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SITE NEWS: Had DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? I want to hear your stories...

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Question - (2 March 2007) 38 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2007)
A male United Kingdom, *earCupid writes:

Has DearCupid changed your life in a positive way? If so, please let me know.

Either post here (anon if you prefer) or send me a private mail.

Sometimes when I'm coding at midnight or tinkering with an errant database, or wondering why I spend so much time doing this, I need a "lift" that persuades me I'm doing the right thing.

This thread will be that (errr... I hope!)

[PS. thanks as always to the moderators who volunteer their time!]

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007):

Have to say that without a doubt, DearCupid has probably saved me from doing something stupid. Any one who's seen my post will know how much I'm struggling but the help and advice from everyone and knowing I'm not alone has really kept me going - Thanks, Dean

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A male reader, DearCupid United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2007):

DearCupid is verified as being by the original poster of the question

DearCupid agony auntThanks to everyone for their super feedback, very much appreciated :-)

Don't forget to tell your friends about the site.

A.

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

This site is a truly marvelous idea. Not only have I had some great advice from people. When i have felt really down and on my own with a problem, I come onto here and I feel better. Its like being surounded with tons of friends, silly I know, but thats how I feel. I have given advice to a few, and felt great for trying to help. You should feel great for doing this, you would not believe how many people you have helped.

WELL DONE YOU

XXXXXXXXXXXX

P.S can we have a spell check, mine is awfull XXXXX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

I really am so glad I found this site, I think its great! Some of the agony aunts are just fantastic, and gave me advice which I knew was sensible, but hadn't been able to carry out until that point - they affirmed I was doing the right thing. I felt a lot better about the whole thing after getting advice here, and I do like the fact that you can post anon. as well! So thank you for all your hard work!! =)

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A female reader, artlover United States +, writes (6 March 2007):

artlover agony auntI am over the moon about your site. It is helping me through a hard time. keeping me distracted from my cell phone. so thankyou thankyou thankyou.

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A female reader, TakeItOrLeaveIt South Africa +, writes (6 March 2007):

TakeItOrLeaveIt agony aunthhey! yes this site has been great, it rocks!!!!

Not only are there people who help you with what you are going thru, some of them have actually experienced it and some people are experiencing the same things.

It also makes me feel better cos some of these problems get me down and it makes me think the worst of myself! Knowing that there are others as well makes me feel less of a problem child. i also enjoy helping other people out! Thanks i'm so glad i found this site really its awesome

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A female reader, mum2be United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2007):

Andrew, this site rocks! it helped me not to feel so down coz i am helping others. All i can say is... Dude... u rock!

all the best

xxxxxxxx

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A female reader, Jovial South Africa +, writes (6 March 2007):

Jovial agony auntHi

Andrew I think this site is truly amazing, it has helped me to see life in a different percepective, all the aunts here are so sweet and open minded atleast to all the questions i have asked. and that is what gave me courage to help others in this site. it has always made me feel that there is someone here who will listen and understand what I am going thru without passing any judgement and this has given me a lot of commfort in my terrible situation.

This site is really special and unique for that I applaud you Andrew for being so zealous in your work!

Jovial

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007):

Oh my, Andrew...what a wonderful site! This site has really changed my perspective on many different issues and I am so grateful for all the many, many wonderful Aunts and Uncles who lend of their spare time to voice their thoughts and opinions. It has been a great life learning experience to hear other sides of so many, tough, heartfelt issues... and I think it teaches all of us to keep an open mind and a compassionate heart. Great job, Andrew.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (5 March 2007):

TasteofIndia agony auntDear Andrew,

This site is really... well, really something. Even though I've never asked any questions, this site makes me feel better about myself. It makes me feel like, even though I'm just cruising the web, I'm still helping people. It's great that we're connected with people all over the world with all kinds of different perspectives. We've got gay, straight, black, white, older, younger people all coming together to help others straighten out their lives.

Everytime I read a followup or get a message saying "thank you, you really helped." or something along those lines, it fills my heart up with happiness. You've given a lot of people something to feel good about, to feel proud of. Not to mention, you're helping a lot of people with their personal lives.

You work really hard and I think it's great. World wide, people are getting help and answers at anytime they need them. You are quite the guy!

You're amazing, and Dear Cupid is a fabulous website. You're helping people sort out their heads right now as I type this. That's why you're so incredible. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

xxIndia

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2007):

ANDREW - you are doing a marvellous job. I happened upon the site last year. I wanted (and still do) to help victims of partner battering (it's not just wives who get beaten). I feel i have a lot to give to battered partners as i was one for a number of years and have a lot of empathy and good sound advice to give to people. I tripped over the site and read some of the problems and thought, hey, i can offer some advice to others. I have had some lovely letters emailed to me which have made it feel all worthwhile. I work, but i do try and spend all my breaktime, spare time and lunchbreaks answering questions.

So Andrew, i want to say a big THANK YOU for this site, it is so essential in this day and age. I wish there had been something like this when i was doing my crying in the night, long ago now, thankfully.

Many thanks Andrew

xx

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A female reader, nicola79 United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2007):

nicola79 agony auntWell I joined this sight a fiew weeks ago,im off work at the moment wating for a back opp and was feeling board and wanted to do somthing differant and just by chance I found this web site and thought WHY NOT.

I cant believe how lovely people here are,even though I havnt met anyone of you,its nice to be around you all.

Also thankyou to anybody who has rated me because im climbing up there and cant believe it.Im so so glad that I can help people and its lovely when I get a comment back saying thankyou or asking for more advise.

I love to come on to this site and look down the list,so I can start my advise to people.

Thankyou Dear Cupid for allowing me to be part of your team.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A female reader, Farris United Kingdom +, writes (4 March 2007):

Farris agony auntI joined Dear Cupid when I wanted advice on a situation I was in... It's so simple to completely spill out your deepest darkest feelings without any worry of how it will effect the people you love; after all, the internet is pretty anonymous. But ever since then, I keep coming back to answer other people's problems.

I just remember the first replies that I got for my problem; it felt so good knowing that there are people out there that want to help. That's why I keep answering other's questions; I want other people to feel that way.

Thank you for a great site.

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A female reader, Lemonpixie United States +, writes (4 March 2007):

Lemonpixie agony auntI think this site is so incredible. Being a Psychology grad, (still getting my masters though) it's absolutely helped me in my 'real-life sessions' with clientele during my internship. I love seeing different opinions on the same issue. And being an Agony Aunt here really has expanded my knowledge in the counseling field. I've also asked a few questions for myself and the other Agony Aunts are amazing. They have helped me through a few rough patches in life. This site has made me a better counselor, it's shown in my work, even my professors and clients have noticed. It's helped me look at issues with a little more perspective... Thank you so much... and if you ever need help maintaining this site im sure a bunch of us would be willing to lend a hand or two!

Cheer up mate,

Lemonpixie

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A male reader, Mr.B United States +, writes (4 March 2007):

It helps. I think we all have an answer but it helps to have another persons point of view.

It's hard really to know or explain a situation without writing a chapter on an issue. Some people just don't get the whole picture either.

However on this site there is a sense of responsibility and intellect, not like on MSN. (complete morons)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

i think this site is so beneficial 4 every1 particularly 4 the ppl who don't realize there is help out there and there's ppl who care before i discovered this site i had so many problems bottled up that were having a bad long term effect on me n i was too nervous too tell any1 and then i realized i could easily let it off my chest here and i didn't feel embarrassed anymore cause ppl didnt have to know it was me and generally i think if you know ppl are behind you supporting you it makes you feel confident and now im a really confident, happy person compared to who i used to be this site makes all the difference, it lets people express different points of view and encourages ppl to ask for help it's such a gd idea it makes all the difference:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

I think this site is fantastic because it's helped give me perspective on some troubling issues and is improving my relationship with my mate. The anonymous factor is great, too, because I can ask anything I want and not be embarrassed. It helps to know that people out there have similar issues and that there are excellent agony aunts & uncles to put things into proper perspective. Sometimes I wonder if I am being completely unreasonable about something in my relationship so I go on this site and ask for help and I get confirmation from a bunch of people that yes, I am indeed being unreasonable. This helps me and especially my mate. Thank you for your ingenious idea and all your hard work and are you the only one monitoring it, because that must be a lot of work!!!

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A female reader, baby blue fairy United Kingdom +, writes (3 March 2007):

yh i rele think dear cupid has changed my life im not going into details but lets just say it has given me i different outlook on life with just little advice id like to thank you (andrew0 and everyone who has taken time to help me out your site is great and i wouldnt be without it thanx xxxx

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (3 March 2007):

kenny agony auntHi Andrew,

I think this site is truly excellent. I have posted a couple of questions on here in the past with some brilliant advice from people from all walks of life. Since then i have joined and become an agony aunt myself and have never looked back. I

now love helping others the best way i can, giving advice on some serious matters, and some light hearted ones.

Thank you again for creating a truly inspirational web site that i hope will go on for many years to come.

Cheers

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

Sadi, When have you seen suicide questions? As I understand only professionals can deal with that sort of question. And moderators are not allowed to approve suicide questions.

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A male reader, Dagwood South Africa +, writes (3 March 2007):

Dagwood agony auntHi Andrew! Well done, this site has been a real life saver for me! I've seen that we are so many out there that sometimes lose our way in life or just need a little guidance. We get advice from so many different angles it puts things in perspective. Also in helping others "heal" or find their way we also help ourselves! Thanks for the great work, please keep it up and if you ever need any help don't hesitate to ask! Cheers Dagwood.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

This site is extraordinary because of the anon factor - this gives us the chance to lay out our problems fully and exactly as we see it ourselves which we would not be able to do with family as friends as we know they would have their own "take" on our situation - the whole story can be exposed knowing that there will be a range of answers that try their best to give good guidance - we know there will be some judgemental but it doesnt matter we want that honesty - generally there is a real attempt to give balanced advice. This site offers an emotional therapy that cannot be found elsewhere when we need it the most...Would like to read more followups but I suspect that this site is actually a window on life that shows we are all the same - trying to cope with our problems that evolve from larger to smaller to larger etc. It is fascinating and extremely educational reading...should be on all teenagers school curriculum...

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A female reader, Sadi +, writes (3 March 2007):

Sadi agony auntI think this site has helped EVERYONE who has ever wrote here. I had read some frightening things on this site.. Example... People wanting to commit suicide, People breaking up with there loved ones over something rather stupid, people wanting to hurt others, people who are really in a tough spot... I believe this site helps everyone out.. You can look for advice here, and you can give advice here. Its incredably genious.. So Dear Cupid, THANK YOU for the wonderful Idea oif setting this site up..

~ Sadi

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A reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

I came across Dear Cupid by just entering almost random significant words during an intense period of lonliness in my life. Although I have a couple of close friends, they have their lives to lead and I was desperate for someone to talk to and ask about my problems. having done some training in counselling myself I am aware that such intense convoluted problems need to be gone over and over, sometimes seeming repetative to others but until our troubled mind grasps a solution and a way forward, bouncing them off different Cupid members does help in some ways to address this. On the other hand, when self-esteem is at rock bottom, a glib or no response can be so destructive. I currently am waiting a response from someone and the absence of it after several days makes me feel I am not worthy of a reply. On the other hand common sense tells me this is rubbish, but when you are in that mind set and feeling alone and desperate it can also confirm negative thoughts when you continually log in to DearCupid and find no response. In spite of that, I have made several email friends over the past year I have felt so isolated and one in particular has stood the ground with me. It is a two way street and it has been therapetic to be able to help others whilst also being helped myself. I am feeling lighter now, but DearCupid has been a life saver during the past year of darkness and often despair that has left me planning my own death on more than one occasion and DearCupid has been there 24hrs during those times to help me through. Thank-you XXXXXX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2007):

This site has been great for me over the past year with an age gap relationship. It's helpful to find other people who went through similar experiences, and it's also really nice to help those who are a few steps behind me too...

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A male reader, moomoomoo United States +, writes (2 March 2007):

moomoomoo agony auntawesome place to pass the time, i learned a lot from other people and about life, so i feel like i'm a lot more knowledgeable

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A female reader, melschatbox United States +, writes (2 March 2007):

melschatbox agony auntYes, DearCupid is a great resource for communication. Getting views on your problems or giving advice from different parts of the world....what else can you say?? That's awesome technology. Having this site doesn't allow you to feel alone with your problems.

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A female reader, Pammie +, writes (2 March 2007):

Andrew,

This site is amazing! I've had so much help on personal problems... ;-)

I think it's somewhere where everyone can feel that they have a friend to talk to...someone who will do their best to use their life experiences in helping others.

I think it's an amazing idea, and it's the first port of call I go to whenever I have a relationship problem!

So, thanks for all the hard work you put into maintaining this site.

You do an excellent job!

Pam :-)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

This site has definitely helped me but maybe in a different way to what everyone else has said. I'm rubbish at relationships and am very rarely in one to have a relationship problem but being able to answer questions on this site gives me a tremendous sense of empowerment and I feel that however messed up my own life is, at least I am doing something good with it. I think you should feel the same only a million times more so!

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2007):

AskEve agony auntHats off to you Andrew, you do a wonderful job. All the selfless hours you work are to be commended. It's also nice when a questionner posts back to let us know how things have progressed or if our answers have helped any. That (for me personally) is very satisfying, to know that you've helped just one person in this big troubled world of ours is thanks in itself.

In answer to the anonymous poster... it would be wonderful if we could answer every question but as you know we get hundreds of new questions on here every day and it's impossible sometimes to keep up. As well as answering freely on here every day, the aunts/uncles are also inundated with personal email from people asking questions which they answer and that is very important too, the fact that they sought you out.

Also thanks have to go to all the Mods who painlessly continue to monitor the questions and answers, passing, rejecting and editing them as they see fit, so thanks Mods, keep up the good work! The questionners, the aunts/uncles, the Mods and of course the backbone of it all... ANDREW, ALL work together to make this a terrific site. Thank you!

Andrew...? I'm proud to be part of your team! ;o)

Eve

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A female reader, Yuna~ Canada +, writes (2 March 2007):

Yuna~ agony auntI cannot say how much I appreciate having a site like this for me to ask questions about problems in my relationship. Everybody needs reassurance once in a while. Everybody needs other people's opinion when trying to make a decision about what to do. I like the way how everyone is serious about helping others. They are offering the best suggestions from the bottom of their heart.

What you are doing is unbelievable. I have to say without this site, I might worry much more by myself about certain problems. I am not afraid to ask any questions, and it conforts me when receiving other people's response back to me saying: don't worry. What else can I ask for?

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A female reader, hannieseds New Zealand +, writes (2 March 2007):

hannieseds agony auntAndrew - you are awesome! The very simple fact that you had the idea to start a site like this shows what an awesomely, caring, onto-it guy you are, and the fact that it has sky-rocketed to where it is today really leaves me speechless.

The lift you need can be seen in most of the answers to questions on your site; the time people take to make DC so special and uplifting for people in need. The most active Aunts & Uncles on here will all tell you have thankful we are that we stumbled across DC and what it has enhanced our lives with can't really be put in words.

As Dr Pete said (*winks @ Dr Pete...*) you should be proud of yourself! A lot of people in this world stive to make some kind of small difference in the life of a few, but you have exceeded every boundary by making a difference across the globe to thousands! Wow! :o)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

Of course it's helped me. The people on here are so understanding. Even if they tell me something that I don't want to hear, it's refreshing to get all different viewpoints and allows me to really make a decision.

As Pete said you should be very pleased with yourself. This website is comforting, helpful and frankly just amazing. I love it and visit every single day, I get so much help. I hope you realize just how many people you're helping.

Much love Andrew!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

You should fall asleep at night (or spend the nights doing database work) feeling really pleased with yourself Andrew, i have no doubt you are helping hundreds of people in the world get through really difficult times, that's quite an achievement and you should be very proud of yourself! I personally have learnt an invaluable amount from reading and participating on this website. Keep it up! :)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

dearcupid has helped me and it feels really good just to tell someone my problems that may b embarressing or anything to anyone else :) i just want to say thank you so much for making this site! lol.

the only thing i would say is that sometimes when i ask a question agony aunts dont always answer every question. they only answwer one of them when i have asked about three in a question.

thats the only thing thats a bit annoying!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2007):

Thank you for this site, i can actully post a problem i'm facing that i don't feel comforable with sharing any of my friends and i feel i have people not judging me here. I love it! Thank you ALL for the nutral comments

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A female reader, vina_101 United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2007):

vina_101 agony auntI do like this site, I think it's great. I needed some advice way back in September and I got some excellent advice here. And I just felt a whole lot better about the whole thing. And whenever I have problems now and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it or if it's pretty embarrassing then I post an anonymous question here and I get all the help I need. Also I can give other people advice if I feel I have something to say that might help them. Or if an opinion is needed then I'll gladly give mine. Sometimes, the same problems I've had in the past I see questions here about it and I am able to relate to that and tell them how I got through it.

So no, your hard work is not going in vain I find this site very useful and I'm glad to be part of it! :)

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A female reader, PoSiOnKiSS United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2007):

PoSiOnKiSS agony auntDearCupid has changed my life in a positive way because it makes me feel like im not the only one with the same problem and that i`m not alone and i can talk about it and it helps me alot to talk about my problems aswell as give advice. The more i give advice the more i think, i`ll never do that or i know what to look out for. If someone has the same relationship issues as me then it makes things clearer for me knowing someone else understands seeing as there in the same predicament. Its helped me come to terms with alot of painful issues in my life and tlaking about it has helped me for the better. Thank you x

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