A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am a 29yr old married woman that has a very healthy sex drive. My husband on the other hand I don’t know what’s the matter with him. If I leave sex up to him, we’d have relations once a month. In anger I have in the past told him that if he doesn’t please me that I’ll have to find it elsewhere. He just ducked his head?! I try to be a good wife in cooking for him, cleaning the house etc, but it hurts to feel this way. I do the romantic candles and a sexy outfit and of course we do have sex but im hurt that im always the one initiating it =( I know he’s not being unfaithful, but im so tired of his passiveness, it makes me want to cry and scream. He was such a sex machine in our early 20s. I’m scared that I’ll be hitting 30 soon and I heard that 30-35 is a woman’s most intense sexual craving; her peak! My husband’s is lowering and mine is increasing. I don’t want to resort to a vibrator – what do I do; any suggestions?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Midge  +, writes (19 March 2007):
 Firstly, you're not alone. I am 31 and my boyfriend is 41. We are in the same boat at present as his sex drive is almost gone and mine is, as you say, at its peak.
At first I thought it was something I had done, or not done. Then we found out that he had a fear of sex and intimacy. When we first started seeing each other, you would never have thought that, but as time went on, it got progressively worse, and eventually our sex life was almost gone.
You need to find out if there is an underlying problem. Sometimes they dont show themselves until much later, so it could be something that is only rearing its ugly head now. If there is an underlying problem no amount of sexy lingerie and being romantic will make it change, it has to come from him. He needs to deal with any issues he has, but that means talking openly to one another.
Trust me when I say its not going to be easy, but in the end your relationship will be so much stronger, and when you do have sex, its the best sex ever!
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