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He broke up with me because I told some friends, he and I were dating! Should I pursue him again?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 March 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2007)
A female New Zealand, *atybear writes:

I really liked this guy for ages and about a month ago we hooked up and spent some time together a couple of times. One day i gave him a call and he was really cold and not that keen to chat so i just left it deleted his number and moved on. last week i asked a mutual friend to find out what had happened on his side as i wanted closure on the issue as i had liked this guy for months. I found out from that friend that he got angry with me because i told three people that we had been hanging out and he wasn't ready for anyone to know about us yet. Then moving on to saturday that has just been i was out and about in town and his mate spoted me and pointed me out and he made an effort to move so that he could have a look at me and see what i was doing. I guess im wondering if this still means that there is an interest as i don't reslly think a girl that is so excited about being with someone that she told a couple of their mutuall friends do you? I still really like this guy but i guess am wondering if there is any point waitng to see if anything will come from it and if there is any point in persuing it in your opionion...The time that we did spend together by ourselves was really fun and special and we made each other laugh isn't that more important then when to tell people ???

Please advise

Kate

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

I would not pursue it if I were in your position. As one of the other posters pointed out, he could have asked you not to mention it to anyone else just yet (though why, if he liked you, lawd only knows) and the fact that he was abrupt when you called him does not say anything good about him.

There's other fish (and better ones!) in the sea than him!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2007):

Sounds like a real JERK!!! Lose him....he will only cause you heartache; sounds like he was just using you or that he may have more women on the side and be juggling them; not wanting them to find out about each other!!!

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A female reader, Jovial South Africa +, writes (6 March 2007):

Jovial agony auntDear Kate

in my opinion it is good riddens. why would you want to be with someone who is ashamed of you? i think he just needed a reason to tell his friends because to me his reason sound childish and very immature. this guy seem to have lots of issues to deal with unfortunately he doesnt even tell why he lost interest in you; coward i know. you are a smart girl to act the way you did so keep on what you are doing he is not worth fighting for. maybe one day he will grow up and realise what he has lost take him back if you want him or tell him to get lost. right now concentrate on yourself and whats good for you, someone who will appreciate you is out there its only a matter of time before you find each other. good luck

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A female reader, TakeItOrLeaveIt South Africa +, writes (6 March 2007):

TakeItOrLeaveIt agony auntYou really like this guy! But is it worth it? I hate to say it but maybe he is ashamed of you.

It doesnt sound like he told u he wanted it private. So the normal thing for any girl is to tell her friends about it. He should hav said to you "hey can we just wait a while before telling anyone?" He does have the right if he wants to.. to keep it quiet for a while. maybe he is just shy but thats something he should have explained to you.

Another thing... why couldnt he have just told you what was wrong on the phone? he should have let you know that it was bothering him that you told your friends. Its really immature of him. You shouldnt have found out from someone else.

Seriously girl.. forget about him. Find someone who communicates with you better and who is not ashamed. Good luck !

xXx

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A female reader, mum2be United Kingdom +, writes (6 March 2007):

If i were you, honey, i would try to move on. This guy sounds like he wants a relationship when it suits him, not when it suits anyone else. You should not have to keep your feelings for eachother secret at all, and he should not lead you on like that.

There are plenty more lovely people out there, who will treat you with the respect that you deserve, and you shouldn't worry yourself with people like him.

All the best with your future endeavours!

xxx

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