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I thought I hit it off well with online guy but then he stopped texting. I'd like to know why!

Tagged as: Online dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 September 2014) 4 Answers - (Newest, 17 September 2014)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I met this guy online. We totally hit it off. I am extremely attracted to him. We communicated through text. Then all of a sudden he stop texting me. When we were texting he was working so sometimes He took awhile to respond and sometimes I took awhile to respond when I was working. The pictures I sent him he said he like. The last one I sent he said he likes it bt he wanted to see one without the flash .. And that was the last I heard from him. I responded and asked when are we going to video chat because he mentioned that before but our schedules never allowed it. I didn't know much about him but what I knew, I liked. I liked a lot! He never responded when I asked about video chat so I texted him a day later and ask how he was doing and he still never responded. It's been a week and I miss our conversations and I was hoping things would go further. Should I reach out to him again ? He seemed like such a cool guy. Am I over thinking everything? He was always busy and so was i, so I wonder if that's why he never responded. Even if he's not interested I would like to know without coming off to strong. I hate the frustration of not knowing and he probably has no idea I liked him as much as I do? What do I do? I think of him everyday. I don't think his intentions are to hurt my feelings but I don't know why someone would all of a sudden stop textin when things seem to b going good

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (17 September 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think it's a case of greener grass. The guy might have been chatting to more girls than you and if he met up with one of the others he might have decided to give HER a try. And instead of letting you know, he is just not talking to you anymore, figuring that you will get the hint. This is more of a "girl" kind of "trick" because they don't want to HURT others they just don't talk to them, but some guys will do it too.

And I have to say WiseOwlE is right, you were getting attached to an imaginary person. Honestly anyone can look good on "paper". And sound interesting and interested.

So don't let that fool you.

Also be vary with with kind of pictures you send to strangers. A friend of one of my nieces found her picture on a "sexchat" site. So be careful. Not everyone is who they say they are.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2014):

Let me tellu something. For me regardless if u met someone from online or in real its just the same.

Meaning if you are not on the same page thete would be waiting n confusion. Its not really confusing, u just chose to confuse yourself.

His making you wait. Red red flag. His not into u. He wad just bored when he text u n just being nice. But not the way u expect him to be.

Or in the same way u feel for him.

If he does.. trust me you will never have the time to write here n ask why. You will be busy adored by him.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2014):

You have to remember that pics and profiles are not always exactly the same person you're in contact with. You've never met this guy; so he was able to compile everything you needed and wanted in a guy, and put it in an e-mail or text message. You've never met him, so you can't like him so much.

Until you've met him in-person a few times, you are attached to an "imaginary person." He has avoided visual exposure; because he may not be the person you see in the profile picture, or he may look much differently in-person.

What's most disconcerting is how you've gotten so attached without even meeting someone. That makes you very vulnerable to internet trolls and scam-artists. You cannot possibly read DC, and have never run across similar situations to yours from other OP's.

The advice isn't going to be any different. We will consistently warn you to remain grounded in reality. Believe only what you witness with your own eyes, and hear with your own ears, and feel with your own sense of touch.

People on the internet will take advantage of your naivete; and they will play you if they know they've got someone gullible and desperate on the other end. Not saying you are, but your posts certainly gives that impression.

He's in-touch with several different women at the same time and making his rounds to the ones he likes most. He is avoiding letting you see him for a reason. He enjoys manipulating your feelings; and feeding on your affections and adoration.

It's a tactic if he simply disappears without a word. It's to allow desperation and panic to build; then he suddenly comes back out of no-where. With some feasible excuse. We get posts like yours every single day. Wise-up or don't date online. You can't afford not to be vigilant and careful. You can't be desperate or needy. That makes you easy prey.

You have to be wise to players; or they'll mess with your head; or could be seriously hurt by some online predator who knows how to manipulate lonely women.

If you gut tells you something isn't right about how some guy behaves, don't sit around all confused and worried. Ditch him and move on to someone else. If you are left confused or upset; you're messing with the wrong guy. Block him and move on. Let the guy on the other end always know he's dealing with someone intelligent, secure, and careful.

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A male reader, Mark1978 United Kingdom +, writes (17 September 2014):

Mark1978 agony auntIm afraid this is a reoccurring issue with internet dating. There is plenty of reasons he didn't respond...maybe he met someone else as most people talk to more than one person online, perhaps he lost interest or realized you were not for him or maybe he is one of those time waster types.

You never actually met him so for all you know he could be married or have kids (that he hasn't told you about) or perhaps he suffers from mental health issues, and addiction, rebound/insecurity problems or is scared of commitment or isn't who he says he is.

You have lost nothing. You liked him for the person you saw through emails and texts. You saw what he wanted to allow you to see, rather than the real person. Texts, emails and so forth are not the same as real life.

Please move on from this and let it go. Not worth frustrating and upsetting yourself asking why.

Mark

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