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It feels like cheating. How have others in this situation handled things?

Tagged as: Cheating, Dating, Friends, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 August 2015) 4 Answers - (Newest, 11 August 2015)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I hate myself for doing what I said I'd never do. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years and I recently started talking to an old friend, we've been casually flirting nothing serious but now I feel like I've been cheating and I don't know what to do.

I've never done this before now and I don't want to end my relationship but I know that when my boyfriend finds out he will.

Has anyone ever been in this situation?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (11 August 2015):

Tisha-1 agony auntAre you really in your heart of hearts sure that you don't secretly want the relationship to end? That your subconscious is setting you up in a situation that will have your boyfriend end it, so you don't have to strike the blow?

Are you a gullible person, easily led around by others?

You know what to do, you just don't want to.

Set boundaries. Put yourself in your boyfriend's shoes and examine how this would affect him.

Time to find your integrity and do the right thing. Which may involve you being a brave woman and splitting up with your boyfriend.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (11 August 2015):

Honeypie agony auntIF you know it's "wrong" to do in a relationship, then why haven't you stopped it yet?

I'm sure if it was your BF flirting online with a female "friend" you wouldn't like it either, am I right?

So stop it. Cut the dude off.

Own your actions.

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A male reader, Garbo United States +, writes (11 August 2015):

Garbo agony auntI think you answered your own question: if it feels like cheating then it is. And it's not just your BFs reaction but you probably know where that "nothing serious" chat with that guy will lead to... and you'll end up loosing them both. Cut that guy out and go no contact with him. There is nothing for you to gain.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2015):

You start by admitting to yourself that this is something serious. Otherwise you wouldn't worry about your bf's reaction if he found out.

When you've admitted to yourself that this is wrong, you stop it. Cut him out. Cold. Completely; he's not a friend if he's secretly hoping to get with you.

Then in future, keep your boundaries.

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