A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I hope this doesn't sound bad, but does anyone see anything wrong with going to places with your mother a lot ?. My mother and I have been to a lot of gigs together over the years. I am 30 and she is 55. I guess sometimes people can think that a parent can cramp your style. I do love my mum ,and we get on well, but I know that a lot of people around my age hang out with friends instead of their parents. I don't have a lot of friends.I'm going to a gig tomorrow with my mum. I know that she likes the kind of music that this band does. I'm not sure if any of my friends would like it though.One thing that worries me though is that last time I went to this pub, a guy tried to talk to me, and my mum told him that we didn't want to speak to him ( she told him politely ). I think she was a bit scared that he might have been creepy. However, some people aren't creepy. I think it would be good to try and make new friends at this gig. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, llifton  +, writes (10 May 2014):
 I see absolutely nothing wrong with hanging out with your mom. If you two have that close of a relationahip, more power to you. Sounds awesome.
If you are interested in making friends and meeting people while you're out, however, you may just need to ask her to lay low about brushing people off this time. However, she probably just thought she was doing you a favor. All you have to do is mention it ahead of time this time.
Have fun.
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (9 May 2014):
 I think at 30 plus a parent/"child" relationship is very different from when we are younger. AS teenagers we are embarrassed at being seen out with our parents and as young adults feel like we are being shown up as immature if our parents pick us up after a party. But once we reach full adulthood we become very similar to our parents and the mental age gap closes a lot. I don't have many friends and spend a lot of time in the company of my mom and dad. If other people have a problem with that then tough. If you are meeting friends or co-workers then I would be less willing to have a parent come along. Especially if its a situation where your friends might want to talk about men, sex, etc and be embarrassed doing so in front of an older person. The only real issue is if you are looking to meet someone of the opposite sex. I would feel a little put off trying to approach someone who was with there parent(s) as I would feel under pressure to both click with the person and gain approval from the parent.As for your mom telling a man you didn't want to speak to her, well if she is constantly doing that then she needs to be told to give you some space in that respect and let you chat to people. But bear in mind she is older, wiser and more experienced and may be seeing something is not right with a guy before you do. The only problem I have is that my dad gets women flirt with him more than I do :-( I took my 89 year old granddad for a drink when I was about 30 and an odd middle aged bloke in the pub winked at me, looked my very old granddad up and down excitedly, and said "hello boys! Do the two of you fancy a good time?" ;-)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 May 2014):
 I don't see anything wrong with going out with your mother. I've done it on some occasions, and it's never been problematic in any way. People are different, she didn't tell the guy off because she's your mother... It's just what some people do. I've been hanging at bars with friends my own age who have told guys to take a hike because they don't want to talk to them. So that's got nothing to do with her being your mom, and everything to do with her being who she is.
If she brushes off every guy that wants to talk to you, and you're actually interested in talking to these guys, you should have a word with her about this prior to going out.
My mom would just walk away and leave me with whatever dude was talking to me. One time we were out she encouraged me to leave her and go bar hopping with my cousin to chat up guys... (we were with more people, she wouldn't be alone, but anyway). See, it's just a difference in personality, nothing to do with her being your mom.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): OP it'd only be a problem if you were a teenager or she was embarrassing.
At our age mothers are just regular women, my mother is tonnes of fun and still knows how to party. My friends think she's cooler than me.
Just tell her next time you're out to not act like a mother and if there's a guy who wants to talk to you both, don't dismiss him.
That's the only problem I see here, OP, if she's overprotective in that regard then that'll be a fun killer.
That's the only problem I'd have, or if she was spitting onto tissue and using it to clean my face like when you're a kid.
Just let your mom know you're going out as women, not as mother and daughter, she has to let you have fun with guys and talk to them without being a mother about it.
Other than that who better to take out than someone who will 100% have your back, you have a lot in common with, have fun with, can laugh and joke with and know better than anyone? My mother is great fun to have out with me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2014): Then tell your mum that. She's only trying to protect you (and possibly herself; she may end up as a third wheel if you find a friend there), but you need to let her know that, whilst you want to continue spending time with her, you're not a child any more and you do want to be free to talk to people.
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