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*inktopaz

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*inktopaz's profile:

I'm 29 and born and raised in California.

I've gone through quite a few relationships! Some were great and some were down right terrible!

I really enjoy trying to help people get through relationship woes. Sometimes they can be life consuming and everyone can use a little help from time-to-time.

< Prev1234567891011Next > [49 pages, 1928 answers]

He gave me chlamydia and wasn't upfront with me about it. Is withholding information the same as lying?

Q.   I'm 3 months pregnant and through the series of required blood tests, I tested positive for chlamydia. Totally shocked, I told my bf what the doc said and asked if there was anything he needed to tell me (I tested negative at my last visit in ...

A.   26 June 2013: What I think is relevant is if he's still seeing other people or this girl that gave him chlamydia. If he really did hook up with someone else during a "break" then I don't think he necessarily needed to tell you, BUT I do think it was ... (read in full...)

Overreacting to a Missed Happy Birthday?

Q.   I have a really good friend that lives in another state. Overall he is a really good guy and his birthday was a few months ago. I sent him a "birthday" package with a few items. I also made sure to wish him a Happy Birthday as well on his special ...

A.   26 June 2013: Overreacting. It's nice that he was actually thoughtful enough to return the gesture near or around your birthday, and quite honestly, people are busy and forget! I've forgotten very good friends' birthdays and remembered days later and either ... (read in full...)

Play hard to get or wear my emotions on my sleeve?

Q.   dear cupid, Its an exciting time of my life, I was introduced to a man about 2 1/2 weeks ago and I'm totally diggin him. Let me share with you though, I consider myself new to the dating scene since the last man I dated was my ex who I was in a rel...

A.   26 June 2013: I don't think you need to be upfront with what you're feeling because this can freak people (guys and girls) out at first. It's taken me a lot of practice and trial and error (lots of errors)to figure out what works for me if I'm interested in a ... (read in full...)

I'm not looking for anything serious but I don't want to be lied to

Q.   My fiancé and I have decided to part ways 3 months ago. We were together for 10 years. We argued way too much that the love and respect slowly faded. I am not ready for commitment at all, but wanted a little distraction. I recently started ...

A.   25 June 2013: I don't think he lied to you to be malicious or anything. I think people are lied to or a secret it kept from them because the other party doesn't want to hurt their feelings or even get into the dynamics of it, especially if you aren't in a ... (read in full...)

I'm not looking for anything serious but I don't want to be lied to

Q.   My fiancé and I have decided to part ways 3 months ago. We were together for 10 years. We argued way too much that the love and respect slowly faded. I am not ready for commitment at all, but wanted a little distraction. I recently started ...

A.   25 June 2013: I don't think he lied to you to be malicious or anything. I think people are lied to or a secret it kept from them because the other party doesn't want to hurt their feelings or even get into the dynamics of it, especially if you aren't in a ... (read in full...)

I'm married with 3 children, one of my children may belong to my lover. How can I make everyone happy? I don't want to lose my husband.

Q.   I got married eight years ago to a man i seriously thought was my soulmate. Shortly after our wedding he started shutting down sexually and left me wanting for more. Since that time i have had a few affairs, nothing that would threaten my emot...

A.   30 April 2013: I'm almost positive you can even get DNA tests at the drugstore these days. If not, they're pretty easy to get a hold of. I guess your "lover" comes over to your home at times??? A little strange to me, but I'm not trying to judge. Do the DNA ... (read in full...)

Do I have a right to be angry that he is going out to dinner alone with another woman?

Q.   Is it acceptable for a man to go to dinner with a female acquaintance when he is either in a relationship or trying to "work things out" with his ex? And if you're "working things out" then does that mean you would describe yourself to othe...

A.   28 April 2013: As far as still being single when you're "working things out" with your ex, I would say yes, you would still be single. It almost seems like it's a, "Let's see if this works unless I change my mind or something better comes along," type of deal. ... (read in full...)

I feel hurt by his remarks -- am I wrong?

Q.   I'm slightly upset and I should not know if I should be. It was my boyfriends birthday. I was laid off, but I had saved some money for this occasion. He knows this, and he is aware of my financial situation. Firstly, he wanted something v...

A.   28 April 2013: I think sometimes people don't realize how serious your financial situation is when you've been laid off and what hoops you jumped through to make his birthday special. I don't think you're being stupid. I think you have the right to feel hur... (read in full...)

My crush has a g/f but says I'm pretty. How do I tell his g/f what he said?

Q.   Ok so today I saw my ex near and he kept staring at me I said " what are you staring at me for " and he said " nothing ". I said something funny and stubid but I said " what you wishing you had all this again " and I like pointed to my self and ...

A.   24 April 2013: Telling his girlfriend would start a bunch of UNECESSARY drama! All he said was that you're pretty. So what? Just because you have a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean you find everyone else unattractive. There's absolutely no need to tell ... (read in full...)

Married coworker loves hugging talking to me but won't leave his wife. What is his game?

Q.   How can I make him feel differently? Ok i am infatuated/obsessed with/in love with a male colleague. I put all 3 as I am not entirely sure what it is yet. I work with him everyday very closely. In fact we cannot avoid being in close proximity...

A.   22 April 2013: It doesn't really sound like he has a game. He's already told you that he's happy with his wife and has it made, so there's no reason for him to chance it with you. Not that you're not a good person and someone that he wouldn't want to be with if ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's friend tried to set him up with another girl behind my back.

Q.   I saw on my boyfriends phone that a friend of his texted him a pic of another girl. Followed by, "what do you think?" Mind you my boyfriend had erased all the text messages between them prior to this. Anyway, my boyfriend replied, "that could be ...

A.   9 April 2013: I think that your boyfriend probably vents to his friends about his relationship (as normal people do). And his friend being drunk (or maybe sober) thought he would do the good deed of setting his friend up with someone else because he may possibly ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to get naughty on chat roulette with strangers?

Q.   Is it wrong to get naughty with strangers over Chat Roulette? My boyfriend has been gone for a few weeks overseas, and I have been very bored and lonely. I would never cheat on my partner, but lately I have been masturbating with men on Chat Rou...

A.   7 April 2013: How would you feel if your boyfriend was doing the same thing? Would you think it was wrong? That would be your answer.... (read in full...)

Can you die of heartbreak?

Q.   Hey I need help me and my girl broke up were together like a year...we were in love love or so I thought:( she seems fine though and I'm heartbroken:'( like for real guys I know everyone's been hurt including me but I've been depressed since the ...

A.   31 March 2013: Now, don't take this the wrong way. But you're not the only person that's ever been broken up with and not the only person that has ever felt this way. You're not going to die! She's ignoring you because she's trying to get over you. You should ... (read in full...)

What is the best way to handle our rude friends?

Q.   I'm in an awkward position with a family that we have known for quite a bit. Recently we started doing more outings together as their little boy grew up, and they are more free with their time. Both husband and son act very strange when we inv...

A.   31 March 2013: Personally, I would quit inviting them over OR don't invite them to anything where food is present! Their behavior is extremely rude and anyone with any sense of courtesy would know that just eating food someone else ordered without even asking is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend told me he doesn't know if I'm the one. Should I end things?

Q.   Hi, Well I am having great relationship problems. I feel very lost and don't know what to do. My boyfriend told me he loved me and things were great between us. Then i noticed he was acting off with me and on questioning him he said he didn't k...

A.   5 January 2013: I'm a little confused, how long have you been with your boyfriend? Because the way he's acting, he's not acting like your boyfriend. It's like he's jumping ahead from being friends to not being able to call himself your boyfriend unless he wants ... (read in full...)

Porn rears it's ugly head, again!

Q.   Hi everyone i have been with my bf for 6 yrs now. About 6 months back i found porn on his laptop.he apologized, we broke up and patched up again. He promised he would not watch again. I posted here regarding that and i got many answers which helped ...

A.   3 December 2012: Honestly, I think porn is a "pick your battles" type of situation. Unless he's addicted to it and chooses porn over you, I don't see what the big deal is. Okay maybe not ALL men watch porn, but if only 25%-30% don't watch porn (and that depends on ... (read in full...)

Orgasms out of sync with ejaculation?

Q.   I have a question about an issue I've been having. Basically, it seems like my ejaculation and orgasms have gotten out of sync. This has only happened in the past 5 years or so, previously they happened at exactly the same time. I'll try to ...

A.   29 November 2012: I actually was listening to Love Line years ago (the one with Dr. Drew) and he was talking about this. Just because a man ejaculates, does not mean he's having an orgasm. So my guess is that it's fairly common and as far as getting them back in ... (read in full...)

Why is he not picking up my calls or calling me?

Q.   Dear Cupid My bf is not picking up his call for past 2 days. We didn't fight and I sent him couple of messages and no response for that too. I saw him online but he is not responding to my messages. I left voicemail. We are in LDR for 2 months and...

A.   29 November 2012: He's up to something or done something and isn't talking to you. Worst case scenarios: he cheated on you and doesn't know how to tell you so he's avoiding you because he feels guilty. Or he wants to break up with you and doesn't have the balls to ... (read in full...)

How did I get HPV if I have had only 1 sexual partner?

Q.   So I got a Pap smear recently and my doctor told me I had abnormal results and needed a colposcopy. The results from that showed that I'm HPV + ! However I have only been with 1 person sexually my whole life, my current boyfriend. He on the ...

A.   27 November 2012: You may have gotten HPV 2+ years ago but it didn't cause "abnormal" results until now. It doesn't mean he's been cheating on you--it can just take time for it to develop into abnormal cells.... (read in full...)

Cheating father--do I tell my mother?

Q.   I am 25 and live at home with my parents. My father has always been somewhat "shady". He stays out u till late many nights and him and my mother have had argued on and off for many years. When they are going through a "fighting stage" (usually after ...

A.   27 November 2012: I'm 28 and my parents are going through a divorce because of something similar starting 2-years ago. Just from experience, stay out of it. Even if you know--just don't get into it. Even though they are indeed your parents, you are a separate part ... (read in full...)

I hate my boyfriend's mother.

Q.   Okay so I've been with my boyfriend for about a year, I am 15 and he is 17. The major problem for us is that I absolutely can not stand his mother. I don't want to say hate, because that is a powerful word, but it is definitely getting there. I ...

A.   27 November 2012: How to deal with this? You'll have to deal with this by growing up, dear. I know you won't like what I'm going to tell you and probably what everyone else is going to tell you...but sorry, you're wrong in many ways and very naive. If you KNOW... (read in full...)

My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop seeing my friend.

Q.   Back in May of this year my wife and I had new neighbors move in after being introduced to each other we came to find out he was from England and I grew up in Ireland we instantly hit it off seeing as we both had so much in common as far as sports ...

A.   26 November 2012: Well sounds like her leaving would do you a favor! Kidding...sort of. It does sound like a control type of thing--as an anonymous poster asked, has she stopped you from having friends before since you haven't had a good friend in a long time?... (read in full...)

My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't stop seeing my friend.

Q.   Back in May of this year my wife and I had new neighbors move in after being introduced to each other we came to find out he was from England and I grew up in Ireland we instantly hit it off seeing as we both had so much in common as far as sports ...

A.   26 November 2012: Just apease her for now and then once she's cooled off, then bring up spending more time with your friend (like one day during the weekend, rather than both days). I think she's being pretty silly and extreme from reading your point-of-view, but ... (read in full...)

Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar?

Q.   Would you date someone who is mentally ill, more specifically bipolar? I was recently diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder, and in my googling I have read many, many warnings from people who have dated bipolar people to steer clear of us. I have al...

A.   18 November 2012: Being someone that has dated two different people, both with Bipolar disorder (not sure if they were I or II), I would be very hesitant to date another man that's bipolar. The first one didn't take any medication--he was a druggie (I didn't f... (read in full...)

I have a controlling supervisor at work! Do I quit or stay?

Q.   Hey!! New member here. Got an issue going on at my work, right now and hope I can get some good advice. Working with a woman who is my supervisor. Been working with her now for about 2 years. Generally, all was going well, until she began ...

A.   18 November 2012: Ignore her as much as possible and if you have to speak to her, just be completely calm and professional--that way she has absolutely nothing to use against you (which I'm sure you know). Once HR wants to talk to you, make sure you let them know ... (read in full...)

It's weird to think that it was only a week ago yesterday that I had really strong feelings for him and now, well they're gone!

Q.   How is it my feelings for this guy disappeared so quickly! The guy who I had liked for two months and used to get butterflies in my stomach over, when we kissed i got that tingle feeling and i was in complete bliss whenever i was around him. He is ...

A.   27 October 2012: It's normal. Infatuation is over and the reason why some people can't ever stay in a relationship.... (read in full...)

I dumped my married lover when I found out about another woman, I think his wife needs to be told!

Q.   I am married and had an affair with a married man. We're both in our early 50's. For four years. I've been needing to end it. He ended it, after some bad behaviour on my part, and well, I just got really angry. It wasn't some soulmate thing, it ...

A.   15 October 2012: I don't think you need to tell his wife. If anyone needs to tell his wife, it's him--it's their business and not yours. What will you really resolve telling her? Will it make you feel better because you're jealous because he now dumped you for ... (read in full...)

She is half my age and up the duff!

Q.   OMG!! my husband of 21 years wants a divorce after getting his co-worker who is half his age pregnant. he says he loves me but he is in love with her and wants to marry her, and is excited about the baby. we had no children together but i had 2 from ...

A.   15 October 2012: First, stop blaming yourself and don't feel stupid! Even if you had children I'm sure he would have done the same thing. Do you really want to fight for him and have to worry about him messing around with her still and not to mention he's "th... (read in full...)

My ex cheated on her new boyfriend with me, now what?

Q.   My problem is a tough one... I recently slept with my ex-girlfriend who has been in a new relationship for almost 3 months. She and I have been on and off for 10 years. The thing is this year i really tried to move on by giving her space and going ...

A.   9 October 2012: Yeah, sounds like you need to move on with your life. Don't answer your phone when she calls; if that's too hard, then change your number and don't give it to her.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has had sex with 100 girls. Am I just the next one in line?

Q.   My boyfriend confessed to having nearly 100 past sexual partners. I'm still a virgin, which makes it a shocker for me. He told me that before he turned 21 (his bday is next month) he wanted to go above 100, but said he would stop at me. He wanted me ...

A.   8 October 2012: Honestly, judging by your ages; yes, you'll just be another added to his list whether it's intentional or not. Do you really think you're gonna marry this guy? Probably not. Consider losing your virginity to someone more "worthy."... (read in full...)

I cheated on my workaholic wife -- now what?

Q.   I have been married for 10 years and have two kids under the age of 10. My wife recently was made an executive at her fortune 200 firm and has not been home much since. She leaves for work around 7 AM and most evenings she gets home after 10 PM. ...

A.   3 October 2012: Well as they say the grass is always greener...but one thing I heard recently is the grass isn't greener on the other side if you take care of what you have on your side. Now, I'm not saying you haven't tried to take care of anything, because ... (read in full...)

I forgave my boyfriend for cheating on me but he cant seem to forgive himself and is left with a terrible feeling of guilt and self-loathing

Q.   My boyfriend of four years cheated on me with a friend of ours about 4 months ago.. He was very drunk when it happened and he told me later that night when we were in bed together.. He is a very good and sweet guy.. I forgave him and said that it ...

A.   1 October 2012: Honey, it sounds like he's still cheating on you. He's purposely trying to push you away and hint that you should break up with him because he would break up with you. He feels bad dumping you, so he wants you to do it.... (read in full...)

What advice can you give for dating a younger man in university?

Q.   I'm a 22 year old senior and I like a 20 year old sophomore. I know age is just a number and whether or not the relationship will work depends on the two people. But does anyone have advice for dating a younger guy? Any insights or tips? Thanks! ...

A.   1 October 2012: He's only 2-years younger. Dating him won't be much different than someone the same age...... (read in full...)

Does he want more than FWB?

Q.   About a year ago I started uni and met a whole lot of new people, I got in an awesome friend group and everything was good. One of the guys from the group was a bit of a slag and hooked up with tonnes of girls, but he was still a great guy. After ...

A.   30 September 2012: There's not enough that's happened to really tell. Most likely not...if he's moved to "the other coast" that implies he moved clear across the country and 4,000 miles is quite a bit of a distance for a relationship. He probably considers you a ... (read in full...)

My daughter is dating a man who could be her dad

Q.   My 34 year old daughter is getting a divorce from her husband that is 34 also. She is now dating a man that is 57 years old. Does anyone have any advice? He is almost as old as her dad...

A.   27 September 2012: So? I've dated men that are technically old enough to be my dad...I liked them and they liked me. The end.... (read in full...)

Seems my Bf and his friends bullied this girl at school. So why would she want me to know her connection to my Bf?

Q.   girl from my boyfriend's past showed up at my shop and I don't know what to think of my bf's reaction to what she said! Sorry if this is long, but I don't know what to make of this! I work as a makeup artist/consultant at a mall. Any...

A.   23 September 2012: I really think you're worrying over nothing. 1. Just because someone seems all sweet and nice now, doesn't mean they weren't a bully in high school. I know some boys in school that were mean to me and now they're sweet as pie, even to me. A l... (read in full...)

How do I quit this terrible job? And should I report the company after I'm gone?

Q.   How do I quit my job? I work at a very busy yet understaffed restaurant. It's run the traditional east Asian way... I'm sorry for the poor terminology. What I'm trying to say is that they're very cheap. Mangement takes some of our tip, they didn't...

A.   20 September 2012: Don't tell them anything. Just report it to your state's department of labor and they will investigate it. If you want to go as far as to sue, you can for overtime wages owed as well as being forced to work with no breaks. As Cally mentioned, ... (read in full...)

Uncles: I need your thoughts please? He told me he didn't want a Gf but did want to hang out. Then an insulting offer. Now what? Do I accept him apology and move on?

Q.   I met a single man(in this 30's) last year from Canada and we have been in contact for 1 year now. We only met once and had a great time and chemistry and everything(did not do anything with him at all, I'm more respectable). So, now he emails me t...

A.   18 September 2012: Accept his apology and tell him you're going to "share a piece of that ass" with someone that isn't a douchebag. He is a d-bag, so what? He's obviously not a good "friend" either. I'm sure you have plenty of friends, and I'm sure you don't need ... (read in full...)

Did I push him away? 9 year age difference. How do I get things back on track? Please help!!!

Q.   I think I pushed my "guy friend" away. About a week ago this guy that I have been friends with for 6 months finally admitted he was attracted to me. Since I've known him I have always been attracted to him and wanted to take it to the next level. A...

A.   18 September 2012: "He is happy living the single life. And I'm not looking for a relationship with him but I do want to bring it to the next level with him." That makes no sense...you know he's happy being single, you don't want a relationship but you want to go to... (read in full...)

Am I just being paranoid about his strange phone behaviors or is there something to worry about here? And how would a normal person react to this?

Q.   Earlier tonight I asked my husband to see his phone to hear a voicemail his brother had left. It seemed like he was going through some things and pressing a lot of buttons before handing me his phone. I am a paranoid person and I think I suffer from ...

A.   15 September 2012: I think you're being paranoid...Google Othello syndrome and get some help if you're always like this. Seriously.... (read in full...)

Does going down on a woman frequently make her more likely to cheat?

Q.   I want to ask a question please which I'd like the most honest answers to. There's a couple, male and female, and in this relationship the man is willing to go down on a woman all the time without question while making love and without being as...

A.   15 September 2012: Umm no...if a man won't do any of the above and has to be asked like it's a chore for him, I would say it would be more of a cause than him actually doing so.... (read in full...)

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