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anonymous
writes: Dear CupidI am currently going out with a woman of 34years old coming up on almost a year now. we broke up at the end of October last year and I contacted her again in December.The reason I broke up was that I didnt believe that she loved me. When on holiday one day she refused to take my hand and didnt talk to me on the last day. When I asked her what that was about she said that I was eating too much ice-cream and getting too fat. I asked her again recently and she said that she wasnt in the habit of having her hand held as her previous boyfriends didnt do that. She also told me to get rid of a pair of white summer shoes and a red shirt.She is living in a kippy old bedsit and wants desperately to move out. But she also wants me to join her and live together. I have a nice studio flat but she doesnt want to move in with me.In the early stages I was crazy about her but I guess to be honest my view is slightly changed. I dont know whether to trust her or not. If i havent seent her for say a week my heart still sinks - she makes me smile. She always meets me half way with regard to finance etc - that's not a problem but sometimes I pay in full if we are out for a night.What can I do? There is also another problem - I told my family about her and they advised to forget about her. I feel it could be a chance I am throwing away. What do you think?
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (9 February 2005):
 White summer shoes and a red shirt? Eating too much ice cream? Not holding hands? I wander what is important to this lady and if she would be prepared to meet you half way in a proper committed relationship. Have you asked her if she loved you? Have you asked her what she wants out of a relationship with you?She sounds very independent and there is nothing wrong with that but what role do you play in her life?You care about her deeply and you don't want to throw away the potential for a good relationship but you need to find out if it could be a good relationship.Sit her down and discuss with her exactly what she wants and how she feels for you and whether you can trust her. At the end of the day, if you want to be with her, then eventually your family will need to come to accept that.Good luck.
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