A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts,There is a guy who I like and who likes me but we are just friends. He shares his dreams, his personal goals and encourages me to try to get the best in life. However lately, he has mentioned that he would like to have kids when he is atleast 30 and presently he is 27. He throws the word pregnant at me in various forms for e.g. When I was sick and I told him i Threw up, he said "You arent pregnant baby" , and when I sent him a pic of me , "you would make one hot pregnant woman" and not too mention that one time he looked at me and said you are so skinny, you cant hold a baby , can you"? So I just want to know, does his obsession with using the word pregnant means he wants a kid or does it mean he wants to have a kid with me??? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (21 September 2014):
 As long as you know WHAT you want and stick to your plan, and if he KEEPs bringing up babies, just tell him :" good luck with that. I'm not having any babies til I'm good and ready."
Or just keep changing the subject.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone. We both have feelings for eachother but nothing is going to happen because we both want to go away and study @mark, you are right,a baby is a big resbonsiblity and it a lot.@youwish I agree it can be sex but I believe he wants to see what I think about the subjects and he strikes me as one looking for an ideal life partner.@honeypie; no he doesn't have a gf nor is he married , its a small world where we are from anf I've already digged up the place but like I said right now we have to focus on creating a future for ourselves and a baby is better left for later when I am absolutely sure that I am ready and it is planned for.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 September 2014):
 I don't see what difference it makes, since you two are not even dating- leave alone committed or married.
Whether he wants a baby in general, or he wants a baby from you, why, would you be so kind to make him a baby just because he wants one ??...
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 September 2014):
Guys can get broody too. And he seems VERY keen on babies, but like YouWish said, I think it's more him trying to use power of suggestion to GET INTO your pants.
Whether HE wants a kid or a kid with you is IRRELEVANT! If you don't LOVE him and if you are NOT in a relationship with him or planning to marry him - then kids should be NO concern of yours. Don't let him TRY and CON you into having HIS kids because he is feeling broody.
From what you write it doesn't sounds like you two are dating or even serious. Is he married or having a GF already?
Don't have a baby with anyone till YOU are ready and ABLE for it. For the financial and personal sacrifices you will have to make. And certainly not with "some guy you like".....
...............................
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (20 September 2014):
 Actually, I think he just wants to have sex with you, especially if he's calling you "baby" and such. It's also possible that he's quietly testing your compatibility with him as well. If he's interested in you for a relationship and he wants kids, he may be gauging your interest in having them as well.
But most of the time when guys are making comments like that, what's on their mind is the process of MAKING the baby.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (20 September 2014):
 You describe this man as being "a guy who I like", rather than describing him as a boyfriend or husband. You describe him as someone you get on with, enjoy the company of, etc but you don't once mention commitment or love. Those are two things that a baby needs along with emotional and financial stability and many other things.
The fact this guy keeps making these comments does suggest he is keen to have a child BUT it sounds more like he wants a baby to tick of one of his dreams/ambitions (ie a baby before 30) than because he feels its the right thing to do.
Babies should be made within a relationship, not a friendship or a sexual friendship. You need to speak to him and tell him you are concerned that he keeps mentioning pregnancy and make it clear its not going to happen. You don't want to be left in a right mess when he realises a baby is a human being not just a target to be met by a certain age.
Mark
...............................
|
