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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have shaped my personality in to being a person, a part of which people in my family and some members in society have rejected or find it inappropriate for the fear of being criticized, abused, etc. But i am quite confident in the way i am and this becomes a challenge for people, who try to look at me with an eye of judgement and criticism. Moreover, i feel intense pain, frustration, anger and hatred for those who try to look at me with such judgemental attitude.Please advice on how do i deal with this situation. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2007): It seems that it is not me, but my family members who are wearing a facade of false confidence, just by making themselves associate with me in some way or the other. They themselves have a very poor and disturbed family life and hence take pleasure in abusing others or making fun of personal lives of people after associating with them. I have tried hard to cut off my contacts with them but they seem to find out some way or the other to associate with me, may it be even under the pretext of fixing a computer or offering unnecessary assistance. They are extremely insecure and enter in to abusive behavior for the same reason. I need God's assistance as well to fight this tyranny...
A
male
reader, sleepyhollow  +, writes (25 May 2007):
Your projection of confidence may be at odds with your actual accomplishments in the eyes of others.
Be sure that your confidence that you feel is a result of your achievements rather than a facade, a veneer thinly painted over a mediocre life.
And don't take this too harshly, it isn't meant as such. I'm just pointing out that perhaps what you need to do is work harder at doing things of which you can rightfully be proud of, and which people can admire as the result of your work, your skills, and dedication. Just being smart isn't enough.
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A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (25 May 2007):
 your post doesnt portray any trace of confidence to me. dont get me wrong if you are so confident about yourself what do you care about people's negativity towards you? i think if you allow their judgemental eyes to put you down like this i would say you have a very low self esteem and until you boost it you will always feel intimidated by those eyes.
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