How do we go back to how things were though she cheated?
Q. 3 days ago I discovered my partner of 5 years was seeing someone else. I still desperately love her, and want to get over this and get back together. She has been seeing him for a month and says that while she still has feelings for me, she loves ...
A. 27 November 2005: I am so sorry for the pain that you are in right now and my heart goes out to you.
If she is aware of the fact that you want the relationship to work and that you forgive her for her unfaithfulness, then the ball really is in her court now.
I don... (read in full...)
I have a flying phobia..am I selfish to ask my partner not to travel without me?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 5.5 years, we bought a house together last year and are very happy. I really don't like flying due to a phobia, this is something I hope to overcome in the future but for now means I am unable to travel ...
A. 25 November 2005: My heart goes out to you as you are in a no win situation here; stay or go will bring about discomfort and even pain.
The answer below is not too sympathetic. A phobia is a little bit more than just a feeling that can be worked on and ignored and ... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want sex. Do I look elsewhere?
Q. My wife does not want to make love any more. She does not like sex - totally uninterested and refuses help. She is happy this way. Do I look elsewhere?...
A. 25 November 2005: Looking for sex elsewhere isn't the solution to the problem but talking to your wife and explaining again exactly how you feel and what you are thinking, is.
Would she be happy for you to have an affair? Would another woman be content to have sex ... (read in full...)
Does he like another?
Q. how do i know if my b/f likes another girl?...
A. 25 November 2005: Well, perhaps the most obvious thing to do would be to ask him and if you trust him, you will receive an honest reply. This would be the best way to apporach the problem as communication in a relationship is very important.
Other ways to dete... (read in full...)
I want to get my boyfriend something special and memorable for Christmas...
Q. It's time to shop for Christmas presents but I have no idea what to buy for by boyfriend. He plays soccer and baseball, eats a lot, listens to soft rock and some rap. Whenever I ask him what he wants, he says he has everything he needs in me. T...
A. 25 November 2005: How about buying a really nice photo frame and printing out a lovely picture of yourself and boyfriend and putting it in the frame? That would be something he could keep forever and shows effort and thought too.... (read in full...)
He prefers his bicycle to me!
Q. Recently my boyfriend has become obsessed with his bicycle. He spends so much time modifying and fixing the thing we don't even have a sex life, or even a social life anymore! I am 24 and he is 27 and we live together. I even caught him ma...
A. 24 November 2005: The professional relationship consultant below should know then that people can get somewhat addicted to other things and as a result neglect their partner. Perhaps a little amusing what he is addicted to but not funny overall. It can be a serious ... (read in full...)
Why can't my boyfriend spend his New Year's Eve with me, instead of back in Kansas?
Q. I am very disappointed with my boyfriend of one and a half years, because I told him I wanted to spend New Year's Eve with him. He said he did too, but 2 weeks later, when I asked what he wanted to do for New Year's, he said he had decided to go to ...
A. 24 November 2005: I think the two answers below are making assumptions.
The first anonymous answer is making your problem make you seem like a possessive girlfriend and basically cruelly taking the p**s.
The second is making it seem as if your boyfriend is torn wit... (read in full...)
Why can't my boyfriend spend his New Year's Eve with me, instead of back in Kansas?
Q. I am very disappointed with my boyfriend of one and a half years, because I told him I wanted to spend New Year's Eve with him. He said he did too, but 2 weeks later, when I asked what he wanted to do for New Year's, he said he had decided to go to ...
A. 24 November 2005: I think the two answers below are making assumptions.
The first anonymous answer is making your problem make you seem like a possessive girlfriend and basically cruelly taking the p**s.
The second is making it seem as if your boyfriend is torn wit... (read in full...)
Can I change the way my testicles look?
Q. I am a man of 24 years of age but i am scared to get naked,never mind have sex with women. The problem is im embarrased by the size of my testicles,they are so small and tight u can barely see them.i think girls will laugh when they see them. I...
A. 23 November 2005: All that Bev has said below is completely accurate and just to add to not take any notice of what 'anonymous' says below. Only extremely shallow women (and would you really want to know one who cared only for the size of your penis or testicles?) ... (read in full...)
Should we marry or not?
Q. i', sapossed to be getting married but there alot of things wrong in our relationship. we can't have a serious convertion he wants sex like 10 times a day i want it maybe twice a week what should i do ...
A. 23 November 2005: Don't even consider getting married until these problems are resolved.
He has an extremely high sex drive that makes him sound like a sex addict so I think he may need proper help.
Many couples do have differing sex drives and they can compromi... (read in full...)
My cousin and I want to date!
Q. I hope you can help! Myself and my 2nd cousin are very attracted to each other but havn't yet taken things to the next level as we are unaware of the law in this situation. Please help as we would not like to break the law. We are aware that a lot ...
A. 23 November 2005: You do need to consider if you are likely to want any children. Some problems can arise through genetics but many second cousins haven't experienced any problems at all.
It is okay to be with and even marry your second cousin. You have to go with... (read in full...)
She kissed someone else...what do I do?
Q. I have been going out wit my girlfriend for the past year and 2 months. I love her very very much and i did want to spend the rest of my life with her. I currently travelling round the world and she's back at home studdying at university. Im am ...
A. 23 November 2005: My heart goes out to you and I don't consider you pathetic at all but yes, this does need to be put into perspective.
I'm not saying that what she did was right but she did tell you straight away and it was obviously a very silly mistake she made... (read in full...)
Do I tell my mum's friend that I'm in love with her?
Q. Im a 20yr old female and im in love with my mums best friend who is 38yrs old and married. we are very close and she thinks of me like her little sister, only im so in love with her. I realy want to tell her how i feel because i cant get her out of ...
A. 22 November 2005: Probably not a good idea to tell her as it may make the friendship you have with your mum's friend a bit awkward and perhaps even spoil it.
It seems as if you may have a bit of a crush and this is perfectly natural. It doesn't necessarily mean that... (read in full...)
Rollercoaster relationship but should we be friends?
Q. Me and this guy have been friends for five years and for the bulk of that time he has told me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me, etc. Before I left for college he came over my house and told me that he was in love with me. I didn't ...
A. 22 November 2005: I think this guy does need help. He is so very inconsistent and doesn't seem capable of making up his mind as to what he really wants.
I think it would be best if you just told him that you only wish to be friends with him now and stick to this... (read in full...)
This hurts so much...do I wait or move on from him?
Q. Hello, I've been reading about other peoples problems and a few of those things relate to me. I recently was dumped, by the person with whom, "I Thought" id spend the rest of my life with. We were made for each other, and somewhere, somehow, i still ...
A. 21 November 2005: If you still love him and he still loves you, why aren't you back together? He has declared that he still loves you and can't live without you but what were the reasons for him breaking up with you in the first place? Did they make any sense?
M... (read in full...)
How can we get rid of his sexual frustration?
Q. my bf n i have been together over a year and a half and we talk openly about our relationship. recently he has been telling me he is sexually frustrated. we can have sex and wiv in twenty minutes hes frustrated again. i have spoke to him about ...
A. 21 November 2005: It sounds to me that your boyfriend has a serious problem controlling his sexual urges. Either that or he is trying to get you to allow him to have one night stands!
It isn't normal to be as sexually frustated as he says he is. He needs to seek help... (read in full...)
He wants to go away without me!
Q. My boyfriend of 18 months wants to go to south america for a month on his own as opposed to 2 weeks with me - I can not go any longer as I have 3 children to consider - does this man really love me ? should I end it now ?...
A. 21 November 2005: What has he got planned to do in that month? Have you asked him?
I think you need to sit down and talk to him about this and ask him why it is that he wishes to go away without you and ask him for a straight and honest answer. Only then can you deci... (read in full...)
The idea that my boyfriend looks at porn before having sex with me is a big turn off!
Q. When my boyfriend looks at porn I feel really betrayed and unsexy. I just had a baby and still have a lot of work to do on my body so I am very sensitive anyway, and it just hurts to think that I am not enough for him after what I have been through ...
A. 20 November 2005: You may well be emotional because of postpartum blues but mostly it is due to your boyfriend's antics and my heart goes out to you because many more women appear to be experiencing this problem.
Your boyfriend has a wonderful girlfriend-he is so l... (read in full...)
My girl will have sex with me, but she hates to touch my penis!
Q. My GF has a problem with the texture of penises and finds touching mine revolting. She was badly abused as a kid and won't talk to me about it and, to my mind, clear the gremlins by bringing them out into the open. I suspect this "touching" problem ...
A. 18 November 2005: Probably the best advice would be for her to seek help from a psychologist who would be able to assist her with coming to terms with the abuse she suffered as a child. This is very important but more so for her as well as to help your sex life. It ... (read in full...)
I don't want my husband to even say "hi" to another woman, because he might cheat!
Q. Hello, I'm a 26 year old female married and have two kids. Been married for the past 3 years. When we first got married he hardely said anything that if I look good or no, once in a while! The problem is that I go crazy if I see him standing...
A. 17 November 2005: I think it may be the time for you to have a serious conversation with your husband. He needs to know more of what you are feeling.
Explain to him how insecure you are feeling and that you are uncertain as to his feelings sometimes for you as he d... (read in full...)
I love my wife, but since she's cheated twice, I just don't know if I trust her!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been cheated twice by my wife. We have two lovely kids aged 9 and 10. I truly love my wife but I am now not sure whether I will be able to trust her again. She says she still loves me and wants to keep the family together....
A. 17 November 2005: Trust is a delicate issue and takes a lot of time to build. Unfortunately, it is easily broken and the process then starts again. This is what you are attempting to do and it is hard. It is understandable how you are feeling; mixed emotions of ... (read in full...)
Do I really make my fiancee happy?
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a 23 year old man who is uncertain about how my fiancee feels about me anymore. A few months ago I was put in jail for about a week for mistakes I have made in the past. While I was detained my fiancee slept with my best fri...
A. 16 November 2005: How were things between you and your fiancee before you were detained? It seems to me that perhaps all was not well for her to sleep with your best friend as you weren't in prison exactly long.
Of course you will be wondering if you make her happ... (read in full...)
Do I stay with my new girlfriend?
Q. I've been dating this girl for almost 5 years now and i can say that she is fun to be with. We had our shares of ups and downs for the past few years. But i keep on thinking about my ex-girlfriend, whom i've been with for 2 years before my current ...
A. 15 November 2005: If you are entirely sure that your ex girlfriend is the one you want to be with, then remaining with your current girlfriend mostly because you don't want to break her heart, is unfair on her and giving her false hopes.
In the short-term, she will... (read in full...)
When does sex start to feel good?
Q. I've been with this guy for about 2 monthsish and the other night I lost my virginity to him. It was my choice nd I've got no regrets at all. I was just in some kind of numb pain all the way through, and wondered how many times you have sex before ...
A. 15 November 2005: This all depends on a number of factors such as how understanding and considerate of your needs is your partner, how relaxed you are, emotional matters such as whether you are really ready for an intimate relationship, etc, etc.
Physically spea... (read in full...)
I think my bf is basically good, but he runs hot, then cold, then hot...
Q. I have this boyfriend. I really do like him and I can see the good in him. But I think he doesn't know what he wants. Because one day I'm his girlfriend and he is as sweet as can be towards me, then the next day he says he hates me and doesn't want ...
A. 14 November 2005: When he is being fine with you, ask him why he blows hot and cold and what makes him feel as if he hates you. Ask him what his thoughts are before he says such hurtful words to you. Explain to him that it can't go on like this and that if he doesn't ... (read in full...)
I feel like my boyfriend hates me!
Q. I know my boyfriend from high school but after graduation he went to prison for 2 years. Before he went away he was so sweet and we were really good friends. Now that he is out, he is so mean to me. We have only been dating for 1 month and I feel ...
A. 14 November 2005: Expect far more respect from him and expect to be treated decently.
If you are asking him for reassurance and he refuses to give it or if he isn't providing you with love and understanding, then he isn't worth spending time with.
Perhaps being in... (read in full...)
He hasn't learned not to mess around with other girls, and now he wants a 3rd chance...
Q. I was with my boyfriend for maybe about 1 month an a half but throughout the whole relationship it was nothing but him playing games with my head and us fighting all the time. It all started out in the beginning he cheated on me with on of my frien...
A. 14 November 2005: I think you already know the answer to this dilemma.
He can only deserve a second chance if he changes his behaviour. Has he done this?
If he hasn't and if you know he won't, then you will only be letting yourself in for more emotional hassle t... (read in full...)
Does the one who had the first crush automatically have "dating rights"?
Q. I'm seventeen, and I'm co-stage-managing a play with a great guy. I met him at the start of the play, and I currently have a huge crush on him. However, a close friend is the lead, and she's also got a crush on him. She's constantly flirting with ...
A. 11 November 2005: I understand you not wanting to hurt your friend and you are a very good pal to consider her feelings. However, if you did go out with this man, you wouldn't be betraying her because she doesn't have any rights to him just because she fell for him ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I had sex 2 weeks ago. Could I be pregnant?
Q. I'm 15 and I had sex with my boyfriend almost 2 week ago and I've been geting signs of pregnancy, like tiredness, constantly going to the bathroom, eating a lot, getting headaches, and feeling sick. I'm not getting my hopes up or whatever, but I'm ...
A. 9 November 2005: To begin with, it is very early for you to be getting these symptoms, although some women don't feel 'quite right' very early into a pregnancy. Chances are that you are imagining some of the signs and are worrying which can cause symptoms very ... (read in full...)
Lack of sex has driven me into the arms of my partner's best friend...
Q. I have been with my boyfreind for 4 years, I love him with all my soul but when it comes to sex, he has no interest. When we first started dating we had great sex but not anymore. I've tried everything to spice up our sex life and nothing seemed to ...
A. 9 November 2005: I think you probably already know that what you have been doing for the past two years, though understandable, is extremely unfair on your boyfriend. He has a low sex drive which makes intimacy between you minimal and that is certainly unfair on you ... (read in full...)
I'm waiting for my online married guy to leave his unhappy marriage, so we can be together...
Q. I was happily married for seven years, so I thought, but my husband left me for a much younger woman. I have some children but was lonely. I went in a chatroom and met a man I think is wonderful. From the start he told me he was married but unhappy....
A. 9 November 2005: I am going to be a little bit harsh here, I'm afraid.
Haven't you ever heard the saying; "My wife doesn't understand me?"
This man wants his cake and eat it and you are allowing him to do so. The chances of him leaving his wife are minimal.... (read in full...)
I was shocked to find out my boyfriend has been having an online relationship while with me!
Q. I found out that my boyfriend of almost a year, has had an on-line affair with a woman from another country. He's even asked her to marry him. He has no intention of doing so. I was devastated...betrayed...this was the first man I had dated in ...
A. 8 November 2005: What has he said about all this? Why did he ask her to marry him when he had no intention of doing so? Has he given any reasons for his behaviour and has he told you if he is likely to do such a thing again?
A relationship, in which to survive, need... (read in full...)
My guy seems more interested in dope-smoking and video games than our future. Will he ever grow up?
Q. I was ugly in high school and could never get a boyfriend, so when I got out of high school I was searching for one high and low. I fell in love with a loser. I know he loves me but I just think we don't have enough in common. When we first go...
A. 7 November 2005: The most important thing for you to do is raise your self esteem. Get out there and make a life for yourself, an independent life away from this man who will bring you down if you allow him.
Think about all your good qualities and write them down... (read in full...)
Lack of sleep affects my disposition with my boyfriend, and he takes my snappishness to heart!
Q. hi.. I'm a 20 year old female and I've been with my 21 year old boyfriend almost a year now. We love each other very much and have plans to get married when we finish studying, we've started saving and everything. The two of us study architec...
A. 7 November 2005: It seems to me that you both want attention from each other and because you both can't give this to each other freely, you are both becoming somewhat insecure.
Investigate any ways together that you can make yourself better and get more sleep. Why ... (read in full...)
Need some advice on why my girl pulls away from my affection...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for nine months now and I find that the intimacy level between us has declined quite drastically. She has told me in the past that she is not a kissy cuddly person even though she most times shows that she likes ...
A. 7 November 2005: If it was the case that she had always been this way, not very demonstrative, then I would say that you may have to accept her being that way. Some people simply aren't affectionate and it could be to do with something that has happened before; a ... (read in full...)
Can my boss dismiss me, just because she's embarrassed that we slept together?
Q. Hi, I need some advice on what to do about a rather tricky situation. A couple of months ago I slept with my boss who is female. I am 25 and she is 40. The attraction had been there for a while and this only happened afer a work party when I was ve...
A. 6 November 2005: I think this very much depends upon your contract.
Under normal grounds of employment, a reasonable reason(s) would have to be given for dismissal. Is this the same for your contract? You say it is up for renewal, perhaps an explanation has to be g... (read in full...)
Can I persuade my student not to return to school, or should I stop worrying about it?
Q. Hi. I hope someone can give me some advice or help put things in perspective for me. I am a teacher at a college and am worried about a student. She is quite ill and seems to need my help a lot. The problem is that I can't handle her being around a...
A. 4 November 2005: Your partner is right and wrong. Yes, indeed, this student should be allowed to return to college to continue her studies but you shouldn't have to carry the emotional burden if she does return.
I think the best thing for you to do is approach othe... (read in full...)
In order to get full custody of her son, my fiancee had to cut off contact with me!
Q. I am engaged to be married a year from now to the most wonderful woman in the world, positively my true love. We have been best friends for 3 years and our love for each other was unstoppable and became clear last May. With her I knew a happiness ...
A. 4 November 2005: Unless you have committed terrible crimes against children or her ex husband has proof that you are unfit to be close to a child (which obviously isn't the case) then he can't make such demands on your lady. She has every right to live a full and ... (read in full...)
Financial troubles and fights about our kids are ruining our relationship...
Q. I have been in a relationship with the same man for 2 years. We have a 4 month old and I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship. Recently he has been getting angry a lot and we argue a lot over the children and our finances. I dont know what ...
A. 3 November 2005: I think you may need to learn how to settle problems without arguing and the best way to do this is to sit down and actually listen to each other's point of view.
Allow each other, say, 10 minutes to view your grievances and the other person just... (read in full...)
It's me that wants sex. I have to beg my husband for anything more than a cuddle!
Q. This question is very embarrassing. I've been married for 8 years and 6 of those 8 years have been almost sexless between me and my husband. The really hard part is that it's me who wants sex and NOT my husband. Usually...men want to have all the ...
A. 2 November 2005: There are other women dealing or at least trying to deal with such a situation. You aren't alone.
Intimacy is part of a marriage and I think you are certainly at a stage whereby you can say to your husband that unless he seeks medical or ther... (read in full...)
He said he loved me and was going to leave his gf. Now I think I'm pregnant and he's still with her!
Q. I had an affair with a guy that has a girlfriend because he told me he really loved me and that he was going to leave her. Now that I think I am pregnant by him. He swears to her that it ain't his and that he don't love me. What should I do?...
A. 2 November 2005: It is probably a bit too late to preach about not going with someone who already has a girlfriend as you can't always believe what they say and their promises, that they aren't trustworthy to be doing it in the first place, that if they really ... (read in full...)
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