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*inktopaz

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*inktopaz's profile:

I'm 29 and born and raised in California.

I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!

I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.

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He's leaving me to stay with his ex and his children!

Q.   I'm having a very hard time...just yesterday, the guy I've been in a relationship with for a year told me he couldn't do it anymore because he hurt too much from not seeing his children. We've been living together for a while now, he recently told ...

A.   13 April 2012: My bestfriend went through this EXACT situation a few years ago. He loved her, but didn't love his wife but he couldn't do it because he couldn't deal with not being able to see his kids everyday. Well probably within about a year they ended up... (read in full...)

How should I dress for this new job?

Q.   So I start my new job in a few days and you think i would be nervous about the job or that and i'm meeting a new group of people who i'll be working with for the next month. But instead i'm more worried about my outfit! I want to make a great ...

A.   12 April 2012: I don't think it's a big deal if you wear heels--if it's more business casual attire, then you're okay. You would look funny if you showed up in a suit--but heels look nice. However, you mentioned retail and you're talking about tv's, phones, ... (read in full...)

Are women losing their skills in "traditional" roles?

Q.   Are women losing skills in roles they traditionally did like cooking and housekeeping? If so, what skills are they gaining instead? Let me first say that I love my wife, but I was shocked at how little she is able to do. She is an excellent ...

A.   12 April 2012: I kind of blame parents--mine really didn't teach me anything. I think my dad did more than my mom. I can mow a lawn but I can't iron for crap! My mom thought it was easier if the kids just kept out of the kitchen and out of her way, hence why me ... (read in full...)

Why do some girls look hot smoking and others don't?

Q.   Why is it some girls can look sexy when they smoke and others just look chavvy and it's a turn off? When i'm out I see girls smoking all the time, but I don't like smokers I find them disgusting (the smoking). And it makes even the most beautiful ...

A.   12 April 2012: Honestly, how would any of us know?... (read in full...)

He doesn't want me for anything other than sex. How do I end things gently?

Q.   Hi everyone I really need help with this situation I have been sleeping with a man for over a year now I really like him he told me we were just taking things slowly but now I finally aksed him what was going on with us he said it is just sex so I ...

A.   9 April 2012: Why do you still want to be in contact with him? For the occassional hookup? Look, if you want to end things with someone, gently or not gently he may not want to keep in contact with you. And if he only wants to have sex with you, then I really ... (read in full...)

How do you end things when the other person is ignoring you?

Q.   Last August my boyfriend of 5 years just uppin left me .. 3 days later I got a text message saying he was moving out and we were done. Then 3 days after that he was seen with a new girl at work. That ended about a month later. And we started talking ...

A.   9 April 2012: Don't you just love stonewallers? People that do that are the worst ever and seriously, ignoring someone like they don't exist is such BS. Obviously, I'm bitter about it happening to me before lol. Anyhow, I know you want to give your boyfrien... (read in full...)

Men & Women: How long have you gone without sex?

Q.   How long have you gone without sex with another person? ...

A.   9 April 2012: Since parting with my virginity about 12-years ago, I think the longest I've gone is 6-8 months...can't quite remember anymore.... (read in full...)

My wife got in touch with her first sex partner and sent him a pic of her's in a bikini

Q.   My wife and I have been together for 6 years, married for 4 years. My wife has been with between 60 and 70 men between the age of 18 and 30. She had one 3 year relationship during that time. About 90% of her past sexual experiences were just ...

A.   4 April 2012: With all due respect and I'm not really trying to be funny or insulting, but have you ever heard, "You can't make a ho a housewife"? She honestly sounds like my best friend. She's had probably about as many sex partners as your wife but she tends ... (read in full...)

He's 21 years older than me, I'm 7 years older than his son. Can it work?

Q.   Im straight out of college and 22. I have started working a law firm as a secretary, there are two partners. I am a secretary for only one. A few months ago a partner asked me to dinner I turned him down and he asked a few more times but I kept ...

A.   3 April 2012: Honestly, people will notice the age gap. Of course they will have their judgements about it, does it really matter what they think? No. BUT, I'm 28 and I've been seeing someone a little over a year that's 42. We have a 14-year age gap and it's ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's dad is creating problems in our relationship and shows no signs of moving out

Q.   My boyfriends and I have been together 3 years in July. We got a house together almost 2 years ago and I love him very much BUT his dad moved in with us when he started going through a divorce almost a year ago. At first he refused- said he ...

A.   3 April 2012: Yeah, sounds to me then that his dad is just careless about what you want. Since you've already tried to talk to his dad yourself, your boyfriend needs to man up and deal with his dad because it's extremely unfair to you. ... (read in full...)

Seeing married man on the fly, does he have feelings for me?

Q.   I have really good friend who is married , he's been with this girl 10 years , they split up befour annd we were secretly seeing each other for a few weeks . Over the past few weeks we have been kissing at the weekends when we have a drink in us but ...

A.   2 April 2012: I don't think it means he has feelings for you, it means he's having fun with you.... (read in full...)

Why can I not move on? What is the matter with me?

Q.   I had a 5 year on and off relationship with my exboyfriend as he was seeing other women. I confronted him with evidence 4 months ago. I walked out for good. He send me email saying that his flat feels big, cold and empty without me. I sent hi...

A.   2 April 2012: Well it's only been 4-months and you had a 5-year relationship with him, it would be unreasonable to think you would be completely over him by now, even if he is a liar and a cheater. Simply, there's nothing wrong with you. It's normal. Getting ... (read in full...)

How do I go about being more confident to be the dominant one in bondage?

Q.   I'm the same person who asked about a guy wanting YOU to tie HIM up, or whatever the question was titled... And now I want to know how I can get more confident to tie him up and do stuff with him, since I'm not a confident or outgoing person....

A.   2 April 2012: OP, in these situations there is a dominant and a submissive partner. If two people are submissive, then this isn't going to work and you're not going to enjoy it because you're not that type of person that is really going to be comfortable with ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's dad is creating problems in our relationship and shows no signs of moving out

Q.   My boyfriends and I have been together 3 years in July. We got a house together almost 2 years ago and I love him very much BUT his dad moved in with us when he started going through a divorce almost a year ago. At first he refused- said he ...

A.   31 March 2012: Maybe you should try talking to your bf's dad. In a calm adult manner. Don't barrage him with "you do this and you do that." Try to let him know how it makes you feel when he does such and such and you would appreciate it if he could help around ... (read in full...)

Is wearing a sheer or see thru bathing suit OK?

Q.   My boyfriend (of many years) asked me to remove the lining from a couple of my bikini's, so that when we go to the beach they will be see through. I did this to one of my darker suits, the results being not too dramatic. More noticible on top, but ...

A.   29 March 2012: I agree with a nudist beach, not that you have to get nude because there are people that go there that aren't nude, but there will be just adults there that are going to be seeing people in the buff. Myself, I wouldn't be offended, but if I was ... (read in full...)

I've got a crush on an actor! Please help?

Q.   Firstly, please take this question seriously, because it is really bothering me. I just don't want people to think I'm some whiney child or something. Basically, I have really strong feelings for this nineteen year old actor. He is fairly famous a...

A.   26 March 2012: It's not necessarily stupid, but a little immature for your age. I remember going through these crazy obsessions with male celebrities up until about 15 or 16. Then one day I realized that it's never going to happen and I should focus on real ... (read in full...)

Why was she so friendly that night and the next day so withdrawn?

Q.   Thanks for taking the time to read and respond to my post... I recently started talking to a girl through facebook, she's 17 and I'm 20 it's always been innocent conversation as she's a good laugh and what not. On Friday night, she ended up ...

A.   26 March 2012: If she met you at a pub, was she drinking too? I don't know the drinking age limits where you're at. Anyhow, if she was, she could have been hungover. Seems too simple but I've given people (even guys I liked) short answers because I felt like ... (read in full...)

I told the guy I'm dating I want to be with him and no response yet.

Q.   Guys or ladies, I would loooove some advice please! I have been casually dating a guy long distance now for bout 5 minths now known him for a year. He lives in kentucky I stay in california. Seeing each other is never a problem we take turns flying ...

A.   26 March 2012: I think you may be thinking into this too much and like anonymous said, it doesn't necessarily require a response. But, I get what you mean. You were expecting something along the lines of, "That's great! Happy you made the decision to come to ... (read in full...)

Do you shave your "part" before you have sex?

Q.   I asked my friend if you should shave your "part" before you have sex and she didn't know. So Im asking this site,do men like it unsaved, or shaved? I got a boyfriend and I need some advice here before we get more intense....

A.   1 March 2012: Shaving sucks, it gets itchy and almost sore when growing back. So if you're worried then trim, but with a trimmer and not scissors. I would suggest waxing, but I think you're too young for that. A lot of men tend to like no hair "there" but it's ... (read in full...)

Does temperature affect the size of your fingers?

Q.   Just a quick little question thing. I tried on my mates ring because he told me it was too big for his middle finger which is the one it was meant for so he wore it on his thumb and he told me to put it on to prove a point that it was just too big ...

A.   1 March 2012: If it's cold, yes your fingers tend to shrink down. If it's warm, your fingers will expand a bit.... (read in full...)

I cant go to senior prom with my G/f because of the age limit and so her ex is taking her but I know he still has feelings for her. I don't trust this guy and I don't know what to do

Q.   hi agony aunts, i am in a relationship with an 18 year old girl. I am 22. the problem is that her senior prom is coming up, and we can't go together because her school has a stupid age limit, you can't go if you're over 21. so anyway, a gu...

A.   23 February 2012: Well what she could possibly be thinking: she wants to go to prom but is embarrassed to go stag so she's going with him so she doesn't feel awkward not having a date. Personally, I think she should respect having a boyfriend and wanting to exper... (read in full...)

Why would she do all this texting, Christmas present, chatting, etc when I have been avoiding her and not returning the same to her?

Q.   I was dating a girl from work for about 8 months last year, but finished with her in December. The relationship was an emotional rollercoaster to say the least, but the last straw for me was receiving a text from her saying she was going on holiday ...

A.   21 February 2012: Sounds to me that at first she was either playing games or wasn't sure what she wanted. Then when you ended it, she flipped and realized what she needed to do. Maybe it's too little too late, but she's making the effort now that she didn't before. ... (read in full...)

I wanted to marry my girlfriend and now I don't. Now what?

Q.   This year will mark the 10 year anniversary of me meeting my girlfriend. Early in the relationship we talked of marriage, but neither of us really believed in it and we were trying to establish our careers - moving around and generally unstab...

A.   17 February 2012: Well it would be helpful if you explained what she did to betray your trust. A lot of the time, people will think that something that happened to them is way "bigger" than it really was. So it may help to get some opinions as to whether or not ... (read in full...)

I have fallen desperately for my ob-gyn

Q.   Hi I am 37 and gave birth to my second child by Cesarean Section 7 weeks ago. Ever since I came back home from the hospital, I have fallen desperately for my ob-gyn. I spend all the time thinking about him, dreaming about him and imagining myself w...

A.   12 February 2012: I honestly think it might just be your hormones. I decided to go off birth control one month and I was thinking nonstop about a coworker of mine. I always thought he was cute and nice but he's married and I never had any sort of "romantic" ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my mum I caught my dad in an compromising position?

Q.   Last night, I was at a festival with my dad, 2 sisters and some friends. everything was going fine apart from having a few stomach cramps but i noticed something. My dad had his arm around a woman other than my mum. I knew the woman to be a nun who ...

A.   6 February 2012: Well this may be completely different than what you're expecting and others may disagree, but as someone whose parents split up recently over infidelity--you should stay out of it as much as possible. I know it hurts. And what your dad did to y... (read in full...)

He says she's his soul mate. Do I go through with the divorce or wait?

Q.   My husband left my and the kids for his mistress. he met her online. She is 1400 miles away. He's been 1 1/2months. He tells me he loves her and she makes him happy but he still loves me. That he's just not in love with me. Not to mention ...

A.   4 February 2012: Forget if you love him--do you know how many people stay with stupid people because they "love them"? Too many of them. And then they're miserable and wish they would have left that person sooner. Your husband is a selfish jerk and cares only ... (read in full...)

Do I have the right to ask to see my boyfriend's check stubs?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been living together for 6 months and in the beginning he was not employed. The agreement was that he would pay me XX amount of dollars until he went back to work. After he got a new job, then we would revisit the money ...

A.   2 February 2012: Being that he's been unemployed, he may need to catch up on other financial obligations. When I lost my job, I was behind for a LONG time and no one understood why I never had money to go out and have fun with--I was still poor! I was behind in ... (read in full...)

My Mexican neighbors have made life hell for us. Do I just suck it up and ignore them as I have been doing, or do I stand up and nag them back?

Q.   Hey, this isn't really much of a relationship question but I don't know where to ask this. I really dislike confrontation and it makes me nervous because I start getting so angry I start crying and it's unstoppable. I live in an apartment. I...

A.   2 February 2012: Well they terrorize you either way, so I still think you should stand up for yourself. They know they can push you around so they keep doing it and get away with it. Have you ever just tried talking to them? Or does it end up turning into an ... (read in full...)

She said he's not racist anymore, but I just feel very uncomfortable. Am I over-reacting or not?

Q.   So I have a situation that has been really bothering me and I need some help because I dunno if I'm overreacting or am I right for being upset.. ok so I'm living in a house with my boyfriend and two other roomates. Its been going ok, but now my room...

A.   9 January 2012: No! People do change and he could have been young and stupid and ran with some Neo-Nazi crew. But I don't think you are overreacting, but I do think your roommate should be a little more sensitive about it and I think your boyfriend would ... (read in full...)

Do you think I should text him again?

Q.   I and my crush were texting each other before, just having normal conversation. But one day i texted him and he said "who is this" and i was like "its cailyn i thought you saved my number" and he didn't text me back. We didn't talk in class th...

A.   28 December 2011: No, he's not shy. Sure, he probably thinks about you sometimes. No, you shouldn't text him. He has your number and he can text you if he wants to talk to you. It's odd that you texted before and then suddenly he doesn't know who's texting him ... (read in full...)

I haven't heard from him for 2 days!

Q.   Hi, I met a very sweet guy online who I really got on well with. Due to him working abroad we spoke almost everyday for around 2 months before we met. We had our first date just before Christmas and I thought it went really well, we have lots in ...

A.   27 December 2011: Relax. Now that you two met and it's more "real" guys will still play it cool. He's expressed interest, it's the holidays, so just chill out. If you don't hear from him in a week then give him a ring, but a week of no contact is not the best sign ... (read in full...)

Advice for responding to this text?

Q.   Merry Christmas all! I met a girl on the train the other day and, although incredibly unlike me, I started talking to her and asked for her number and if she wanted to go for a drink. She gave it to me and then immediately started texting me when ...

A.   27 December 2011: I think she's playing games or has something going on on the side. She started texting you after exchanging humbers--that shows some interest. Set a date to have a drink, "Hey do you want to go get a drink on Thursday?" or whatever day you want. ... (read in full...)

Everytime I tru to end the relationship, he tells me "I don't know what may happen in the future."

Q.   My boyfriend of 14 months lives with his girlfriend of 4yrs... Everytime I try to end the relationship he tells me i don't know what may happen in the future. What should i do?...

A.   26 December 2011: He lives with his girlfriend...? He sounds like a keeper!!! Stay with it, it sounds like you're happy. C'mon, 36-40 age group, you know what to do.... (read in full...)

My coworker who I'm interested in, called me "buddy" while texting. What could this mean? Are we in the friend zone?

Q.   I have not been single for a while. I was in a three year relationship in which in the end I ended up really hurt. I've been single for a couple months and it has been tough. But knowing guys still take an interest in me feels pretty good. I am not ...

A.   26 December 2011: You're not looking for anything but you're worried about being the in the friend zone? That makes no sense. Obviously, you're looking to be more than or friend or liked by him as more than a friend. You hardly see each other but he texts yo... (read in full...)

I'm 19, he's 33 - can it work? Opinions please.

Q.   Hello, I am 19, and have only had one other relationship with a boy who was 21. He was a kind person and a good first boyfriend, but he didn't want anything serious and was more interested in going to the bars all night with his friends (somethi...

A.   26 December 2011: It could wind up being an issue. I'm dating someone and we have the same age gap, he's 42 and I'm about to be 28 in a couple weeks. He's actually more concerned about our age difference than I am. Mainly because of life experiences etc. He's had ... (read in full...)

I flipped out on my boyfriend...He's separated, has 3 kids, and not enough time for me

Q.   so ive been involved with my boyfriend for 9 months (hes 40 and i am 29)....i care about him so much but sometimes things are so hard.. he is separated and has three young children who always come first as i know they should. a big part of the stru...

A.   24 December 2011: Sometimes you need to accept the fact that someone just isn't right for you. I'm guessing you don't have children of your own? Is he and his wife just not living together anymore or are they legally separated? Why are they separated? How long ... (read in full...)

My younger brother has NO concept of money!

Q.   Dear aunts and uncles, I really need your help. I'm here because I'm completely out of ideas regarding my younger brother and his spending habits. His last text to me ("I spent $200 on dinner last night") was the final straw. He is 21 and still in ...

A.   23 December 2011: Sometimes the baby of the family can practically get away with murder. My sisters (especially my middle sister) would get upset that my parents would let me do whatever I want, weren't as strict with me, and my dad helps me a lot more. The reason ... (read in full...)

My b/f's ex calls every month to remind his to pay his support and its stressing us out!

Q.   My boyfriend pays his child maintenance on the first of every month and he has never defaulted, pays the full amount plus extras, but the ex phones him first thing in the morning every single first day of the month, every month without fail to tell ...

A.   23 December 2011: Has he every considered telling her that she doesn't need to call him every morning that the money is due to remind him? I'm not sure how long you've been with him, and we don't know him. But maybe before in their relationship he wasn't very goo... (read in full...)

I suspect she's dating someone else

Q.   Hello people! Recently I started talking a lot with this girl I met through one of my friends. We have been together a lot and we hung out 2-3 times a week. I told her that I was interested in dating her because I liked her and would like to fi...

A.   23 December 2011: I agree with the others, it's time to start looking elsewhere. You're not her boyfriend, so she's not obligated to dating only you--like men, many women will still keep their options open as well, especially if they're not sure anything is going to ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't want to talk to me about problems because it reminds him of his ex

Q.   Hi Aunts, I was talking to my boyfriend of 2 and a bit years about a problem I was having with my Dad. He said he didn't want to talk about it, and it took me a while to work out why. First I thought it was something I had done, but I managed to...

A.   23 December 2011: No, I don't think you're wrong. If you're having issues with your dad, you should be able to speak with him about it--you're not his ex. It's pretty rude and selfish of him to not want to hear your problems because it reminds him of his ex. He ... (read in full...)

She's on birth control, but the condom slipped... Should we be worried?

Q.   My fiance and I were having sex yesterday. We used a condom, but when I came, it started to slide off. It had slid almost halfway off by the time I pulled out. We're worried that some may have come out of the top and gotten inside her. She takes ...

A.   23 December 2011: No, if she takes BC everyday like she's supposed to, you shouldn't worry. In very rare cases, some women still conceive. I've always taken BC correctly and have never become pregnant, and that was while not being careful at all.... (read in full...)

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