A
female
age
30-35,
*ain_at_heart
writes:bbackground information/bi am an 18 year old girl, the guy concerned in all this is 21. we both work in a clothes shop, he works their full time, and i am part time, as i also attend college, we see each other 2 times a week in work, for 2 hours per time.i come from a very strict family. they like to think i have been bought up "correctly" and they always want the best for me.he has had a troubled past, parents divorced, does not really speak to his dad, effected his life and resulted to him smoking and also on weed.my sister also works in the same shop and has know him for 5 years. i have to admit at work he has bad language and comes across wrong as if he has bad attitude and my sister has told my mum about it all. but he has never been that way with me, he has always treated me with respect and if people didnt wind him up in work i think he would also show respect to them.bissue/bbasically to put it as simply as possibly, this guy has been texting me since last august, it started off friendly and the texts got more and more flirty. he asked me out in dec 06 and i turned him down, on the condition that i hardly knew him, and wanted to stay mates (but deep down i think i did feel somethin, but i knew my parents would not agree) the texts started again and they got even more flirty and by feb 07 i really did like him in the way he likes me, but again i turned him down due to my parents (although i did not admit that to him) we then had a while of not texting but about 3 weeks later they did start again, by then we really really did like each other, and i thought to myself, sod what everyone else thinks, i am going to go for it this time, but i knew deep down i couldnt as i think i live in fear of my parents and would always respect their opinions. he asked me to his the other day, i knew this was the time i was going to have to come clear with my mum and tell her how i felt, she told me i only enjoyed the attention and i had to stop being so silly and that she would be distraught at the thought of us dating.this really upset me, i told the lad that night nothing could happen again, expecting him to feel led on, rejected yet again for the third time, and i thought he would be nasty with me, but he wasnt, he knows the truth he knows i want him and he wants me but it cant happen because of my parents.he told me he would changed anything and give up the weed the smokin, the attitude issues in work, the bad language, but then id feel bad as i like him the way he is, dont get me wrong i disagree with weed and smokin and bad language but he was never ever like that with me, he treats me like GOLD!today he text me to say he would wait forever, but because it would slowly kill him inside, it wasnt possible and for both our sakes he said we are going to have to put a stop to it now. i asked where it leaves us, as i would fully understand if he felt we couldnt even be mates, but ever since i have felt like my life has ended, i really want to give him a chance, but i jus don't know how to deal with it, are my parents correct? should i give him a chance? can a relationship work if your parents disagree? i feel its probably best to leave it, now he as accepted that, but we both know its not what either of us want. i know this is long but please help me!
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male
reader, tommy2k7 +, writes (19 March 2007):
 I would like to get into a relatonship with a 17 and a half yr old (I'm 27) but she says that her parents would disown her f they found out. If we do get into a relatonshp, I'll just have to make them see (or try to) that I know how to treat their daughter well.
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (18 March 2007):
 If this guy feels the way he says he does about you, then he would be prepared to make the sacrifice and give you and him a little space and time to mature.The chances are that you parents will never come round to the fact that you and he feel this way about each other, but trying to have a relationship with someone your parents disapprove of even if, behind their backs, is REALLY difficult, and makes life difficult. If he came round to the house, your parents would make him feel unwelcome and make you feel the same. Perhaps a few years apart, maturing will do the trick. I was seeing someone whome my parents HATED, and I did this behind their back. Eventually it came out and my parents and I had a really tough year or so. During that time, we decided to break it off and that we would see where we were in a couple of years. If it was meant to be, then we would both feel that way still and it would work out. We met up again, almost two years later. We both "thought" we felt the same, started seeing each other again, and within 3 months, we gave up. We found out that we were more infatuated with the attention, and also the thrill of keeping the relationship secret, that we didnt really love each other.Think seriously about it. You are far too young to get yourself into a position where you disappoint your parents and sacrifice your relationship with your parents for something that may not last!
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