic ... (read in full...)
Mom says he'll deceive me again, but I want to give him a second chance...
Q. Me and this guy was going out, and I broke up with him cause I knew he was keeping something from me. So after we broke it off we didn't talk for the longest time, then we saw each other in a store and we kinda locked eyes (it was really weird) s...
A. 12 April 2005: You sound as if you may be quite young and I think your mum is just trying to protect you from getting hurt. The guy you were seeing sounds as if he is young too but maturing. I think all that really happened before was a process of growing up, I ... (read in full...)
A bit of innuendo never hurt anyone... but my hubby's friend's wife can't see that...
Q. How do I persuade my hubby's friend's wife that she has nothing to be jealous of when we are out as a foursome? I get on well with the bloke and we have innuendo going between us but that is it. I would never have an affair or try and destroy ...
A. 11 April 2005: This is difficult really as flirtation is fine if everyone is happy about it. When one person flirts with another it is normally an indication that they fancy them. Some people, however, are naturally flirtatious so there is a fine line between what ... (read in full...)
Maybe he'll want me back if I change, but in the meantime I'm "not what he wants"...
Q. One month ago I was dumped. He told me I wasn't what he wanted anymore. We were best friends, done most things together and I know we both loved each other inside out. A couple of months ago things changed. He wanted to go out every Saturday...
A. 11 April 2005: Can you change? Do you want to change? And should you change? What exactly does he want? Have you found this out? All these questions but it all boils down to one thing really; he should accept and love you as you are. Unless you have done something ... (read in full...)
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