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My ex didn't wish me a happy birthday and it really hurts me!

Tagged as: The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 December 2011) 9 Answers - (Newest, 18 December 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, *pendy writes:

Why do I feel so upset about this? am I overreacting?

So is my birthday today and my ex boyfriend didn't even wish me a happy birthday.

He dumped me saying he didn't want a relationship. But I found out he lied and cheated on me.

On his birthday I rang him to wish him a happy.

I loved him so much. and I thought he loved me too. He said he wants us to be friends but I said he doesn't deserve my friendship.

Why am I so upset he didn't wish me happy birthday? I put it up on my status that is my birthday so he's aware.

But he still didn't wish me it. Why:(

View related questions: cheated on me, my ex

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy + , writes (18 December 2011):

CindyCares agony auntWhy should he have wished you happy birthday ??

He is your EX. He does not want to stay friends. He is out of your life. The sooner you realize that ( and btw if he was a cheater it's for the best ! )the sooner you'll recover from this disappointment and the sooner you'll move on.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (18 December 2011):

Ciar agony auntYou broke up with him (rightly so) and said you didn't want friendship, so why should he contact you at all? I don't think you should have wished him a happy birthday either. Nor do I think you should have him on Facebook.

Close this chapter. You're better off with him out of your life so cut him out of it.

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A female reader, Starlights United Kingdom +, writes (18 December 2011):

Starlights agony auntHappy belated birthday!!!

Let your ex go he clearly does not have you on his mind. It is hard but there is not point holding out for him to wish you he's clearly moved on.

Your still in love with him and although its difficult you have to find a way to get through this, seek comfort in close friends and/or supportive family.

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A female reader, pinktopaz United States +, writes (18 December 2011):

Umm you told him you didn't want to have a friendship with him--so that's probably why he didn't bother to wish you a happy birthday.

I'm assuming you two broke up fairly recently? He didn't have enough respect for you before and cheated on you, so it's really not surprising that he wouldn't wish you a happy birthday. When you've been involved with a guy like that, it's best to just try and get them out of your life asap. Do that, and next year you will not care at all if he wishes you a happy birthday!

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A female reader, mystiquek United States + , writes (17 December 2011):

mystiquek agony auntFirst of all, happy birthday! It really does hurt to think that someone who once claimed to love us and wants to still be friends can't take 5 minutes out of their day to call or email or text on your important day...but sadly, that's the way that it is.

TasteofIndia gave a wonderful answer...although it hurts right now..look at it like your ex gave you a gift...he showed you his true colors, and you're free of him. Don't let him get your down sweetie..he's not worth the pain or even another thought! You were kind and he's a jerk and you are much better off without him. Go out and celebrate with your family/friends, buy yourself something nice and thank your lucky stars that you didn't marry him. You deserve better than a liar and a cheater.

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A female reader, thinkb4 Papua New Guinea +, writes (17 December 2011):

You are upset because he is still in your heart and you are nowhere near over him yet. It is still phase one (unless you get back). It will eventually get better, however impossible it feels for you right now.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (17 December 2011):

TasteofIndia agony auntHow about this? Your birthday gift is that he didn't say happy birthday and you got confirmation that he really is the lousy scumbag that you are free from! He doesn't deserve your friendship, and you don't deserve to be emotionally tormented by this guy. He is winning, girl!! He is controlling you, manipulating and playing with you. Not actively... but you're letting him, by letting him hurt you this much. Don't let him have this much control over your feelings and happiness!

He's a liar, a cheat and certainly no friend of yours. Your birthday gift is knowing that you are liberated from that jerk!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011):

HE IS AN EX. He doesnt owe you a thing. He was a cheater and liar, selfish.

Why are you doing this whole drama/victim thing?

You shouldnt have wished him a happy bday. Hes an Ex. And because you did the 'thoughtful' thing he should return the favour?

He doesn't care!

So you are wounding over what? Because you told him you didn't want his friendship?



Then get over it. Heal, recover.

This guy, was not worth your time, energy, love, friendship. So SHOW IT, LIVE IT.

Block, Delete, Ignore.

Have a Happy New Years with your New found Dating Status. A time to explore yourself, spoil yourself.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2011):

"he said he wants us to be friends but I said he didn't deserve my friendship."

He's respecting your decision that you don't want to be friends. A stranger, someone you're not friends with, wouldn't wish you a happy birthday.

If you wanted contact with him maybe telling him he didn't deserve your friendship wasn't the best move.

Move on with your life and find someone who will treat you right in your relationship

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