A
male
age
30-35,
*bx123
writes:How to deal with a friend who feels like they are too smart for their own good? So I have this friend who is always trying to out smart someone and it is starting to annoy me. Is father was a business man in South Africa and the father is always talking about strategy and you should always try to control a conversation and a situation. One day he was telling me to get people to do this you have to do that. I'm saying to myself that if you want someone to do something why don't you just ask for it instead of manipulating people. I kind of notice that my friend is the same way after I met his father. Now, I try to avoid him and his family because I don't want those kind of people around me. If I try to confront him about about it he is going to want to have a counter argument because everything is a competition for him. Oh, he's very good at throwing people under the bus and he loves attention. What should I do Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2014): Change the bus route!and you drive
A
female
reader, CoopakaCupid  +, writes (13 May 2014):
Hi, I have a very similar friend who will never admit she is wrong and is constantly arguing with us and even strangers, she constantly tries to belittle other people and has recently become very rude and arrogant. We all hate her when she is like this and have many times confronted her but again she turns it into an argument.
The best thing to do, which is something I have recently done is to just slowing start removing myself from their life and not argue or comment just ignore and eventually I will just become nothing to her, which after 15 years is a hard thing to do. But unless they realise I think we should make new friends.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 May 2014):
 If he would throw his friends under the bus, then he's not really a friend.
I would try to reach out to him one final time and ask him what is most valuable.. always winning an argument and manipulating people in to getting what he wants, or having true friends in his life that he can trust?
Give him some time to think about it. If he wants friendship, he will reach out. If he stops contact, just let him go.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2014): If he attempts a confrontation, don't engage him. One way to get someone's attention who doesn't wish to be bothered; is to put them on the defensive. That is a form of manipulation and intimidation. Which is likely to be a tactic he will use.
If there is no reaction to his curt remarks or insults; and if he receives no argument in retaliation. He is thereby dis-empowered.
Go no contact.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 May 2014):
 Friends come and go, let this one go.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (13 May 2014):
 He sounds very insecure. Having to win every argument, manipulate, etc. Clearly this guy has issues. Maybe he feels under pressure to be as good as his father and that makes him insecure and to keen to prove himself?
Maybe he thinks he is above others because eh comes from a family who have done well?
The whys and wherefores don't really matter. He is bad news so stay away. Plenty of decent friends out there and im sure you already have plenty.
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A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (13 May 2014):
 Hi SBX,
Count your blessing you know this now, move on very quickly as he will turn into his father.
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