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... Send *idge a private message | | | *idge's profile:I'm 35 years old and after 12 years have just broken up with my boyfriend. I was born and lived in South Africa until 1997, when I moved to Scotland. I am currently studying Community Education after my father passed away in July 2009. His death made me think long and hard about what I had, what I want and how Im going to get it. I have loved, lost and loved again. I have a lot of experience in areas that sometimes I wish I never had, but the experiences make me stronger and able to deal with things that normally I wouldnt be able to. I dont pull any punches and call a spade a spade, some like it, some dont. If you ask for advice, be prepared for a frank and honest answer. |
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Why doesn't she care that he raped me?
Q. My mum HATES my sisters boyfriend for cheating. But shes still good friends with my rapist. I just dont understand it, my sisters boyfriend has been cheating on her and staying out all night. Leaveing her to look after to kids. And she absolutely ...
A. 8 May 2007: Guilt can be a terrible thing to live with. Perhaps her hiring the limo was her way of saying sorry without saying sorry. But the fact that she is still friends with this person defeates the object of attempting to apologize since the pain will ... (read in full...)
Im 6 months pregnant, all we do is fight, Is there any point to carrying on ?
Q. im a bit confused at the moment. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. im 6 months pregnant with his baby. the problem is that we keep on fighting, and its gotten so bad that there is a lot of name calling and blaming each ...
A. 22 March 2007: I'm so glad things are starting to work for you!
Good luck and keep us informed of your progress!... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend show no affection towards me?
Q. Why does my boyfriend show no affection towards me? It's been 9 months and we've had sex maybe a doz. times. Were both in our 50's. He says he loves me. Is this love? I don't think so. Please help....
A. 21 March 2007: There are a lot of relationships where one of the people dont show affection, but that doesnt mean that they dont love each other. They just arent the affection showing type!
I was never an affection showing type of person, but since I met my b... (read in full...)
Why did it take my boyfriend 8 months to have me meet his friends and take me to his apartment?
Q. Why did it take my boyfriend 8 months to meet his friends and take me to his apt? I kept telling him he was hiding something. He wasn't. He said he was just ashamed of what his place looked like. Yes, as he has said, my place is a lot nicer ...
A. 21 March 2007: At the end of the day the most important people in his life will always be his kids. Even if you werent in his life, they will be! Its not easy being part of someones life when they have kids elsewhere.
He probably feels as though he has missed o... (read in full...)
Im 6 months pregnant, all we do is fight, Is there any point to carrying on ?
Q. im a bit confused at the moment. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. im 6 months pregnant with his baby. the problem is that we keep on fighting, and its gotten so bad that there is a lot of name calling and blaming each ...
A. 21 March 2007: This is supposed to be a happy time for you in your pregnancy, you really dont need the stress, its not good for yours and your babies health.
Running away isnt the answer either, but perhaps its time to look at the whole picture. Why are you alwa... (read in full...)
Should I tell him to leave her??
Q. Hello, I have my best friend who likes me and I like him... he's goin out with somebody (just a pity thing) and lately we've been "together". For example on IM he'll tell me that he likes me, then at school you can tell to but his "girlfri...
A. 21 March 2007: If he likes you the way he says he does, then pity or not, he should end it with this girl. The problem is that you shouldnt be the one suggesting it. If you mean as much to him as he says, then he should use his head and do something about the ... (read in full...)
Is he losing interest??
Q. My b/f does not kiss me as much. He kisses me quick like goodbye in the morning or if i am laying next to him and kiss him but he does not kiss me like in the beginning--french kissing, loong kisses. Even before we are about to be intimate...
A. 21 March 2007: I dont think its a case of loosing interest!
A lot of guys get to a point where they are so comfortable in their relationship that they want sex, and want to get it over and done with in as quick a time as possible. They are not interest... (read in full...)
She loves me and misses me but doesn't want to be with me anymore!!
Q. I need some help. I was with my ex girlfriend for around 2 years on and off. At first it was amazing but then like any other couple we had problems. I broke up with her last october and for months she cried to me every night saying she wanted me ...
A. 21 March 2007: If your girlfriend has made up her mind, then there is no point trying to get her to change her mind. If she needs convincing then its not something she is comfortable with and not a true feeling. You will never know how she is feeling when she is ... (read in full...)
Am I too attentive to this guy I love or should I ease back a bit? What do you think?
Q. Am I too needy? I have this problem. there is a guy that I have known for 3 years. I am head over heels in love. I still get butterflies in my stomach, I still cant stop smiling when i hear his name or his voice. I’m getting giddy writing about hi...
A. 21 March 2007: Not a man sorry, but I think if you backed off a little, if he were really interested in you, he would make the effort to come and pop into your office.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder, and any relationship that does blossom from that wil... (read in full...)
I found my boyfriend's profile on a dating website!
Q. I need help again! This past weekend I found my boyfriend's profile on a dating website. Its been there for a while but he has his profile unsearchable and he claims he doesn't have a membership. But, he also had favorite girls picked from this ...
A. 21 March 2007: You should perhaps say to him that if he's not looking for something else, then you wont mind if you block that website on your computer. I have software on my computer which allows me to block websites that I dont want on my machine.
So he would... (read in full...)
We have a personal and business relationship but we fell out-so do I keep the business end going?
Q. we met one year ago at work and for the past 9 months have had a very loving and passionate relationship. we left our partners and our work to be together although we were living apart we set up a new business venture together. I lied to him about a ...
A. 21 March 2007: I dont know what type of business venture you are both in, but think that if you are uncomfortable being in the same room with each other, how could you have a business relationship.
The only way you could keep the business going is by sitting ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend show no affection towards me?
Q. Why does my boyfriend show no affection towards me? It's been 9 months and we've had sex maybe a doz. times. Were both in our 50's. He says he loves me. Is this love? I don't think so. Please help....
A. 21 March 2007: My boyfriend doesnt show much affection either, however he shows his emotions in other ways. He doesnt give me kisses or hugs or anything like that.
He has never been the touchy, feelly type of person, but I accept him for that.
There is also... (read in full...)
Why did it take my boyfriend 8 months to have me meet his friends and take me to his apartment?
Q. Why did it take my boyfriend 8 months to meet his friends and take me to his apt? I kept telling him he was hiding something. He wasn't. He said he was just ashamed of what his place looked like. Yes, as he has said, my place is a lot nicer ...
A. 21 March 2007: My boyfriend wont allow me to go to his house. The reason being that my house is a lot nicer than his, and he is not comfortable me seeing that. Like you, I dont care about material things, and dont particuarly care if he lived in a box, so long as ... (read in full...)
He says he wants back with me but is dating another girl! What can we do?
Q. my first boyfriend and i split up about 2 years ago and i got talking to him the other day and he told me that he loves me and he always has but the problem is he has been dating this girl i no since we split. He wants me back and i want him back ...
A. 21 March 2007: Being confused is not always a bad thing, it means you are thinking about things through. If you can be certain this boy has definately finished with this other girl, then if you really feel that strong for him, there is no harm giving it another ... (read in full...)
My friend is gay and wants to come out but he's freaking out about it. What advice can I give him?
Q. I have got a 17 year old male friend that comes to me for advice, I am older than him and have lived my life somewhat!! He has announced that he thinks he is gay and that he wants to start a relationship with a man he knows. But he is freaking ...
A. 21 March 2007: I was 17, at school and my best friend was gay. Everyone knew it, but he was absolutely petrified at what people may think.
The only thing you can do, is be there for him, because unfortunately there is stigma attached to being gay. And quite fr... (read in full...)
How can I get past severe sexual abuse ?
Q. How do you get over severe sexual abuse... i am pregnant and have got a partner (not the babies dad) but when it comes to sex, i cant bear to let him touch me as it brings back horrible memories... please help I cant go through counselling again as...
A. 21 March 2007: Being a victim of rape, I know exactly what you mean and how you feel. 17 years after my experience I still feel the hurt, but it does subside.
I told my boyfriend pretty early on in our relationship so that he knew I was "fragile" and I couldnt ... (read in full...)
Since we are in an LDR I don't want to pressure him!!
Q. I moved to another town and met this guy on line, we shared mails for 2 weeks, then we talked on the phone for a week, then we decided te meet up. We fell for each other right away (we both removed our profile from the site). We had a great re...
A. 20 March 2007: Firstly long distance relationships are hard.
A lot of people (including myself) often feel uncomfortable saying how they feel, they feel more comfortable showing how they feel. Sometimes, even that for some people is difficult.
He probably d... (read in full...)
Shes says she only sees me as a friend, but when I mentioned leaving the country she wanted to come with me!? Am I stupid to think something can happen ??
Q. Well, I really need some advice here as I have no idea what to do, if anything at all! Please bare with me... this is a little bit long. A little background. I moved to a new town about 6 months ago for work. As it normally happens, the peo...
A. 19 March 2007: Sounds like she is as confused as you are.
I admire you for taking the first step and telling her how you feel. I wouldnt think that that would want to make her move town though.
It sounds like there could possibly be something there,... (read in full...)
He says he wants back with me but is dating another girl! What can we do?
Q. my first boyfriend and i split up about 2 years ago and i got talking to him the other day and he told me that he loves me and he always has but the problem is he has been dating this girl i no since we split. He wants me back and i want him back ...
A. 19 March 2007: An ex is an ex for a reason. This probably isnt what you want to hear but its the unfortunate truth.
You split two years ago and he started dating straight away. If your relationship meant that much to him, he would have taken a little time out... (read in full...)
My husband’s sex drive is lowering and mine is increasing. I don’t want to resort to a vibrator – what do I do; any suggestions?
Q. I am a 29yr old married woman that has a very healthy sex drive. My husband on the other hand I don’t know what’s the matter with him. If I leave sex up to him, we’d have relations once a month. In anger I have in the past told him that if he ...
A. 19 March 2007: Firstly, you're not alone. I am 31 and my boyfriend is 41. We are in the same boat at present as his sex drive is almost gone and mine is, as you say, at its peak.
At first I thought it was something I had done, or not done. Then we found ou... (read in full...)
I cant let her do this to him! How do i deal with this ex?
Q. I need some help, thats why I'm here tbh, Theres a girl i know from school and she added me on myspace, she's in the year above me and tbh i dont really know her. Anyway she recently broke up with a guy who I will call George, I added him on...
A. 19 March 2007: The only thing you can do really, which is probably not what you want to hear, is get the police involved. He needs to go and have an informal chat with his local police department. They will be best to advise on how to deal with the situation.
... (read in full...)
I have declined dating him as I know my parents wont approve, its really not what either of us want, and its hurts!!
Q. bbackground information/b i am an 18 year old girl, the guy concerned in all this is 21. we both work in a clothes shop, he works their full time, and i am part time, as i also attend college, we see each other 2 times a week in work, for 2 hours pe...
A. 18 March 2007: If this guy feels the way he says he does about you, then he would be prepared to make the sacrifice and give you and him a little space and time to mature. The chances are that you parents will never come round to the fact that you and he feel ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she care that he raped me?
Q. My mum HATES my sisters boyfriend for cheating. But shes still good friends with my rapist. I just dont understand it, my sisters boyfriend has been cheating on her and staying out all night. Leaveing her to look after to kids. And she absolutely ...
A. 18 March 2007: I was raped at 15, and the worst part about the whole ordeal is that my one sister didnt at first believe me. She told me that it wasnt true and that if it was, I must have asked for it. You soon start believing that you did do something ... (read in full...)
How do you distinguish love from lust?
Q. How can one distiguish love from lust. Does a guy who wants sex every time you meet lustful about you and not actually love you, I really want to know coz I am not sure if my boyfriend loves me. THANX 4 your help. :)))...
A. 18 March 2007: Love is something that is between two people. Whereas someone in lust, would pretty much take what he can get from whomever he can get it. If he's in lust, then he will take what he can get from you, not because he "loves" you, but because he is ... (read in full...)
Can a guy love two girls at the same time?
Q. Can a guy love 2 girls at the same time? My in mate says he loves me but I know he has a girlfriend and I dont know what to do coz I also love him. PLZ HELP....
A. 18 March 2007: I believe it is possible to have feelings for more than one person at a time, but not to love more than one person at a time. If someone LOVES you, then it is completely monogomous! He loves you, and no-one else! If he has a girlfriend and says that ... (read in full...)
I feel like I cant trust him, he lied that he wasnt smoking then I caught him!!
Q. My boyfriend promised me if I continued the relationship he would stop smoking. Since then he has denied smoking when I have confronted him about smelling of smoke. I explained that I would not be cross if he had been smoking but I didn’t want him ...
A. 18 March 2007: This is a difficult one because my boyfriend of 10 years, who I love dearly smokes, much against my wish. The thing is that if he is going to stop smoking, it needs to be because he wants to, not because you want him to. If he gives it up for you, ... (read in full...)
Her mum is trying to put her off me, how can I make her think for herself?
Q. Hi there, My girlfriend and I are having problems. I'm 28 and she's 21. We've been together for 4 yrs. Her parents are going through tough times for quite some time for almost 3 years and they have more than 10 years in age difference (been...
A. 18 March 2007: I am 31 and my boyfriend is 41. We have been together for 10 years. His mum tried to put me off of him because of the age difference, but at the end of the day, it is what she thinks and not her parents. She is probably at a very emotional stage ... (read in full...)
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