What was he really asking me? Did I misread him
Q. Ok, this may be a dumb question. I'm European so it may be a cultural thing but I wanted to ask here. I've been seeing this guy, last night was the 2nd time we had sex. We did a LOT of foreplay which I'm almost not used to. He loves to kiss an...
A. 12 September 2015: He wanted whatever you want. Many men love to please a woman they desire so since you two are new to sex he does not know what eases you in bed. So whatever you said was the right answer for that moment. Hopefully you enjoyed it. ... (read in full...)
Love of my life - fight or flight?
Q. Hi, I could do with some help and advice I've been with my boyfriend/partner for 7 years, and we've been living together for 6. We've had our ups and downs, a few times we have nearly ended things. More recently he has become hot headed, selfish,...
A. 12 September 2015: I know of 2 similar situations like yours where a happy, loving couple gradually grew apart by man's drinking which, like your guy, changed him into a neglectful and scary man.
In the first case, the woman simply left the house, went to live wit... (read in full...)
Should I go for it and have a threesome with my boyfriend and girlfriend?
Q. Need open and none judgemental advice people. I have a boyfriend and a gf. They both know about each other and they are both ok with the situation. The reason why I have two was I met them both within a week of each other and was "dating" like you ...
A. 12 September 2015: Given that you find monogamy irrelevant and that you have structured your life such that polygamy is what satisfies you then why do you need anybody to approve of what you have already set for yourself and solicit from people here to acquiesce to ... (read in full...)
Porn and sex, why doesn't he want to touch me or do anything with me?
Q. My boyfriend has been watching porn since 13 all the way to 23. We started dating and he stopped shortly after. Our sex life is terrible still. When we first started dating he couldn't get off, it was hard to get him aroused then he lost it. He ...
A. 9 September 2015: Idk if your guy is permanently damaged, but many studies show that porn carves up abnormal neural pathways in the brain rendering the watcher incapable of having REAL sexual pleasure and unable to sustain an affectionate relationship. These studies ... (read in full...)
Can anyone give me feedback on taking Xanax?
Q. This is a health question, but I'm hoping to get some opinion. At the last few month , I'm having a very bad time, with numerous health complains, but when I go for tests, everything looks ok. The doctor is running of ideas, what could be wr...
A. 9 September 2015: I used to take Xanex on occasion at your low dose just to "relax" from the world and sleep through few days. I've stopped because it gives me a depressed overhang next few days: I feel down and not good. I have friends who are on it and like you ... (read in full...)
I can't let him go and I'm having trouble detaching from my ex. What should I do?
Q. I was with my ex-fiance for 3 years. He had rage issues which caused me to leave. He would pound his fists into his own head (very hard) in anger at me, he'd scream at me, etc but he never actually hit me. I was sad and felt trapped at times, b...
A. 7 September 2015: From what you describe your ex has an anger/rage disorder and he needs to be medicated. Therapists could help only after getting on medication, meaning after he gets a grip on himself and only to help him manage the anger episodes. Look up ... (read in full...)
Came across a conversation between my husband and his friend and I think he's cheating on me
Q. I need help? My husband and I have been together for 7 years. And we have been married for only 4. I fell in love with him as a person and for his sense of humor. I never had a problem trusting him until the other night....I came home from my next ...
A. 4 September 2015: Well now you locked yourself in s box which is why I said not to confront. What did you get from confronting? Nothing except that you made it worse.
Now he will go out of his way to hide the fact that he cheats with men. This exposes you more to ... (read in full...)
I got back from a trip to find another man's pair of underwear in my bed. Do I believe my wife's story?
Q. came home from a week long trip found a pair of men's underwear in my bed that weren't mine. Was told they got mixed in laundry and got there when she made the bed. What's the answer? ...
A. 3 September 2015: The answer is that you need to investigate the story because it does not add up. I would not confront or flip on her but put in prudent traces such check through her phone, look through her phone bill in past few months, examine the bill for texts, ... (read in full...)
I hit my wife. What can I do now to make her realize that I'm sorry?
Q. I need help. My wife and I have been in heated arguments near the beginning of our marriage (we're going on 6 years) which led to abuse. Both physical and emotional. I love her to death and can't imagine ever losing her, she is the best thing t...
A. 3 September 2015: Why don't you learn how to control your conversation with her by being less emotional in an argument but more of an artist to stir the argument in your favor. That should keep you away from violence which, in domestic disputes, will actually make ... (read in full...)
My ex wife completely messed my life up. How do I move on from something like this?
Q. I am a 28 year old male who was married to a woman for the last 5 years and have a 3 year old son with her. I found out she was cheating for over a year with my best friend that Ive known since elementary school. I was upset but tried my best to...
A. 3 September 2015: Whatever has happened is over now and you need a good lawyer to enforce your rights with your son and examine your legal position in all this so you are not screwed as much by your ex.
As for the material things that you paid for but your ex ... (read in full...)
Came across a conversation between my husband and his friend and I think he's cheating on me
Q. I need help? My husband and I have been together for 7 years. And we have been married for only 4. I fell in love with him as a person and for his sense of humor. I never had a problem trusting him until the other night....I came home from my next ...
A. 3 September 2015: He technically hasn't cheated yet although he has lined up the hookup. So if this was me I would let this play out, get a camera to find evidence once all that actually goes down then file a divorce.
Reason why I'm suggesting this is because ... (read in full...)
I am still hurt by feelings of betrayal, humiliation and embarassment and need help on how to deal with this, please?
Q. I made out with a guy 5 months ago at a great party at university. I stay outside school so it was late and i had nowhere to go but to stay at the party until sunrise or at least when its safe to go to my room. I went there with some two girls so we ...
A. 3 September 2015: Well, you got some valuable experience what a taken guy goes through: he was paired with you, saw you willing, thought he might get some but after you stopped him the committed side on him took over and realized that you don't fit in his scheme of ... (read in full...)
Why did he lie about my singing? Should I raise this with him, or drop it?
Q. I was wondering if I should be upset or just let it go. My husband and I were at a birthday party dinner for one of his friends that I have only met once so I knew no one at this party. I fell easily into conversation with a women at the din...
A. 2 September 2015: Some possibles are: (1) flattery to you that you don't sing enough to him (2) seeking to shrink her convo with him by keeping you out of it (3) knew how you feel about your voice so wanted to end with her so you don't start controversy (4) did not ... (read in full...)
Men, what would you like your girlfriend to text you?
Q. Guy I'm dating likes to text me hello, asks about my day or what I'm up to or follow up questions and to make plans for when we see each other next. However, it is usually always him who initiates the texting. He has questioned why I never text him...
A. 2 September 2015: While you may feel insecure about excitement your text could stir, your guy, by insisting on daily texts from you, seems to me, to be insecure about your investment into this relationship. So for both of you, it looks like, texting is an issue of ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend found out I cheated while messed up and ended things. Will I ever be able to make him forgive me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together three years and we got engaged last year. We then went through a rocky patch, but then things were great again. Until two nights ago when I ruined everything. I was at a rave, and was off my face and took a ...
A. 1 September 2015: Forgiveness is a personal thing, meaning he may forgive you or he may not, and there is nothing that you could do to make him. In fact, the more you insist on it, the more he may reject you.
And rightly so, because what you did maybe a "stupid"... (read in full...)
Does anyone have advice for these terrible anxious feelings I get?
Q. I know this is a site for relationship advice, but I've spent quite a fair amount of time on this website to know that many of the responders on here are extremely mature and have quite a bit of life experience. So mainly I'm just looking for ...
A. 1 September 2015: What you have is a serious condition which results in panic attacks that affect you physically. From what you describe, your symptoms have been progressing to worse. Notice how your panic attacks cause physiological changes such as urination... ... (read in full...)
I know I shouldn't be involved with this married man but I don't know what to do about things
Q. I'm a 20 year old college junior. I've had many problems that started in late childhood. Starting with body dysmorphia, and lead into anorexia, binge eating, self harm, suicidal tendencies, and depression. I've been diagnosed with borderline ...
A. 28 August 2015: "I know it's so fucking wrong because he's married"
What's happening to you is wrong not just because he is married but also because he is misusing his "mentoring" position of power to lure you into a sexual relation. Frankly, you are being vi... (read in full...)
Can a married man have a mistress for 10 years and love her?
Q. Can a married man have a mistress for say 10 years and be in love with her? Otherwise if it was just sex, wouldn't he had dumped her ages ago? ...
A. 26 August 2015: These sorts of husband-mistress questions pop here all the time with the similar invective as yours: either the wife wants to be assured that it is just sex so she can win him over OR the mistress seeks assurances that there is more to her affair ... (read in full...)
I want to tell my fiance about my indiscretion, I just don't know how to do it
Q. I am engaged to my lovely fiance for two years. He is everything I could possibly want and more. I love him so much, but, I almost ruined everything. I kissed another man on a night out while my fiance was on business. From my vague memory it ...
A. 21 August 2015: What will you gain by telling him? Will your relationship suddenly blossom into a more trusting, romantic paradise or will it open a can a worms that could haunt your fiancé? Where there are ashes there sure was fire, so how intense was the fire - ... (read in full...)
I don't want children but my boyfriend does, can our relationship work?
Q. I am a 28 year old woman who has been with my partner for over 4 years. This is the best relationship I've ever had and I love him dearly and I'm very happy. Him and I have a bit of an issue however. He wants children while I do not. Whe...
A. 20 August 2015: Both of you have very uncompromising positions and such typically break down the bonds. You two may not split tomorrow, but down the line, sometimes, when he decides to have kids, he will need another woman. Where does that leave you?
So the proc... (read in full...)
When he's had a few drinks he divulges far too much about our relationship to others. How do I respond to this disrespect?
Q. Hi so I've been kinda "seeing" this man for a few months now, his a lot older than me, we are both single may I add, and at first it was just a friendship thing, we enjoyed each others company I'm not looking for a relationship. Then one night to...
A. 20 August 2015: You have to define your interaction with that guy because you can't meet up for sex, be uncommitted and walk around as though couple. He is either your BF or he is not.
If he is not your BF, then you have no business wondering what's he talking ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my FWB that I like him?
Q. Hi ok so last night something kinda strange happened. I was hanging out with a guy who I've hooked up with a few times but casually and our friends at a party, I was a little tipsy but not drunk. Anyway we were flirting quite a lot and he kept ...
A. 19 August 2015: If you like him and want to date him then make sure he dates you from the get go instead of allowing him to do the FWB on you from the start. If you are hoping that being done through FWB you will gain a BF you are very much mistaken because FWB ... (read in full...)
Her hot temper leads to fights. So I asked another girl out. Can I continue like this or should I just walk away from my hot tempered original Gf?
Q. I am a teenage guy of 18 , currently I have a gf we have been together For over a year now. She's got all I want, but she has hot temper. We fight a lot of times and this make me think about our future. I decided to ask another girl out, the...
A. 19 August 2015: Don't ever cheat. If the other girl is better, then break a deal with the hot tempered one, tell her that you cannot take her temper tantrums and you no longer want to be her victim. Then move on. You cannot have two women at the same time because ... (read in full...)
Are her values too at variance with mine for me to consider an ''official'' relationship?
Q. Hey, been courting/dating a girl for 4 months. Nothing to full on but we do have a sexual relationship, looks like things are on the way to being a "official" relationship. Just found out she had a one night stand before we met. (I'm not judging ...
A. 17 August 2015: Behavior, including sexual past such as ONS, should be used to evaluate another person while making a decision as to weather she is datable material or not. This may not be a popular idea with some people, but judging people is what every human ... (read in full...)
Why does he seem to have so much rage?
Q. Im in need of relationship help.... Heres the problem: Ive been with my guy for almost 3 years now. And just like any relationship there are arguments that happen. My guy has a problem with me "being real / speaking my mind" but that's just the type...
A. 17 August 2015: Look up "intermittent explosive disorder" and see if those symptoms fit what your guy does. If so, set up a psychiatrist and be sure he gets medicine for that. Anger management helps but does nothing unless he gets medicated. No meds no change. ... (read in full...)
I want to break up but my boyfriend doesn't, how do I go about this the right way?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a little over 5 years. He is a nice guy, but I am not in love with him anymore. I find that we have drifted apart, no longer have the same interests, and that my feelings have just changed ove...
A. 16 August 2015: Regrettably, there is no right way to break up. From experience, the only thing I could suggest is to keep the break up conversation short, and not to get engaged in debates. If you have made up your mind, as you did, then break up in the way that ... (read in full...)
Does the length of the relationship mean its love or can it still be only about sex?
Q. My 48yr. Husband of 15 years has been having problems obtaining and keeping and erection for the past year. Sometimes he gets and keeps it but then he can't orgasm. I figure its due to his age. So I have been understanding. But I over heard a phone ...
A. 15 August 2015: Like rebecca c, I was also stumped at your reply so I took a day to think about what you said and, still, I am stumped as in why are you his doormat? You keep asking about erections, then switch over to love vs sex of a cheating husband... When the ... (read in full...)
How do I get my husband to love me again and want sex?
Q. okay so me and my old man have been togather for 2 yeARS and he hasnt been making love to me for the past 3-4 dAYS AND I DIDNT KNOW WHY well he was taking medicine and he was being mean to men for days and he asked me to last night but he couldnt ...
A. 15 August 2015: As Asexually Confused alertly points: What do you mean by the quip that "he is the only man i have slept with willingly !!!"
Has there been men with whom you slept unwillingly?!... (read in full...)
I want to tell my cousin I am in love with her. But what should I do?
Q. I am in love with my cousin , she is my mother sister daughter. I afraid to tell her I am not sure she love me. i'm afraid to tell her because we're so close to each other and i don't want to ruin this if she told she doesn't love me back . I a...
A. 15 August 2015: Don't say anything because it is incestual advance and it is unwelcome, morally and legally. Deal with your infatuation for what it is...and it for sure isn't love. Learn to distinguish between infatuation and love by noting how you feel right now, ... (read in full...)
Does the length of the relationship mean its love or can it still be only about sex?
Q. My 48yr. Husband of 15 years has been having problems obtaining and keeping and erection for the past year. Sometimes he gets and keeps it but then he can't orgasm. I figure its due to his age. So I have been understanding. But I over heard a phone ...
A. 14 August 2015: Your marriage is salvageable only if both of you are willing to save it. So your first question to your husband should be about the willingness, now that you have found out that he is cheating. As for his affair with the coworker: 6 years is a long ... (read in full...)
Why does my partner never cum during sex?
Q. ok. Here it goes, I guess my question is directed to men but anyone feel free to give advice. I have been dating and living with a man now for 2 years. he has always had a problem with not being able to cum during sex he can get it up just fine and ...
A. 13 August 2015: There is a substantial percent of males who don't cum from BJs and handjobs but there is a small proportion of men who don't cum from the actual intercourse. So your guy might have a deeper issue because of his inability to cum via intercourse and ... (read in full...)
I don't feel special anymore ever since boyfriend and I have been talking about threesomes
Q. Really need a lot of advice as there is no one I can talk to about this! My bf and I are happy and together 2yrs. We have a very active and great sex life. The best either of us experienced. We regularly do kinky stufr or I dress up etc. My bf has ...
A. 13 August 2015: Even though you told your guy that you wish not to do it, your role playing and indulging in that fantasy with him resparks the hope and turns it into a firm belief, in his mind, that 3some is still in the cards, if not now then some day. I think ... (read in full...)
It feels like cheating. How have others in this situation handled things?
Q. I hate myself for doing what I said I'd never do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and I recently started talking to an old friend, we've been casually flirting nothing serious but now I feel like I've been cheating and I don't ...
A. 11 August 2015: I think you answered your own question: if it feels like cheating then it is. And it's not just your BFs reaction but you probably know where that "nothing serious" chat with that guy will lead to... and you'll end up loosing them both. Cut that guy ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to be concerned or feel hurt? Photos of a women are still on his phone
Q. So recently I saw several pictures of a girl (most likely an ex girlfriend) in my boyfriends phone by accident while I was bored and browsed through the photos we took together. He was asleep next to me when this happened. One picture seems to...
A. 11 August 2015: There is nothing "technically" wrong here: his phone, his stuff. However, if we are to consider the intent of those photos, your point is valid. I'm sure he will have an excuse why he has them and that they are harmless or meaningless... but if they ... (read in full...)
Do I let my wife have a threesome with 2 guys? I feel I'll lose either way
Q. My wife wants me to watch her have sex with 2 of my buddys Do most girls want to have sex with 2 guys at the same time ??? I don't know what to tell her. If I say no. ??? She may cheat. ?? If I say yes she may always wAnt it. ???...
A. 11 August 2015: If you disapprove of that then be firm and tell her. If you think that she will cheat after that then be sure you tellbhervwjat your reaction will be, breakup or what have you. You are not the looser either way because with the disapproval you are ... (read in full...)
How am I supposed to act when a male friend sends me unwanted pics of his privates?
Q. Hello Agony aunts. My first question is what do we say or do about friends that send pictures of their privates to their female friends. I remember the first time my very close friend did that to me, I severed all contact with him. I was ...
A. 9 August 2015: Yes, go no contact with him. You didn't ask for it. It's idiotic and rude. Cut him off. Personally, never understood why men do that via phones, or mooning on a road but guess there are dumb asses all the time. So no, this is not a man-thing, it's ... (read in full...)
What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want only her?
Q. What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want only her?...
A. 7 August 2015: Purity of intent and loyalty. ... (read in full...)
We are involved but both married. I don't know how to stop this relationship!
Q. My boyfriend and I are both married to someone else and are in love. Yes, people call it love affair. It hurts me bad because it is not right thing to do but I can't stop this relationship. (Yes, I have tried in the past.) If anyone out the...
A. 3 August 2015: You are not unique in this predicament and many other women have asked this before so here are things that will happen, if not with certainty, but with a very high probability given what you do.
So, first, you could choose to continue cheating... (read in full...)
I want my wife to be a hotwife and go to bed with our friend
Q. I would love for my wife to go to bed with a friend of ours, she has flirted with him and he sure finds her hot.I find it a big turn on thinking about her going to bed with him. Is that normal and how can I convince her it is OK with me?...
A. 3 August 2015: Questioning the moral validity of ones action often means that there is something wrong with the action. So, if you are asking is it normal then that means that probably it isn't. Same about your wife: if you have to convince her in doing it, it ... (read in full...)
My husband is having trouble getting an erection. Porn hasn't helped. What other options are possible?
Q. My husband and I have started to watch porn to get in the mood. He gets very hard and turned on but the minute he takes his eyes off the screen he seems to go flat . Actually when i get undressed he actually has a very definate look of disappoi...
A. 2 August 2015: I think it is the porn that is causing your man to be unable to sustain. Porn rewires a brain so that the arousal is switched into translation mode of what one sees and not what one feels sexually. Studies have shown that this rewiring in the brain ... (read in full...)
Bi-sexual or Bi-curious? Why do I feel this way when I can only emotionally see myself with a guy?
Q. I am so confused. Let me just start by saying that I'm a 17 year old girl and always assumed I was straight. I have always liked guys and do get turned on by them sexually. But my first experience sexually wise, was watching lesbian porn whe...
A. 2 August 2015: Numerous studies have shown that a huge proportion of straight women get sexually aroused by lesbian porn and there are viable explanations out there as to why that happens. So from this biological perspective of a woman, just because she watches ... (read in full...)
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