His insensitivity about my feelings is ruining the great relationship we had!
Q. I'm wanting a bit of advice from other readers please ;0) I have a happy relationship with a wonderful man, we have 2 children together and I thought I had everything in the world. My partner moved 200 miles to live with me and since he moved he...
A. 4 July 2005: It seems to me that your husband is very disrespectful towards your feelings and emotions.
I wonder how he gets personally involved with his female customers? His leering at other women and running you down is indicative of a man who doesn't seem... (read in full...)
Ever since we kissed, I can't think of anything else but him!
Q. Last week I kissed this lad who I have always liked but didnt think he liked me in that way. Ever since that kiss all I can think about is him. Does this mean I'm in love with him? ...
A. 30 June 2005: One kiss doesn't necessarily mean love and you could just simply be infatuated with him. Only time will tell.
Under normal circumstances, love takes time to develop. It comes through getting to know and understand the other person and loving who ... (read in full...)
We have a real chemistry, but he also has issues with alcohol... Do I try to help him?
Q. I met a man over the internet and we had an instant chemistry from the start. We decided to meet and the meeting was incredible! True chemistry. Soulmates for sure. Problem is this. There is quite a distance of states between us and he has a ...
A. 30 June 2005: Why does he want you to walk out of his life? Has he told you? This is what you need to find out first. Is it entirely because he may be an alcoholic? There are obviously other things in his life or things that have happened in the past that have ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says he "loves" me, but he's not "in love with" me!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and 10 months. Two and half of these months has been long distance. Were about 5 hours apart. It has been hard but I believe in him so much and love him so much that I'm willing to do this long distance ...
A. 30 June 2005: Well, it sounds to me as if he is being quite cautious. He is taking things slowly and he is being honest with you which is certainly a good thing. At least you aren't being led up the garden path.
There is a possibility that he will be 'in love... (read in full...)
I was sexually inexperienced when we met, but it seems he's had more than his share of women...
Q. After a heart to heart with my boyfriend the other day he has confessed to me that he has slept with between 20-50 women, some while he has been in a relationship with other people. I was quite inexperienced when I met him, and am very insecure. ...
A. 30 June 2005: No, I don't think that it does. It is what happens now that is important.
If he wants a loving relationship with you and wishes to committ to you then I think it would be advisable to try to forget about his past.
Ask him for reassurance about wh... (read in full...)
I feel sexually unequal to my girlfriend, ever since I found out that she's slept with a lot of men...
Q. Hi this may seem strange. My girlfriend recently revealed to me that she has been with a large number of men and has had a large number of one night stands (between 20 and 30 of them - I didn't pry for too much info). I am having a truly hard tim...
A. 29 June 2005: 20 or 30 one night stands?! Crikey! Thats quite a lot but that could be my personal opinion creeping in, I've never had a one night stand in my life and wouldn't want one.
Everyone is different, some people think of sex as a sport but this isn'... (read in full...)
We do nothing but argue because I keep imagining he's cheating on me!
Q. My hubby and I have been together for 5 yrs, married 4 and we have always had a very good and open relationship. Lately I have lost all trust in him even though he has done nothing to start this. I feel like I am pushing him away because I keep t...
A. 27 June 2005: You are not going mad; you are torturing yourself needlessly. You are imagining these circumstances possibly because you are frightened of losing your husband. You need to start believing in him and in yourself.
Ask him to tell you once more that... (read in full...)
My ex gets thrown out and he comes to stay with me...
Q. My ex now lives with someone else. Since last year he has been back to me 3 times since he moved in with her & stays for over a week. He also comes up on other occasions (she claims she throws him out). I have told her what he's doing. She don't se...
A. 27 June 2005: He is using you and the situation to his advantage. You and his girlfriend are allowing him to get away with it.
Whatever you feel, tell him no more. He is not respecting you or her by doing this; you should not be taking him in. He has chosen to b... (read in full...)
I was too shy to ask her out, and now she's dating my mate!
Q. Hi, I have a problem and hope you can help. I have liked this girl for 3 years and I thought she liked me - ie the way she acts around me and her former best mate told me she did - and my folks must know this cause they always tease me about he...
A. 27 June 2005: Tell her again, but to her face this time.
I wouldn't normally suggest doing this as she is seeing someone else but if you just tell her that you really like her and that at least you wish to remain good friends with her. That way, she will know... (read in full...)
What seemed to me to be minor misjudgements sent her into a fury...
Q. Six months ago I met and fell in love with a lady with a sweet, gentle nature and a heart of gold. It wasn’t long before I was thinking that one day we might marry. (She’s been divorced a long time; I’ve never married)( we’re both in our 50s). ...
A. 27 June 2005: There certainly seems to be a deep seated issue here that she has and needs to be addressed. You are right in thinking she may benefit from counselling; a means of uncovering the reasons for her unpredictable and unjustified rages that causes so ... (read in full...)
I'm sick of his goatee, but he wants to keep it. Am I insane for missing his smooth face?
Q. Tell me if I'm insane. My husband has a goatee and I'm sick of it...I really miss his smooth face. I've asked him to shave but he becomes mad and refuses. It's been 9 months and now every time I look at him I just see this mean person who doesn't ...
A. 24 June 2005: I agree with the answer below. The more you obsess about his facial hair, the less likely he is going to want to shave it off!
He probably feels really put out that you are so concerned about how he looks. Why not tell him how gorgeous he is to you?... (read in full...)
I'm married and I love my husband...I just wish I could stop thinking of this other man!
Q. I am married but I have feelings for another man. I want to love my husband, but I still think about this other man. How can I keep my marriage? ...
A. 24 June 2005: You say you want to love your husband. Does this mean you have fallen out of love with him? Is this because you have feelings for another man?
If you really want to keep your marriage, you will have to work at it and have absolutely nothing to do w... (read in full...)
I know I was horrible to my ex, but I've changed! Can I get her back?
Q. Hi there. I have recently split up with my ex-partner. But I so want her back. Is there any way you think I can get her back after what I have done to her? I've told her I hate her. She's not fit to be a mother. Assaulted one of her male friends...
A. 23 June 2005: I think perhaps first of all you will have to understand why you did and said all those things to her. After all, if she did give you another chance, you wouldn't want to go and do it all again, would you?
It would also help to know what prom... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend even though I never have an orgasm during sex with him...
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 yrs now and I am very happy except for one thing, I can't have an orgasm. I was so happy with him that I just dealt with it. I told myself it's okay, you can handle this, he can please you in other ways... ...
A. 23 June 2005: Initially, you need to find out what gives you pleasure by exploring your own body and stimulating yourself. When you have discovered this, then you can go on to inform him of what really turns you on. Communication here really is the key to ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in her, and I want to win her over from our workmate...
Q. I have a friend who I have known for a while now and recently we have been hanging out a lot. As we started to hang out more I suddenly became very attracted to her and I really like her. Then, a guy from my work, who is 1 year older than both of ...
A. 22 June 2005: Well, I guess you could just come right out and tell her you like her and see what she says and does then?
What does your friend feel for her? Does he like her too in the way you do? Is he competition for her affections I wonder.
I shouldn'... (read in full...)
The sex is amazing, except my boyfriend sometimes goes too hard, or too fast...
Q. I just started dating this guy three months ago, and he's the first boyfriend I've had after ending a six-year relationship a little over a fifteen months ago. When I hooked up with him, I hadn't had sex in over a year--lots of life issues. ...
A. 22 June 2005: There is only one way to go about it, I'm afraid. You have to tell him how you feel and what turns you on.
Explain to him how much you love foreplay and that you also like rough sex too but in order for you to have an orgasm through inte... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting to my 47-year-old bf having cybersex with 18-year-old girls?
Q. My 47 year old boyfriend (I'm 48) is having cyber sex with 18 year olds. He and I recently just began living together about 6 weeks ago. He says it means nothing to him but could give no plausible answer as to why he's doing it. I told him someone ...
A. 22 June 2005: I whole heartedly agree with the answers here.
You deserve so much more than what your boy-friend is doing. You deserve respect, loyalty and love.
Wendyg's indignation on your behalf is how I feel. He is very much out of order and he doesn't ... (read in full...)
I found evidence of my boyfriend cheating online... but I can hardly complain. Thoughts?
Q. I accidentally found my bf's msn history on his computer, for some reason it was in his music folder..the conversations on there were all sexual. He sends some of the girls pictures and they send some in return. He talks on the phone with them, bu...
A. 21 June 2005: You say you 'definitely have a future together'. Sure you do, built on mistrust. Who can outdo the other?!
You've cheated on him, he chats to girls in a sexual way, sends them photos and God only knows what else. I'm sorry to say this, but you dese... (read in full...)
He's 20 and she's 13, but she's interested. What should she do?
Q. If a 13 year old girl like a 20 year old guy,and he smiles and stares at her,and she to afraid to talk to him, and she loves him, what should she do?...
A. 21 June 2005: What you are experiencing isn't love, although it may feel like it! It is a crush. You may be a very grown up 13 year old, you may look older than your age but you aren't quite ready yet for a proper relationship with a guy. I'm saying this because ... (read in full...)
My best friend and my boyfriend can't stand each other!
Q. Jealousy & competition I'm dating a wonderful man but my closest girlfriend does not get along with him & he doesn't like her either. When they first met, it was great, but over the past year, they've developed mutual conflict. They both accu...
A. 20 June 2005: Explain to them both that you don't want and will not choose between them, that you love them both.
Reassure them both that they need not compete for your attention, you care about both of them but receive different things from each rela... (read in full...)
When my husband admitted he'll always love his old g/f, it make me insecure...
Q. I asked my husband if he still loved his old girlfriend and he replied he will always love her but only in a caring way. This makes me feel insecure. Should I feel threatened and/or insecure that he will always love her? Thanks....
A. 20 June 2005: I think this does depend on what he really means, it sounds as if he meant that he will always care for her. That isn't the same as love. In some ways, he could love her but no longer be in love with her. I think this is what he meant to convey. He ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I have met, and we feel like we're ready to date, but our families say Wait...
Q. Hello everyone. My girlfriend and I met online almost a year ago. We already got to meet in person last March when I flew to her home state to visit her and again last week when she flew to see me. We get along very well and we love each other even ...
A. 20 June 2005: Moving in together is quite quick when you haven't really seen very much of each other. I think this is what your families are concerned about; the sudden committment.
Meeting someone online does pose some risks but it can certainly work too.
I thi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's friend is more my type, but I'm getting mixed signals from her...
Q. Have been seeing a girl for three months now. I do care for her, although there's not much physical attraction on my behalf towards her any more. To be honest, she's becoming very clingy towards me and I don't particularly want to take things ...
A. 19 June 2005: Okay, this is quite simple really. You shouldn't be with the girl you are with and you aren't being fair on her at all. You care about her but you aren't physically attracted to her and you fancy her friend! What a recipe for someone getting hurt!
I... (read in full...)
My dream guy seems to have a lot of not-too-innocent messages on his phone. Is he cheating?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together now for almost 20 months. When i first met him i was obsessed with him and i still am. I used to make myself be at the same places he was so we could talk but not in a stalker way. LOL. I finally got the chance ...
A. 19 June 2005: I think because you have been hurt before, you are naturally cautious. Unfortunately, you have put all your eggs on one basket and got really involved with someone without allowing yourself the time to properly heal as well as to have fun in your ... (read in full...)
Six months after their break-up, and a marriage and pregnancy later - my bf still wants his ex!
Q. Dear Cupid, My boyfriend and I have been together for about 5 months now. Recently we had the love discussion. He said that he felt as though he was falling in love with me and I told him that i already was. About 2 weeks later he suddenly anno...
A. 17 June 2005: I think your boyfriend may have got involved with you before he had fully recovered from his break up with his ex girlfriend.He didn't give himself sufficient time to come to terms with what she did and how he felt about her.
As a result of this... (read in full...)
My bf wanted to learn to satisfy women, so he started with our landlord!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years. I haven't ever been able to have an orgasm during sex. But, this has been the case for all of my life. I didn't think it was that big of a deal, but my BF did. He said that before w...
A. 16 June 2005: One of the fundamental rules in making a relationship work is being faithful no matter what.
Yes, I don't know about you being naive as you know what is going on but you are being far too accepting of what he is trying to do.
No matter how he dress... (read in full...)
He only ever sees me when he needs something, otherwise he's anxious to leave...
Q. Dear cupid, I have a boyfriend who claims to love me so much but seemingly he has something up his sleeve. He calls me only when he needs to see me and that is after months or so. When I call him, he gives excuses to hang up. I need your advic...
A. 16 June 2005: I think you are answering your own question here.
This guy is no good! He doesn't call you for months? What kind of relationship is that?
He is purely using you for when it is suitable for him to do so.
He could be married and what exactly do y... (read in full...)
I feel so lonely with my husband. There's no love, no sex and no affection...
Q. I have been married to my husband for 7 years. We have recently moved to the United States from England. I thought it would be a new beginning for us. My husband has always struggled to show affection which is something I need, he also is not i...
A. 16 June 2005: You are not getting what you need and what you deserve from this relationship and I am assuming that the arguments you are having are because of this.
Your husband does need to explore why he is unable to be demonstrative with you. You can't poss... (read in full...)
I cheated and now I'm pregnant. Don't know whether the baby is my boyfriend's or my one-night-stand's!
Q. Hi, my name is Rebecca. I have a huge problem that could wreck my life. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and we have been trying for a baby for the past 7 months. I went on holiday about 4 weeks ago and on my last ...
A. 14 June 2005: Okay, lets begin by asking you firstly, do you want a baby-forget for the moment that you aren't sure whose it may be? Answer that question first in your mind because if you do want a child (you were planning one prior to this) then you may be able ... (read in full...)
I like a co-worker, but it's hard to gauge his feelings because he's so shy!
Q. I really like this guy from work. We hardly get to talk to each other as we are from different departments. I tried to get him to talk to me by sending him a couple of work-related emails. He did talk to me those couple of times and also mailed me ...
A. 14 June 2005: Okay, so you have tentatively dipped your toe in the water and found it to be warm. I don't think you can gradually wade in on this one, I think you are just going to have to take the plunge!
Take the bull by the horns and ask him out! What do you ... (read in full...)
His kids get first claim for his attention, always! All I want is ten minutes alone...
Q. Hi, I've been in a relationship for over 2years now. My partner has 2 young children from his previous relationship. We have the children every 2nd weekend. My first problem is when the children are with us i feel I'm on the outer. During th...
A. 14 June 2005: To address the first issue, I think you probably already realise that it really is okay for your boyfriend to give his kids 100% attention at the weekends that he has them. Yes, it would be nice if he did give you some time too but as he only has ... (read in full...)
We're attracted to each other, but she's put up emotional barriers that are hard to overcome!
Q. I am very attracted to a 31 year old female both emotionally and physically. I am a 44 year old female. We have hung out several times together. We have only known each other for 5 months. We have told each other that we are attracted to one ...
A. 10 June 2005: I think that in order for these protective walls to come down, your friend needs a bit of help. It does seem that what has happened to her in the past has made her this way but in order for her to be happy, she will eventually have to let someone ... (read in full...)
Can I trust him not to betray me again by masturbating to porn?
Q. I recently found out that my boyfriend looked at porn and masturbated. He said he wanted to stop for me because every time he did it he felt like he was betraying me. This has me so worried because if he felt like he was betraying me and couldnt ...
A. 10 June 2005: I'm always going to disagree here because I feel that if a man is masturbating over porn, then realistically speaking, he is fantasising about having sex with that woman in the photo. In the same way that if a woman is masturbating and using a ... (read in full...)
Why does he say he "doesn't deserve" me? Is he going to drop me?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for about 4 years now and I know that I love him, as more than a friend. Recently we have crossed the line and have slept together twice. He says that he doesn't deserve me, but I think he is trying to blow me off. ...
A. 10 June 2005: Find out exactly what is causing him to have such low confidence in himself to think he doesn't deserve you.
He says he likes you more than a friend and you do him which is probably why you have now slept together.
Unfortunately, while he may be t... (read in full...)
I'm suspicious of everyone, because I'm so afraid of getting hurt!
Q. I am so messed up in the head. I just don't know the difference between what's right and wrong or what's the truth or a lie. I don't even know if I can trust my good mates. I am always so suspicious around everyone. I just can't help it cause I am ...
A. 10 June 2005: My guess is that you may have been really hurt in the past and this is why you are having difficulty trusting anyone. You don't want to be let down and you are protecting yourself. However, the down side to this is that you are pushing away people ... (read in full...)
Recently, he asked if we could have an open relationship and if he could sleep with our new flatmate...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months next week and living together for 8 months. Over the last few weeks he has been hot and cold and recently asked if he could sleep with our new flatmate or have an open relationship. I was hurt as ...
A. 10 June 2005: A permanent break seems to spring to mind, really.
How do you feel about the prospect of an open relationship? How do you feel about him sleeping with someone else? I mean, if you are okay about this and would even consider sleeping with some... (read in full...)
I'm desperately embarrassed by my mum's weight and vulgar habits...
Q. I'm not sure if anyone will be able to help with this but here we go.... The problem is that I cant stop being rude or short tempered with my mum. I know it's shallow but it's because she's obese. The doctor has told her she needs to dramatically ...
A. 6 June 2005: I think the 'Devil's Advocate'(below) went on one a bit there and rather missed the valid point that I will attempt to explain here. Your mother desperately needs to lose weight for herself, not for you or your father but for her own health. You say ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend walked away from me and his unborn son. How could he do that?
Q. I'm 6 months pregnant and my partner recently left me. He wants nothing to do with me or his unborn son. He already has a daughter. How can he do this? The pain is ripping me to bits and I don't know what to do. Please can you help me? We were tog...
A. 2 June 2005: It could be that the thought of the sudden responsibility of fatherhood took his breath away so he basically ran away. However, you say he has a daughter. I wonder if he is a responsible parent to her? You can claim child support to help you fina... (read in full...)
He never stops ogling other women!
Q. My husband is constantly looking at other women. He has been totally faithful to me but his incessant ogling is really upsetting. He does it in the car, grocery store, everytwhere we go. Is there anything to be done about this?...
A. 2 June 2005: It should be reassuring that he is faithful to you. He obviously just has a roving eye. You could try ogling men in return and even make comments about how delicious they are! You could also look at the women he is staring at and comment on their... (read in full...)
I'm worried that I might just be a "substitute" for my boyfriend's ex-partner!
Q. I am moving in my my boyfriend in 2 weeks, I have 2 children from a previous relationship and he also has 2 children that live with their mother. Until today I had never even considered that he might still have feelings for his ex but it dawned on ...
A. 2 June 2005: Find out exactly what he is feeling and thinking before you make the move. Explain to him that you feel somewhat uncomfortable when he talks about his ex girlfriend. Explain that you don't wish to be a substitute for her and that you are worried ... (read in full...)
Did my boyfriend leave me because our relationship was too intense?
Q. Do rebounds ever last?...My now ex bf of 2 years (Age 22) who I lived with, left me (age 19), 3 months ago for another girl who is only 17. He seemed to go out with her almost immediately, but I can't understand how emotionally he can move on so ...
A. 2 June 2005: It could have been the case that things were too intense for him and that's why he left and went with someone else. However, it also suggests that he hasn't matured emotionally. From that point of view, you are better off without him. It probably... (read in full...)
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