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Why would an apparently happily married person claim that they are in a "complicated" relationship?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Family, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 September 2014) 7 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2014)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

When somebody puts on facebook that they are in a complicated relationship, but they still live together, go to family gatherings together.

What does it really mean?

Obviously they are still going out as couple but is it that they are having problems in the relationship and dont actually know if it's going to work out etc?

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A female reader, Vianneeey Australia +, writes (17 September 2014):

1. Because they actually not happy & want to get out of it

or

2. Attention seeker. It sounds to me like they're saying: look guys, we actually are not that perfect, come pay attention to us.

or

3. They have problems which they need suggestions from other people but don't know how to ask. So they put their status complicated to make people approach them and ask what happened.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (17 September 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntPerhaps they are swingers.... then it really is complicated. Or one of them is bisexual and has a lover on the side with permission.

Either way I have another vote for Honeypie's answer...

why does it matter?

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntAnother vote for Honeypies answer.

Sounds like the person concerned is trying to sound mature and grown up by suggest their life is complex and their relationship involved. In reality they come across as attention seeking, drama queens.

Do you like the person concerned? Are you secretly hoping it means the complications will pave the way for you ? not gonna happen.

Good job I don't use Facebook! I find going to the toilet complicated let alone a relationship.

Mark

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (17 September 2014):

eyeswideopen agony auntI'm with Honeypie, why does this matter to you? Why do you ask this question?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntDoes it matter? They are STILL married and STILL doing things together.

And... IT IS FACEBOOK! Whenever I see someone put "complicated" as a status I think DRAMA QUEENS Or ATTENTION MONGERS! It's a LOOK at me!! kind of statement.

Marriage (like any relationship) can get complicated, but why post it on Facebook I have no idea.

One thing I CAN tell you is to NOT get involved with a married guy/woman, no matter his/her "FACEBOOK" status.

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A female reader, RubyBirtle United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2014):

No. I don't think it necessarily means that a couple's relationship is unstable. Especially if they appear to be behaving like a normal couple to the average onlooker. Sure, there can be troubles within a marriage that people can cover up in public but then they wouldn't destroy that facade by advertising it on facebook. Generally, people use facebook to make their lives look better, not advertise their woes.

Most people I know that select the "it's complicated" option simply do so because they feel that all the other options don't define their relationship adequately.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2014):

I've always thought that was used as a joke kind of relationship status. I'm not sure why you would want to broadcast your marital problems to everyone?

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