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anonymous
writes: My sex drive is gone and I would like to get it back, for me and my husband. I like sex but never want to do it and at one time I like to do it all the time but since I've been with my husband it's been gone. I did go talk to a consulor and to be honset that did no good. It is something I can't change myself and need lots of help. Can you help me or do you have any suggestions on how to get it back??? It has been goon since I was 21 yrs. old and I'm 24 now and I should be at the high point in my life now. I would love to fix this 4 year problem for my marriage.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (1 February 2005):
 I think you firstly need to consider why your sex drive has diminished. Is is due to stresses at work? Perhaps not enough sleep? Is your relationship with your husband strained at all? It would be an idea to resolve any of these issues first to restore your sex drive. Do you feel well healthwise?You say you like sex so there is definirely hope! I think you may need to add a bit of spice to your sex life with your husband. Is he aware of your difficulties?How about booking a romantic time with him where you get dressed up in something you feel special in. Have a nice meal but don't put pressure on yourself to have sex. Cuddle a bit together. Be affectionate with each other. This is also very important in a relationship. Talk together and rexperience the closeness in your relationship.Tell your husband that your ultimate goal is for you both to have a normal sex life together again and that you are building up to it. Hopefully he will be romantic with you too. Do the things you used to do when you first got together, go for walks, give him love notes. Remind yourself what attracted you to him in the first place.Make love when you feel ready.Good luck.
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