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Men, what would you like your girlfriend to text you?

Tagged as: Dating, Online dating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 September 2015) 8 Answers - (Newest, 2 September 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Guy I'm dating likes to text me hello, asks about my day or what I'm up to or follow up questions and to make plans for when we see each other next.

However, it is usually always him who initiates the texting. He has questioned why I never text him. He got really upset about it.

The reason I don't is because I think the things I would text are boring! I guess it's an insecurity thing. Well, I'm trying to just get over this, because I know it's NOT a big deal.

To the men on this site, aside from phone calls, what kind of texts would you like to receive from your girlfriend? (and I don't mean naughty ones haha)? Ladies, too. Do i just mimic his behavior?

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A female reader, MSA United States +, writes (2 September 2015):

MSA agony auntI'm guessing he's thinking that when you take the initiative to text him, it shows your interest in him. Kind of like you made the first move on something.

I'd suggest to text him 'Good Morning, Hope you'll have a great day' when you wake up. Then sometime in the after noon, a simple text of 'Hey, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you', and at night, 'Good Night, sleep well!'.

Sometimes I would take a picture of what I'm having for lunch and send it to my boyfriend.. he will do the same too. Or when he goes to Starbucks to get coffee, he will text me and say he's thinking of me and at Starbucks getting our favorite drink. Or he'll take a selfie and send it to me cuz he thinks I should see how awesome his hair looks that day.. just simple silly things like that. You can give it a try too ^_^

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 September 2015):

Honeypie agony auntI'm not a big texter - I actually find it pretty impersonal. It'd like " I rather not REALLY talk to you but here is a text because everyone else are texting"...

I'd call him - if you know what time he gets up in the morning - call and say hey good morning - wanted to wish you a good day and talk to you later - I won't take up too much of your time, but I wanted to start the day by hearing your voice and wishing you a good morning! Now of course you might not be able to do that EVERY morning, but it does set you apart from the typical "what's up" text.

or

If you rather stick to texting - maybe mention a book you just read, or a movie you really want to see (that could lead to a "want to see it with me" or a you+me+netflix!

Be a little creative.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (2 September 2015):

Garbo agony auntWhile you may feel insecure about excitement your text could stir, your guy, by insisting on daily texts from you, seems to me, to be insecure about your investment into this relationship. So for both of you, it looks like, texting is an issue of perception.

Anyway, to answer your question, there are set of men like me who try to minimize texting, meaning, if whatever you got to say cannot be summarized in at most 2 lines of text than call. This leaves things like "how r u" or "wanna hit the gym" or "stuck in hiway" and other everyday things about food, drink, clothes... get used through out the day. Occasional romantic emoji, a link to a nice picture or interesting, funny story get exchanged. So basically, if it's boring and it's 2 lines of text, bam! It's a text.

So loosen up an give your guy some security by sending him few texts. Try something neutral, something short that appeals to his interest, spruce it throughout the day in some intervals and your work is done.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2015):

Text him good morning / good night. Wish him a good day. Send him jokes. And mimic his behavior too. What does he text you?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2015):

You can also text and ask a simple Q like what kind of holiday he would want to go on if he could decide... that would give you a view on it if you plan something like that later.

Or say: I'd better call heaven and say that they're missing an angel. It's cheesy but cute. If you really need help go and google cute quotes for sentence starters or such. But first try and think of something of your own.

Just stupid little stuff. Remember, it's those small stuff that counts.

(another idea is to ask him to be your Valentine on a day that's not Valentine's day? but i don't know if that'll work)

Hope this helps. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2015):

Dinner's in the oven!

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A female reader, YouWish United States +, writes (2 September 2015):

YouWish agony auntText that you're thinking about him. Easy as pie, and if your guy is getting upset about you not texting, that's really what he's insecure about - that you're not thinking about him when you're apart.

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A male reader, TrancedRhythmEar Saudi Arabia +, writes (2 September 2015):

TrancedRhythmEar agony auntI saw... and reminded me of you. Keep the texts interesting avoid weather how are you and politics. He needs to relax and be ok with initiating. You women like us to lead.

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