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... Send *inktopaz a private message | | | *inktopaz's profile:I'm 29 and born and raised in California.
I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!
I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.
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Dumped on my birthday and I have no idea why!
Q. Am feeling pretty fragile at the moment and in a state of shock and am hoping someone will offer me some advice. Have been in a relationship for the last 6 years and without warning and without any clues I have been dumped a few days ago. My partner ...
A. 1 September 2012: It's only been 3-months! I don't think I've EVER been over someone in 3-months that I really loved and had a LTR with. It's normal and it sucks, in another 3-months you'll probably be a little better.
BUT I do want to applaud you for losing w... (read in full...)
Is it possible for him to die from blood clots in his lungs and 5 broken ribs?
Q. I know this is not a relationship question but I appreciate anyone who takes the time to help. This is about my husband's friend; we'll call him "Panda" to keep his name anonymous. Panda is 35 years old, has a wife and 3 children. Se...
A. 12 August 2012: Blood clots in his lungs: Yes, that's pretty serious. He needs to not move around much at all. I had a friend in high school die from a blood clot in her lung that no one knew about after a car accident.
Broken Ribs: People get broken ribs all... (read in full...)
I need to lose weight but I cant afford the gym
Q. Me and my partner of six years have recently split up it was both our choice. And I knew the years I have been with him I had put on weight slowly but yesturday I stepped on the scales and the number I saw was shocking! 15 stone, I felt like crying. ...
A. 11 August 2012: Like misfitschik suggested--counting your calories works and you can pretty much eat what you want, but in limited quantities of course. I lost weight also by counting calories. What worked for me was downloading a calorie tracker app onto my ... (read in full...)
My mom is dating a guy a little older than me. Do I need to step in?
Q. My mom who is in her mid 40s is in a relationship with a guy who is apparently in his early 20s. Their relationship is merely based on sex from what I can tell. She wears low cut tops and short shorts when she hangs out with him. i moved out of the ...
A. 4 August 2012: No, you shouldn't interfere. It's your mom's business and although how she's acting is "weird" to you, which I can understand because she's not acting how you think a mom should act--it's her deal. You don't need to save her, I'm sure she knows ... (read in full...)
Does education matter in relationships?
Q. Does education matter in relationships? The guy I like is a successful store manager but he only went to community college. I'm completing the last year of my business BA. I like him for who he and I'm proud of who he is. But I'm worried that if I ...
A. 3 August 2012: Being a store manager means he's not a professional?
Yes, education matters if you have a college degree and you're with a high school drop out.
You're worrying too much. To someone with a PhD, a BA probably isn't enough--so don't... (read in full...)
Action wanted, not just words!
Q. Hi fellow advice givers, I am dating my boyfriend of almost two years now and I have a few things I need help with. 1.) In all of my relationships, whether it's romantically with another guy, friends, or family, I have always been the giver an...
A. 22 July 2012: Well like that saying goes, "No good deed goes unpunished." It sounds like you're asking us how you can "change" your boyfriend. You can't change anyone. You already know that you are quite opposite but you get along. People actually have better ... (read in full...)
Is is possible to find only one person beautiful?
Q. My friend told me that he only finds his wife beautiful.Is it possible? I've searched on the net a bit about it and found 7 men and 10 women who says they only find their gfs or bfs beautiful. Are there these kind of people?...
A. 21 July 2012: I think maybe you're reading into it wrong. When I have a boyfriend that I care for dearly, I don't care about any other man. I don't care to look at them, check them out, talk to them, etc. I only find my boyfriend attractive--or bascially that ... (read in full...)
Is it for the thrill of it all?
Q. Hi Aunts, I have a question i would like to ask you all,as i can't seem to make any sense of it. I have been having a affair with a married man for quite some time,years actually,so please if any of you are going to preach to me that i'm doing wr...
A. 21 July 2012: I think you should ask him because it is weird and I can't make any sense of it either. ... (read in full...)
Why won't guys ask me out???
Q. I have had one real boyfriend in my life (who treated me horrible) but he is the only guy who had ever asked me out. We were on and off for three years, but he cheated constantly while lying to me about it. I dont understand - im a pretty woman, ...
A. 19 July 2012: You don't go out anywhere to meet anyone and the only time you meet new people is at work...well that's your problem there. You don't meet anyone and people at work are either already involved or trying to keep it professional, it's a sticky ... (read in full...)
Does this married older woman want to sleep with me?
Q. Ok im 21 and i work in an office with only one other male, all the rest are female. There is one woman in the office who is constantly flirting with me and complimenting me--and i mean outrageously. At a recent night out too she stayed with me all ...
A. 14 July 2012: Dr. Lance, talk about double-standards. A woman thinks about going after a married man and she winds up being just morally corrupt, a slut, and a homewrecker. A guy is considering having sex with a married woman and it's "okay" and it's her ... (read in full...)
I want to change roommates, moving in with my boyfriend, but how do I tell my friend and my parents?
Q. hi im 19 and currently in college about to start my sophomore year. last year I roomed with my best friend from high school but now I dont consider her really a friend. we came to the agreement last year that we would room together for the 4 years ...
A. 14 July 2012: I think you should find another girl to move in with. Sorry, but living with a guy in your late teens/early twenties is the the worst thing ever, at least in my experience (did it twice). Of course we all have to find out for ourselves, but I'm ... (read in full...)
Is it true that girls my age are more attracted to guys who know how to drive and own a car?
Q. Recently I've felt pressured into learning to drive. Here in the UK you can learn at 17 and im currently 19. Quite a few of my friends can drive but I've never got round to learning, most of the places I go to in my spare time are local or I can ...
A. 8 July 2012: I think it really all depends on where you are. I don't necessarily know how girls are in the U.K., or if you live in a city where having your own car is kind of pointless because it takes longer than walking or if it's better to use public ... (read in full...)
Seriously considering having an affair.
Q. I'll get straight to the point. I am very seriously considering having an affair. My husband has turned into a complete dead fish in the bedroom. He used to be very excited about me, he used to love to touch me, kiss me, lick me, sleep with me. He ...
A. 7 July 2012: Well when you got married, did you miss the part that you're supposed to stay faithful in your marriage for better or for worse?
Although, I agree that sex is important in any relationship whether you're married or not, but it comes across t... (read in full...)
Will I get pregnant from anal sex?
Q. I had anal sex with my boyfriend and he ejaculated inside me.will i get pregnant?Im scared.smh....
A. 7 July 2012: You're scared after the fact? Maybe you should have thought of it before. No, you cannot get pregnant from anal sex. Does a baby come out of your butt? No. Semen could come out and get close enough to your vagina and possibly swim up, but ... (read in full...)
First time sex didn't turn out so great!
Q. So, I had my first intercourse experience. That may be inaccurate though, but I don't know if fingering someone is an "intercourse" experience. I had fingered her silly, she wanted more and asked for two fingers inside. I obliged and things got h...
A. 7 July 2012: 1. Based on your description of all this, I don't know how much of an "honest" question this is or if you're just trolling for entertainment, but I guess I'll answer some questions anyway.
2. There's really no possible way for her to have act... (read in full...)
I sleep with men knowing they don't want anything but sex. I don't want to be this way!
Q. Im such a mess! I been single for 8 months i have a four yr old daughter. I have dated a few times, most of them losers but yet i have slept with them for some reason i can't seem to say no! I.don't wanna be this way!! I no im not confident and have ...
A. 1 July 2012: I meant *your* daughter.... (read in full...)
I sleep with men knowing they don't want anything but sex. I don't want to be this way!
Q. Im such a mess! I been single for 8 months i have a four yr old daughter. I have dated a few times, most of them losers but yet i have slept with them for some reason i can't seem to say no! I.don't wanna be this way!! I no im not confident and have ...
A. 1 July 2012: Sounds like it's time to focus on yourself! You know you have low self esteem and you need to lose weight. Go for it! I know the thought of it is overwhelming but do what you think will work best for you (no crash diets). You have to think ... (read in full...)
Can toothpaste get rid of pimples?
Q. Iv starting developing pimples. iv been using a cream but it bleach my skin too much so iv decided to put an end to it even though it helps me. I heard tooth paste can also get rid of pimples. But i dont know how to go about it. Can tooth paste get ...
A. 30 June 2012: I tried this before and it made it worse! Maybe it was the kind of toothpaste I used? But you can always give it a try. In my opinon spot treatments with benzoyl peroxide work (but can be harsh) or that have a higher level of salicylic acid work ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is planning a vacation with his ex-wife, for their daughter's sake. Should I be upset?
Q. Recently, my boyfriend of about 9 months said that he and his ex-wife were planning to take their 5 year old daughter on vacation to Disneyworld. They've been divorced for a few years, and live about three hours apart, but share equal custody of the ...
A. 29 June 2012: I think if you're invited, then you should go if it comes up in the future. And I agree with janniepeg, her fiance should go too. If it's a vacation with just them two and their child, then yes, weird and cause for concern.
I know you don't wa... (read in full...)
My husband had an affair while he was working in a different country. Should I stay or leave?
Q. we've been married for 17 years with 2 kids, we are happy family, but one day i just found out that my husbandhad an affair to the other while he was working in a different country. He lied to me he said he never had anothet girl while he was away ...
A. 29 June 2012: Two years! He didn't just cheat, he had a relationship with someone else! Sure, things can always be resolved and you can forgive him, but you're never going to forget and I'm sure you'll resent him. In the end you'll never be happy and anytime ... (read in full...)
How can I get a bigger butt?
Q. Hi everyone. Im the slim type but my problem is i have a small butt, how can i get a bigger butt without applying any cream? What kind of exercises are suitable to get a bigger butt? Please your advice are welcome...
A. 23 June 2012: Do squats, climb stairs, do lunges, do leg lifts. They make your butt perkier so it looks a little bigger. Don't expect life-changing results, but it'll still probably look better.... (read in full...)
I accidentally found out that my daughter in law & family do not like me. What do I do now?
Q. This afternoon I had my 10 year old grandson (my son's son)and I took a wrong turn in the car at a junction. He panicked thinking we were going to his other grannys (his mum's mum). On gently questioning him he told me that it would be a bad idea ...
A. 21 June 2012: I agree, you should talk to your son. Your grandson could have thought they were talking about you when it was really someone else or also could be that he just didn't want to go there?... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't acknowledge when I say things
Q. I've been dating a wonderful man for 6 months. I've never had a relationship go this smoothly ever. There are only two issues: one huge and one small. The huge one is he can't sustain an erection enough for us to have sex. Although this is a huge ...
A. 21 June 2012: Okay, so I'm not a doctor at all able to diagnose anyone. But does he not have very much of a sense of humor in general? Does he not catch on very well to sarcasm and/or jokes? He could have Asperger's and to him, everything is literal and he ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome this persistent fear that my young cousins will one day suffer pain?
Q. Today, i was holding my cousin. He's only 6 months old, and the cutest, most smilely baby ever. And all i could think of was how terrified i was for him. I'm so scared he'll get bullied or something, and may become suicidal. I don't want him to ever ...
A. 18 June 2012: I think it's pretty normal. I see my niece and nephews, ages 4 and 5, they're just so darn cute and loveable you can't imagine anyone wanting to be mean to them or want to hurt their feelings. But I've had the same thoughts, they're just so sweet ... (read in full...)
I'm worried I like him more than he likes me. What should I do?
Q. I met this guy about a month ago when I visited my friend out of town. They are roommates. My friend has told me that he is a very nice guy etc. We hit it off really well, hung out a lot, got physical but didn't have sex. Until I met him I had ...
A. 17 June 2012: Just because he's broke, it doesn't mean that he's not interested in you. Depending how far you live, he may not be able to afford the gas to get there and back and then he can't afford to take you out on dates. He may like you, but until he makes ... (read in full...)
My BF says he doesn't need to wear a condom because he smokes.... is this true?
Q. My boyfriend smokes so should he wear a condom when we start to have sex because I've heard it's more difficult for a girl to get pregnant from a boy who smokes cigarettes?...
A. 16 June 2012: Ha! No! And I surely hope you don't end up having children with him either because he doesn't sound too bright.... (read in full...)
I've been replaced in the group by a new girl and it hurts!
Q. Hi, I have a bit of a friendship problem. I usually go and hang out in my village with 3 good friends (2 boys 1 girl) and we would meet up a few times a week. Recently, one of the boys has been seeing a girl from school (one of my friends) and now...
A. 9 June 2012: Since you mentioned that it was like a double date and you felt awkward, it sounds like they're starting relationships with these girls. You're still their friend so of course nothing has really changed, but if you are going out on a double date, ... (read in full...)
We had sex after 3 weeks and there was hardly any semen! Does that mean my boyfriend is having sex with someone else?
Q. I have a sex question that I should probably know by now but don't - so here goes: My boyfriend and I had a huge fight . We went 3 weeks without having sex and finally we did. I expected him to orgasm right away but he didn't. When he finally ...
A. 8 June 2012: After the follow up, sounds like you should have MUCH bigger problems than whether or not he's been cheating or masturbating. You've been together a year and he still doesn't want to meet your parents? That's odd. Although simple details like ... (read in full...)
We had sex after 3 weeks and there was hardly any semen! Does that mean my boyfriend is having sex with someone else?
Q. I have a sex question that I should probably know by now but don't - so here goes: My boyfriend and I had a huge fight . We went 3 weeks without having sex and finally we did. I expected him to orgasm right away but he didn't. When he finally ...
A. 6 June 2012: It could be, but you would have to ask him. I was going to go with the masturbation idea--which could quite possibly be an explanation. Especially if he did so right before seeing you. I've had boyfriends purposely masturbate beforehand so they ... (read in full...)
I want to stop taking my birth control pill and not tell my b/f
Q. I'm 20. I started dating a great guy a few months ago, and for the past month, all I've been thinking about is getting pregnant. He's 27, has a wonderful job, and would not walk out on me if I got pregnant. His father left when he was young and he ...
A. 4 June 2012: Trapping a guy by getting pregnant is not the way to go. You already know it's not right because you want a reality check. You'll be REALLY disappointed if he does walk out--which could very well happen. Even the nicest guys won't stick around, ... (read in full...)
Tips for changing the timing of my period?
Q. Right... So basically, im going on holiday on the 1st of August, but im due to be on my period then. I dont want this to ruin my holiday, so i want to dely my period? Im not ready to use a tampon and i dont want to go on birth control.. Does a...
A. 3 June 2012: Hmm no tampons and no birth control pills. Stand on your head?... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me? Moms? Dads? Anyone?
Q. i am so sick of my mom! i am about turn 16 going to be a junior! but my mom doesnt seem to understand.. that i want to go out. she claims to be my bestfriend. and then when i tell her things she throws it in my face. like what the freak! she doesn'...
A. 31 May 2012: Your mom is your parent, not your friend. Your mom has been there and done that, she knows better than you do. You're lucky she even lets you have a boyfriend, a lot of girls can't date until 16 or even 18. ... (read in full...)
Do guys my age automatically expect sex?
Q. Hey there! So, I'm 18 and I'm getting ready to head off to college soon. Like most kids (I guess some would consider me a "young adult"?) my age, I've been pondering the possibilities of what the future might bring. This includes relationships and ...
A. 30 May 2012: Guys any age expect sex. If you can find a guy at your church that is like-minded, then it's possible to find a guy that's okay with you waiting until marriage. Otherwise, I would have to agree that there are very few guys (even good guys) that ... (read in full...)
Ladies: I have some dating queries, please let me know what you think
Q. Hi, this is a post for the ladies (guys can def help too). I'm a guy and have been meeting the odd female here and there but I never actually get a formal relationship out of any of them. So I have been thinking of what may be the problem. It i...
A. 22 May 2012: The guy always pays on first date.
-Yes, I think it's nice for the guy to pay for the first date, especially if he asked her out. However, it is nice if she offers to help pay half or at least the tip, but it shouldn't necessarily be expected... (read in full...)
Dumped on my birthday and I have no idea why!
Q. Am feeling pretty fragile at the moment and in a state of shock and am hoping someone will offer me some advice. Have been in a relationship for the last 6 years and without warning and without any clues I have been dumped a few days ago. My partner ...
A. 20 May 2012: Dumping you on your birthday does seem rather mean. Are you sure there was nothing wrong in the relationship and you kept avoiding it? It seems like when someone does that it's almost out of retaliation.
Anyway, six years is a long time to ... (read in full...)
Why won't he video chat with me?
Q. So i have been dating this guy online for about 2 months.. We knew eachother a long time ago via facebook. There was a break in the middle and we started talking again. And few months ago he told me he wanted something more than plain friendship and ...
A. 20 May 2012: Have you actually ever seen in him in person before? If not, he may have posted pictures that weren't of him on FB and now that you want to skype with him, he doesn't want you to see how he really looks. It's easy for people to live in a fantasy ... (read in full...)
I'm panicking because I'm 29 and still single
Q. Im panicking because Im almost 29 and still single. I have a 2 year old son but no longer with his father. I have very brief relationships with guys as they all seem to be wrong for me or treat me bad. I met a really nice guy a few weeks ago and we ...
A. 19 May 2012: So I found this webpage yesterday...so insightful. I'm pushing 30 too and I feel ya. Hope it helps, I think it helped me :) And no, I'm not spamming--I just thought a lot of it was pretty accurate and I should follow a lot of what it says.
... (read in full...)
I really want our kids to have my last name!
Q. I imagine this question is going to spark a lot of controversy.Me and my fiance have been talking about kids lately. Why I have no idea. But she keeps saying about the kids have her last name. but she has already said that when we get married she is ...
A. 17 May 2012: Honestly, I think it's odd, especially if she plans to change her last name if you get married. While, it really is pretty much a traditional standard and times are a changing, I think if you want the kids to have your last name it's a reasonable ... (read in full...)
Am I insecure? I don't trust my girlfriend who is a dancer!
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months an we have a good relationship she is a dancer an has been for about six months she says she hates her job an trust me when I say so do I!!!! We have known eachother for years she has been ingaged 3 ...
A. 17 May 2012: I'm just gonna be blunt here--she's a stripper and she's cheated on you in the past. You shouldn't trust her. If she "hates" her job so much then she can always start waiting tables and make tips that way instead!
Just go with your gut. If... (read in full...)
Why do I not respect myself ?
Q. This is so embarrassing: I am in my forties, a grown up woman, an excellent mother, I have been told my son is a credit to me, I raised him on my own. My problem: I dated a cheating lying man for 5 years on and off, on and off as I wanted to e...
A. 17 May 2012: I think you're too nice and you're afraid you can't do any better. Going out, dating, and meeting new people can be a scary thing. The thing is, is you're way better than this guy and you know it, you just need to completely get rid of him.
... (read in full...)
He never calls ...
Q. Dear Cupid My bf for the past few months is avoiding me too much. He never calls even if i call he says he is busy or hanging out with friends and cuts the call. Its been very long since we talked or hanged out for long. I miss him a lot, i tr...
A. 16 May 2012: Sorry, but it seems like your boyfriend might have lost interest. It's totally heartbreaking, but don't feel like it's because you're not good enough or anything like that. You really need to consider ending the relationship.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.
Q. I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well... My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex...
A. 15 May 2012: Sorry, dear. But you're already trying to make excuses for him, you don't know anything for a fact unless you're with him 24/7. Just because you're at his house, doesn't mean he's not at someone else's house when he's supposed to be at work. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale.
Q. I don't know if I should worry or not. My boyfriend and I have been together for 10months. He is 20 almost 21 years old. And well... My boyfriend wants to have sex with a shemale. The other day I found out that he's on craigslist looking to have sex...
A. 15 May 2012: Hello! He's looking to cheat on you regardless if you want him to or not. How do you know that he hasn't already? The kid obviously is in the closet, either for being homosexual or bisexual. You need to confront him and probably dump him before ... (read in full...)
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