My friends say he cheated, even though he denies it. Now we're broken up.
Q. hello everyone! I really need some advice about my ex-boyfriend. We were together for 3 years (high school sweetheart) and have been seperated for 3 months now. I found out that he had cheated on me while he was away at school. I confront...
A. 19 September 2005: You say you found out he cheated on you but can you be absolutely sure that he did I wonder? Did you only rely on what your friends said or did you have any firm proof?
I'm not sure if that was the reason why you split?
He denied it and you can ... (read in full...)
He upsets me and I feel awful, but I'm still sleeping with him. Help!
Q. I am 19 years old and recently met a man who I really liked a lot even though I was warned against. Instead of taking the advice I continued seeing him anyway. After 4 months of seeing him, I decided to sleep with him but he is the 1st person I...
A. 16 September 2005: You are a young woman but you need to be very strong here. I'm sure you are aware of the fact that this man is using you. He doesn't care for how you feel because of the way he treats you.
You are keeping it a secret, why? Because people warned you ... (read in full...)
My partner has mid-life crises every year!
Q. Every year my boyfriend has a midlife crisis (he's 49) immediately after he takes his children on vacation and returns to face another birthday! They go to California, where he starts thinking about his "glory days" in his twenties. He comes back ...
A. 16 September 2005: I believe he needs to be made more aware of the havoc he is creating by doing this each year. He needs to know the effect it has on you and he needs to sort himself out.
Counselling could be the answer, providing he would actually go and get it. ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged to a new man... but still dream of a life with my ex!
Q. Who to Marry?? I was dating a guy for 10 years and he was the love of my life. We started dating when we were very young and many things happened in those 10 years, including him cheating on me, and myself cheating on him. However, our relation...
A. 16 September 2005: The answer to this question that you have does really rely on whether you wish to pursue a life possibly packed with excitement, fun and unreliability or one of stability, honesty and dependability. The latter doesn't have to be boring; you can add ... (read in full...)
I'd hate to lose him as my friend, but we're interested in dating each other...
Q. I have been friends with this guy for about 8 years now. During our friendship, I got married and divorced, remarried and about to go through another divorce. He has always been my shoulder to cry on. When things started to go wrong in my curr...
A. 15 September 2005: Are you attracted to him? Be honest with yourself. Do you love him? Do you think about him all the time or is he more like a brother in some ways? Is there magic in your relationship? Or perhaps more importantly, do you want magic in your ... (read in full...)
She's laid down the law, and she won't go anyplace with me where people might be smoking cannabis...
Q. Dear agony aunt, I have recently got together with a girl that I met and have been a couple for about 3 weeks. From the outset I made it clear to her that I smoke the occasional bit of cannabis. She also made it clear that she was not a fan of i...
A. 15 September 2005: Okay, you say you have a wide circle of friends. Surely they don't all smoke cannabis? Why not see the ones who don't when you are with your girlfriend and when you aren't with her, see the ones that do smoke it.
I think compromise is in order here... (read in full...)
I deleted one picture from my phone, and my ex broke up with me over it!
Q. I Really need help. Me and my now ex-boyfriend were dating for 5 months. Me and him were not speaking for a week and on Friday of that week I left town for vaction. He called me basically every day saying he missed me and sweet talking me. fter a...
A. 15 September 2005: He sounds a bit immature and somewhat unsure of himself.
If you really do miss him very much, why not get in contact with him, explain again that there wasn't a boy in the picture and tell him how much you miss him.
A week has passed now, so why n... (read in full...)
Every time my boyfriend checks out women with big boobs, my heart sinks
Q. I am a small busted woman. I have always wanted bigger ones. My BF's exwife is petite w/ Big Boobs. His 15 yr old daughter has big boobs. When we have sex, foreplay to him is sucking my boobs and he gets aroused by that. That is what turns him on ...
A. 15 September 2005: I think it is important that you explain how you are feeling to your boyfriend and that you have even seriously considered surgery to solve the 'problem'. Make him aware of how insecure it makes you feel when he ogles other women who are big ... (read in full...)
Engaged last December, but he keeps putting back the date of the wedding!
Q. My boyfriend and I have dated and now live together for over 6 years. We got engaged last December but keep putting back the date because he has issues with his disability. I love him but I don't know if I should keep going on or just tell him it's ...
A. 12 September 2005: Have another attempt at trying to raise his esteem, or at least help him to raise his own esteem. I don't know what his disability is or the impact it has on his life but leading a more independent life could help him to gain more confidence in ... (read in full...)
I want my ex back, but he'll never take me back if he finds out I've lost my virginity to someone else!
Q. Ok I have a huge problem! I am 19 years old, currently dating a 31 year old for the past 3 months. Everything is great and he's so much fun and I like him a lot. I lost my virginity to him and he's such a sweet guy, treats me very kindly. The only...
A. 12 September 2005: A) You aren't being fair at all to your current boyfriend by being in touch with your ex, still loving your ex and wanting to go back with your ex. You are in actual fact simply using your current boyfriend. Put yourself in his shoes; it wouldn't ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I have to let him have sex online or he'll go out and cheat in the flesh!
Q. Is Cybersex cheating? My boyfriend (of 4 years) is part of some adult match maker sites and often talks dirty or indulges in cybersex with users of the site. He'd left open some of his messages on the computer that I saw and was not very happy w...
A. 9 September 2005: It depends on you both as a couple as to whether you may consider cybersex as something you can both work around and it depends on you as to whether you feel you can adjust to what he does.
My opinion? It is being unfaithful, unacceptable for many... (read in full...)
Why is another girl's g-string in my boyfriend's bed?
Q. I recently got back with my ex after a couple of years. I have only stayed at his house twice, but both times when I woke up in the morning (and he was in the shower) there was a g-string in his bed where he had been sleeping!! Now I do know tha...
A. 8 September 2005: It is a bit odd that there was a g-string in his bed on two occasions! Was it the same one?! Okay, yes it does seem like he could have put it there for a reason (normally it would be hidden and not on display unless he is really stupid!) but what is ... (read in full...)
Help - have problems controlling my sexual desires in public!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have problems controlling my sexual desires in public. I sometimes get an erection even when i am talking to a girl at work place. I look out for opportunities to flirt at work and try to build some sort of connection like ...
A. 8 September 2005: It is okay to flirt and be friendly but not to the point that it interferes with your life and work. Perhaps some girls won't take you too seriously because you are an irrepressible flirt.
Take a step back and think about your goals. Okay, you have... (read in full...)
Before I had friends and my own life, I was needy around him. Now I'm settled, how can I get him back?
Q. I hope someone can help. I recently moved from england to the US. I love to travel and wanted a change of scene but also wanted to be with an American man I had met 18 months before. He had agreed to me coming to stay with him for a while to see ...
A. 8 September 2005: I think you and your brother are right. Your brother is correct in saying that if this man had loved you, he would have stuck by you through thick and thin because he wanted to and because he wanted you to feel happy and settled. However, saying ... (read in full...)
I can't believe that I let my lie get this far!
Q. Please help! I have a huge dilemma! I am at risk of getting caught in a huge lie I told to my boyfriend (we are in a serious relationship). Background: I suspected my boyfriend had cheated on me and found a possibly incriminating text messa...
A. 7 September 2005: Okay, bite the bullet here and tell your boyfriend the truth. Yes, I know this is impossible (almost) and unbearable but you don't have much choice. Tell him you were worried about him and admit you looked at his mobile phone but that you didn't ... (read in full...)
I'm disturbed by my new boyfriend's daughter who just won't stop flashing!
Q. My new boyfriend has a 24year old daughter, who keeps flashing him. He tells me when she does and finds it hilarious, but I find it a bit disturbing. Once she called him into her bedroom and when he entered she was bent over butt naked! Another time ...
A. 6 September 2005: She could be trying to ger her father's attention in an inappropriate way and his somewhat blase attitude isn't very appropriate either.
I think you may need to talk to him about this and explain what you said in your letter to him. It isn't the ... (read in full...)
Vaginal wind problems?
Q. What happens to cause a vaginal wind (fanny fart) and what can you do to prevent this happening?...
A. 6 September 2005: Not a lot really but to not worry about it! It is natural and perfectly normal, air does and can get trapped inside the vagina particularly when having sex.
Relax, laugh about it and don't allow it to interfere with your sex life.
After all, som... (read in full...)
I' lost interest in sex with my wife after the baby was born...
Q. After my wife had a baby, I don't want to have sex with her. I don't know why....
A. 6 September 2005: Perhaps it is because your perception of her has changed from a sensual and exciting woman to a mother who has responsibilities. Don't worry too much, many men do go through this. Some men find their partners more beautiful when they are pregnant ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my fiancee what a slut I've been over the past few months?
Q. Ok so I feel like a total slut even asking this question but my guilt is tearing me apart....I have been with my fiance for almost two years and we are getting married next year...The last few months I have been cheating on him..six different times ...
A. 31 August 2005: It all depends on if you do understand why you did this and can be absolutely certain that it won't happen in the future. You need to be honest with yourself and work out why you did it, it is very important that you know so that you don't do it in ... (read in full...)
He found out I lied about the number of men I've had sex with!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and half. We just had a baby 2 mths ago and he recently found out that I lied about how many men I have been with in my past. He now wants nothing to do with me and we live together. How do I fix our ...
A. 31 August 2005: Perhaps you lied about the amount because you felt it was too many? It doesn't really matter, it is the past! Your partner should be mature enough to accept this very valid point. You are together now and you have the future to look forward to with ... (read in full...)
What do I say to the sexy girl at the library who keeps smiling at me?
Q. I go to my local library nearly every day. I love it, but when I see this girl(17-20 years old) so she's about five years older than me. The thing about her is that she is damn sexy. She gives me this really really weird smile. She has a boyfri...
A. 31 August 2005: It is time to learn something very early on in your life (I mean, you aren't mature just yet, are you? Lots to learn yet and plenty of time) Don't bother with a girl who already has a boyfriend unless you fancy creating a lot of hurt or you like the ... (read in full...)
Suddenly, I think I love a guy 10,000 miles away!
Q. I have a relationship with my boyfriend for 8 years now. Six years ago, I met a guy in another country of whom I found out he also really liked me a lot. We did not speak about these feelings when we saw each other. We chatted and e-mailed the last ...
A. 30 August 2005: What do you feel for your boyfriend exactly? What would you be giving up in order to be with someone else?
These questions you need to ask yourself.
It would be highly risky to 'follow your heart' on this one. It is very difficult to develop ... (read in full...)
Since breaking up I just can't get past the hurt, because I miss him so much...
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. We were pretty serious and were well on the way to getting married and planning. His work was away and well...it happened that he met another woman and came home and promptly broke with me for her. He has ...
A. 30 August 2005: I understand how bad you feel. There are some things in life we just can't control and that is the the problem. We may love someone but if they do happen to meet someone else then we are bound to feel crushed, devastated as you do.
You may not like... (read in full...)
I regret cheating on my boyfriend, but I just can't say "No"...
Q. Hi, I'm 20 and in a five year relationship with the best guy in the world. But recently I have been messing around with one guy I have become very attached to. It's been happening a few months. I love my boyfriend and am very happy in my ...
A. 30 August 2005: No, you can't just be friends with this guy, it just won't happen. Obviously, the sexual chemistry between you and him is too strong.
Dump him, today. Do not visit him again, just let him know by text or phone call. If you really are serious abou... (read in full...)
What can I do to get him to notice me?
Q. I'm in love with this boy and he doesn't notice me, even though I'm very pretty and very smart. What should I do?...
A. 30 August 2005: Talk to him to get him to notice you; that is really the most you can do unless you wish to get upon a table and execute a saucy dance just for his benefit!
Try talking to him so he can get to know you and you him. Bite the bullet and even ask him ... (read in full...)
I'm 22 years old and I want to be independant... but I don't want to move from my parents' home.
Q. Hi Everyone. I hope I do not sound rude, or ungrateful in saying this, but how do I tell my mother to get a life? I'm 22yrs of age, still living at home, and I would like to remain at home, and my folks wont allow me to leave without world war thre...
A. 29 August 2005: Your parents are concerned about your welfare because of the world that we live in but thankfully, as you say, not everyone is evil out there. Saying that, they don't want anything bad to happen to you because they love you and as a result, are ... (read in full...)
We went from serious to "friends" to him having a new girlfriend...
Q. Hi I went out with a guy for a week and it got very serious very quickly... He seemed to really like me, calling me beautiful and that he would be dreaming about me etc... then he told me on our econd date that he wanted me to be his friend.....
A. 29 August 2005: It seems that he does really like you but is very shy and frightened of getting hurt (this may have been why he suggested only being friends). He may not even have a new girlfriend and was just testing you out. He sounds very unsure of himself.
T... (read in full...)
She's never given me reason to think she'd cheat... so why am I so worried?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 and a half years. She has had to leave the city for 6 weeks for a course that she is doing and I am worried. She is living in a big house with lots of others (guys and girls)and although she has never ch...
A. 29 August 2005: Trust is a fragile thing, easily broken if it isn't nurtured and cared for. Possibly when your girlfriend kissed someone else in the early stages of your relationship, it set doubt in your mind. Perhaps you have experienced someone being unfaithful ... (read in full...)
I really like him and I want to ask him out...
Q. Hi, I am a teenage girl working with this lovely fella. I really like him. I get really nervous around him. I have never had a boyfriend before. He is way more experienced than me. I want to ask him out. ...
A. 29 August 2005: Start off by just getting to know him. Build up your confidence in his presence by talking with him in a friendly manner about anything and everything. Let him tell you what he likes doing and more than likely, he will ask about your interests.
S... (read in full...)
My husband ogles women who are physically different from me. Worst of all, he tells me about it!
Q. Dear Cupid: I have been married for 5 years. I have noticed in the recent past that my husband seems very attracted to tall skinny women. I am neither. I confronted him with this today asking him why he ogles at these women, there have been ...
A. 29 August 2005: 'ShouldImove' has hit the nail on the head about self-esteem. It is quite normal to look at the opposite sex but I think it becomes not acceptable when it is leering and even worse, takes place in front of you. This is disrespectful and it isn't ... (read in full...)
I know I say "I love you" too often! How do I fix it?
Q. I have been dating a wonderful girl for the past 3 months and when we're together we get on great. My problem is I really do care for her and I think I might love her but instead of not being able to say "I love you" at all I over compensate and say ...
A. 28 August 2005: Use actions instead to show that you love this girl.
By all means tell her how you feel but not quite so often and allow her sometimes to be the first one to say how she feels.
Explain to her that you are an expressive man which is why you have tol... (read in full...)
My girlfriend sent photos of her breasts to a guy on the internet. It's over, but I don't know what to say...
Q. My girlfriend is from another country who is poor. At the time we haven't gone out that long, and I found out she sent a picture of her breasts over the internet to a guy that likes her. He no longer can see her since he had to go back to the United ...
A. 28 August 2005: What you need to seriously consider is whether A) She is entirely trustworthy and B) whether she is also only using you for money. I mean, has her financial situation improved? If not, be concerned that she may try to fleece you too as she has ... (read in full...)
Falling for a friend. Thing is, I'm married and he's engaged...
Q. Dear cupid, I am 21. I am married and have a one year and 8 months old baby girl, but I think I'm fallin in love with an old friend that used to be in love with me. But now he's planning on getting married. what do I do? confused...
A. 28 August 2005: Think seriously about your marriage first and foremost. You are very young and perhaps you feel tied down with two children.
The guy that you are interested in is due to get married too which will make him committed to another person. I don't know... (read in full...)
Oral sex with a condom? How do I do it?
Q. I'm 18 and I've recently started dating an older guy (27) after breaking up with my boyfriend, John*. Me and John had a great sexual relationship and I felt really comfortable with him. I was sexually abused when I was younger and he made me feel ...
A. 26 August 2005: Really I would suggest that you request your boyfriend to get his herpes sorted out first before you do anything with him. Plus, he has been with a lot of women which is slightly off putting (I'm not saying you shouldn't be with him but if he has ... (read in full...)
Someone please tell me how to read the right signals!
Q. I am completely unable to read signals. I am blind to any signals a girl gives whether she likes me or not. I keep falling for girls who are just trying to be friendly, and keep missing those who actually like me. I just can't see it. Please ...
A. 26 August 2005: The ones that you have found out who actually like you, why don't you ask them out?
Body language sometimes can speak volumes. Girls tend to flick back their hair and glance at you kind of surreptiously when they like you. They may act shy when they... (read in full...)
A mystery woman is sending texts to my husband!
Q. My husband left his mobile at home while at work and a text message came through. I opened it in case it was urgent and found that it was someone asking him to call back. On looking at his other messages I found four more from the same number, ...
A. 26 August 2005: Um, that answer below? For health reasons, I hope you will ignore it!
Men don't stray because you aren't giving them oral sex! I wouldn't consider prostitutes to be a reliable source considering the men they go with aren't reliable either for tell... (read in full...)
It makes me unhappy to think that my boyfriend lost his virginity to someone other than me!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 7 months. I lost my virginity to him because I really do love him. He lost his to his ex who at one time he thought he really loved. But she broke up with him. It makes me sad... mad and even depressed ...
A. 26 August 2005: Many of us have pasts, some of us regret those pasts. The thing is, it is the past, it isn't the present and it isn't the future but the past can affect both of these if we let them.
You lost your virginity to your boyfriend but he had already lost... (read in full...)
How did my ex get over me so quickly?
Q. I'll try and be as brief as I can. There's a lot to explain. I have been a victim of long distance relationships in the past. For the first six months of being with my girlfriend, it was amazing. She went to university last September and I ...
A. 26 August 2005: The thing is,if you had loved her and wanted her, then there wouldn't have been a split; you could have worked on it together rather than apart. Obviously the communication channels weren't exactly open otherwise she wouldn't have assumed you were ... (read in full...)
If he really loves me, why is he telling me there's still time to go back to my old boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I have been going out with this guy named Jordan* for over 2 weeks. He have been acting really strange lately. When we are alone, sometimes he says that he don't deserve me. I ask why and he says he just don't. Before we were going out, I w...
A. 26 August 2005: It sounds to me as if 'Jordan' is very insecure and is worried about losing you; this may be why he says you could go back to your ex. He could be testing you just to see if you will and to see if he is going to get hurt.
I think all you can real... (read in full...)
With such a low opinion of himself, my boyfriend thinks I'm "better off" without him...
Q. I am 25 and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years, but we were friends for about 4 years previous to that. Last night he said he was unsure he wanted to stay with me anymore, and that I'd be better off on my own. I asked ...
A. 24 August 2005: I think I will introduce a different viewpoint to the previous responses as before I read those replies, this was what I first thought. I didn't consider that your boyfriend was looking for a way out at all from your relationship but that instead, ... (read in full...)
We both know that my weight gain is why we're not intimate...
Q. Since I met my boyfriend (7 yrs ago) I have gained forty pounds. More lately. I know that he is not finding me attractive at all because we would be physical in the past at least 3-4 times a week. Now it is more about once a month. It used to be ...
A. 24 August 2005: I think the fact that you feel you are fat and also that your sex life has diminished is all contributing to your lack of self esteem. Of course, you don't know for sure that he no longer finds you attractive as that type of conversation doesn't ... (read in full...)
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