Does porn viewing encourage men to treat women with disrespect?
Q. Does porn viewing encourage men to treat women with disrespect. At times I notice my partner becomes somewhat disrespectful and dismissive of me. At times it almost seems like a little contemptuous . Without fail , everytime I have noticed this , I...
A. 15 April 2015: Porn is one of those chicken vs egg issues. Only if men would stop watching, porn flicks wouldn't be made... Or the egg: if porn girls weren't willing to do that for few hundred dollars then men wouldn't be tempted into watching it. It's probably ... (read in full...)
The fog has worn off the affair but I love my married boyfriend. It's hard to stay but also hard to leave. What do I do?
Q. I am having a difficult time. No judgment please. Just help. I am the mistress of a married man and I have been for almost 2 years. I have heard it all. Believe me. Nobody can punish me more than I have punished myself. The problem is I am i...
A. 15 April 2015: Apparently, he seems to hang out with his wife for 2 years without sex and it makes you wonder how he could still love her. Why don't you then use the same test his wife is using on him. Tell him that you want the "relationship" you have to develop ... (read in full...)
Should I respond or was she giving me the brush off?
Q. Hi, I met a girl nearly a month ago we met at a party and we've been exchanging messages ever since. She has been on holiday and came back to start a new job. I asked if she wanted to meet up again this week and she said sure what time etc. Well ...
A. 15 April 2015: I'd respond by telling her something like "no problem, let me know when you get some time" then keep chatting. If she blows you off again then just drop her. ... (read in full...)
We've been married only a year and have big problems. When do you call it a day?
Q. I‘ve been married for almost a year now and already we're in a bit of a crisis. We have many issues in our relationship, too many to mention but i'll give some examples. I think he's become very controlling since we got married, I am admittedly ...
A. 12 April 2015: I'm not sure whether the way you phrased you post or is it like it for real, but I read no attempts on your part to fix the issues in the marriage. Instead, your post reads like a complaining customer who bought an item only to discover it does not ... (read in full...)
Colleague turned off by platonic comment I made?
Q. I was talking to a male colleague about keeping in touch when he leaves for vacation. I joking said, "you're not going to blow me off if I try to reach out to you over the next few weeks?" and he became really uptight and offended. He just ended the ...
A. 12 April 2015: I think it would help to know what profession you are in because some, like attorneys and doctors, are way too uptight about how they are referenced and type of lingo used on them. I am in a mixed race work environment and there are colleagues, ... (read in full...)
Past experiences have made my boyfriend insecure and it's killing our relationship
Q. I love my boyfriend but he's overly insecure! It's from past relationships that has made him that way. He constantly looks into everything and over thinks things and it's brings me to the point I want to give up. having a social drink together has ...
A. 12 April 2015: You are correct with your hunch that BF has odd behaviors and those "past relationships" you cite are events which he remembers that precipitated his personality disorder hence he blames the events. What I am trying to point, is the possibility that ... (read in full...)
It turned me off that he accepted my offer to split the bill on our first date!
Q. I went on a first date with a guy I met, we connected and I really liked him, but then he was ok with me paying for my dinner. I offered to pay before he reached for the bill and he said "sure, if you want to." So he told the waiter to split it. He ...
A. 12 April 2015: You should tell him to explain how frugal is he with his money? Ask him if he saves? Is he a good money manager?
These are all qualities of a good man and a good husband, who cares for his nest and not to show off. ... (read in full...)
He wants casual but I want a relationship, should I give him what he wants?
Q. I feel like im loosing my mind. I met a mysterious guy and we got on so well, he told me he felt comfortable around me, making me feel relieved and srawn even cloaer to him, but recently he told me he only wanted a casual relationship.I'm 18 and ...
A. 11 April 2015: Absolutely NO!
First, you said that you "wouldnt be comfortable with a casual relationship" so if you are uncomfortable with it then don't do it.
Second, although you can "see yourself" with him apparently he does not want to see himself with... (read in full...)
Do men even care if porn use hurts their partner?
Q. My question comes as the result of my husband constantly using porn despite an agreement not too and two years of counselling. I have now organised alternative housing but am hurt and wondering what the world has come to Do men even care if porn use...
A. 10 April 2015: I want to chime into this convo not to persuade you or give you an answer that you (don't) want to hear but to add a male view on this given you girls have established the truth in this matter. Anyway, people who are addicted don't care about... (read in full...)
My ex cannot stand to see me after 9 years? Why is he like this?
Q. I have a question about my ex. I ended the relationship back in 2004 because of how he treated me, he was 20 at the time and I think a lot had to do with his lack of maturity. When we broke up, things were a bit convoluted. We agreed to be friends ...
A. 10 April 2015: It's hard to speculate why your ex does not want to see you. It could be a myriad of things: Pride, stubbornness, principle, loyalty, betrayal, grudge...
In general, speaking from experience, most men I know don't want anything to do with their se... (read in full...)
I feel if I don't give my boyfriend what he wants sexually he will leave me
Q. I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend for a little over three months now. After a couple months of dating I had sex with him, it was my first time but not his. I'm still really uncomfortable around him and insecure when we do stuff. I hate ...
A. 10 April 2015: You should not do anything that does not make you feel comfortable. Obviously, you don't seem comfortable having sex with you BF, therefore don't. If he plans to leave you because he isn't getting any then he is in a relationship with you for sex, ... (read in full...)
Have never had sex with my boyfriend of 6 years.....
Q. I am in a situation with my boyfriend and I am completely lost as to what to do.... My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 6 years. I am 34 years old and he is 36. He is the second boyfriend I have ever had as I was in a relatio...
A. 9 April 2015: Hope is not a strategy to solve your situation. You have 3 choices here: (1) marry him and live in a sexless marriage (2) get a commitment from him to loose lot of weight and seek medical help for his etrctile dysfunction or (3) walk away and se... (read in full...)
Is it okay to keep secrets in a relationship?
Q. My bf wants to know everything about me and wants no secrets between us. If I tell him something is a secret like what I did last weekend he pressures me to tell him what it is. Is it okay to not share everything in a relationship? seeing him for 3 ...
A. 9 April 2015: Why would you wanna keep a secret as to what you've done last week? Is it so extraordinary, so damning of your relationship that you fear being dumped? What difference does it make if you keep a secret about the cheese sandwich versus fattening mayo ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my nitpicking fiancé?
Q. I am at my ropes end. My fiance asked me to move in with him. I will admit I had a lot of stuff from my previous marriage (I am widowed) when I moved in with him. I was married for 24 years, so take that into account when a couple accumulates ...
A. 9 April 2015: You seem like a hoarder and your new husband like a borderline Asperger's Syndrome OCD? Your description of the amount of stuff you have and importance you assign to it is hoarding but his anger that puts you on tiptoes is Asperger's OCD sign ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my husband's infatuation and his need to talk, all the time, about a girl he works with?
Q. I am so frustrated with my husband! We have been married ten years but together for 15. I thought things were really good we have a child both have good jobs and holidays. Right now we are on a family holiday. My husband keeps bringing a girl up ...
A. 9 April 2015: I'm sure he would flip if on your laptop, cellphone and everywhere some guy keeps popping up. He maybe borderline in an emotional affair with that girl, but for sure he fancies himself into one. The reason why he is open about her, I think, is his ... (read in full...)
My wife works with her ex and he's always calling her
Q. my wife works everyday with an x lover and he is always calling her on the phone for long conversations and she doesn't understand why this bothers me. We've been married for three yrs and it is becoming a problem so what should I do, leave or let ...
A. 8 April 2015: I feel you on this one. If she is married with you and definitively done with the other guy then why is she in contact? Not only that, she is rubbing it in by having convos with him and replying to you, as though you're stupid, that it shouldn'... (read in full...)
Husband facing unwanted divorce without communication
Q. Ok my wife and I have been married almost 6 years, we were deeply in love with one another . Then my wife got a job in another state almost a year after we were married. So I moved with her, I was arrested for a crime I did not commit, 3 years of ...
A. 8 April 2015: There is nothing to do. She probably had it on her mind to leave you for a while, during your legal ordeal. It's just she had no financial means. Now that she thinks that she can be independent she gave you a boot. She made up her mind and she seems ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want me why shouldn't I get it else where?
Q. I'm entering the 10th year of my relationship and my sex life has been on the decline for the past four years and my bf says he doesn't know why he just hasn't got the urge and he doesn't even pleasure himself. My dilemma my sex drive is higher now ...
A. 7 April 2015: Assuming that he has refused repeated communication about this issue, one other thing to try is to have someone else appeal to him, like his parents or your priest. Given that you two are not married, it becomes cumbersome on others to get involved, ... (read in full...)
If he doesn't want me why shouldn't I get it else where?
Q. I'm entering the 10th year of my relationship and my sex life has been on the decline for the past four years and my bf says he doesn't know why he just hasn't got the urge and he doesn't even pleasure himself. My dilemma my sex drive is higher now ...
A. 7 April 2015: Have you ever asked your man these questions? If so, what's his solution? Do you have a solution for him? What do you think it takes to fix this? Is he fixable? Just because your man is on a waning libido is that a reason to simply discard him now ... (read in full...)
No contact or contact? I want to feel indifferent. I want to get over him. But is it normal to still want to be friends? Or not?
Q. My ex contacted me after a long time. He was the most serious relationship I have had and although I have moved on with my life, I have not found someone else yet. He has moved on and has a new long term girlfriend. We split because I felt h...
A. 6 April 2015: Your situation is why meeting his EX is every girls nightmare.
Like you, he probably knows that the the trinket he is returning is useless but after staring at it for 3 years in his house, there is likely a reason he wants to "return it" as oppos... (read in full...)
My boyfriend won't stop taking drugs. should I leave him?
Q. I am 25 and my partner is 30. We have been together for 8 months and have had an uneasy relationship. We love each other very much, but he takes class A drugs occasionally and I did not like this. When I came to the decision to leave him he told me ...
A. 6 April 2015: Yes, leave him. He has chosen drugs over you so there is no place for you with him. ... (read in full...)
I'm on spring break and I think, as a result that I'm bored. Should I try to cut back on my daily masturbation and watching porn for 10 to 20 minutes, daily? addiction or unhealthy?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I have a question: At what point does porn become an addiction, and when does masturbation become "unhealthy?" I am a 15 year old male, and I watch porn PERIODICALLY. I don't watch it daily, usually only once a week for aro...
A. 5 April 2015: You should cut back on porn viewing because there are studies done on teenagers which suggest that porn has disproportionately negative impact on teens vs adults, meaning porn is much worse for teenagers like yourself than adults. It has to do with ... (read in full...)
How can I tell someone to stop flirting with me in a work place?
Q. There is this older man at work who is getting too friendly and I want to put a stop to it.I don't work with him everyday since I have a part time casual position and he has permanent position on different floor. I am casual wh...
A. 4 April 2015: I think his comments have gone over into sexual harrasment and you need to find a way that he is made cognizant of that. You should enquire about a protocol on this issue at your job and have some informal talk with someone before you tell him flat ... (read in full...)
I'm 37 weeks pregnant and my Bf wants a threesome, He's already messaging the intended girl. Am I being paranoid? Or is this a red flag?.
Q. So my boyfriend of 7 years has asked for sex with another woman, I kind of understand, we are both our firsts and only. We found a woman about our age for a threesome. I am 37 weeks pregnant with our 3rd and she is fit, slender, and has more ...
A. 3 April 2015: Of course it is a red flag. What's in it for you? How much will a 3some enhance your marriage? It's rhetorical of course. You gain nothing but jeopardize your marriage because he wants your consent to have sex with some other woman, and right in ... (read in full...)
My husband feels entitled to make all the financial decisions.
Q. My husband and I have an ongoing issue with finances to the point that we actually split for a while . He earns a good income and I have up my job to support him in the businesss He makes all financial decisions often without my knowledge . I am pla...
A. 3 April 2015: It is not chauvinism the way I have described itunless you two have some power issues among each other. My wife runs a retail beauty business I stay out of that completely unless she asks for some computations, spreadsheet or to do he taxes. I am ... (read in full...)
My husband feels entitled to make all the financial decisions.
Q. My husband and I have an ongoing issue with finances to the point that we actually split for a while . He earns a good income and I have up my job to support him in the businesss He makes all financial decisions often without my knowledge . I am pla...
A. 3 April 2015: He is not entitled nor are you but if you are aiming at the same thing and want the same financial outcomes then the one with most financial sense should do the decision making. Is he a good financial manager? Is he better then you? If so then let... (read in full...)
How do I know the difference between gut instinct and paranoia?
Q. Hi all. This question has two parts. Should you ever ask your BF if he finds another woman attractive and if he would ever fvck her? I asked my BF tonight if he would fvck this other woman we both know and he said not while he was with me. T...
A. 31 March 2015: I think your post breaks down into two questions: (1) Can you trust your BF given that he did not admit explicitly that he would sleep with a certain woman outside of your relationship and (2) are you needlessly paranoid over your trust in your ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to fantasize about another guy when you are married with kids?
Q. Hi, is it normal to fantasize about another guy when you are married with kids? We have been married for 22 years. I am for the most part happily married but when things don't seem to be going right--meaning a disagreement or frustration in our ...
A. 30 March 2015: To answer your question first: yes, it is normal to fantasize about someone else even if he is specific person like your situation. What I have a qualm with is that you are indirectly flirting with that trainer because, apparently, you interpret his ... (read in full...)
If you like a woman but want her to slow down what can you do?
Q. Hi, Help needed! I met this woman who I've known for years and always liked. We got together recently and I really like her but she was coming on a bit intense. I backed off but she was still intense, texting a lot. I def' like her but want to ...
A. 29 March 2015: Well, since you are play acting then go all the way and announce that you are breaking up with your invented GF, that it was a short relationship, that the reason for the breakup is ______(fill in the most egregious deal breaker)___. Then few days ... (read in full...)
How can I overcome this belief that I am ugly?
Q. I'm hoping someone can help. I hate how I look in general and there are certain things that I have done to make myself more attractive- I've lost weight, had several facial moles removed, straightened my teeth, had hair extensions, got ...
A. 29 March 2015: I've known a girl who was obsessed about her nose claiming it was too big, that people stared at her nose, that her profile was ugly, and yada, yada... As a result of her loss of confidence she was always diminutive in social circles, was very ... (read in full...)
Am I doing something wrong in this relationship or is she just "over" me?
Q. Well, I met this woman about a week ago at a friends party. We have been sending messages over email this week. I have told her a lot about things I am doing and she responded. I actually said I was sorry for sending a long message and that...
A. 28 March 2015: You should have called her and set up to meet. So do that ASAP and don't bother her with emails. Most people don't care to read long winded emails, maybe as a confirmation. Instead, she is getting messages from you through the medium that most ... (read in full...)
Have feelings for former co-worker. Is it meant to be? And I am married to another man
Q. i am married. it seemed to be ok until I met a guy at work. the attraction grew for past years despite my attempts to stop it. few weeks ago I quit as a last ditch effort to save my marriage. I felt he felt the same about me, although he never sai...
A. 27 March 2015: First, should stop looking for excuses to ruin your marriage, therefore, forget about that guy and don't do anything with him. Second, realize that your infatuation with that guy is a symptom of your deteriorating marriage which means your main obl... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's lack and concern and hygiene make me think it might be time to end things
Q. Lately I feel like Im reconsidering my relationship with my partner of 1 year. I feel like here's not there for me in the way a partner should be some e.g. my parents are going through a divorce, when I try and talk to him about it, all he says is ...
A. 26 March 2015: Looks like your man has a gambling problem as well if he is "gaming" all night long. Like alcoholics, gamblers also lack empathy and tend to order their life around their addiction. You, the hygiene and much of anything else does not matter to these ... (read in full...)
I have insecurities about my weight and shape of my body. How do I overcome them so I can enjoy sex?
Q. I am 22 years old and have been with my amazing boyfriend for a little over a year. I am embarrassed to say, but I'm a good 40-45 pounds overweight and I'm on the short side, 5'4. I got thick thighs, my stomach is not flat, my boobs have gotte...
A. 26 March 2015: Vigorous workouts is what puts confidence back and you being young, getting into a gym 4 times per week should be a must. Start off with 60% strength training and 40% cardio, but as weeks progress, start tilting this ratio in favor of cardio s... (read in full...)
Would you be ticked at a one word reply from your BF in an email?
Q. If you send your BF an email with a funny pic attached and he just replied "Cute!" would you get ticked about the one word answer? Especially if at the end of the message you said "Miss you" and he did not say "Miss you" back? ...
A. 26 March 2015: Men, overwhelmingly, answer as short as possible and I have texts with my wife to prove it. So there is nothing to be ticked about that. What ticks you, I think, is that your BF is not good at the art of textual flirting and responding in ways tha... (read in full...)
My sister's rage is out of control
Q. Before our studies commenced we had both decided to live together in a two bed flat in the Student Village. I thought it was going to be amazing... But it turns out that she gets angry and violent really, really easily. I have concerns that she's ...
A. 24 March 2015: Look into a condition called Intermittent Anger Disorder. It is little known among psychiatrists so you need to document her behavior with a video and your own research on that disorder and only then present in to a psychiatrist. He will then know ... (read in full...)
Should I just ask him where we stand, or would that push him away entirely?
Q. I'm still confused, and I'm starting to think that this guy I used to date now only sees me as friend. There has been a change in the physical/ sexual part of our relationship, but nothing else has changed. He's not seeing anyone else, and he said ...
A. 18 March 2015: Asking him where you stand won't push him away. Your questions may simply confirm what you already suspect so be ready for a rejection. He may also give you a noncommittal answer, something yeah I like you, against which you should seek that he ... (read in full...)
My problem is that I'm attracted to guys outside my relationship!
Q. I have a problem - I'm attracted to guys outside of my relationship. We only see each other two weekends a month and I miss him terribly. And when I go out, I find myself strongly attracted to random men. I'm quite pretty so I wouldn't have a ...
A. 17 March 2015: You are exhibiting classic signs of neglect and are tantalized by lack of attention from a guy to whom you feel attached so you think that some other dudes can take up his role. Many married women end up cheating over this and lose their husbands. ... (read in full...)
I'm in a total quandary! In love with my FWB and wondering if I should tell him?
Q. I'm in a total quandary! I've been in a "friends with benefits" relationship for over two years with a guy who has a girlfriend, but whom he is mostly only with for financial "trapped" reasons. Debts and life's stresses mean it is nigh on impossible ...
A. 16 March 2015: You sure could tell him how you feel but if you have no concrete outcome that you want him to demonstrate to you then you better have strength to drop this guy in the spot. ... (read in full...)
He thinks I'm bitter and a gossip. Have I put him off for good?
Q. My ex use to think I was hot - until he started chatting up other women. So I became bitter and jealous. We were together losely - nothing serious, but I guess I was annoyed he was looking elsewhere. However now he has gone off me altogeth...
A. 14 March 2015: What difference does it make how he sees you? He is not your man, you are not together so whatever he thinks of you has no bearings on who you are. Perhaps you are overbearing because even after he abandoned you, you ruminate over a relations... (read in full...)
No sex with wife since our two year old was born.
Q. Me and my wife had a little girl alomst 2 years ago but since then we have only had sex a handful of times i have tried romantic baths etc. Have spoke to her and dont really get a response as to why we dont have sex anymore just wondering what else ...
A. 13 March 2015: She may have postpartum depression with her hormones gone out of whack. She should go for full blood work including hormone check. Lot of women get this sort of an issue after giving birth. ... (read in full...)
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